yessy21 Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 My brother, sister and I were having dinner last night and something interesting came up. When our mother gets too old... or Dies who is going to take charge? I dont get along or like her very much. my sister and brother do..and they love her dearly. I made it clear that i would only help on the cost but i still did not want any contact or will not feel any obligation to be at the funeral or take care of her physically. I thought about how i would feel when my mother died and i swear i felt like i wouldnt care. not one tear or heartache. my brother says im cold hearted but i am not. i love him and my sister and their children and my child. Is it wrong... to not love the people who brought u to this world. I feel the same for my father. I just dont like them. neither of them. i hate their habits.. even the way they chew their food bothers me. Who am i? Link to post Share on other sites
Thedude22 Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I really wanna know! Whooooo are you? who who who who.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author yessy21 Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 I really wanna know! Whooooo are you? who who who who.... Apparently i have no clue. Link to post Share on other sites
BlindRage Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 In my personal opinion.... that is strange. I've noticed a lot of people think the way you though. I guess the difference for me is in my family we all love my mother more than life itself. She is, in my eyes, a god. I do find it odd when people don't speak highly of their mothers. I can't comprehend that. In a way though I understand the father part because my father to me is just some guy, a stranger that I've talked to before. Imagine if your child thought of you in the way you think of your mother Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Pardon me. is this a phylosophical question? If so, what does how you feel about your parents have anything to do with who you are? A zen Koan asks, "what did you look like before your parents were born?" Everything you are, is a label. It's either a noun, or an adjective. You're a woman, a sister, a daughter, a friend, an aunt, a colleague or student, an employee or student, you're smart, you're witty, you're attractive, you're tall/petite, you're *insert figure description here*, you're elegant, you're scruffy, you're fastidious, you're slapdash.... All these words describe aspects of you which are identifiable. They distinguish you from other people. They either set you apart, or unite you with others. But they are labels. they are actually, not who you are. If this is not a phylosophical question - kindly ignore the above. Just because you're related to someone, doesn't mean you are obligated to have strong emotional attachment to them. Being the fruit of someone's loins does not compel or force you to love them, any more than you should love anyone else. We may be imbued with a sense of duty, or a clear responsibility towards them for anything they have freely done for us, but love? No; that's not in the contract. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yessy21 Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 I wonder why though. Sophie (my daughter) and i have a different relationship. she gives me chitos (kisses), tell me im the best and that she loves me. i have affection towards my brother and sister. but i never since i was little liked her or my dad. i wouldnt kiss them cause it creeped me out. they smelled odd to me. everything about them disgusted me. not a hug, nothing, i cant. I know im not obligated but shouldnt i have feelings for my parents? I dont know if this is unhuman or not... Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Ah.... Buddhism might suggest that in a previous life/existence, you had an unfriendly relationship with them and there was hostility between you all. Having been re-born all together in this life, this is an opportunity for you to cultivate Compassion, Kindness, Wisdom and equanimity to redress the balance and to accrue beneficial consequences.... But that's just Buddhism for you. Ignore it by all means, if that's just too far-fetched to even contemplate..... Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 yessy- you actually DO express feelings for your parents, ones that encompass distain and Blase accord. To Taramaiden, a sentence struck me that such a philosphy holds true both ways on the "Love" being in the contract (or not)....Some kids can't understand how parents can be so unloving.....I think your statement makes it clear how such can be. I had an evil step mom and for years the contempt laid dormant, til finally as an adult it was confronted....IT would take an intense discussion and much past searching to realize she was now feeble and no longer able to be anything BUT remorsefull for her hateful acts...I forgave and from that I also moved on....I no longer carried her memories, I did though learn that even in the last of days, a heart can change and closure for both sides can transpire.,.... Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Apparently i have no clue. LOL!! "THeDude" was quoting a lyric from a tune...well done I might add. I think he was lightening the mood .... Link to post Share on other sites
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