decided to consolidate my problems into one thread, its like a midlife crisis expt...

[Darkangelism]

Im not anywhere near the middle of my life.

 

 

ok, lately i have been having issues, not seeing a future for myself, making bad decisions about girls, not being able to decide whether or not i want a relationship at all. low confidence, depression, the whole shabang. The whole gropping thread, i just decided to move that whole thing to my own thread.

[carla]

Oh dark I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I was just joking. My sorry if I hurt your feelings. Do go looking for love. It will sneak up on you when you least expect it. If you are to eager to find love this shows in your actions and people pick up on that. You have to enjoy life for yourself. If you don't love yourself how will anyone ever love you? When you come across as a fun loving outgoing person people see that and want to be around you. That's when love will be tapping you on the shoulder and didn't even know it was there.

 

If you want advise on approaching girls just ask. But I think you need to work on your self confidence first. Once your self assured then the girls will be they.

[UCFKevin]

Honestly, I really hate to trivialize this, but if your main problem in life is women...give me your life.

[Darkangelism]

Originally posted by UCFKevin

Honestly, I really hate to trivialize this, but if your main problem in life is women...give me your life.

 

 

well actually yeah thats pretty much it, i do well with school, i have friends, i am skills, im a nice guy, girls are pretty much it.

 

 

Carla, i know you were joking, it wasnt your fault, i was like this b4 you said anything, i talked with a pysch student today.

[yes]

well, what exactly is the problem w/ girls? just date around for now. do you have trouble getting dates? do you even try?

 

-yes

[Darkangelism]

I go on dates occssionaly, but it isnt easy for me to get them. I kinda try, i go through the morions at least finding a girl i lke talk to her, ask her out get rejected, 7 in 6 months. But i might be sabotaging myself.

[Fedup&givingup]

You are really getting yourself down about all this. I understand that relationships at this time of your life are really important. I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with this.

 

I think you need to focus on your strengths though, for the time being. If you are doing well in school (which is very important), then go with that for now. I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's actually a good thing. You are better off for doing well in school than doing well with girls.

 

You come across as a great guy, and you do not seem like you are lacking with your social skills.

[Darkangelism]

i am a lot more shy irl.

[Fedup&givingup]

Originally posted by Darkangelism

i am a lot more shy irl.

 

Then that is your barrier.

[Tony T]

There is a very good chance that you are right now looking directly at what could be at the root of your problem. Depression has been found to be a biproduct of lengthy stays in front of the computer. Go here and scan down to the paragraphs on depression and electromagnetic radiation: http://www.co.broward.fl.us/mei00274.htm

 

In other words, it might be an excellent idea for you to consider...at your very young age...to have much more of a life than sitting in front of your computer for hours at a time and posting one-liners to most every thread on LoveShack. Get more involved with groups of friends, get out and exercise...get fresh air...play more. You won't get a lot of socialization limiting yourself to reading of other people's problems all day.

 

These years of going to school and having many ladies around are your golden years of opportunity for socializing and finding things that make you happy. My bet is if you restrict your recreational computer use to one hour a day and get away other times and sink your teeth into the meat of life you will be a much happier man.

[carla]

I think alot of us are probably more shy IRL. It's easy to be open and honest with a monitor b/c if it does talk back you can just hit the X.

[Fedup&givingup]

Geez, Tony. That must be what's wrong with a vast majority of people that post here!

[Darkangelism]

I do spend time with friends, its ot like i sit here in a room by myself on th computer all day, i have two roomates and at least 2 or 3 other people ar always here, i see my other friends as often as scheduales allow.

[Tony T]

I still think you need to get out of that room with your two buddies and familiarize yourself with the rest of the world. Your symptoms are very indicative of depression of some form. You seem to be resistant to making changes in your life but that's the ONLY way you'll get to the root of your issues now...changing things about your life, broadening your horizons.

 

Unless you are carrying a laptop with you to the parks, concerts, theatres, buses, trains, etc., etc. to answer LoveShack posts, you are spending way too much time on your computer for someone your age...even if you're buddies are right there. Perhaps they are dragging you down. H ell, you usually answer my posts before I can even edit a few typos. There are only so many one liners you can exchange in a room with two other guys. Get them to go out with you and cut loose a little bit on a regular basis. Start coming home from school via Milwaukee; start feeding the animals in the Philadelphia Zoo; join the volunteers who give tours at Cape Canaveral. Get some things going in your life that are different from what you are doing now and your entire life will turn around.

 

Sitting here all night and defending your lifestyle and trying to convince yourself everything is alright when you've already said it isn't working for you won't get you the happiness you deserve.

[Darkangelism]

 

 

fine, i will leave then.

[Fedup&givingup]

Originally posted by Darkangelism

 

 

fine, i will leave then.

 

If you leave, DA, don't do it on someone else's accord or suggestion

[Tony T]

I don't know where you're going but if you're going to get your attention away from other people's problems and onto making yourself happy, I'll pay your cab fare!!!

[hasslichmann]

well peewee, i might be new, but it looks to me like you told him to leave the site, i should report you to the mods.

[Tony T]

I haven't told him to leave the site, I simply told him he needed to reduce his time on the computer and get more things going in his life. Initially, he will be very resistant to my suggestions as he has shown. Ultimately, he can make his own decisions. He can remain in the same situation he described in his original post in this thread or he can take steps to broaden his life and enrich it. He asked for advice and input and I think I have given him some good stuff to consider. He has a free will, he's an adult, and he can decide to take my advice to tell me to shove it. Frankly, I think his reaction to my posts is one of having had a nerve struck. I don't know. Perhaps its a bit of dissonance. It's very hard to make changes when you're comfortable with the status quo.

 

P.S. I am a mod and am happy to delete myself when I break the rules.

[Darkangelism]

i do not think i spend to much time on the site, i like helping people, makes me feel better about myself.

 

 

I was annoyed by ur response, i am under a lot of stress, but you were being honest and i cant let someranndom guy on the internet mess with me.

 

 

I signed out right after my last post, but my leaving last what 50 mins.

[moimeme]

I suppose there's not much you really could be doing at 1230 AM EST anyway! Except maybe turn your clocks ahead...

[Darkangelism]

Actually its 1:30 est, and i should go to bed soon, i am supposed to be an extra in a small time film through a friends friend tomorrow.

 

oh and i have been on the site since 1pm, so about 12 hrs, but i did laundry, watched a few movies and basketball games in that time frame also.

[moimeme]

Oops, right. Don't forget to turn your clock or you may not show up at the set on time.

[Tony T]

If you consider good, honest, helpful and well meant advice "messing with you", you do need some time away. But you do what you feel you should. I agree that there isn't much to do this time of night. But you're here a good part of the day and evening as well. That's quite OK if it doesn't affect the rest of your life but your original post indicates there's a lot more going on. Maybe I can offer some even better advice if you expound on just what's happening in your life.

 

Getting away and broadening your life won't hurt no matter what your issues are. I'm glad you're back. Fifty minutes is a lifetime here.

[Darkangelism]

you wern;t messing with me, it came out wrong, i wasnt in a good mood and felt like you had something against me.

 

 

But anyway, the Internet does not affect the other aspects of my life, i do spend time outside doing other things, there is also a lot of time when im on, but im not here or in and out. Next i did take a break 3 weeks ago, didnt post for a few days then limited myself the rest of the week, i was more depressed then then i am now, here at least i get somebody to build me back up a bit. Well regardless i am more then likely going to see a professional about my problems, cause it is getting ridicules.