JJ123 Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 (edited) Ok well here it goes... I'm new here and looking for advice so if I'm doing something wrong just let me know. So I've been going through a stressful part of my life the past few months. Found out on Christmas last year my dad has Stage 4 lung cancer and its been taking a toll on me physically and emotionally. A few days after getting the news I met a girl in my English class, I'm a senior in high school, and noticed she was having trouble with some AP Bio homework. (Don't want this to sound arrogant but I though I should mention I'm seen as a "good student" by my teachers other students in my class. I have a 3.8 GPA and I'm a track runner for my school.) So we started talking in class about her AP Bio class, Which I took my junior year, and I ended up offering to tutor her twice a week for free so I could get to know her. First few times we met it was at a public library and I had never mentioned anything about myself personally, ie. the situation with my dad. It wasn't until she invited me to her house for dinner that I had a feeling she might be interested, so I accepted the offer and had dinner with her family and also "made nice" with her parents, who seemed to like me. After the third or forth tutor session we had after that dinner I asked her out to a movie, she accepted. It seemed to go well, I took care of the cost of the ticket and food. Since then we have talked on and off as friends but never passed that point of being more then friends. We get together to hang out almost every week now, apart from the tutoring, to watch movies or just talk and she knows the whole situation about my family troubles now. She is only the second person outside of our family that I told about the situation with my dad. Recently I planed on asking her to Prom which is this May. I feel like the longer I've wanted the harder its gotten to ask, and up until this weekend I still planned on asking until I heard she planned a date with an older guy (older being 21, and were both 17) that she just met. I found out about this through Facebook, and from what I can tell she doesn't know that I know about it. After hearing about that date, I kinda lost hope in having a relationship with her. I KNOW I have feelings for her but the more I wait to tell her the harder it gets for me to. That same night that she made the comment about going on that date to her friend, she woke up in the middle of the night because of a dream and said this to me at 2:30 in the morning "i just had a dream about you.... you were in a relationship and you wouldn't tell me who it was so i was like "we're like best friends. what the heck. i should know these things!" and you stormed off without saying anything..." So now I don't know what the hell to think. She hasn't had the other date yet and I want to tell her how I feel about her but I don't want to destroy a friendship because I care about her. The way I see it, if I tell her and she doesn't take it well then she is going to stop talking to me and her grade in the class I'm tutoring her in will slip and I'll feel like its my fault... What would you do if you where in my position :confused: Should I risk the friendship and tell her or just bottle it up and not tell her. Edited March 30, 2011 by JJ123 Link to post Share on other sites
interfuse Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 First of all, I'm really sorry that your dad has lung cancer. That must really suck. I would really tell her. I strongly encourage you to. You will never know until you make the first move. Then see what she says. It won't be your fault if her grade slips. It would be her problem because it's her own grades that she, herself, has to take care of. You're just helping. You're not the complete root to her problem, she has to deal with it herself. Don't stress over this. You don't want to add onto more stress on what stress you have now. This is a small thing. That being said, go tell her! Link to post Share on other sites
Author JJ123 Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 Thanks for the advice, I'm thinking about talking to her this weekend about it... Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 So now I don't know what the hell to think. She hasn't had the other date yet and I want to tell her how I feel about her but I don't want to destroy a friendship because I care about her. The way I see it, if I tell her and she doesn't take it well then she is going to stop talking to me and her grade in the class I'm tutoring her in will slip and I'll feel like its my fault... What would you do if you where in my position :confused: Should I risk the friendship and tell her or just bottle it up and not tell her. I'm sorry to hear about you Father! Which is more important to you... having her as a friend? Or having her as a GF? Once you choose... then what to do is clear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JJ123 Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 Yeah, I can see where your coming from. I'm going to risk the friendship for it... Not telling her hurts more then just letting it out. Link to post Share on other sites
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