some help please............

[ARES]

I have been with my g/f for over a year. Were perfect for each other the problem is, I think she might be cheating on me....I have confronted her many times which is wrong and she says that if she were going to cheat on me she would have just broken up with me.....though i'm not stupid i know when people say that, its just bull**** we have all been down that road before.....Is there any possible way anyone here would know of to be able to tell more if she is cheating on me without me having to confront her.........Because if she is cheating on me yes i will be crushed but i will go out of my way to make her life hell for it.........please respond thanks.........

-Chris-

 

p.s. Sometimes i think i should end out realtionship, But i love her so much i just don't want to make a mistake......but then again i guess i am for doubting, some sings have been there but i could of misunderstood them....What would you guys do End it or find out whats going on and work through it?

[waterguy1975]

hey yo,Why do you think she is cheating on you?Are u insecure about something or is there evidence.That's how you know,evidence.Does she not want to have sex,is she not into it?Is she taking odd phone calls at odd times?You will usually see a change in behavior that is not normal.Only you can tell cause you know her best.Do not jump to conclusions until you have good evidence.Did she start going out with a crowd u don't know?etc.Until you know for sure don't jump the gun,cause maybe she is just a little unhappy or something,on the rag,or a little bummed out.If you find out for sure then get rid of her.

Bri

[ARES]

She just acts sneaky...checks her phone all the time.........she has to sneak out of her house and she has a big yard and when i pick her up i see alot of footprints thatr aren't new.......sometimes when i call her late at night it sounds strange..etc .......i don't know if its all in my head or if its a couincadence or if i'm just plain going crazy.......my gut says she is and i have nightmares every night about it...........what do you think?

[sportsloving]

What happens if you realize that you are wrong and she hasn't been doing anything? If you are that unsure of her or your relationship, it might be best for you both to end it now. You said that you love her very much... with love comes trust and understanding. Either way, I wish you tons of luck

[johan]

You won't get anywhere by accusing her of it, even if it's true. If you're freaked out, but you have no hard evidence, then your main problem is insecurity. When you feel like that, pretty much anything she does seems to tell you you're getting screwed over.

 

I get insecure with my girlfriend now, and I have to think things through to make myself feel better.

 

You know what? Your girlfriend is right. You need to think about it. Why would she keep you around if some other guy was making her happy? You aren't married. You aren't supporting her are you? No woman I've ever known would bother to keep more than one guy around. If you imagine she's got some other guy around making her feel good and making her laugh and giving her orgasms, then what would she need you for? Sounds like a lot of hassle to me. So if you're in, you're in.

 

So tell her that you feel insecure. Tell her what makes you feel that way. Tell her when she checks her cell phone all the time, you're imagination automatically tells you it's another guy and that drives you crazy. Because it really is your imagination. Don't make her feel like it's anything she's responsible for, because she isn't. Tell her that you need her help with it. If she's worth having, then she'll understand if you admit that to her. That alone should be enough to convince you she loves you.

 

Here's what not to do. DON'T go looking for hard evidence so you can nail her to the wall. DON'T confront her like you're some kind of genius. DON'T accuse her of being the kind of girl who would actually cheat on you, instead of being up front and honest. That's an insult, unless she wants to be with someone who thinks she's a lying scum. DON'T make a fool out of yourself trying to check her caller id and email. DON'T threaten to make her life hell if she does cheat on you, because that just shows you're in it for yourself and you actually don't give a damn about her.

 

And ask yourself this: are you thinking of ending the relationship, because you think it will freak her out and make her come running to you? When you say you would break up with her but you "don't want to make a mistake", then I think you're just using the break up as part of your strategy. That's manipulation, and don't expect it to work.

 

Suck it up, man. Relationships are inherently risky. You have to find the right way to deal with that. You'll never be able to control her. So you're going to just have to control yourself.