‘Not dateable’ woman wants FWB, I want a relationship

[nezbo]

‘Not dateable’ woman wants FWB, I want a relationship

 

 

**To get a better idea of her character and the things that have transpired so far you can read my previous thread (same saga) http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t266957/ **

 

Heres a shorter summary of what has happened so far, and the story continued.

 

I've worked with her for 2 years. She broke up with her cheating fiancé 4 months ago. We had been getting quite close, emailing constantly at work and after work, hanging out quite a bit.

I'm on the verge of 'in love' with this girl, shes amazing. I asked her on a date a month ago, she said no and that shes 'not dateable right now' because of the break up with her cheating partner of 7years.

 

So immediately after that I didn’t continue to try and pursue her. I backed off from her.

 

Then the next thing that happens, she came to a gig I was playing. I made a point of not giving her as much attention as I really would’ve liked to (i.e. I was trying to treat her equally like other friends).

 

I didn’t think much of it, but she got drunk and later that night txtd me ‘You didn’t talk to me all night, I don’t know what I did to deserve that but I will never forgive it’, to which I replied something like ‘really? Im so sorry, I thought I was just acting like a friend, and didn’t think you would care’, to which she replied ‘**** off’. Clearly emotional stuff.

 

I rang her immediately and rushed back to meet her and we had a beautiful moment with her apologizing, and hugging me heeeaps and giving me little kisses. Was a really close bonding moment and changed my perception from thinking I don’t have a chance to thinking she feels something for me.

 

Next time I talked to her I probed her a bit saying, “that was more than ‘friend’ moment”. She admitted shes always had a crush on me.. but said she needs to be single at the moment and ‘find herself’ and doesn’t want to 'end up in a situation where one or both of us sees it as a relationship' (her words) but has kinda imagined us having a 'love-affair' (again her words).

 

I didn’t probe her any further. Since then we've hung out every weekend, started making out a lot (even at work a couple of times). She keeps saying I’m a great kisser=)

 

We keep making plans for future outings (movies, dinner, gigs) often with her initiating/suggesting it. And we are even going 400 miles away together to a concert for a weekend in May (we have booked flights & concert tickets already).

 

Since we started been becoming really close and affectionate I'd been avoiding bringing up our 'status'… Until last night.

 

Last night, while chatting online,t the topic of our 'status' came up. She suggested a day that we should go and see a movie... said we should also do dinner.. and she then joked that of course it would be a 'non-date' dinner. So we started talking about the 'date' and 'relationship' thing.

 

She says she loves spending time with me, talking to me me, loves being affectionate and kissing me. But reiterated that she doesn’t want to 'end up in a situation where one or both of us sees it as a relationship'. She said she views our thing as a ‘friends with benefits’ thing.

 

I asked (just hypothetically) if she would be hurt if I put an end to our 'thing' and started dating someone else. She indicated she would miss all of the above, and feel a bit sad, but wouldn’t be terribly cut up about it. I guess that really says it all... she doesn’t really have that kind of emotional attachment to me. But she does seem very concerned that she might lose me as a friend if something like that happened (on either of our parts).

 

 

She asked me how I would react if she ended our 'thing'. I told her I would probably go into a deep depression. After I told her that, she almost ended it then and there, she said 'things have gone too far if you would go into a depression, I told you I didnt want a situation where one or both of us sees it as a relationship'.

 

She didn’t end it,

She followed up by asking if I think that us ‘sleeping together’ (we haven’t yet, and hadn’t talked about it at all until this) would make me feel even more attached to her and more like a relationship. I’m guessing she asked that because she wants to, but doesn’t want to make me get even more emotionally involved. I said ‘no’ which I think is the first lie I’ve ever said to her. I said I want to sleep with her, and asked if she wants to and she said ‘I think so’ (non-commital as always), but I felt really good about her saying she thinks she wants to sleep with me. Strangely we ended this late night discussion on a good note. She ended by re-confirming our movie and dinner outing, ‘followed by lots of kisses’.

