Houston, We Have Contact

[TryTryAgain]

I hope you didn't imbibe too much with that Pinot! Man, if I bust open a bottle there's a good chance I'll be drinking the whole thing, and that always leads to trouble.

 

The alumni awards event was really fun last night. My dad was so honored. He actually got really choked up and cried when he was giving his acceptance speech. I was so proud of him!

 

Actually, EVERYONE thought I was a lot funnier than my ex did. I always did find that peculiar. Don't get me wrong, she thought I was funny but not as much as everyone else did.

 

What a surprise. LOL! My ex was the exact same way. Yeah, she thought I was funny, but there were times when she just didn't get it. I could have her friends in stitches and she would just be rolling her eyes, and not in the endearing way like "Aw, my boyfriend is so cute." It was more like, "why does he have to be a clown?...I don't want my boyfriend to be a clown." There were a couple of times I really pi**ed her off with some inappropriate humor, but that was the exception, not the rule. Most of the time it was just acting silly and playful.

 

I have no doubt that they'll both regret it. And even if they don't, because they realize that they just weren't meant to be with us, they'll still appreciate who we were to them. Sometimes respect is enough.

 

I'm almost beginning to think that my little fling with the ex back in December-January was more her feeling guilty for how poorly she previously treated such a caring person. Her exact words were, "Even if nothing comes of this, I wanted you to know how much I appreciate the person you are." I wonder now if she mistook her guilt for actual romantic feelings. I may never know.

 

And I agree with you, life is pretty cool sometimes. And I must say that the whole humor angle coupled with our broken home pasts is quite fascinating. It's so great being able to share with you and others on this thread. We're all helping each other here! I hope you have a nice Sunday, friend.

[1784]

Top o' the morning to ya, TryTry. It's just after 12 here and I'm getting ready to go out, run a couple of errands and then go see a friend. It's supposed to be 61 degrees and sunny today. Nice change from the monsoon that was yesterday here in the NYC.

 

I'm really glad that your dad had such a nice time. Sometimes, in the situation that we're in, it's really nice to be around those people who know you, love you and care for you, no matter what. It makes you realize who you are and where you come from; and that there's tons of people who love you just for you. There's a real comfort in that. They're not judging your every decision. That's how I felt with my ex. Like every choice was put in either one of two categories - 'reasons to marry him' or 'reasons to not marry him'. That's a lot of pressure. I'm sure I put more pressure on myself than was really there but it didn't come from out of nowhere either. I never felt that with any of my other long term gfs. I felt like this last one was constantly weighing and measuring everything I did. It could be pretty terrible.

 

Yeah, our exes really do sound a lot alike. The situations may not be exact but their traits sure do. I've always made people laugh. It's part of my identity. I just see the world through comical glasses a lot of the time. My ex and I definitely laughed a lot. we had good times. But I think we met on common ground, or more accurately, I tailored my humor for her. I knew the things that she enjoyed laughing about so I made sure to highlight them. When we were with her friends I wouldn't hold back as much. They'd all be laughing at whatever it was I was talking about and there she'd be, just like your ex, rolling her eyes wondering why I couldn't just be 'normal'. Why did I have to be this 'clown'? I think she would have preferred it if I had been a boring stock broker instead. Funny isn't as lucrative as serious and determined. It isn't as productive. And she is all about results. Preferably fiscal results.

 

When I think back to my dinner with her a week ago I'm still not 100% sure what it was about. She may not have had an agenda other than the fact that she missed me. It's weird. Maybe she was double checking on her decision to let me loose. I guess it may come down to priorities. We were very attracted to one another physically. We had fun. She knows I'm a caring person. She knows I love her. She knows I'll be a good father. I think the whole 'provider' thing has her scratching her head, though.

 

She wants $$. I make close to a 6 figure salary but here in the tri-state area (NY, NJ, Connecticut) it takes a pretty good salary to live comfortably. I think she doubted my ability to give her that financial security. This put a crack in the picture frame that she had crafted for herself. It wouldn't go away. She really questioned my motivation, or lack thereof. She needed to know that all of her ducks were in a row before truly committing (in her head). This is why I always felt judged. I think she wanted to commit to be fully but something was stopping her. This just comes down to one' sown priorities. She grew up with money and i didn't. I want to do well and am trying but it isn't a make or break thing for me. I want her to love me for who I am not what I do. I want her to know that of course I'll always try my best to be a provider. But knowing someone will love you no matter what is very important... to me. Maybe it's less important to her. I dunno. I once asked her if I was a blue collar worker if she'd still love me. I thought this was a no-brainer type question. Well, be careful what you ask. she basically told me that a blue collar worker "would not work" for her. And if I had been a blue collar worker we never would have ended up dating. Nice, huh? So much for loving someone for who they are. She's honest, I'll give her that. They all think that "Sex & the City" is an option, not a television show.

