~Older Men?~

[Vivid_29]

A question for the lovely ladies (older and youngins) - When you were in your late teens or early twenties, did you find yourselves attracted to older men in their mid 30's and 40's? Would you or did you date them?

 

The reason I ask is 'cause my other half and I are 9 years apart (21-30) and she seems to think that men get better looking as they age. I think older women are attractive, because of their experience and their stability. I thought that she would think the same, regarding older men.

 

So, for you older women, who were attracted to the older men when you were in your late teens and early 20's -- What were your reasons?

 

And for the youngins -- Are you attracted to men in their 30's and 40's and would you ever consider dating any of them? What are your age limitations?

 

~V

[yes]

My official age limitation is 30 (i.e. 8 years older than me), but as you already know, Vivid, I've gone past it.

 

To young gals, older men represent experience (in all senses), stability, knowledge of life. Often, older men also have less $ problems, they're more independent of their parents (in all ways). Many advantages. Also, they're more likely to be ready to settle down.

 

As for looks, many men do look better once they age a lil - they lose the babyface look.

 

I think girls who go for older men have a complex need for a stable authority-figure AND someone to nurture (older men are less bent on their independence and are more open to being taken care of, i think).

 

Of course, every case is diff't - just some thoughts. So, Viv, what makes older guys go for the younguns?

 

-yes

[Vivid_29]

Originally posted by yes

 

So, Viv, what makes older guys go for the younguns?

 

-yes

 

Personally, I think that the younguns are little cutie pies, but I don't usually go for them. The younguns are the ones I end up with (not complaining silky ), just like my past relationship, she was 8 years younger than me.

 

In the past, I've dated women that were old enough to be my mom, but I never got serious with them, because they seemed to be too bossy and wanted to wear the pants in the relationship. That didn't sit too well with me, so I just had fun with them!

 

~V

[Karlise]

I always loved dating older men. They were so much more interesting!

 

When I was in my twenties, the guys my age were all about partying and bull****.

Guys in their thirties or forties could actually converse about other things. I dated guys 9, 10, 15 and 20 years older than me for years! A couple of relationships got very serious, to the point we lived together and discussed engagement (I never wanted to get married, really, but that's another thread).

 

There's a myth out there that women who date older men are 'looking for daddy' but I disagree.

I found sex to be a lot hotter with older men (they know what a woman likes!!!!!) and I never asked anyone to 'take care of me'. I've always been independent.

 

Of course now I'm in a relationship with a guy my age...but we're in our late thirties so things have evened out.

He laughs and tells me that I wouldn't have been able to stand him at age 22-25 as he was wild and unreliable at that age.

[bella8464]

i am 23 years old and my last boyfriend was 16 years older than me. before i met him i would have never considered dating someone that much older than me. my limit was 10 years older, and that was stretching it. i was always attracted to men around my age. but now that i had the experience of dating him, i have a newfound appreciation for older men. theres something about them that is sexy as hell, something that goes far beyond looks. older men are usually more emotionally and mentally stable than younger ones. they know who they are, they know what they want, they know how to get it. they dont play games. their confidence just exudes. they know how to treat a woman right, they know how to please them. thats not to say younger men dont and cant be all those things that older men are, but it is more rare to find someone younger that possesses all those great qualities older men have to offer.

 

as far as looks, the babyface thing can be very appealing. but men do get sexier as they age. wrinkles and gray hair dont always scare me. it just depends on the way a man carries himself. look at george clooney, wrinkles, gray hair, yet that comes with a million dollar smile and so much confidence. that to me is hot.

[Vivid_29]

Originally posted by bella8464

look at george clooney, wrinkles, gray hair, yet that comes with a million dollar smile and so much confidence. that to me is hot.

 

It's funny that you mention wrinkles. My SO thinks that the wrinkles on Bruce Willis are sexy!

 

~V

[moimeme]

I have always liked grey frosting on guys' hair and if some fellow has a pile of smile lines around his eyes, it's all good! After all, how else did he get them than by smiling?

[gaia]

I love older men. Always have. My record was 20 years older than me.

 

I think girls who go for older men have a complex need for a stable authority-figure AND someone to nurture

 

HAHAHA. The day I need an authority figure, hell will freeze over!!!

 

I too love the laugh lines round the eyes - SO attractive.

[moimeme]

The day I need an authority figure, hell will freeze over!!!

 

Amen to THAT!

[Vivid_29]

Originally posted by moimeme

The day I need an authority figure, hell will freeze over!!!

 

Amen to THAT!

 

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure!

 

~Roux

[gaia]

And what is that supposed to mean, Vivid!!

[Vivid_29]

Originally posted by gaia

And what is that supposed to mean, Vivid!!

 

Just being a playful chucklehead.

 

~V

[GeorgiaSongbird]

My current sweetie is actually 2 years younger than me.. He was the first SO in my life that was close to my age.

