Going to lunch with Ex boyfriend tomorrow... need advice

[TryingtoUnderstand32]

Well I texted him tonight to ask him to please remove photos of me on Facebook..and told him I'm still "late" worried about possibility of being pregnant. He called me a minute later.

 

I answered and For the first time since our breakup we had a verbal conversation. He wrote me an email last monday telling me he wanted to live his life fully (there is a thread about the email) and that he didn't think he could live his life fully by settling for a relationship in the "middle ground". Well I told him how that comment made me feel and how much it hurt me. He said he didn't mean it in the way that he could do better than me just that he could meet someone more like him with common interests. He said that he is confused. I asked him if he missed me, he said he did but that didn't mean we were meant to be together. I asked him if he was sure and he didn't have doubts. He said that he does have doubts but he is "confused".

Than I few sentences later he asked me if I went back on the dating website we met on!? Wtf? I did go back on and posted my profile, but not for a relationship, just to get out an have fun. I didn't tell him I went back on...even though all he has to do is look and he would be able to see me, I don't know if he knows, he acted like he didn't.

I asked him why he was asking me..and he said because I told him I was going to when he was ending it with me last week...which I did say that. But if he didn't care why bring that up?

He than pretty much said I'm very important to him and he's not sure if he wants this breakup to.be permanent. He said he may feel differently in a few weeks, I told him I'm not waiting for him. He slowly said he understood.

 

So I asked him since he had doubts if he wanted to meet in person, and talk..he said yes and I asked him about tomorrow.. And than he mentioned Tuesday or wednesday but I have plans both nights..since he didn't agree to tomorrow and instead threw the other days at me I said ok never mind, not a big deal. He than goes "ok yeah tomorrow is good, how about we go out to lunch?". I agreed to meet him for lunch.

 

I know this story is a bit all over and I almost called him and canceled our lunch meet but I have things I want to say to him in person. So I'm going into this with an open mind and not expecting anything. Am I making a mistake by meeting him?

Edited April 3, 2011 by TryingtoUnderstand32

[Country_Girl]

Is it a good idea? Eh, my vote is No. But my opinion, and that of others will most likely not change your mind. I know how I was with my breakup and there was always "one last" email I had to send, "one last" phone call I had to make, "one last" text I had to send. You are going to do what you are going to do, regardless.

 

Since I think you are going to go anyway, just watch yourself. My ex was "confused" also, which led to more confusion for me, trying to decipher the mixed messages. First it was a breakup, then he said he wanted space, then he said he was confused, then came the "I love you and miss you's" without the commitment.

 

I fear you are gearing yourself up for a roller coaster ride, I truly hope that is not the case. But if he starts throwing crumbs, stringing you along, I hope you can find the strength to cut contact with him. Your heart will be so much better off.

[TryingtoUnderstand32]

Is it a good idea? Eh, my vote is No. But my opinion, and that of others will most likely not change your mind. I know how I was with my breakup and there was always "one last" email I had to send, "one last" phone call I had to make, "one last" text I had to send. You are going to do what you are going to do, regardless.

 

Since I think you are going to go anyway, just watch yourself. My ex was "confused" also, which led to more confusion for me, trying to decipher the mixed messages. First it was a breakup, then he said he wanted space, then he said he was confused, then came the "I love you and miss you's" without the commitment.

 

I fear you are gearing yourself up for a roller coaster ride, I truly hope that is not the case. But if he starts throwing crumbs, stringing you along, I hope you can find the strength to cut contact with him. Your heart will be so much better off.

 

I'm not going to accept crumbs or pieces of him. Its all or nothing. The last time we met I was crying, and pleading. I must have looked pathetic to him. I almost feel like this is my opportunity to walk away with some dignity. I don't know what to expect when we meet..I don't think I will walk away with a boyfriend. After this past week it would take more than a lunch meet to get back together.

 

Should I tell him about my date next week? So he knows I'm really serious about not waiting for him

[Country_Girl]

Well, you have to ask yourself, why are you asking for this meeting? Is it for closure? Is it to reconcile? Is it because you miss him and you think if he sees you one last time it will make a difference? I mean, really dig deep and figure out why you plan on meeting up.

 

If you're looking for closure, you won't get it from him. People on these boards really mean it when they say closure comes from with in. Because trust me, you will think you got it, but then a few days later you will think of more you wanted to say to him.