 

I think she struggles with her wants. I thin part of her thinks she SHOULD be with someone like me. I'm not perfect but I love purely. I'm nice. I'm smart. I'm good looking. I'm funny. I just don't make as much money as she'd like. And in her fairytale the prince has BANK. Well, i don't want to be almost good enough. I want to be someone's fairytale. I guess I'm just not hers. So be it.

 

But to get mack to my point, I think she was more checking on me, checking on herself, etc, when we met for dinner. Fine. But this won't happen again. Not for those reasons anyway. It's always about what she wants/needs. Well I'm not in that position for her anymore. She can't expect anything from me. Well she can expect it but she's not going to get it. She lost the right. She lost the benefit. She's on her own now. Have fun! Find your 'financial adviser' boyfriend, have lots of money and live in your Crate & Barrel world. I guess I was just too real for her.

 

TryTry - our similarities are staggering. It's crazy. Thanks for checking in. Have a GREAT day! I'll check in tonight.

 

Cheers.

[1784]

Good Morning All...

 

I reached a place of acceptance that I figured I'd write about this morning. It's not a 100% "she's never going to call on me" place but it's a pretty good place nonetheless. I was driving home from a friend's house last night at about 9pm, it was a nice evening sky, the moon was lit brightly and I just felt a peace with the world that I hadn't felt in quite some time. I let go a little bit. Let go of the pressure I've been putting on myself and my life to fix everything in a day. I let go of looking for answers that aren't there. I felt like I was letting go and putting more of a trust in the ways of the universe. I don't mean to get too New Age on you all especially since I'm not very much like that. I do believe in a higher power but I'm not so sure my love life is of much concern to the big man upstairs. Anyway, I'm at a place where I'm going to NOT try so much. I'm going to let go as much as I can. Put some trust in the flow of life and enjoy what's in front of me instead of what isn't.

 

I realize that I'm never going to be happy with whatever answers I get about the breakup. Either way you slice it, it sucks. I think I've been fighting that. Fighting exactly what happened. I don't think I want to fight it anymore. It just makes me crazy and it's not going to change anything. She made the choice that suited her, for whatever reason(s). I'm not perfect but I'd never do that to someone. Not for the reasons she gave. I just have to accept that. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be and this was the way in which it manifested itself. I just don't know how to go about it anymore, ya know?

 

Anyway, I'm feeling more at peace with it all. I'm not healed. I'm not quite over her yet but I am on the right path. Anyone who would break up with me because of the reasons she gave does not deserve this relationship. It amazes me how much good I thought we had and little bad. Anyway, it is what it is. I'm ready to move forward without her.

 

Just some morning thoughts. These things tend to be short-lived but this one feels different. It feels right.

[worldgonewrong]

I swear, 1784, your posts always carry such clarity and thoughtfulness. I find myself trying to learn from you, even though our scenarios are sort of different. You have a lot of wisdom. The calm and self-respect with which you carry yourself is simply amazing, and something for me to aspire to. thank you for your presence here.

[1784]

Thanks, worldgonewrong. That really means a lot to me. Everyone's support has been exceptional. I'm just trying to share how I feel, day to day, to show everyone and myself how to go through this, for better or worse. I'm glad that it's helping to a certain degree.

 

You know, you live and you learn. There are different phases you go in and out of. Sometimes it takes banging your head into the same wall so many times before you decide to go around it. I feel like I've been looking for answers that either aren't there or that I've already gotten answers to. I think I refused to accept what was in front of me. So instead of saying to myself "Yes. These are the reasons. Accept these and move on", I was looking for more or something different. I didn't want to accept that my ex could be that selfish. I couldn't understand how she could throw away all that she did for the reasons she gave. I didn't want to believe it. When you love someone you give them a lot of excuses. You give them the benefit of the doubt. You apologize for them. You refuse to believe their shortcomings. That's what I've been doing. I've been taking something pretty simple and trying to figure out how she could possibly do the things she's done for the reasons she gave. Well, I'll never know. Not fully anyway. And that's just something I'm going to have to accept. I have no choice. She showed me what she was about. I just didn't want to see it, and that's my own fault. Now either she can leave me with that and walk away forever or she can try to mend things with me. It's her choice to either try or not try. I'm not taking responsibility for this anymore. I didn't leave her. She left me.

