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My girlfriend kissed another guy....I really need advice

charlie21

By charlie21,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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charlie21

charlie21

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My girlfriend of almost 2 years was out of town for her friends bachelorette party this weekend. My girlfriend doesn't normally drink. She apparently got really really drunk and ended up kissing a guy at the bar thursday night. She says that she doesn't even remember it and that her friends told her about it in the morning. She feels terrible and has apologized.

 

I don't know what to do.... I am so hurt and I just feel sad. We have an amazing relationship, and something like this has never happened before. I don't really want to break up with her over this, but I am so mad and confussed and don't know what to do.

 

Any advice would really help.

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Darkangelism

Darkangelism

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I think she made a real mistake and didnt mean to do it, i dont think it is worth breaking up over.

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UCFKevin

UCFKevin

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That REALLY sucks, man, big time. But like you said, you don't want to break up with her, so don't break up with her.

 

She made a mistake. Granted, being drunk is a very weak and cliched excuse/reason, but regardless, if she feels horrible about it, then forgive her.

 

Just don't hold it over her head, okay? Don't make her feel any worse than she does. Take some time off if you need to, to get over this and deal with it.

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ldybg51

ldybg51

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Wow. She told you. She came clean herself. Thats a big thing. Getting drunk is no excuse because it still is what it is. But, Ahhheemmmm, Being drunk, and not being used to it can cause you to do things that you would not eveeerrrrr do. BUT it can also cause you to do things you would do and just havent had the nerve to do. But if she came clean and said she was sorry and is showing that she is sorry, then you maybe should try to forgive her if you dont want to be without her. It will take time and you will think about it and may even picture it, but it goes away. Trust me I know. The hurt lessens and then eventually the trust comes back. Not easily, and maybe takes year or more but it does. If you love her and you really believe she loves you then give her another chance.

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i love him but....

i love him but....

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Originally posted by charlie21

My girlfriend of almost 2 years was out of town for her friends bachelorette party this weekend. My girlfriend doesn't normally drink. She apparently got really really drunk and ended up kissing a guy at the bar thursday night. She says that she doesn't even remember it and that her friends told her about it in the morning. She feels terrible and has apologized.

 

I don't know what to do.... I am so hurt and I just feel sad. We have an amazing relationship, and something like this has never happened before. I don't really want to break up with her over this, but I am so mad and confussed and don't know what to do.

 

Any advice would really help.

 

well with her telling you straight out that she is sorry and that it hapend was the right thing to do and if you have such a wonderful relation ship there is no reason to leave her....... my bf does stupid **** all the ****in time he gets drunk he got drunk cpl days ago and his friends surprised him with a hooker . when he was drunk and he end up letting her give him head. kinda pissed me off. but i know we can work from it...... my bf is muslim. im american. and the way relation ships here work are different from how muslims relationships are they belive in having a love and also having many mistresses... but trust me give her another chance.... i love my boy friend to death. he left me for his gf that was b4 me . and they broke up 2 months later ....and a week afte we started going back out. we have been dating again for about a month now.... and through the whole thing from when we were just friends to when we were a cpl to when he broke my heart and was with the other girl i was still with him....and now that we r togethr agin im still with him just as strong..... b-cuz no matter what he does i will always love him......and i will be there for him when he makes his mistakes and his decisions.... so if you love this girl forgive her. trust me it will be the best thing you could ever do....

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Pyrannaste

Pyrannaste

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No wonder you are upset -who wouldn't?- but give her a second chance. :) she sounds like a really good person and a wonderful fiancee.

She probably didn't mean to do it, and she would have never dreamt of such a thing had she been sober. She probably didn't even mean to get drunk that evening. when you are not used to drinking a few glasses can be enough to get *really*drunk. It was a mistake. I'd bet 100 to 1 she didn't enjoy kissing the guy and didn't care one bit about him, it's just the silly kind of thing that can happen when you are drunk.

She told you about it, and she is feeling awful. You can bet she'll be very careful not to touch alcool next time she's out with her friends. :)

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amerikajin

amerikajin

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>>>We have an amazing relationship, and something like this has never happened before. I don't really want to break up with her over this, but I am so mad and confussed and don't know what to do. <<<

 

Rationally, she deserves another chance. She was drunk. It was a mistake. She was forthright and told you about it.

 

But there's the reality. It may not be the same ever again. I'd like to join the chorus and say "just give her another chance," but it's easier said than done. That's something you'll just have to sense for yourself. That's the really bad part about cheating - even when you come clean, it still makes you look dirty. The best way not to suffer from the consequences of cheating is...not to do it in the first place.

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Bronzepen

Bronzepen

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She admitted it to you. That show's honesty on her part.

 

Hopefully this is a learning experience for her. Now she knows that she will need to curb her drinking in the future, since she's proven she has no control when she drinks too much.

 

Good luck.

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Fedup&givingup

Fedup&givingup

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Although I can understand your hurt in this situation, this seems to be an isolated incident...both the drinking accompanied with kissing the stranger.

 

My first time with alcohol put me in a fairly compromising position :cool: , but I learned my lesson from that point on.

 

She told you about this too, and that's a sign of honesty on her behalf. It was a kiss, and be grateful that's all it was. :)

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  • 1 year later...
sparticuss

sparticuss

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That REALLY sucks, man, big time. But like you said, you don't want to break up with her, so don't break up with her.

 

She made a mistake. Granted, being drunk is a very weak and cliched excuse/reason, but regardless, if she feels horrible about it, then forgive her.

 

Just don't hold it over her head, okay? Don't make her feel any worse than she does. Take some time off if you need to, to get over this and deal with it.

 

 

You said your relationship was fabulous. That takes priority ove EVERYTHING else . Same as a dud relationship is also the major reason to split.

 

It's just my wierd sense of humour but I would hold one thing over her. Tell her that you want a thousand times as many kisses as the other guy got, and a thousand times as good. (Not in the one half hour of course)

I'm figuring that something like that will convince both of you how much she really loves you.:D

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