 

I know I'm very special to her, she keeps saying that. There are very few people in her life that she regards as special, and I am one of them. I know we have an amazing connection, I've only felt something like this with one other person in my life (and I've had 3 long term relationships that have lasted over a year).

 

 

I just can’t grasp this concept.

She loves spending time with me

She loves being affectionate with me and kissing me

She regards me as very special (the most special male person in her life, I believe)

But she doesn’t want a relationship.

To me all of that that IS a relationship, other than the fact we aren’t considered an item by our friends,family and colleagues (they have no idea what we have been up to).

 

I said to her “well what is the difference between what we are doing now and a relationship? I feel closer to you that I have felt in certain other relationships” – and her answer was basically the difference is that our ‘thing’ will have to come to an end at some point. I wonder why (but didn’t ask) why she would decide its temporary when we have such a great time and connect on so many levels. I

Is it because her emotions are so damaged that she just cant commit to anything? Or perhaps there are things about me that she sees as not fit for a long term partner for her? I wonder… if we continue to get be close and enjoy each others company so much…. What will be the reason it ends?

 

After all that serious talk last night (and her almost ending it right there and then!)

 

I don’t quite understand how we could be sharing this experience together without her forming the same kind of emotional attachment to me that I have to her. But then again think back to the night she txtd me ‘**** off’ and wonder what that means, because that was clearly emotion directed at me, so I don’t know what to make of that now.

 

Is she just too emotionally crippled from her break-up to feel any emotional attachment to me?

 

I cannot relate to that at all and am struggling to understand. I pretty much wear my heart on my sleeve with romance, she is very guarded with her inner feelings and takes probing, but still keeps a lot to herself I think.

 

Is there anyone who has felt like this (I mean like she feels) in the past and can give me any insight into what might be going on in her head/heart?

 

I know I’d rather have this ‘thing’ with her than just friendship or nothing at all. I don’t really feel distressed or upset about the situation (right now anyway), and the fact that she is obviously attracted to me in many ways is really good for my confidence and self-esteem. Just that she wants to spend a lot of time with me, kiss me (and now wants to sleep with me) makes me feel really good in general. But I definitely want a relationship with her.

 

I think I will continue with this ‘thing’ with her. But I just want to know where my head should be at. i.e. should I be hopeful that she will grow an emotional attachment to me at some point and decide she actually decide that she doesn’t want to end. Of course that is what I want and hope for, but does it sound likely?

 

I would very much appreciate any opinions for women who have felt like she is currently acting.

I would also appreciate suggestions from anyone who’s been in a similar position to mine and had an outcome. Or any opinions/suggestions at all from an outsiders perspective.

Her behaviour is so far from the way I function emotionally so I cant understand what is really going on for her or try and predict what might transpire in the future.

Edited March 31, 2011 by nezbo

[Trovador]

Not much to say about your story, but I am living something similar... "Love without commitment" I'd call it... Actually I don't have now the benefits thing but all the rest applies to me (or to her, my friend)... for all purposes is like she is crazy about me but when confronted to take a decision she balks the issue all the time... we also are coworkers and there, in the office, as well as most areas in her life, I am the most important man in her life, if not the only one, but she doesn't want something more substantial... what the heck, you know very well how it is...

 

So, you could count your blessings, go for the whole package, bid your time or you could choose to go away from her... I decided the latter option but she always contacts me again and you know how hard is to keep NC in the workplace...

 

I also don't know why they don't let us go or go all the way with us... I don't know why they love us... without a commitment... maybe a lady could help us to understand this odd relationships...

[betterdeal]

If you're enjoying what you're doing currently with each other, what does it matter what label you give it?

[nezbo]

If you're enjoying what you're doing currently with each other, what does it matter what label you give it?

 

Whats upsetting isnt the lack of a label, but being told that it is going to end at some point.

