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I don't know what I want ... advise please!


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I've been dating this guy for 6 months. We starting when we both were out of a previous relationship for 5 months. At the beginning, his ex-GF stayed at his place one night a week and then he told her to sleep on the couch. She got upset and didn't want to see him anymore. So I kinda became his new GF, only that I wasn't really ready to make a committment so I told him I want an open relationship even though I have stopped dating other guys I was seeing. Besides, he has a pix of him and his ex-GF still on his desk he never took off. Apparently his ex-GF wanted him back and called him demanding him to break up with me. He thought she was crazy and ignored her 'coz he was happy with me. Then a few weeks ago he had to go work at a place once a week that is near her house and I guess they started having dinner and the next time he started staying over. Before he started working that job, I already jokingly said to him here is your chance to start seeing your ex-GF again and he said "I don't think so". Well apparently her persistence finally pay off 'coz she got a chance with him.

 

What upset me most was I asked him 2 wks ago it seems that we haven't had as much sex and intimacy and he came right out saying that he was probably taking me for granted that I'll be there all the time on weekends so it is not as exciting as before when he never know if I'll stay or not. I was hurt and 2 days later told him I want a one month break. He gladly accepted even though we haven't worked out the detail of defining what this one month break means. The next weekend, first time we've been apart, I missed him and went to his apt. only to find her car there. I felt like I was in hell ... how could he replace me so soon. I called and called his home and cell but he didn't answer. He called a few hours later when she was gone, and I confronted him. He admitted to not picking up my calls when she was there 'coz he felt awkward and they both knew that was me. But he also said he didn't do anything wrong. He was right about that, but I was hurt because I felt he no longer put me as his primary... not even answering my call when it is just as easy as picking up the phone!

 

I also know she wants all or nothing, so her way in means she is going to squeeze me out. I broke it off with him trying to protect myself but I hurt like hell. Finally we talked the next night and I thought I might reconsider just the one month temp. break as I suggested before, instead of a permanent one. I don't really know what he is thinking but he is also not sure about if he really wants to get back with his ex-GF. He said just last few weeks our relationship seem to reach a plateau. I wonder if this will happen again and again. I am afraid to get hurt but I like him and like spending time with him and we have a lot more things in common. He is confused about his feelings now, but so am I. I asked him if I never told him about knowing his ex- was there and just tell him I want to cut the break short, what would he do. He said he would just juggle the schedule with the two of us. But also I asked him if he missed me at all and he said the first week he felt free! And we only see each other on weekends. Oh, the last time we talked on the phone, he called me from his cell. Then his home phone rang and he said it is probably his ex-GF and went ahead to answer the phone, telling her he would call her back. I asked him why he wouldn't answer my call but he would answer hers. He said it was awkward when she was there but I was just on the phone and it feels easier.

 

So from all the things he said and did, is he someone that is worth getting back with? Any one has similar experience that can shed me some light? Whether you are at my end of the boat, or be the one in the tug-o-war between an ex- and current GF/BF?

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Well he isn't worth it! Get a boyfriend that calls you alot more than him! You can do alot better! Soon you will fall inlove with another guy :love: ! Trust me! The plan will work. I havn't been in a situation like that before, but if I did, I wouldn't speak to him again! I sorta been in it though he likes a girl named emily and he broke up with me so he can go with her, and he won't answer his cell phone unless it is emily! So i can relate alot to you right now! I hope you find someone alot better! Tell me how it goes!

~Jenny

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