 

It's up to you if you want to disclose the date to him. I know when I told my ex I was moving on and done loving someone that didn't love me, it did cause some insecurity on his part. Wasn't long after that the I love you's came back. But it wasn't enough to make a difference. I wasn't even telling him that to make him jealous, I was just fed up and I wanted him to know that I was no longer waiting in the wings for him.

 

You don't even have to tell him you don't plan on waiting for him, you can let No Contact do that for you. For every text message you send, for every email you submit, for every text you reply to- he will have his answer on if you are waiting for him.

 

If you go to the meeting, act happy, but don't let it come across as fake. Don't cry or get emotional. You want to leave him with the best impression of you as possible. You want him to think back fondly on his last memory with you. Then go right into no contact. Disappear off the map, block him on facebook so he doesn't know what is going on with you (because if he wants access to what is going on in your life, he is going to have to contact you). He can't miss you if you are still in his life.

 

No matter what happened, he will look back and only see good memories, it may take a few months, but trust me, it will happen. But you have to fall off the grid.

[TryingtoUnderstand32]

Well, you have to ask yourself, why are you asking for this meeting? Is it for closure? Is it to reconcile? Is it because you miss him and you think if he sees you one last time it will make a difference? I mean, really dig deep and figure out why you plan on meeting up.

 

If you're looking for closure, you won't get it from him. People on these boards really mean it when they say closure comes from with in. Because trust me, you will think you got it, but then a few days later you will think of more you wanted to say to him.

 

It's up to you if you want to disclose the date to him. I know when I told my ex I was moving on and done loving someone that didn't love me, it did cause some insecurity on his part. Wasn't long after that the I love you's came back. But it wasn't enough to make a difference. I wasn't even telling him that to make him jealous, I was just fed up and I wanted him to know that I was no longer waiting in the wings for him.

 

You don't even have to tell him you don't plan on waiting for him, you can let No Contact do that for you. For every text message you send, for every email you submit, for every text you reply to- he will have his answer on if you are waiting for him.

 

If you go to the meeting, act happy, but don't let it come across as fake. Don't cry or get emotional. You want to leave him with the best impression of you as possible. You want him to think back fondly on his last memory with you. Then go right into no contact. Disappear off the map, block him on facebook so he doesn't know what is going on with you (because if he wants access to what is going on in your life, he is going to have to contact you). He can't miss you if you are still in his life.

 

No matter what happened, he will look back and only see good memories, it may take a few months, but trust me, it will happen. But you have to fall off the grid.

 

I think I'm meeting with him to let him see me in a more dignified state..and say some of what's on my mind. He told me tonight even if we aren't together he wants me in his life. But if he doesn't want to date me than I can't have anything to do with him. So if he says to me tomorrow that he needs time , no contact will be the only choice. I'm not taking crumbs or "friendship"

 

 

Thanks for the advice

[xbexy87x]

Well, you have to ask yourself, why are you asking for this meeting? Is it for closure? Is it to reconcile? Is it because you miss him and you think if he sees you one last time it will make a difference? I mean, really dig deep and figure out why you plan on meeting up.

 

If you're looking for closure, you won't get it from him. People on these boards really mean it when they say closure comes from with in. Because trust me, you will think you got it, but then a few days later you will think of more you wanted to say to him.

 

It's up to you if you want to disclose the date to him. I know when I told my ex I was moving on and done loving someone that didn't love me, it did cause some insecurity on his part. Wasn't long after that the I love you's came back. But it wasn't enough to make a difference. I wasn't even telling him that to make him jealous, I was just fed up and I wanted him to know that I was no longer waiting in the wings for him.

 

You don't even have to tell him you don't plan on waiting for him, you can let No Contact do that for you. For every text message you send, for every email you submit, for every text you reply to- he will have his answer on if you are waiting for him.

 

If you go to the meeting, act happy, but don't let it come across as fake. Don't cry or get emotional. You want to leave him with the best impression of you as possible. You want him to think back fondly on his last memory with you. Then go right into no contact. Disappear off the map, block him on facebook so he doesn't know what is going on with you (because if he wants access to what is going on in your life, he is going to have to contact you). He can't miss you if you are still in his life.

 

No matter what happened, he will look back and only see good memories, it may take a few months, but trust me, it will happen. But you have to fall off the grid.