 

Either way I'm going to be happy, with or without her. I've been putting too much on all of this. She was one aspect of my life (a pretty huge aspect, mind you). Now she accounts for no aspects of my life. It's up to me to get living. I accept 100% responsibility for it. So I'm gonna see what's out there, what's available to me. She may call, she may not. It doesn't matter right now. It may never matter. I have to live like that. It's the only sensible thing to do.

Edited April 18, 2011 by 1784

[Dazdnconfuzed]

Hey peeps,

 

I just got back frrmo a trip and now that I am all caught up (took me two cups of coffee and 5 cigarettes to do) Here is my take.

 

Last time i left off here it was the day after and you werent really happy with what went on, you said you werent expecting much but deep down you were expecting certain things and we all knew... at least i did.

 

This thread then took a turn for the emotional spilling, your hoover dam starting to collaspe just a bit. You got it together as you posted here instead of going nuts and trying to contact her but check this out -

 

-She will 100% be contacting you no doubt in my mind.

-She is doing the exact same thing you are doing at the moment.

-She is selfish, so it took every DNA pattern in her body to reach out to you, I bet now she is thinking WTF why isnt he calling, I MEAN DID YOU SEE THAT EYE CONTACT STARE THINGY!!!

 

 

You are not and were not the only one eating your insides out about this cause you didnt really give her jack at the dinner either. You think she wasnt expecting something as well?

She probably thought you owed her such because she came out and asked you out.

 

The only thing you can do at this time is what you have been doing, living your life and getting your situation in order. Taking care of mum and the house. Maybe smoke a little reefer... why not.

 

You may eventually contact her when you feel and if you feel its right but I strongly believe she is also saying alot of the same things you are, maybe not on LS but to her close friends/family.

[TryTryAgain]

Hey 1784.

 

Hope you're hanging in there okay today. It sounds like the rest of your weekend and beginning of the week are going well. That is great to hear.

 

Things were really feeling good for me over the weekend, and then all of these emotions about my ex rushed back to me Monday morning. She was in my dreams Sunday night, and I haven't felt right since. I'm feeling this almost overwhemlming urge to contact her. I probably won't, but it still really hurts. I was at the office until after 9 last night and all I wanted to do was call her on my way home to maybe hold her in my arms once again.

 

Just had to get that out...

[1784]

@Dazdnconfuzed

 

I hope your trip went well and was enjoyable. This thread is quite the BEAST, isn't it? It reads like a novel. Maybe I should turn it into one. Haha. I figure it's more helpful for everyone, including myself, to have everything in one place. You can actually see the journey from one point to the next which is kind of cool. You get to see my line of thinking, highs and lows, etc. I mean, yeah, it takes some time to get through all 23 pages of it (Jeez) but if you want the full experience you gotta put in the time! I've actually gone back and re-read it once, from the beginning. It's crazy.

 

I definitely expected more from the dinner with my ex than I let on. Why? Because I don't think I realized it myself. Maybe you all did. I'm sure a lot of you did. I think I was sort of fooling myself. That's not to say that I was surprised with how it all went. It was basically just a nice dinner. Not much more. I'll take it for what it is (now). In the days following the dinner, as you said, my "hoover dam started to collapse just a bit". But I needed time to digest it. I've arrived at a better place now. I sat with it, wrote on it here, took in all of your advice, etc. Now I'm here., wherever here is.

 

As for her contacting me... I'm unsure. I mean, I think eventually she'll contact me but I have no idea as to why. It's really up in the air. I do think she will, though. I guess that's something. I do know that she has to be thinking of the same stuff that I've been, like you said. How could she not? She's human (I think). And being that she is who she is (self-involved, confident), I'm sure that she is wondering why I haven't said anything since dinner ("it was nice seeing you", "I had a nice time", "we should do it again sometime",etc). I just thought it better to just leave it alone. Anyway, I figure there must be all sorts of things on her mind. I just don't know what those things might be nor do I plan on trying to figure them out. They are what they are. They're her thoughts. If she wanted to share them she would. I have to worry about my thoughts.

 

Thanks for checking in. Always nice to see a little bit of optimism from the readers of this thread. It makes me feel good, so thank you. We'll see what happens.

 

I hope you're well!