[MistaDynamic]

It's obvious she doesn't want commitment with you. Why? Who cares you can't change her mind. She has told you but you refuse to hear it she likes the idea of your time coming to end. She doesn't want you. She likes the attention and sex,presumably, but doesn't want you. There are certain women who don't like idea of a commitment. They feel this isn't something they want in life. Deal with it.

 

Since you have such strong emotions for this woman I think the best advice is to end it and move on. You're only setting yourself up to be hurt more in future if you don't. Chances are in the future you're going to get blindsided....one day she will tell you she has boyfriend and wants to end it with you. Now how betrayed will you feel then? She has told you repeatedly she doesn't want relationship and now she has one? Imagine that!! It will happen.....trust me.

[Trovador]

First, this kind of girls appear to want the guy, otherwise, they'd have ended the thing by now...

 

Second, most times they don't listen when the guy breaks the friendship...

 

My female friend, for example, always "came back" after a couple of days (sometimes after a couple of hours) saying she can't make it without me, blah, blah, blah... yet, when I ask her where am I standing concerning her, she always says "why must this relationship have a name?; just let us accept we can't live without each other..." and more blah, blah, blah...

 

And just to soothe my angst, she makes it out with me... next day, we are the usual "just best friends" again... crazy, isn't it?

[nezbo]

well i first yours was a girls opinion because of your avatar, but your name starting with 'mister' suggests otherwise. but anyway... i might be able to detach from her emotionally and get into the right mindstate to just enjoy some great company + sex, but looking at other girls as potential love interest again and create a sticky situation if things change in the future. tbh i dont think you read my post thoroughly enough,.. or your a cynic! thanks for the input anyway=). still need a female perspective!

[Duckduckgoose]

Sounds like you're the "rebound" man. Sorry.

 

I am coming off a divorce, and would consider myself too "emotionally crippled" to date right now. In fact, it's such a mess in my head right now that I don't want to be intimate with a man either... no matter how hot and bothered he gets me.

 

This girl... is having her cake and eating it too. She doesn't want a relationship because she just got burned... but she wants all the physical stuff that goes with a relationship and she found someone willing to do that with her.

 

Only you want a relationship...

 

So what is going to happen when her rebound is over? Are you cool that she's going to find someone else to date? Are you cool that she might be doing this same thing to a few other guys right now?

 

Since you are not in a relationship with her she does not really have to tell you anything about what she's thinking/doing with other guys. Its not your business. You can play this same game... and a game it is... that no one will win.

 

Or you can cut **** off completely with her, you are not her toy. Once you start getting feelings it's a whole new box of roaches. She's made it clear she don't want a relationship. That's fine. She can't have her cake and eat it too then.

 

That's just my opinion. She's using you.

[Andy_K]

If you have sex with her often enough WITHOUT any relationship pressure, she'll probably want more than FWB sooner or later.

 

However, there's a very good chance that won't happen in this case because she's able to read your 'wanting more' from miles away, and sensing that will be enough to stop her getting attached.

[betterdeal]

Whats upsetting isnt the lack of a label, but being told that it is going to end at some point.

 

She's been very honest and upfront with you, which is valuable, even if you're frustrated by it. But just as you cannot change her mind, she can't predict the future. I think you're falling too fast, and she's not keen on that. If you step back a bit and think a bit more rationally, it will feel better for you and probably her too.

 

She has issues to resolve, as she has said, but I think you do too. You're enjoying the intimacy, but you're wanting more than that. What is it you want? She cannot give you a cast iron guarantee of long term devotion at such an early stage. The only person who you can guarantee will be there for you in 1, 5, 20 years time is you.

 

What other interests do you have other than her? Any hobbies, sports, pastimes? I'm going to guess your weekly dairy is quite empty save going to work, see her, watch TV, sleep. Invest some of your passion, emotion in other things that you enjoy or have always thought, "I really should do that sometime". Well, now's the time.