 

The guy I dated before him was 14 years older than me. Most of the time we didn't notice the age difference, unless we were talking about something that was generational in nature. Like once he told me his high school girlfriend always told him he looked like Peter Frampton. My reaction was "Peter who?" Not too long after that I saw a VH1 special on Peter Frampton and the ex still looks like him!!

 

I didn't go "looking" for older men, but it always seem to turn out that way.. I just wanted someone I could have an intelligent conversation with!! I don't think guys around here are not mature in their early 20s (sometimes never!)... Plus I'm already considered a little odd.. so it was usually older men who weren't from around here until I bumped in the sweeetie again in 1996 (we knew each other in high school). At that point, enough time had past that we more on the same wave length and the rest, as they say, is history.

[reasontosigh]

I tend to prefer older guys - or younger ones. Seems at any time in my life the guys I dated that were my age were the problematic ones.

 

My best friend (who I also refer to as the love of my life) is eight years older than me. I've known him 24 years and he just gets sexier with every passing day!

 

The younger guys I hang with these days are all in their mid-thirties.

[Dug]

Sorry for intruding on a female thread, but I do have a comment to offer. Most of the young women I have dated always lamented about the times they've wasted on young boys, trying to save them, convert them, mother them etc. I have read on medical/psychological sites, that young women often tend to find a young "bad boy" and take him on as a "project"....perhaps it is the beginnings of the maternal clock thingy, but in any case most women afflicted also out-grow this and go for the more mature and consistent "older man" when they grow tired of heartache and disapointment. This is certainly not the way for all women.

[jenny]

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[jenny]

i've dated one *way* younger man, but he was ages ahead of me in terms of intellectual development.

 

the rest of the time, it's been older guys: they have more power, more assurance, often more education, and more emotional stability. they are way less likely to perform themselves as various tedious young-man cliches, and can map out a city and a woman's body with equal aplomb. i like men who can teach me things.

 

while my guy friends (my age or so) are pretending to be bad-ass because they have broken a few hearts, these men are drawing up strip mining mergers. it's not a hard call for me to decide who has more power.

[Arabess]

I like them young

I like then old

I have a tooth

Made of gold.....

 

My version of a slutty Cat in the Hat

[longlegzs80]

STay away from the older men. Their trouble.

[DerangedAngel]

I always go for older guys. Men definitely get better with age.

 

Been in a relationship with a 16 year age gap, and a 14 year one. Such gaps can cause problems, I think. Especially when they start remembering all this stuff and you're like "uh, huh... yeah that was great." (mentally: WTF IS HE TALKING ABOUT?) But I'm rambling.

 

Older men, sexy, yes. There.

 

-Deranged

[Fedup&givingup]

My thinking on this matter was that older men were more mature and settled down (and responsible). I thought the more successful and settled they were, the more appealing they were. I never was crazed over the "cool" guys that thought partying every night.

 

Actually, my husband (the bastard) is 11.5 years older than I am, and that both scared me at first and was appealing. I figured he would be the leader of most everything in our relationship, and to a great deal, he has been...but, he's so lacking in several areas. I've come to realize that I have grown tremendously as an individual since I've been with him, and I feel way ahead of him now even, maturity wise.

[Pyrannaste]

I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 7 yrs older -which isn't a so big age difference.

As a general rule, i wouldn't date any man who was more than 8 years older than me, or more than 3 years younger.

Last time I was single, I were very attracted to a man who was 11 years older than me, and there was some mild flirting going on. I guess age hadn't a lot to do with it. He was just really charming, very intelligent and with a great sense of humor. Which is rare in attorneys, I dare say. Handsome too....blond, green eyes, tall. Rugby player. Well, I guess I would have loved to date him(which never happened) EVEN if he was 11 yrs older, not BECAUSE he was 11 yrs older:)

I also got a crush on a 40 yrs old teacher when I was 18, and another crush on a university professor at the age of 21. But I suppose crushes don't count.

[morrigan]

I find a certain guys in their early thirties quite attractive, and I've been asked out by guys quite a bit younger than I am, but I've never dated anyone more than 2 yrs. older or 3 years younger than me. I'm just more comfortable with someone who's my age.

 

Some guys become mature as they get older, but you will still see some 58 year old catcalling to a 15 year old girl. Age doesn't necessarily bring wisdom.

[jane00]

When I was in my early 20's I mostly dated men in their 30's and 40's. During this time, I had a long relationship with a man 19 years my senior. I probably found him more manly, more attractive. At 27 I married a 44 year old. The age gap did not pose issues. I'm divorced now, and just ended a relationship with a man 29 years older. He will be 60 in a few months. I found him to be incredibly sexy, intelligent, and confident. I would definitely date a much older man again. I found that the man approaching 60 was just as sexually satisfying as a man in his 20's. I think that I would date a man up to 70 years of age.

 

I do think that I like the control that I have over older men. I like the fact that they are grateful to be with me, and like to parade me around. Yes, for me it is less about looks and more about control. I probably have deep dark issues that I need counselling for. Until I have to see a counselor, I'm going to actively pursue my next deeply sexy, successful, intelligent sugar daddy.