[1784]

@TryTryAgain

 

I'm hanging in. I think I was a little better yesterday but not a lot. I do believe I'm finding a more consistent place on which to stand. I'm not grabbing at whatever idea grabs me for that moment. I'm settling in with a basic set of ideas/beliefs that seem sound and work. Today it's just the weather, lol. I'm definitely weather affected much more these days than I used to be when I was younger. It's pretty odd. Today is overcast with a good chance of rain here in the NYC. It's pretty gloomy and gray. I feel sort of tired. All I want to do is lay in bed and watch 80s movies.

 

I'm sorry to hear that you've had a more difficult time as of late. I knew when I didn't hear from you yesterday that you must be 'in it'. Still, you SHOULD post here when you're feeling it. I guarantee I'll make you feel better!

 

Dreams are tough. They can really do a number on you. We all know this. There are mornings that I wake up knowing that I had a stressful dream. What's funny is that I assume it's about her. I don't even know for sure as I don't always remember the dream. I know for a bit I was dreaming about her and waking up feeling all crappy. Now I think I'm not but I feel like I am because she generally is on my mind when I wake up. I'm just trying to let it be. It is what it is. I'm trying not to analyze it or think further on it. I think it'll dissipate in time. I'm just so tired of fighting myself.

 

Yeah, I get those urges to contact my ex. I guess I'm just too prideful to do so, though. I don't think any good will come from it. I'd be contacting her to get something from her (love, attention, affection, etc). I don't want to do that. She turned me away, I didn't turn her away. I'm not one to go back somewhere I'm not wanted. And I wouldn't go back because I simply don't want to be rejected again. Once is enough for me. You don't have to tell me twice that you "give up". Really? Ok. So be it. But of course I get the urge to contact her. I have images of her knocking on my door and laying with me in my bed. I try not to entertain these thoughts too much. I let them come into my brain, allow them to happen and then let them pass on through. It's hard sometimes, though.

 

Anyway, I know how you feel, man. You know how we're similar. I don't think you should contact her, though. I know you know that but I wanted to say it anyway just in case you ever second guess yourself. Remember me saying that you shouldn't. You're lost lost brother from NYC says "NO!". Hell, I know you will if you really want to. I just don't want her to get your hopes up and then disappear again. I don't want that for you and I don't want her to even have the privilege of getting you again... that is unless she comes to her senses for real.

 

Anyway, that's all for now/ Let me know how you are today. Hopefully things get back on track. Bumps are just that, small inconveniences in the road. They're not mountains. Don't make this into something it's not. Just keep on driving forward.

[noleaf]

1784 - kind of off topic here - but the novel idea would be really interesting. You're a really good writer and there is kind of a positive vibe being shared here on the forum about people coming together in difficult times. Its really touching to see people giving advice and supporting each other. It would be nice to try and get that over in a novel or book in some way.....

 

 

...anyway, sorry for the bit of the hijack - i'm still keeping upto date on your thread and just saw your reply to dazd.

 

x x x

 

p.s - it sounds like you feel as if your getting to a bit more of an even keel with your emotions and feelings at the moment - not so many up and downs. Keep strong

[1784]

@noleaf

 

Yeah, I've always had it in the back of my mind that I was going to write a novel one of these days. I started one a little while ago but nothing really ever came of it. This could be just the thing. Maybe eventually it'll all come together in my mind : )

 

I am feeling a bit more even keel lately. I still have my ups and downs but they're a bit more consistent and less drastic. The downs aren't quite so down and the ups don't feel fabricated, like I'm desperately reaching for an idea, suggestion or theory on which to hang on to. I just think I've found a place in my mind that feels comfortable. It's not ideal and I don't really want to stay here forever but for now it'll do fine. I can't say that I've moved on because I'm still in a sort of limbo, I still ache and I still consider the possibility of 'her'; but I am closer to the exit than I was a week ago. I can say that much for myself. I'm finding myself again and it feels pretty good. Sometimes I'm unsure of whether I miss her or if I just miss us, if that makes any sense. The us that had plans and did things and had goals. Not to mention the physicality of the relationship. Just that alone is hard to give up on a purely human level. But I'm doing less missing altogether and a lot more living.

 

So yeah, I'm better than I was. I still wonder if she'll reach out again, though. I'm not gonna lie. It's there, but I let it be there and move on to the next thing. I'm not forcing any thoughts in or out. I'm just sort of letting everything breathe.

