jnj express Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 Hey PR---grinding is dry-humping---their bodies are locked together, and lots of times one thing leads to another My question for you is what kind of a relationship do you have---it must be pretty easy going, and not very serious---cuz if I was in a serious relationship, and I am willing to bet most of the others here would agree with me---MY GF/SO would not be out dancing with anyone at all---she would be with me--- If she needed time with her GF's it would be lunch, shopping, movies, sporting events, hobbies---something like that---NOT BAR HOPPING, and putting herself in HARMS WAY If you don't care about this why are you here at all---obviously something is bothering you, but again how serious are the two of you about each other----cuz if she was serious about you---why would she be laying her body all over strange guys on the dance floor Link to post Share on other sites
Author P&R Posted April 9, 2011 Author Share Posted April 9, 2011 Hey PR---grinding is dry-humping---their bodies are locked together, and lots of times one thing leads to another My question for you is what kind of a relationship do you have---it must be pretty easy going, and not very serious---cuz if I was in a serious relationship, and I am willing to bet most of the others here would agree with me---MY GF/SO would not be out dancing with anyone at all---she would be with me--- If she needed time with her GF's it would be lunch, shopping, movies, sporting events, hobbies---something like that---NOT BAR HOPPING, and putting herself in HARMS WAY If you don't care about this why are you here at all---obviously something is bothering you, but again how serious are the two of you about each other----cuz if she was serious about you---why would she be laying her body all over strange guys on the dance floor My girlfriend doesn't bar hop and she doesn't go to clubs very often. We're serious and as such she asked me where I stood on this issue. The problem is I'm not comfortable with this yet I don't know if me being uncomfortable is unwarranted. Also I doubt people would agree with you on here. I don't care if she dances with other people, and she doesn't have to spend all of her time with me. In fact that is a bad thing. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 My girlfriend asked me if I considered grinding cheating. She said it out of nowhere so I was a bit taken back. She goes out to the club with her girlfriends every now and then(Don't care about this). It's not a regularly occuring thing but she does like to hit the clubs every now and then. I told her I'd answer her later. I just asked her one question; If I grinded with a girl how would she feel? She said it's just dancing.... I don't feel anything from grinding with random guys. My problem is that I do have a problem with grinding... It is essentially simulated sex. I don't consider grinding cheating, but very disrespectful. Do I have a skewed view of this? Am I old fashioned? If I really wanted too I could choose to look the other way. I need to answer her soon, and honestly if I saw her grinding with another guy I would not feel very good about it. Cheating or not, it is very inappropriate imho and if it hurts you then that is really all that should be said. I could NEVER do that to my DF. It is just so disrespectful. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 If she didn't think it was a big deal, then she wouldn't have proposed the question to you. She asked you because she felt guilty about it and her telling you she would be alright with it is a lie, she might have said it would be alright is because she's already is guilty of it. Point is, if you were standing on the edge of the dance floor and she was dancing with some random guy. Do you think that she would grind her "privates" onto this other guy with you just a few feet away? I very much doubt it. So, how does she stop it? If she's out dancing on the dance floor and she feels a guy pressing onto her. DANCE OVER!!!! and she should just calmly walk off the floor. It's that easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Memphis Raines Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 I posted this in another thread, and will repost it here. I consider it to be a form of dance. Unless you consider dancing, cheating, you really should give it a rest. well then the next thing than could happen is panties and pants drop on the dancefloor and penetration occurs, and someone can say, "but we are just dancing":rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
Memphis Raines Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 so to those that think so, acting like you are f*****g someone on the dancefloor isn't cheating? Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 My philosophy would be that anything you wouldn't want your partner doing with someone else when music is NOT playing would normally be the standard. Right? Link to post Share on other sites
Entropy3000 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Cheating sounds like a strong word but then again isn't it really dry humping? So that makes it more than kissing but less than intercourse? I would at least say it is not what somebody who considers themselves "taken" does. In between this is playing "just the tip". Some think that is a gray area ... Some folks like to play with peoples heads. To me this is way past cheating. Cheating is not just intercourse. Kissing is very much cheating. Also this is just part of the seduction ritual. One level is only exciting for some period of time. Then to get the same excitement one needs to take it to the next and the next level. This has nothing to do with trust. When one puts themselves into these situations they make themselves vulnerable. That in itself is the cheat. Allowing the dangerousness of going too far. But I guess that is the