Is sitting on a guy's lap and grinding considered cheating?

[Dr Phillz]

hell yea thats cheating!

[l.mitchell25]

You say he forgives you, but this is the normal reaction. Over time he will look at you and the image of you grinding down on another man's groin will flash in his mind.

If that was the case, he would have told me straight out that he's still upset. He's not the type of man that bottles up emotions. The subject has been talked about already and done with.

Read about triggers, BS rage, and revenge affairs on this site.

I don't read posts at all. I only came here because I was feeling very down, awful and extremely guilty at that moment. In all honestly I'm really not interested in reading about other people's affairs. I just came here to talk about my issue.

[dreamingoftigers]

LOL everyone on LS won't be over it long after you and your bf are....

[l.mitchell25]

how would you feel if your man was had a girl bent over on the dancefloor rubbing his crotch against her ass like he was F'ing her? trust would go right out the window.

This question has already been answered on the very first page of my thread. I don't think I have to repeat it again.

[l.mitchell25]

so to pay him back for not dumping you, you are going to stay away from parties from now on, right?

There hasn't been any mention of stopping going to parties. However, I will dedicate more time with him from now on, way more than before.

What you're saying is I can't never go to a party ever again?

[l.mitchell25]

Lady all I gotta say is just own your faults, learn from it, and never do it again. Don't even try to stop or judge him if he wishes to no longer be with you because after what you done, it'll be well within his rights.

I can't really comprehend you at all.

 

I confessed and felt guilty about it since that moment and yet you're saying I'm not taking responsibilities?

 

So which way is it? If I would have never told him then I'm not being responsible but since I told him, I'm still not being responsible according to you, so I'm lost now.

 

Ok I'm gone as apparently this is going kind of out of control and seems so bias. Still, I would like to say thank you to those certain posters that stayed on the topic and didn't deviate.

Bye for now.

Edited April 7, 2011 by l.mitchell25

[Memphis Raines]

This question has already been answered on the very first page of my thread. I don't think I have to repeat it again.

 

didn't see it. but your flippant character indicates to me why you were grinding on another guy in the first place.

[Memphis Raines]

There hasn't been any mention of stopping going to parties.

 

and something tells me you won't offer it up either because you will still want to party, and for obvious reasons.

 

What you're saying is I can't never go to a party ever again?

 

you can do whatever you want, but you have proven you can't handle partying and like getting validated as a result of being there. Otherwise if there were no men at these parties, you wouldn't be so excited to go.

[UpandAway]

I suppose it is disrespectful, but I don't know if I'd consider it cheating in the strictest sense of the word. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being a full-blown affair, I'd say it's a 1, if even that. Maybe a half:)

 

People are being really hard on you, assuming your motives and what not. I think they're being overly-harsh. Would I be pissed if a girl was grinding on my BF? Yeah, I would but I think I would forgive, especially if it was a party and alcohol was involved.

 

I'm glad to see your BF has decided to forgive, best of luck for the future.

[samsungxoxo]

No it's not cheating... I did that once too. However, it is somewhat disrespectful and can get an spouse made or create arguments.

 

Oh brother.... people take things way too seriously. Everything is not black-n-white, there is always a gray area.

 

If a bf was doing this with another woman, yes I might be a bit upset but would forget it that day... within an hour later.

[P&R]

No it's not cheating... I did that once too. However, it is somewhat disrespectful and can get an spouse made or create arguments.

 

Oh brother.... people take things way too seriously. Everything is not black-n-white, there is always a gray area.

 

If a bf was doing this with another woman, yes I might be a bit upset but would forget it that day... within an hour later.

This could actually be taken as cheating Samsung. Every relationship has different boundaries, and conversely different rules to play by. Just because you do not see this as cheating doesn't mean her boyfriend will see it the same way.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

No it's not cheating... I did that once too. However, it is somewhat disrespectful and can get an spouse made or create arguments.

 

Oh brother.... people take things way too seriously. Everything is not black-n-white, there is always a gray area.

