Angie Posted August 20, 2000 Share Posted August 20, 2000 I have been living with my boyfriend X for almost three long years now. We have a beautiful daughter together whom we both love very much. The problem with this scenerio is that I am not in love with him, and I don't think I ever have been. I'm not sure why, but I stay with him. X and I on a daily basis fight, and some of our fights have gotten very violent- both physically and verbally. Over the years, the rough paths we've both been down have not been easy to forget, and although I am a very forgiving person, I can't forgive him for all he's put me through. I'm not sure why, but X is in love with me almost to the point of obsession. The more I pull away, the tighter he clings. I have put him through a lot of stuff too, and I can't understand why he doesn't just walk away. I would, but I just can't seem to gather the strength. I'm tierd of talking with my friends because I'm ashamed of myself for not having already left. I'm scared because I'm a student and don't take in that much money from student loans, X and I have some debt together, plus I would have to buy all new furniture etc. I'm scared of being alone, and having to raise our daughter mostly by myself. Even though I'm scared of a lot of things, I'm more scared at the rate I'm going- I'm not happy with X, and I am frequently in a bad mood. I'm getting more and more depressed. I don't understand it- with all these negative factors, why can't I just summon up the strength to leave him? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 20, 2000 Share Posted August 20, 2000 We are often reluctant to leave a known quantity for something that is unknown. You have made the decision to leave and you must proceed. Your fear about the future is completely normal but human beings are very resilient and you will be able to make it in your new circumstances. You can bet things won't be a fraction as bad as you anticipate. Staying in an unhappy, depressing environment because of fear or for any other reason is simply crazy. Get the support of friends, relatives and professionals...move away from this guy...and get on with your life. You only have ONE life to live and it sounds like the one you're living at the moment is not healthy at all. Link to post Share on other sites
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