DreamerGirl27 Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 I know why I'm in the friend zone. I'm not stupid and being so mature for my age shows it. http://www.guyspeak.com/answers/why-do-guys-put-the-good-girls-in-the-friend-zone-why-do-they-sleep-with-the-hot-to-trot-girls-yet-w/ Basically...men are less mature than women. This doesn't stay the case for life. But they mature slower than women, and seeing as I like a guy 4 years younger than me, this could take awhile. If I haven't found anyone else by the time this guy grows up, I will definitely consider him. Hell...I'd jump on him right now if I could. In the mean time I'm just gonna have to be lonely. And horny. Because I refuse to put out. I'm not that kind of girl. I want commitment. I want marriage. I want to start my life with a guy and I put off that vibe. I'm the goodest girl you will probably ever meet. That's an exaggeration. There are tons of good girls. But, I'm like the rock star version of Taylor Swift. Just really sweet...mature...and knows what she wants. I will never be a "hot to trot" girl who's willing to sleep with anything that moves. It isn't who I am and I know that and everyone who meets me knows it within seconds. Hence, the reason why I end up in a man I'm really serious about's "friend zone". ::sigh:: It's the "nice guy"/"good girl" dilemma. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted April 3, 2011 Author Share Posted April 3, 2011 and nobody use the "he's just not attracted" card, either. That doesn't add up, because it's not about looks. If a woman met a really awesome man who she wasn't attracted to, but had chemistry with in every other aspect of life, she'd marry him. Same goes for men. Men and women are different. But not THAT different. It's not about looks. I finally figured that out today. Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 and nobody use the "he's just not attracted" card, either. That doesn't add up, because it's not about looks. If a woman met a really awesome man who she wasn't attracted to, but had chemistry with in every other aspect of life, she'd marry him. Same goes for men. Men and women are different. But not THAT different. It's not about looks. I finally figured that out today. Yeah she'd marry him. And they would be divorced less in 5 years later because the relationship was built on sand and the ocean tide is coming in. If you aren't attracted to someone, it won't work. Sex plays a huge role in relationships, and that means pure attraction. A sexless marriage/relationship isn't as funny as TV sitcoms portray it. You got rejected by a man. Boo-hoo. There are greater tragedies in this world. If you keep trolling askmen.com you might as well get yourself a buzz cut, start wearing all flannel shirts, get some work boots on, and start hanging out at the hardware store because you are well on your way to becoming a man-hating bull-dyke lesbian. You aren't that mature if you believe things you read on askmen.com. You're just like any "Nice Guy" who has ever graced these boards. The simple fact is, you aren't nice. You are bitter people, who when rejected, play the most epic victim role this world has ever seen. You say you are nice just to be nice, but when that isn't returned in full you come on here spouting all sorts of hate. But I thought you weren't expecting anything in return? Weren't you nice just because you want to be nice? Nice isn't being a doormat. You don't know what you want because you haven't met a guy who will tell you what you want. For what it's worth, it IS about looks. It's always about looks. Humans are very visual creatures. Do you really think Megan Fox is a good actress? Why are there no fat kids on American Idol? Fat people can sing too you know. Tell me, would you eat food that looks like dog sh*t? No? But it tastes great! Would you eat food that looks like a work of art? But what if it tasted like dog sh*t? Which plate would you choose without knowing taste? The one that looked like some took a dump on a plate or the one that was put together by a top chef? Have you ever met an 600 pound ugly swimsuit model? Link to post Share on other sites
AirbenderAang Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 If you are friend zoned it is either because of looks, or personality, or both. In your case, it sounds like you are ruling out the looks department prematurely. If you are absolutely positive that it isn't the looks in your case, then it is personality. Maybe you aren't seductive enough. Maybe you aren't sweet enough. Maybe you aren't mean enough. Maybe you aren't intelligent enough. Maybe you aren't quirky enough. There are so many reasons for him not to like you. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Basically...men are less mature than women. This doesn't stay the case for life. But they mature slower than women, and seeing as I like a guy 4 years younger than me, this could take awhile. My bf is 4 years younger than me (he's mid twenties) and he's perfectly mature. Some guys are mature from a young age and some never mature; I know guys who were committed to a relationship at age 18 and eventually married the girl, and I know guys in their forties who have never committed or even been faithful to anyone. Maybe you just need to find a decent, mature man instead of hanging around waiting for an immature one who doesn't even seem interested in you. Link to post Share on other sites
BeginAgain Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 The whole "women are just so much more mature argument" is BS. I've wanted to be married or in a serious relationship since my teens. The guy you want doesn't seem interested in commitment and no matter how old he is deep down he never will be. If you are waiting until he becomes so desperate to jump into any commitment since he begins to realize the end is nigh then it probably won't happen until he is well into his 30's or in his 40's. There is a chance he'll never be interested at all. Enjoy your self-instituted and self-enforced celibacy. For men it is always about looks first and sex with everything else second. Physical attraction is what draws a man to a woman. Men come for the sex and in the long term stay for more. The man's portion of the equation in your "chemistry" all relates back to sex: his sexual desires for you, his physical attraction to you, his sex drive/libido, how seductive he finds you, and how cute he finds you. Being cute and seductive are a bit more about how you carry yourself and therefore it relates more to personality. The honeymoon period at the beginning of a relationship is about sex, sex, sex. Eventually how well you gel together will become more and more important but this isn't a platonic relationship so the sexual component will always have a big role as long as the relationship is healthy and alive. If you are going to expect "chemistry" without sexual interest then you are going to be mighty disappointed. It can't exist for a guy. Now you'll find guys in relationships where from the outside it looks like they really get along. They really seem to have it, that spark. Yet it is just a facade. Behind the scenes there is no "chemistry" on his part. He has no sexual interest. She is more like a mother to him. He gave up out of desperation and settled for what he could get. It sounds like you have become so insanely desperate for this guy you are hoping for this situation or to be with him in any kind of scenario except FWB or casual sex. Even if you get him in this way you aren't going to be happy. You want more than just some platonic, motherly shenanigans. You have sexual desires toward him and if he can't be equally sexually desirous of you I can already see a post from you in the future "Why doesn't my man love me?" or "Why doesn't my man initiate sex?" He doesn't love you or proposition you because the "chemistry" was a fraud and only on your end. The guy you have keeps talking about sex with you. That could be his form of flirtation and he wants you, he is just playing with you because he thinks it is fun, or he merely likes talking a lot about sex especially with a female. You need to answer which it is before you give up any chance of being with another. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Oh don't kid yourself, there is a good chance that they will end up together, however briefly. He sounds like your typical underattached sexual addict types and she is an overattached magical thinker. Sexual addicts tend but to want to play around with their wives too often, she'll think it's love or health or stress. Meanwhile he will have nailed half of the Eastern Seaboard. Honey, get past this guy or I am your future. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 I can't believe that you sourced askmen. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
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