Help

[Gio]

I have this problem. I had been going out with my GF for 3 months, and when we got into bed, I dont know I had this problem achieving and maintaining erection. It is so ironic, because before that I would get aroused so easily by simply touching her or kissing her. Since that day, I never get fully aroused, I know it is all in my head. I barealy get aroused by even kissing her. The other day I was at her house, and I was so afraid and nervouse to proceed, so I stopped. Now my GF understands. She is cool with it. Now I am scared because I dont want this to come in between us. We have a very nice relationship, but I was getting these scary thoughts that i will never be able to haev intercourse with her. Is this psychological impotence. My question is should I go see an Urologist or Sexopathologist. This is the first time it happened to me, and now I cant get it out of my head and it is screwing me up so bad. I am willing to stay in this relationship very much because I know that the GF that I have is hard to find out there. And now I feel so horrible, cause she is smart beautiful.. I am the jerk here who screwed up his mind. But have this feeling that it may not end very well. PLEASE tell me what should I do, cause I am losing it. WOuld doctor help. I am sure people have been in this situation and have recovered. Some guy told me, it is over, I should move on and find some other girl, cause he said something like that happened to him too, and he neve got that fixed, But i am so scared to leave her....I am in despair,,,please help

[Tony T]

A psychotherapist can help you develop techniques to cure your anticipatory anxiety. This is NOT the end of the world. Your relationship will be just fine. When you start relaxing and just having fun, you will get over this. Yes, sex is 99 percent in the mind and when you have a lot of anxiety and other garbage there, your performance can be affected.

 

Since you have a very understanding girlfriend, my suggestion would be to set up a very romantic evening and to have the understanding in advance that the two of you will touch, hug, and do all things sexual short of intercourse for as long as you want. Just take your time. An hour, two, three, all night, doesn't make any difference. Do this once, twice, three times, a hundred times. Just make sure you relax and know that if you can't get an erection it is perfectly OK. (Many women prefer foreplay and affection over sex, believe it or not) If you can be tender and sexual in bed, your girlfriend will be quite happy. And there are many other means of helping her achieve an orgasm besides intercourse. Again, relax!!!

 

At some point, you will when you realize that your girlfriend is not judging you and YOU are your worst enemy here, you will relax, achieve an erection and be able to engage in normal sexual activity.

 

If I were you, I would see a counsellor first. But if you want to try my suggestion first, fine too.

 

BUT STOP WORRYING AND BEING SO HARSH ON YOURSELF. You should get an erection of joy at finding such a wonderful, understanding lady!!!