 

You can respect her feelings and respect your own too, by giving her some space and spreading your bets a bit. Things don't work out with her? You have more time to do some more yoga / fishing / rock climbing / writing / insert hobby here. Things are bobbling along quite nicely with her? Great! In a month or two, maybe suggest a joint activity - like a holiday together.

 

The less pressure you put on you and her, the better things will be whatever the outcome.

[nezbo]

She's been very honest and upfront with you, which is valuable, even if you're frustrated by it. But just as you cannot change her mind, she can't predict the future. I think you're falling too fast, and she's not keen on that. If you step back a bit and think a bit more rationally, it will feel better for you and probably her too.

 

She has issues to resolve, as she has said, but I think you do too. You're enjoying the intimacy, but you're wanting more than that. What is it you want? She cannot give you a cast iron guarantee of long term devotion at such an early stage. The only person who you can guarantee will be there for you in 1, 5, 20 years time is you.

 

What other interests do you have other than her? Any hobbies, sports, pastimes? I'm going to guess your weekly dairy is quite empty save going to work, see her, watch TV, sleep. Invest some of your passion, emotion in other things that you enjoy or have always thought, "I really should do that sometime". Well, now's the time.

 

You can respect her feelings and respect your own too, by giving her some space and spreading your bets a bit. Things don't work out with her? You have more time to do some more yoga / fishing / rock climbing / writing / insert hobby here. Things are bobbling along quite nicely with her? Great! In a month or two, maybe suggest a joint activity - like a holiday together.

 

The less pressure you put on you and her, the better things will be whatever the outcome.

 

Thanks! that first half is very sensible and a nice peice of advice. I'm pretty sure think I can do that too... and feel like I've been doing that as of the last few days anyway. I kinda wish the status thing hadnt come up actually, but at least I know where I stand.. for now.

 

As for hobbies/empty calendar.. I'm quite the opposite my friend! I have a lot of passion for a lot of things. Mainly music - Pretty much every day I go straight to my jamspace from work and play drums for 3 hours, dont get home til 9pm. I'm in 3 different bands. At the moment I'm writing a blog for a music website, was meant to be doing some graphic design work for a friend this week but had to put it off because I'm too busy right now. she invited me somewhere tomorrow (saturday) but I had to decline because I'm moving. So I have plenty to distract myself with, and I do. Shes an insomniac... so we do a lot of our chatting late at night, or at work.

[betterdeal]

Excellent! You sound like you're all set for whatever the future turns out to be.

 

If you've ever danced with someone (no, not moshed, danced) you'll know you can take the lead but you cannot push. That's relationships.

[SummersEve]

Nezbo, I think you should cut it all off with her right away and move on.

 

She's coming off a break up yes, but she also is not that into you. And that won't change. She has told you as much, you need to listen to that and not read in anything else.

 

The texting thing was drunken behavior, it means nothing. Saying how very much she would miss your friendship, means nothing. Once either finds a steady, it usually ends. Do not read a lot into any other words when underneath all of them she has given you the real message, "You are not the one."

 

She wants somebody to hang out with for awhile, to nurse her back to single normalcy, at which time she will move on to someone she is interested in for more and you will be left behind, more attached than ever. I was wondering who was paying for these dinners and this long distance trip, also?

 

Being her temporary buddy, f- or platonic, will never satisfy you, you are falling in love. The two don't mix. JMHO and good luck.

[betterdeal]

Nezbo, I think you should cut it all off with her right away and move on.

 

She's coming off a break up yes, but she also is not that into you. And that won't change. She has told you as much, you need to listen to that and not read in anything else.

 

The texting thing was drunken behavior, it means nothing. Saying how very much she would miss your friendship, means nothing. Once either finds a steady, it usually ends. Do not read a lot into any other words when underneath all of them she has given you the real message, "You are not the one."