 

Some good advice I think... Im just going through a break up. It has been 3 months now! But we are still meeting up, having sex and txting each other with cutesy messages and like nothing has changed apart from the commitment! I need to start what you said. Meet him one last time (which is tomorrow as he wants to show me his car) act happy, talk.. Make hsi last impression of me memorable and then no contact. I have already deleted and blockd him off fb now!

 

Its just soo hard to stop txting and stuff :-(

 

Update us on what happened please! :-)

[SingVoice]

I don't believe for a second that you are going just to "retain some dignity." Based on the millions of threads you have started on your breakup...you are going to see if he wants you back. Just admit that to yourself because it's totally obvious.

 

Also...you have a date next week? Are you KIDDING me??? You have been posting threads constantly about your breakup...do you REALLY think you are ready to be going on a date? You aren't....and you need to admit that to yourself.

 

Girl....I mean this in the nicest way possible...but you need to get a grip on reality here. You have a broken heart...it's understandable...but you are acting CRAZY. You haven't even TRIED to start the healing process. So if you think that after one week you are going to see him and he is going to see that you are calm and cool and dignified...you are mistaken. You are going to continue to drag this out...there is NO way you are ready to see him at this point. You have been on the boards CONSTANTLY trying to figure this out...and you can't tell me that all of the sudden you are fine. You aren't. And I know as soon as you meet him for lunch you are going to be back on here wondering and asking all kinds of questions.

 

In a perfect world...sure it would be great if he wanted you back. But YOU keep chasing him. You haven't even given him the chance to miss you. And to pull the pregnancy scare on him....that's mean. And immature. Seriously....you really need to do some thinking.

[Mcnulty]

I agree with a lot of what singvoice has just said.

 

Telling him you're late straight away.... seems like you're looking for a reaction from him and thinking of telling him about a date...reaction from him.

[Country_Girl]

Some good advice I think... Im just going through a break up. It has been 3 months now! But we are still meeting up, having sex and txting each other with cutesy messages and like nothing has changed apart from the commitment! I need to start what you said. Meet him one last time (which is tomorrow as he wants to show me his car) act happy, talk.. Make hsi last impression of me memorable and then no contact. I have already deleted and blockd him off fb now!

 

Its just soo hard to stop txting and stuff :-(

 

 

I'm about 3.5 months post breakup, and trust me, it took a while to get to this point. I know what you mean, we were texting all the time- and like the same, it was all the benefits of a relationship but no commitment. But at some point, you need to stand up for yourself, and say to yourself that you won't settle for a half-assed relationship. You have to treat him like a drug, and wean yourself off, but once you get tired of the situation, you can quit him cold turkey. Took me a while, the first 2 days were the hardest, and I'm now on day 11 of NC. I feel so much better without all the mixed messages. I deleted his number to make it easier not to text. Doesn't help that I have his number memorized, but having to take the time to manually type his number in gives me a few moments to think and decide not to send the text. Just make a mini goal, of a week NC, and see how you feel once you make it that far. Then stretch the goal from there.

[cerridwen]

 

No matter what happened, he will look back and only see good memories, it may take a few months, but trust me, it will happen.

 

I'm not sure I agree Country_Girl.

 

The OP gave her ex substantial reasons to break up:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3312241&postcount=1

 

He finds the OP lacking in compassion and family values (her description).

Indeed, if most people's family experienced losses on the scale of Japan's, and one's S.O. expressed reluctance to help, it would be a deal breaker. He sounds very resolute about his decision.

He can not abide someone with such different values.

 

Yet, the OP continues to avoid accepting responsibility and continues to insist SHE'S the wronged party.

The ex let her down gently, giving her reasons for the break up that were exceedingly valid and understandable.

Yet, she continues to insist he "screwed [her] over."

^THIS is the very behavior that likely helped drive the ex away.

 

So...

 

the most you can do, OP, is establish yourself as someone who IS compassionate and perhaps if you make that change, in an authentic way, your ex will see it.

 

You continuing to focus on what HE did wrong, how YOU were shafted, how YOU'RE suffering only solidifies his impression of you as a self-centered person.

 

Go to lunch if you want.

But, worry less about coming across as "dignified" and more about being compassionate and selfless. It will serve you best.

Edited April 3, 2011 by cerridwen

[Country_Girl]

I'm not sure I agree Country_Girl.

 

The OP gave her ex substantial reasons to break up:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3312241&postcount=1

 

He finds the OP lacking in compassion and family values (her description).