 

If a bf was doing this with another woman, yes I might be a bit upset but would forget it that day... within an hour later.

 

Most reasonable response on this thread.

[P&R]

Most reasonable response on this thread.

So... you would be ok with your girlfriend doing this?

[carhill]

To enact healthier boundaries in the future and to help me form an equitable opinion, a couple of questions:

 

How often per week do you drink? How often do you drink to the point of being drunk, as occurred on the night in question?

 

What do you think impelled you to sit on this random, unknown man's lap versus the laps of all the other random unknown men at the party? Did you know any of the men at the party? Why didn't you sit on their laps? I'm presuming he wasn't the only 'cute' guy at the party.

 

How committed would you say you and your BF are? How long have you been together? Any other similar issues on either side? How old are you and he?

 

Lastly, have you talked about this in-person, face-to-face, with your BF?

 

 

FWIW, I've seen that 'wild side' in some MW's and they didn't think it was 'cheating'. Of course, their spouse's opinion might differ but I only heard one side. Every person is different in how they view commitment, monogamy and infidelity.

 

Hope things work out

[Memphis Raines]

Most reasonable response on this thread.

 

thats because she enjoys doing the things that are disrespectful to a significant other, which is why she doesn't care if someone of hers does it in return.

 

other people know what committment mean. and it doesn't mean to be emotionally unfaithful and pleasure yourself with someone else.

[WorldIsYours]

So... you would be ok with your girlfriend doing this?

 

That's what I'm wondering. Since when was it okay to grind on someone's pecker and then wait a week to tell them?

[samsungxoxo]

thats because she enjoys doing the things that are disrespectful to a significant other, which is why she doesn't care if someone of hers does it in return.

I tjust means we all think differently. Perhaps looking at porn is cheating for one person but not for me.

You see cheating in my dictionary would be the following on the list:

1) Kissing someone else

2) Oral, Anal or Intercourse with someone else

3) They were going to sleep with someone else but date got canceled

 

And they all have to be face-to-face encounters.... real obvious intimate things.... not grinding nor online activity (cyber doesn't count for me).

 

That's the way I see it....

[Untouchable_Fire]

We both got a bit carried away last week and end dancing closely. I was then sitting on his lap for about 30 minutes or so and his hands started going through my waist and bottom. I touched his chest.

I realized what was happening and left the party. I'm not sure if this is cheating but I know for sure I'd be very pissed off if my man let another woman sit on his lap or made those type of advances. As for women trying to hit on my man, there would sure be a verbal confrontation.

I haven't told him this yet but can't keep it anymore. I'm already feeling like the biggest liar on earth. Even if it wasn't cheating, it was still disrespectful and inappropriate. I have never done any of this in my life nor on my previous relationships.

 

Not cheating as described... but SUPER inappropriate and a huge breach of trust.

 

If I heard about it.... then I would dump her in the most wretched way possible. However, if she was honest and told me with remorse... I would probably give her a second shot.

[Memphis Raines]

I tjust means we all think differently.

 

and thats fine and dandy. if you and your SO are alike and don't care if you get off on someone else, then its not cheating because neither of you care.

 

if one of you does care and considers it cheating, then it is.

[jpbj1982]

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[jpbj1982]

This could actually be taken as cheating Samsung. Every relationship has different boundaries, and conversely different rules to play by. Just because you do not see this as cheating doesn't mean her boyfriend will see it the same way.

 

Think he or she may be Cheating?

 

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[kcahs]

I would not say anything it will destroy your relationship. He will never trust you again.

[Memphis Raines]

I would not say anything it will destroy your relationship.

 

what relationship?

[rafallus]

Maybe not cheating, but I definitely wouldn't think of girl doing that with other guys as of my gf.

[rafallus]

I would not say anything it will destroy your relationship. He will never trust you again.

 

If she wants to do that (grinding/sitting on other guys' laps thing) anyway, there is no relationship in the first place. Just a random fun at best.