kinsey Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I'm just venting, because I don't think there's anything that can be done at this point, except break up, and I'm not there yet. I feel so unappreciated. Is it possible to make some appreciate you? I've told my bf several times that I feel this way. A recent example of something that made me feel unappreciated: His puppy needed a new collar because she outgrew her first one. It hasn't fit her for about 3 weeks now, to the best that I recall. Instead of buying her one, he just constantly commented on the need to get her a new one, took off her collar, and used my dog's harness when she needed to be walked or go out. Today I went to the store and bought her a collar, and sent him a picture of it on her. His response? "You got her a collar but didn't buy dog food? OK." What do you do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kinsey Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 And, my one and only house rule I have is that the dogs are not allowed on furniture. Not on the bed and not on the couches or armchairs, which I think is reasonable. My bf always lets them both on the bed and the couches when I'm not around, and what's even worse is that he asks them to get on the furniture to cuddle with him So now they just do whatever they want. I feel like it's really disrespectful of him to ignore my rule, which we discussed before he got his puppy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kinsey Posted April 2, 2011 Author Share Posted April 2, 2011 My bf went to a HH after work, with co-workers. He said he would be home shortly after. After several hours, I texted him to find out what he was up to. Said he was leaving soon I let him know that one of the dogs has been really sick, and I'm still trying to get work done (difficult when the dog is literally barfing and having to go out every 2 minutes, and making messes), hoping that he would do the right thing and come home and help me. He said that maybe he should come home, but it was clearly a fake, I'm-only-saying-this-so-I-don't-sounds-completely-selfish sort of statement. So I told him that I need him to come home and help me, and he basically said he was having too much fun, and there was nothing he could do anyways (drunkenly missing the point that I needed him to watch the dogs so I could meet my deadline). Am I the selfish one here for asking him to come home after he already spent several hours socializing with his co-workers? Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 I feel so unappreciated. Is it possible to make some appreciate you? Stop doing all the things you do for him. Stop taking care of his dog while he is out drinking, or whatever. Move out. When he has to do everything for himself, he might realize how much you did for him and change his ways. I'm guessing, however, he'll make promisesand not live up to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Tizzy Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 What do you do? You leave him. Sounds like your boyfriend was looking for a warm body and perhaps a maid/butler, not a real live person to actually share a partnership with. He's stepping all over your boundaries and knows you'll put up with it. I wouldn't give him the time of day. Like the other poster said, I suggest not doing anything else for him, moving out and getting on with your life. You deserve more than this ungrateful, selfish piece of a man. Let him take care of himself and his own dog. And don't ever think for one minute that he'll ever change. Trust me, they don't! They only get worse with time. Link to post Share on other sites
RogueAirborne Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 The 2 responses you have gotten say to leave him, but I think more detail needs to be put out here. My wife goes out a lot with her friends, which I am glad for. I do not bug her to come home if one of the kids is sick, etc. So if I were to go out on a rare occasion, I would be slightly miffed if she started bugging me about it. Now, if he is going out all the time and blowing off his responsibilities, then year, leave him! Link to post Share on other sites
Author kinsey Posted April 4, 2011 Author Share Posted April 4, 2011 Now, if he is going out all the time and blowing off his responsibilities, then year, leave him! He is the one who goes out all the time and gets to do everything he wants, while I am home all day with the dogs, and have to be the one responsible for them at night also because he is not home after work to feed them or walk them. Anyways, he got home late Friday night, and walked in the door like everything was fine, was shocked that I was not a happy camper, then blamed it all on the dogs - because obviously I couldn't possibly have been annoyed at him, since he never does anything wrong, rude, selfish or inconsiderate. I have no idea why it was a surprise, unless he was just acting otherwise and hoping for the best, because it was clear from our phone conversation that I was pissed at him for not coming home. The next day he actually had the balls to yell at me about how selfish I am for 1) texting him about the dog being sick to begin with, because then he was worried while he was out having a good time, and distracted from the people he was with because he was texting me 2) asking him to come home, especially because he "never" gets to do anything, then claimed that I only did that to make him come home because I hate for him to go out and not be home 24 hours a day. He even said that I "always" do this, which is such bull****, because when he is out to dinner or drinking I don't contact him and he doesn't contact me. The only time I will contact him when he is out doing something is if he says "I'm only doing-15-minute-activity then coming home"....and he is still not home after 8 hours...which is completely reasonable for me to do, since at that point I'm wondering if he was in a car accident or arrested or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 he sounds selfish and immature and blaming. This is not a successful recipe for the future. If you cannot negotiate the equitable care of two dogs, how will you navigate a life of bills, illness, chidcare? Your resentment is huge already at his lack of consideration. Do you expect it will improve? It won't. Ditch him and find a more considerate partner. Link to post Share on other sites
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