[hunk]

1784, give it a few more weeks, perhaps even another month or so, and honestly you are going to feel amazing. Once you reach this place there's absolutely no turning back, and you'll look back on all this sorrow and shake your head. Please trust me on this, one day you're going to wake up and everything will be beautiful. At this point, you won't even WANT her to contact you, and when she does, you will be so far done with her you won't even entertain the idea of getting back together. This will be another chapter in your life that's closed, and while it doesn't seem this way now, you will be SO thankful. You need to trust me on this. Read Krishnamurti's "On Living and Dying". Life changing stuff, completely pulled me out of my slump and just slapped me silly, and now i'm literally happier than i've been in years, and i resent the days spent pining over another person and ALLOWING myself to. Live your life bro, forget about her. The second you do, she'll be blowing up your phone and you'll be laughing your ass off

[ahoy]

I agree completely with what Hunk just said. The "Live your life bro, forget about her. The second you do, she'll be blowing up your phone and you'll be laughing your ass off" bit is especially true in my situation.

 

I was originally really annoyed at what happened between me and my ex, and went into NC for the wrong reason (hoping she'd come running back). Now with a clear head I can honestly say that sticking to my guns and removing contact has allowed me to enjoy the latest chapter of my life rather than dwelling in the past.

 

She has actually been trying hard to contact me recently. Even suggested a reconciliation which I am not interested in now I can see how wrong she was for me (and vice versa, if I'm honest). Now I'm at a point where these attempted contacts are not only easy to ignore, they don't effect me on any real emotional level (although random calls at late hours is getting annoying, it's easy enough to turn off your phone).

[hunk]

It's an awesome feeling huh ahoy. After all this yearning for them to call you and establish contact they're now doing it, and you couldn't give less of a ****. Being dumped is often a blessing in disguise, because at the end of the day YOU are the one who comes out of it a better person, learning so much in the process, and knowing that you'll never look back. You've dealt with the emotion, the pain and sorrow and lived it, it's been a journey for you. They haven't, and if they have it's nowhere near as significant as what you've been through. The dumper is the one who sees you having the time of your life, completely healed and moved on, and has to deal with the "what if" that's almost inevitable in every situation, while we sit back and cruise onto the next with a new found arsenal of knowledge and a rock solid sense of self worth.

[1784]

Thanks for the replies, guys. I really do appreciate it. I guess there's only one thing I'm wrestling with and perhaps someone can straighten me out. I'm sure it isn't anything new to the forum or any of you. Here it is...

 

In regards to "At this point, you won't even WANT her to contact you, and when she does, you will be so far done with her you won't even entertain the idea of getting back together. This will be another chapter in your life that's closed, and while it doesn't seem this way now, you will be SO thankful."...

 

While this sounds really great and I really do want to be happy it kind of saddens me to be 'over' her. Does that make any sense? I mean, I'm coming along. It's happening slowly. I suppose I'm hanging on ever so slightly to the idea of 'us. To think of looking at her indifferently has sort of a bitter sweet taste to it. Does that make any sense?

 

Other than that, though, all good things. I think you're right about the ex having to deal with "what ifs" since she ultimately made the decision to give up on us.

 

Anyway, as always, thank you. Any further advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

-1784

[ahoy]

Yeah it makes sense to me, but I think it's also a case of having something there for so long that it seems weird when it's gone - rather than thorough sadness about getting over your ex. Weird metaphor but imagine you've had a car for a few years, you sell it and get a new one - you're not missing the old car, you're adjusting to your new car.

 

Not the best example, but I seriously have started to believe that most of what we feel after a break-up is as much of an adjustment period than it is a period of grievance.

[1784]

I get what you're saying but I didn't want to sell my old car - lol. I guess you could say it broke down instead. But I do miss the old car. I thought we were going to travel a lot of places together. Anyway, enough with the car metaphor.

[ahoy]

I think we've driven the whole car metaphor as far as we can. This is the end of the road, haha

 

I get what you mean though. I think the thought of getting over or "forgetting" someone from your past is actually really scary - suppose it could be seen as a fear of the unknown - but once it's happened, it's liberating.

[1784]

It's not like it's the first time I've had to do it. I should know better. I guess the heart is very forgetful. I've had a couple of serious breakups in my time. I think because this one came at age 35 instead of 25 I felt more invested in this one. I mean, they all hurt but this really has f***cked me up. What can I say, I do miss her. But like I've been saying now for a little while, I'm not going to force anything. The only thing I can worry about at this point is myself. She made her choice.

[ahoy]

I'm only 24, I've never really had an issue with previous break-ups. I usually remained friends because in all honesty, I often didn't even really want a relationship by the time either myself or my ex had decided to finish it.