 

She wants somebody to hang out with for awhile, to nurse her back to single normalcy, at which time she will move on to someone she is interested in for more and you will be left behind, more attached than ever. I was wondering who was paying for these dinners and this long distance trip, also?

 

Being her temporary buddy, f- or platonic, will never satisfy you, you are falling in love. The two don't mix. JMHO and good luck.

 

My experience tells me otherwise. Being open minded and mindful is the way to go.

[nezbo]

Nezbo, I think you should cut it all off with her right away and move on.

 

She's coming off a break up yes, but she also is not that into you. And that won't change. She has told you as much, you need to listen to that and not read in anything else.

 

The texting thing was drunken behavior, it means nothing. Saying how very much she would miss your friendship, means nothing. Once either finds a steady, it usually ends. Do not read a lot into any other words when underneath all of them she has given you the real message, "You are not the one."

 

She wants somebody to hang out with for awhile, to nurse her back to single normalcy, at which time she will move on to someone she is interested in for more and you will be left behind, more attached than ever. I was wondering who was paying for these dinners and this long distance trip, also?

 

Being her temporary buddy, f- or platonic, will never satisfy you, you are falling in love. The two don't mix. JMHO and good luck.

 

I have gotten the hang of some of the LS acronyms.. but JMHO? is there a thread somewhere that explains them all? haha.

 

But anyway, I'm already feeling myself backing away from her emotionally and feeling okay about it. So if you are right, I think I can accept what she wants, appreciate the sex that we hopefully soon. I do feel strongly about her, but stable and optimistic enough about the future to be able to move on if I have to. And controlled enough to not let myself get any more attached. But then again I do fluctuate sometimes.

 

But yeah, I'm willing to go for the ride either way. She makes me feel confident and good about myself... even if she doesnt see me as 'relationship material' for her.

 

We have pretty much gone dutch on drinks and food on all our outings.. I pay for this, you pay for that, kinda thing. its pretty even

 

The concert we are going to is a musician shes into, and im not really into (Gary Numan), she really wanted to go to but couldnt find anyone, I told I'd go with her but wont really be in the financial position to buy a ticket for about a month, she wanted to book it asap as to not miss out, so she actually payed for everything with the intention of my paying her back.

[betterdeal]

Sounds great. Fun, sex, music. What am I missing here?

[radiodarcy]

Sounds like you're the "rebound" man. Sorry.

 

I am coming off a divorce, and would consider myself too "emotionally crippled" to date right now. In fact, it's such a mess in my head right now that I don't want to be intimate with a man either... no matter how hot and bothered he gets me.

 

This girl... is having her cake and eating it too. She doesn't want a relationship because she just got burned... but she wants all the physical stuff that goes with a relationship and she found someone willing to do that with her.

 

Only you want a relationship...

 

So what is going to happen when her rebound is over? Are you cool that she's going to find someone else to date? Are you cool that she might be doing this same thing to a few other guys right now?

 

Since you are not in a relationship with her she does not really have to tell you anything about what she's thinking/doing with other guys. Its not your business. You can play this same game... and a game it is... that no one will win.

 

Or you can cut **** off completely with her, you are not her toy. Once you start getting feelings it's a whole new box of roaches. She's made it clear she don't want a relationship. That's fine. She can't have her cake and eat it too then.

 

That's just my opinion. She's using you.

 

i honestly don't think this is a gender-specific thing. speaking as a girl and someone who has been in the same boat as you (i fell for him and wanted a relationship, he didnt) i see no difference between my situation (as duckduckgoose pointed out above) and yours. if you're ok with just the physical part and can separate it out from the feelings that you have -- then by all means - - more power to you.

 

but if not -- you're better off cutting your losses and saving yourself a lot of pain. i think duckduckgoose is right, she's just using you to build up her self-esteem and have a little fun; to forget about her break up. to her credit though, she's letting you know that up front. now it's up to you to decide if you can handle it.