Indeed, if most people's family experienced losses on the scale of Japan's, and one's S.O. expressed reluctance to help, it would be a deal breaker. He sounds very resolute about his decision.

He can not abide someone with such different values.

 

Yet, the OP continues to avoid accepting responsibility and continues to insist SHE'S the wronged party.

The ex let her down gently, giving her reasons for the break up that were exceedingly valid and understandable.

Yet, she continues to insist he "screwed [her] over."

^THIS is the very behavior that likely helped drive the ex away.

 

 

Well I mean more along the lines of how he will feel about her in the future, since she seemed concerned about his opinion of her. OP, I didn't mean in any way that it would be enough to win him back, as he seems very set on his value system and that is simply something you cannot change about a person. But if you are worried about his opinion of you, any resentment from the breakup should be washed away in due time, although that does not pave the way for a reconciliation.

[JasonRules]

Well I texted him tonight to ask him to please remove photos of me on Facebook..and told him I'm still "late" worried about possibility of being pregnant. He called me a minute later.

 

I answered and For the first time since our breakup we had a verbal conversation. He wrote me an email last monday telling me he wanted to live his life fully (there is a thread about the email) and that he didn't think he could live his life fully by settling for a relationship in the "middle ground". Well I told him how that comment made me feel and how much it hurt me. He said he didn't mean it in the way that he could do better than me just that he could meet someone more like him with common interests. He said that he is confused. I asked him if he missed me, he said he did but that didn't mean we were meant to be together. I asked him if he was sure and he didn't have doubts. He said that he does have doubts but he is "confused".

Than I few sentences later he asked me if I went back on the dating website we met on!? Wtf? I did go back on and posted my profile, but not for a relationship, just to get out an have fun. I didn't tell him I went back on...even though all he has to do is look and he would be able to see me, I don't know if he knows, he acted like he didn't.

I asked him why he was asking me..and he said because I told him I was going to when he was ending it with me last week...which I did say that. But if he didn't care why bring that up?

He than pretty much said I'm very important to him and he's not sure if he wants this breakup to.be permanent. He said he may feel differently in a few weeks, I told him I'm not waiting for him. He slowly said he understood.

 

So I asked him since he had doubts if he wanted to meet in person, and talk..he said yes and I asked him about tomorrow.. And than he mentioned Tuesday or wednesday but I have plans both nights..since he didn't agree to tomorrow and instead threw the other days at me I said ok never mind, not a big deal. He than goes "ok yeah tomorrow is good, how about we go out to lunch?". I agreed to meet him for lunch.

 

I know this story is a bit all over and I almost called him and canceled our lunch meet but I have things I want to say to him in person. So I'm going into this with an open mind and not expecting anything. Am I making a mistake by meeting him?

 

 

 

Telling him you might be pregnant is a mistake. Asking him if he misses you is a mistake. Meeting him for lunch to talk about things is also a mistake. Going on a dating website is also a mistake. Your posts only show one thing. You are in absolutely no shape to be dating and you are in no shape to be seeing him. Even if we take the tone of your post we can see that you are scared and uncertain about the future. You seem to be clinging onto hope when based on his actions, there shouldn't be any.

 

A guy who is in love and wants to be with someone doesn't need 2-3 weeks to decide. He needs about 1 second. If he's chasing after another woman, but isn't sure of the outcome then of course he'll string you along, but he doesn't need 2-3 weeks.

 

Why don't you take your life into your own hands and drop him? Change your attitude as well. You won't die if you end it with him and you're life won't be over. Do you know what will be over?

 

The misery you feel now will be over. The emotional roller-coaster will be over. The drama will be over. The crying will be over. The toxicity will be over. Will it be easy? Absolutely not. Will you get better with time? Definitely. However, the longer you keep prolonging the inevitable the longer you will be in pain.

 

It's your choice; death by 1,000 cuts or one blow. My ex put me through the ringer since last December when she started becoming distant, "confused", bla bla bla. And like an idiot I fought to salvage things. She would go from hot to cold. From caring to indifferent. My holidays sucked because I was depressed. Nothing I did or said changed anything. It was as though I was destined to "lose". She broke things off with me after an argument and 2 weeks later after NC she came back and we dated again for a while, but eventually the same things happened.