whole point of the dance. Oh and it is disrespectful to you. Asking you what you think about it. Well that can be a test to see if you even care about them, how secure you are as a man or just prepping you for further ... um abuse. Being secure as a man does not mean being ok with this behavior, rather secure in being able to state right out that this is unaccaptable to you. Because it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Entropy3000 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 (edited) I posted this in another thread, and will repost it here. I consider it to be a form of dance. Unless you consider dancing, cheating, you really should give it a rest. Under this "clubbing" circumstance, I would definitely consider dancing cheating in a committed relationship. One could certainly make examples of times when dancing is OK. BUT since you put it that grinding and dancing are one in the same then one would have to say then that dancing is cheating. Playing just the tip can be dancing for some of us. "I consider it to be a form of dance." Priceless. Thank you, I enjoyed this comment. The guy being grinded on has every expectation to think this is going to go further. Other wise they call this "C*** teasing". Literally ... no? Edited April 27, 2011 by Entropy3000 Link to post Share on other sites
John Michael Kane Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 I would of course consider grinding to be cheating. Why would she want some guy's dick touching her ass even if it is through clothes? If she willingly allows that then she is being unfaithful to you. Correct. If we're supposed to be serious about each other, no need to be going to the club shaking ya thang all on another man's crotch. Sorry that's cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
cdeyoung Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 let her know how you feel but always remember you don't own her. she's going to do what she wants to do regardless, but if she doesn't respect you, she doesn't respect the relationship... and you know what happens when theres no respect in the relationship. when i used to go out to clubs, i'd dance with my buddies and they'd possibly get a woman to dance with but i had no interest in dancing with another woman because i respected the woman i had at home - i wouldnt want to send out the wrong message. if you love and respect your partner, it's HIM you'd want to dance with on the dance floor, NOT somebody else... dancing is fine. why not just dance with friends? but when you're dancing with a stranger when you have a partner... that's a whole other ball game. it's not about just a dance, it's about respect. Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 Hey P&R--I think you loose on your line that most people here think what she is doing is not cheating She is cheating and you know it---it is bothering you, otherwise you wouldn't even be here As to your line about not caring whether she is out dancing---and you can't control her.----you are absolutely right you cannot control her By the same token though why are you in a relationship, if you are gonna let your partner go out dancing with other guys, and grind ---that is foreplay, which is a form of sex, it turns people on, it is a precursor to sex, and if you don't think so, then you are pretty naive. You do whatever you want, but don't come here complaining if you don't like the answers you get, to something you know is wrong in the 1st place, which you allow to take place!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 I posted this in another thread, and will repost it here. I consider it to be a form of dance. Unless you consider dancing, cheating, you really should give it a rest. LOL, just had to come here to post this: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/534806/akon_dancing_with_young_girl_on_stage/ Link to post Share on other sites
sanskrit Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 (edited) The only reason she feigns that it wouldn't bother her if you did it is that she knows you don't do it. As someone else said there are many things she can do with the GFs that don't involve allowing a guy to simulate sex with her. Moreover, there are many places to go and dance where grind dancing is considered trashy and unacceptable, and anyone trying it would be laughed at by people of class, if even allowed to continue. Your GF needs to grow up and cultivate some classier GFs. I used to have a live and let live attitude about not being at all jealous or possessing of a GF in her doings with her GFs, but you know what? a good one naturally avoids things that stir this kind of drama up, as do her high quality friends, so just the fact that this kind of drama emerges is telling. She shouldn't even have to ask you this, and should naturally avoid it out of respect to you and your relationship. Edited May 1, 2011 by sanskrit Link to post Share on other sites
Memphis Raines Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 funny about this thread and the timing. i was at a wedding reception, and of all places, you'd think the grinding wouldn't happen. my current girlfriend was out on the dancefloor when I was having a conversation with the groom. a guy comes behind her, with some balls, and starts grinding from behind. she apparently thought nothing of it and played along, until she looked and saw that I saw them. Then she backed off. I didn't give her any kind of angry look. She just noticed that I saw. So she obviously thought it was inappropriate because when she knew I was watching, she stopped. So if she wasn't doing anything wrong, why did she stop? needless to say, I don't think I'll be in this relationship much longer, and she now knows it after the conversation of how this was simulated doggy sex on the dancefloor. Link to post Share on other sites
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