 

not to toot my own horn, but having been used as a rebound myself i could easily do the same thing to someone else but i won't because i know how it feels. but i guess if people are up front about it then it's up to the rebound if they want to take their chances. just remember - - you've been warned...

[nezbo]

I really think that this girl is totally confused. She kisses you...why? Because she felt like she "had to", when it came time to get down to it..

 

She is still full of pent up feelings with the ex...and he cheated on her. She is using you to soothe her hurt.

 

She is definitely attracted to you but she is not a whole person right now, Friend.

 

She wants love, but she was made to feel like a piece of a** and no more from her cheating ex.

 

So, when you were there, it boosted her confidence. She thinks you are attractive enough to soothe her damaged heart--and even cares for you enough..that is why she keeps refraining...

 

So, again---this screams of rebound..

 

My question is can a rebound work? I have not the slightest clue.

 

but, I thought I would ask the question that needs to be asked most here.

 

I know you like her a lot--and if you could make it work as much as you wish to--is there a way to overcome her fears, doubts, hurt so she can LOVE again?

 

She has been embarrassed--no humiliated by a man...it will take much nurturing for her to feel like she can be loved...

 

what a difficult situation...

 

sorry I could not offer more help.

 

I hope we hear a success story.

 

the best to you both~

 

Yeah people keep saying 'rebound' I really dont give much notice to terms like 'rebound' anyway, its never quite as simple as that. What if we really are right for each other too?

 

Personality wise we match and compliment each other perfectly (it really is blidingly obvious when we're together. She loves spending a lot of time with me, being best friends, being intimate and kissing and now wants sex...

 

The fact she is emotionally broken and confused is the thing I keep coming back to, does she actually KNOW that she wouldnt want to be in a relationship with my once shes over the cheating/breakup? or is she just playing it very safe so she doesnt end up making a commitment to anything before shes emotionally ready to make that kind of decision?

 

I would understand, but be a little bit sad, if she doesnt see me as long term relationship material because of the following reasons: I'm younger than her, I earn less money than her and am not currently on a well-defined career path (although I do have a lot of things going for me), I'm in the heavy metal scene, she is very conservative.

[nezbo]

And when you are, just make yourself undateabel to HER.

 

Have dates with girls that you are just going on a date with and so are they, but there is no chemistry...just a date, you know...nothing serious.

 

Make sure they are nice, sweet and pretty, fun and exciting.

 

(This is if you still want her and no one else...and the girl you are dating just wants a date).

 

She will start to come around..Because from your other post, combined with this one--she wanted to move in with you (and joked about same room)..

 

she is just not ready..so don't be ready either...

 

make her want you bad...because you are not available..but you are single.

 

it would drive me insane...as a woman and I would WANT YOU BAD.

 

good luck

 

I will do that I am already adapting my mindset and emotions to match where she is at, so I can be carefree and have fun with her without getting 'heavy' until (if ever) she is ready.

 

Even though I will always want more with this wonderful lady, I will just take it easy and make sure I'm not obsessing over her or acting like I NEEEED her.

 

thanks a lot

[nezbo]

Well we still havent had sex, but last night I stayed at her place and cuddled her to sleep all night, it was beautiful.. very close.

We were kinda almost talking about her feelings/breakup/emotional state/our status, and she started crying in my arms, I just held her really close and comforted her.

 

It just feels so natural and perfect, theres never any awkward or un-natural moments. I kinda attempted to initiate sex, but she had her period. The situtaion was kinda funny and cute somehow rather than awkward. Everything just works with us.

 

In a really intimate moment cuddling I said to her 'How can I find someone exactly like you who actually wants to be with me?', she said 'of couse you will, easily someone better and more pretty than me'. I told her that our friendship is so so important to me, but I dont think I'll ever stop wanting to be with her.