 

I got sick and tired of the emotional roller-coaster ride, wrote her a letter, and basically ended it myself and I told her that you will never see me again and if you want to have a normal relationship with me you'll know what to do. The last time I saw her was March 11th and I have been in NC since then. Was it easy? No. Were there days I missed her? Absolutely. But you know what? I'm slowly on my way back to normalcy. I don't feel miserable anymore, nor do I sit at home alone feeling all depressed. My life is slowly getting to where it used to be. I took down all her photos and hid them away and removed her number from my mobile.

 

You see, the truth is this. If she had feelings for me and cared about me she wouldn't be able to go so many days without seeing or talking to me. I have not heard from her, because she has no feelings for me. That's the truth and reality of the situation, but I choose to have some honor and dignity and not chase after someone who has made their intentions clear. My pride will not allow me to lower myself to that level.

 

I am a healthy, handsome, educated, intelligent man with great values from a normal family. I have many things to offer, but trying to force this upon someone who will not have me is disrespecting myself first and foremost. My pride will not allow me to do so. This is why I chose to end it.

 

This is why you must do the same.

 

All you are doing is setting yourself up for disappointment.

[TryingtoUnderstand32]

I don't believe for a second that you are going just to "retain some dignity." Based on the millions of threads you have started on your breakup...you are going to see if he wants you back. Just admit that to yourself because it's totally obvious.

 

Also...you have a date next week? Are you KIDDING me??? You have been posting threads constantly about your breakup...do you REALLY think you are ready to be going on a date? You aren't....and you need to admit that to yourself.

 

Girl....I mean this in the nicest way possible...but you need to get a grip on reality here. You have a broken heart...it's understandable...but you are acting CRAZY. You haven't even TRIED to start the healing process. So if you think that after one week you are going to see him and he is going to see that you are calm and cool and dignified...you are mistaken. You are going to continue to drag this out...there is NO way you are ready to see him at this point. You have been on the boards CONSTANTLY trying to figure this out...and you can't tell me that all of the sudden you are fine. You aren't. And I know as soon as you meet him for lunch you are going to be back on here wondering and asking all kinds of questions.

 

In a perfect world...sure it would be great if he wanted you back. But YOU keep chasing him. You haven't even given him the chance to miss you. And to pull the pregnancy scare on him....that's mean. And immature. Seriously....you really need to do some thinking.

 

 

Agreed with most of what you said. I did not "pull a scare" though. He knew about that before this relationship came to an end last week. That is a legitimate concern for me. I have to make a dr appt for next week to find out why I'm "late".

 

No I don't think I'm going to be "over" him but I'am moving on with my life, I'm not trying to jump into another relationship. I do want to go out and have fun though and I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

 

He told me today he has very strong feelings for me but he is conflicted if he wants continue the relationship. I let him do most of the talking. He took me to a really nice area where we walked around and talked about things. He than took me to lunch. I told him if he is so "confused" about being with me or not, than I have to sever ties. He asked me why and I told him it hurt me too much to be in contact while trying to get past my feelings for him. He said he misses me. I told him I missed him too. I told him if he comes to a "realization" that he wants to move forward with me and in a reasonable amount of time, if I'm still interested and available, than I would be open to talking.

 

He said "so your really not going to call or talk to me anymore?" I said I couldn't and he grabbed me and hugged me and I went home.

[TryingtoUnderstand32]

I agree with a lot of what singvoice has just said.

 

Telling him you're late straight away.... seems like you're looking for a reaction from him and thinking of telling him about a date...reaction from him.

 

The "late" thing has been an issue for about 2 weeks now. If you go back to one of my first threads, you will see that. He has known about it.

[TryingtoUnderstand32]

Telling him you might be pregnant is a mistake. Asking him if he misses you is a mistake. Meeting him for lunch to talk about things is also a mistake. Going on a dating website is also a mistake. Your posts only show one thing. You are in absolutely no shape to be dating and you are in no shape to be seeing him. Even if we take the tone of your post we can see that you are scared and uncertain about the future. You seem to be clinging onto hope when based on his actions, there shouldn't be any.

 

A guy who is in love and wants to be with someone doesn't need 2-3 weeks to decide. He needs about 1 second. If he's chasing after another woman, but isn't sure of the outcome then of course he'll string you along, but he doesn't need 2-3 weeks.

 

Why don't you take your life into your own hands and drop him? Change your attitude as well. You won't die if you end it with him and you're life won't be over. Do you know what will be over?