 

This time I fell straight into a mature, loving relationship completely by accident and I guess I was taken by surprise. I invested everything I possibly could into that relationship without becoming a doormat. I said and thought things I never even imagined I'd say. There's still feelings for my ex, I know that because I haven't gotten rid of pictures and gifts like I usually would (they're in storage, and they're not coming out of storage til I've found someone new - and even then I'm hoping it'll only be to dispose of the stuff).

 

She ended the relationship on her terms, anything that happens between myself and her from here on in is going to be strictly on my terms. She's even offered as close to a sincere reconciliation as I think she can muster in a one way conversation. I've stuck to NC, she's not getting a third time lucky.

[1784]

Honestly, I still can't believe we had dinner 2 Fridays ago and then *poof*... nothing. Do you guys think that she will eventually contact me? It just seems to strange that she texted me, we spoke on the phone, she invited me to dinner and then dead air. Nothing. Do you think perhaps she's going through all sorts of confusing thoughts in her head as well?

[ahoy]

It's more than possible that she's confused. Could also be possible that she's trying to seem indifferent? Who can ever really know the motives behind people's actions... she could, coincidentally, have stumbled upon a site/blog that advocates NC possibly?

 

She'll almost certainly contact you though. My ex has made me realise that regardless of what they do/say, they make an excuse to contact you. When I explained that I didn't want to speak to her as I needed space she barraged me with abuse. A couple of hours later, and over the next week and a half, my phone doesn't stop ringing and the texts flood in.

[hunk]

Don't worry man i know what you mean about not really wanting to be over her, nor it feeling natural or right. It's exactly how i felt. When you really believe this person is right for you, it takes alot to be confident in your decision to just move on. But at the end of the day, we need to see it for what it is. She dumped you. That's all there is to it. You dated for a long time, she shouldn't have problems communicating to you that she wants to be with you. The fact is, she isn't doing this. You have no responsibility in this situation, you owe her NOTHING. You'll get over her quicker than you think, and while you'll always love her, you'll be at peace with yourself when you can truly come to terms with everything and move on with an open mind. I know it's not what you want to hear, but you need to grasp what is happening NOW. We get so caught up in living our lives based on continuity, that we are destroyed once this continuity or any aspect of it is taken away. You're scared of a future without her, a future that's ultimately unknown. There's no reason to have this fear, how can you fear the unknown? It's just that - unknown. All your sorrow and pain is coming from a disruption to your continuity, she's just become another aspect of life that's familiar to you. She's become like your job, your home, your family, your everyday routine. This is all continuity, and this continuity is ALL WE KNOW. Our lives and how we think and see the world is completely based on memory and past experiences. That's it. The only difference in this case, is that love is involved. But even though this continuity has been disrupted, your ability to love will never be. Love can't be affected by continuity, otherwise it would be familiar, smelling of oldness, quarrels, fights and brutality. Love is completely pure and innocent, i know you understand what i mean. The future is unknown, but that's something to embrace. Understand that although the future's unknown, your ability to love and be loved will never be unknown, because it is totally and wholly pure. When you realize and understand this, you won't worry about getting back together with her, or anyone else who just carelessly lets you go for that matter. It's alot to take in, but try to think about it. You'll feel better.

[silvermane187]

Hey buddy,

 

You're going to drive yourself crazy if you try to figure out what she's thinking. Even the most logical women on the planet can be a complete enigma to a logical man. Whatever is going through her head is most likely being driven by emotion. Flawed, illogical, raw emotion that can't be explained. For whatever reason she thinks contacting you is not a good idea. It could be guilt, it could be sadness, it could be anger, it could be a million different crazy things. There is no way to know unless she decided to contact you and open up. Try not to obsess about it. Take a step back and ask yourself what advice you would give to someone in your shoes.

[1784]

Continuity, eh? You really have been reading Krishnamurti, haven't you, hunk? Time, sorrow and death. I know of which you speak. ; ) Honestly, all of your points make perfect sense, logically of course. I suppose it's the "Why" that generally gets me into trouble. Once again... acceptance. Here is what it is. Reality. Everything else is just theory. And we all know that we can go on debating theories forever without ever finding out the actual facts. It's counterproductive.

 

I'm really not trying to figure out what she's thinking. What I mean is, I'm not sitting around going over different mental scenarios in my head. I have enough with which to go on. I guess I was just wondering if you guys, based on what you know about the situation (all 24 pages of it) if you think she'll contact me again. That's all. I think she will eventually. When or why, though, is something I won't know.I'm not trying to get in her head but I guess I am having some issue with closing the door shut completely. It closes more every day. That I do know.