 

**** I love her, I want her so much. more than I've ever wanted anyone.

 

(weird post sorry)

[love is dangerous]

Well we still havent had sex, but last night I stayed at her place and cuddled her to sleep all night, it was beautiful.. very close.

We were kinda almost talking about her feelings/breakup/emotional state/our status, and she started crying in my arms, I just held her really close and comforted her.

 

It just feels so natural and perfect, theres never any awkward or un-natural moments. I kinda attempted to initiate sex, but she had her period. The situtaion was kinda funny and cute somehow rather than awkward. Everything just works with us.

 

In a really intimate moment cuddling I said to her 'How can I find someone exactly like you who actually wants to be with me?', she said 'of couse you will, easily someone better and more pretty than me'. I told her that our friendship is so so important to me, but I dont think I'll ever stop wanting to be with her.

 

**** I love her, I want her so much. more than I've ever wanted anyone.

 

(weird post sorry)

hey i was exactly like that girl , exactly, i kept him around as a friend for a whole year using him cause i knew he loved me,and would do anything for me, we were like in a relationship even went on holiday together but he was still a 'friend' . the minute he went with another girl , i desperately wanted him but it was to late. the more your saying you want her and am showing her you will always be there she wont commit . the minute you move on she will desperately want you . for some reason in her mind because you want her so much she doesnt feel any desire for you as she already has you and wants to explore other options , its a childish mentality but she's not ready to settle down , and you feel more desire for her because you havent got her , your wanting what you havent got .

[east coast edward]

If you have sex with her often enough WITHOUT any relationship pressure, she'll probably want more than FWB sooner or later.

 

However, there's a very good chance that won't happen in this case because she's able to read your 'wanting more' from miles away, and sensing that will be enough to stop her getting attached.

 

 

I have to agree with Andy's perspective here. I'm in a similar position right now, and am (have) blowing it by being too committed. She's agreed that we are "dating" , but not in a relationship. Naturally I blow it by being uncool about thins like her breaking arrangements etc.

 

You just have to chill and absorb this stuff. Honestly, if she wants to sleep with you, then save all the emotion for passionate love making, if anything is going to solidify a relationship this is.

[nezbo]

You just have to chill and absorb this stuff. Honestly, if she wants to sleep with you, then save all the emotion for passionate love making, if anything is going to solidify a relationship this is.

 

Well tomorrow she is coming over to my place (for the first time) to watch movies and stay over, so fingers crossed some passionate love making happens, I'm pretty sure it will.... I wonder what effect it will have on her/us.

 

Thanks=D wish me luck

[genermarie]

Well tomorrow she is coming over to my place (for the first time) to watch movies and stay over, so fingers crossed some passionate love making happens, I'm pretty sure it will.... I wonder what effect it will have on her/us.

 

Thanks=D wish me luck

 

 

 

Nezbo, i wish you luck. I`m sure you will make a success.

[nezbo]

Here is what happens a couple of hours ago. She txt me: "I think I've changed my mind about coming around tomorrow, I'm sorry! but you havent done anything to make me feel like you really want me to".

 

Hehe this woman makes me laugh, I've been playing it cool this week at work with her and trying not to act like I'm obsessed and thinking about her constantly (which I am). So we had been a little bit distant mostly this week, I just wasnt initiating things (I'm usually the one who does) and she wasnt either.

 

 

So after the txt I ring her and just rant at her about how much I have been looking forward to tomorrow night, how much I adore her and think about her constantly, and how I have been just trying to back off and give her space because I dont want to come across too needy. She sounded quite sad, maybe was crying a bit, maybe not.

 

So after that we chatted online a bit and we explain ourselves to one another, she said she was having a bad day today and really needed me but I wasnt there for her, I told her I really want to be there for her and she should just come to me when she needs me... and we talked in that vein for about 30mins. SO yes, we got back to being happy and laughing and saying nice things to/about each other and, she changed her mind back, she is definitely coming over tomorrow, and now we are much closer again.

 

This all makes me adore her even more.