 

The misery you feel now will be over. The emotional roller-coaster will be over. The drama will be over. The crying will be over. The toxicity will be over. Will it be easy? Absolutely not. Will you get better with time? Definitely. However, the longer you keep prolonging the inevitable the longer you will be in pain.

 

It's your choice; death by 1,000 cuts or one blow. My ex put me through the ringer since last December when she started becoming distant, "confused", bla bla bla. And like an idiot I fought to salvage things. She would go from hot to cold. From caring to indifferent. My holidays sucked because I was depressed. Nothing I did or said changed anything. It was as though I was destined to "lose". She broke things off with me after an argument and 2 weeks later after NC she came back and we dated again for a while, but eventually the same things happened.

 

I got sick and tired of the emotional roller-coaster ride, wrote her a letter, and basically ended it myself and I told her that you will never see me again and if you want to have a normal relationship with me you'll know what to do. The last time I saw her was March 11th and I have been in NC since then. Was it easy? No. Were there days I missed her? Absolutely. But you know what? I'm slowly on my way back to normalcy. I don't feel miserable anymore, nor do I sit at home alone feeling all depressed. My life is slowly getting to where it used to be. I took down all her photos and hid them away and removed her number from my mobile.

 

You see, the truth is this. If she had feelings for me and cared about me she wouldn't be able to go so many days without seeing or talking to me. I have not heard from her, because she has no feelings for me. That's the truth and reality of the situation, but I choose to have some honor and dignity and not chase after someone who has made their intentions clear. My pride will not allow me to lower myself to that level.

 

I am a healthy, handsome, educated, intelligent man with great values from a normal family. I have many things to offer, but trying to force this upon someone who will not have me is disrespecting myself first and foremost. My pride will not allow me to do so. This is why I chose to end it.

 

This is why you must do the same.

 

All you are doing is setting yourself up for disappointment.

 

 

You have several good, valid points.

[i11]

How about meeting in person when the result of pregnancy test comes out?

 

If nothing happens, then you dont have to meet him at all.

 

I dont think meeting him in person would be a good idea for you under the current circumstance. You said you wouldnt expect anything, but deep down in your heart, have you ever doubted your thought for at least a second? As you've said, you're still broken, both physcially and mentally, it is impossible for you to lower the expectation of this meeting subconsciously. His hesitation or any attitude, which could possibly make you feel worse, could lead to another heartbreak or total breakdown.

 

My suggestion: call off the date and give yourself some more time, dont rush it, sooner or later, you will find yourself benefit from this nc period to build up yourself strong enough to cope with breakup.

[TryingtoUnderstand32]

How about meeting in person when the result of pregnancy test comes out?

 

If nothing happens, then you dont have to meet him at all.

 

I dont think meeting him in person would be a good idea for you under the current circumstance. You said you wouldnt expect anything, but deep down in your heart, have you ever doubted your thought for at least a second? As you've said, you're still broken, both physcially and mentally, it is impossible for you to lower the expectation of this meeting subconsciously. His hesitation or any attitude, which could possibly make you feel worse, could lead to another heartbreak or total breakdown.

 

My suggestion: call off the date and give yourself some more time, dont rush it, sooner or later, you will find yourself benefit from this nc period to build up yourself strong enough to cope with breakup.

 

Already met with him. But thank you.

[TryingtoUnderstand32]

I'm about 3.5 months post breakup, and trust me, it took a while to get to this point. I know what you mean, we were texting all the time- and like the same, it was all the benefits of a relationship but no commitment. But at some point, you need to stand up for yourself, and say to yourself that you won't settle for a half-assed relationship. You have to treat him like a drug, and wean yourself off, but once you get tired of the situation, you can quit him cold turkey. Took me a while, the first 2 days were the hardest, and I'm now on day 11 of NC. I feel so much better without all the mixed messages. I deleted his number to make it easier not to text. Doesn't help that I have his number memorized, but having to take the time to manually type his number in gives me a few moments to think and decide not to send the text. Just make a mini goal, of a week NC, and see how you feel once you make it that far. Then stretch the goal from there.

 

I told him that I couldn't have any contact with him while he doesn't know what he wants. I told him if he decides he wants to salvage our relationship within a reasonable amount of time, and I'm still available..than I may be open to talking. He didn't like the no contact idea..I still have a hard time understanding why he won't be with me but he wants to still have contact.