I don't know if I am happy or not

[Sw3etdev1L]

My mother died a year ago, with two months.

I already took antidepressives, and carbamazepine cause I got this thing... anyway. Now, in my health I am fine.

 

I got my boyfriend from six months ago, which I don't know if I love or not... I like spending time with him, when I am with him I am always smiling, and I love to grab hands with him.. almost all the time.

It's just that....sexually, we are compatible.. sometimes I feel i am more sexual than him which bothers me.. I haven't had an orgasm with him, a big one since we started dating, that is six months ago... I just feel very excited and little almost orgasms.. it makes me feel frustrated.

I like the way he talks, he walks, he smiles..

I hate how he is very complaining about MONEY...he speaks to me about his job almost always and he is always saying how he hates his job, repeatedly.

He is now going to the doctor and taking anxiety pills because he was so worried about money and his future as a wannabe millionaire that his back started hurting a looot.

He is sweet, he treats me very nice, he is smart...

sometimes so much complaining about what he wants and doesn't have gets to me, and I don't want to be with him.. not because he is not a great human being because he is.

When we go out we have a blast, he is the most generous person, takes me everywhere, is always looking for my best comfort and stuff... so I just wonder.. do I really love him enough?... does he really love him enough?

he was saying "when we marry, stuff".. then he once said " I don't have enough money to buy an apartment"... that kind of brought my illusion of marriage with him a little down and made me so angry...

Where I live people are close minded and the guy is the one who pays and is the head of the family economically... cause I'm latin. In latin places is still not that equal, those things...

Sometimes I feel so happy with him, and sometimes I feel as if he were not enough. But I know it is not fair.. I don't even know why I am feeling like this... I have wondered if I like him physically enough cause he is shorter than I am , and he is the first boyfriend ever I've gone out with who is shorter than me.

He continiously says he uncertain about the future which makes me doubt of him, not only economically but emotionally... he worries too much, and I am just recovering of my mothers death.. sometimes I don't know if I will be able to cope with him now, in his struggling face...

I still live with my father and sister, I am still in college and truly I am very comfortable here.. the only thing which sometimes makes me sad is missing mom. I cannot drink so, everything is so... serious to me sometimes!... I am a nutritionist and I treat people with diabetes, obesity and stuff you know here in latin america is an issue now and, sometimes I don't like the fact he is always thinking, worrying, dreaming, hurting himself because of money.... I love reading this self help books , and I've tried to help him put his feet on the ground but it is so hard!...

when we go out sometimes we have a blast, sometimes I feel something is missing, and I don't know why!...

I think my relationship is perfect though...

we are both goodhearted people, we treat each other nicely, we respect each other, we support each other, we make each other feel good about ourselves, accept ourselves, we both love kids, animals...

we are not getting married soon....

I don't know why I feel this way...

I wish my mom still lived so that she would give me insight... I feel horrible she is not here now, this is why I am opening up here and posting.

Have a nice day

[Trovador]

I also am Hispanic and it surprises me (and hurt me) that you have this backwards mentality, concerning the economical role of the genders in your community...

 

Are you self sufficient? I ask this because your post implies that you are expecting a man to marry you and keep you home all day, the way our mothers did a generation ago...

 

Personally, I think a woman has to be my equal (not really putting myself as the standard or goal to reach or anything, just saying that neither is more or less than the other) sexually, economically, intelectually, etc, to persue a relationship with her, I never would get interested in a lady whose concept of a relationship is based on the man doing all the work... as an example, the lady I am dating pays her share of the fun, literally, and she takes the initiative as much as I do... Neither would want it another way...

 

But kudos for accepting him the way he is, shorter than you, physical traits have nothing to do with anything, but shallow women tend to judge men for their looks, but I digress so I better go away... have a nice day, too...

[Sw3etdev1L]

Well that's a harsh judgement there.. being hispanic doesn't make you culturally latin if you don't live in latin america... so I guess you don't quite understand but thanks for judgamental input.. not very tolerant or understanding but thank you...

[harhar18]

My mother died a year ago, with two months.

I already took antidepressives, and carbamazepine cause I got this thing... anyway. Now, in my health I am fine.

 

I got my boyfriend from six months ago, which I don't know if I love or not... I like spending time with him, when I am with him I am always smiling, and I love to grab hands with him.. almost all the time.

It's just that....sexually, we are compatible.. sometimes I feel i am more sexual than him which bothers me.. I haven't had an orgasm with him, a big one since we started dating, that is six months ago... I just feel very excited and little almost orgasms.. it makes me feel frustrated.

I like the way he talks, he walks, he smiles..

I hate how he is very complaining about MONEY...he speaks to me about his job almost always and he is always saying how he hates his job, repeatedly.

He is now going to the doctor and taking anxiety pills because he was so worried about money and his future as a wannabe millionaire that his back started hurting a looot.

He is sweet, he treats me very nice, he is smart...

sometimes so much complaining about what he wants and doesn't have gets to me, and I don't want to be with him.. not because he is not a great human being because he is.

When we go out we have a blast, he is the most generous person, takes me everywhere, is always looking for my best comfort and stuff... so I just wonder.. do I really love him enough?... does he really love him enough?

he was saying "when we marry, stuff".. then he once said " I don't have enough money to buy an apartment"... that kind of brought my illusion of marriage with him a little down and made me so angry...

Where I live people are close minded and the guy is the one who pays and is the head of the family economically... cause I'm latin. In latin places is still not that equal, those things...

Sometimes I feel so happy with him, and sometimes I feel as if he were not enough. But I know it is not fair.. I don't even know why I am feeling like this... I have wondered if I like him physically enough cause he is shorter than I am , and he is the first boyfriend ever I've gone out with who is shorter than me.

He continiously says he uncertain about the future which makes me doubt of him, not only economically but emotionally... he worries too much, and I am just recovering of my mothers death.. sometimes I don't know if I will be able to cope with him now, in his struggling face...

I still live with my father and sister, I am still in college and truly I am very comfortable here.. the only thing which sometimes makes me sad is missing mom. I cannot drink so, everything is so... serious to me sometimes!... I am a nutritionist and I treat people with diabetes, obesity and stuff you know here in latin america is an issue now and, sometimes I don't like the fact he is always thinking, worrying, dreaming, hurting himself because of money.... I love reading this self help books , and I've tried to help him put his feet on the ground but it is so hard!...

when we go out sometimes we have a blast, sometimes I feel something is missing, and I don't know why!...

I think my relationship is perfect though...

we are both goodhearted people, we treat each other nicely, we respect each other, we support each other, we make each other feel good about ourselves, accept ourselves, we both love kids, animals...

we are not getting married soon....

I don't know why I feel this way...

I wish my mom still lived so that she would give me insight... I feel horrible she is not here now, this is why I am opening up here and posting.

Have a nice day

you need some time to redeem yourself,get up on that couch for the meantime,go to new places,find yourself,do speed dating or online dating, i heard this site thesinglelife.com you may check it out,and when everything is said and done,you will feel brand new,refreshed,and good things comes nice and easy. This method works 2 out of 3.