When Does Your Past be come a problem for the furture

[memleewill]

Me and my boyfriend are an on again off again couple that have the art of breaking up and making up. We are trying the long distance thing as of right now with the intentions of me moving in with him. He has never cheated on me but he is a natural flirt (part of what attracked me to him) he is always happy and girls seem to like him he tells me there is nothing wrong with talking and i agree with him but in the same since i get scared and he thinks i am being silly when i tell him this and that no one wants an almost 40 year old man. It has been 10 years since i have been in a relationship. This is by choice the last one ended bably and hurt both me and my child. I now have a hard time trusting anyone but myself and i know that i am in love with this man but getting past the old things that have happened and into a new life is becoming hard. does anyone have any tips on how to forget and forgive for past mistakes?

[ComputerJock]

I wonder if you past is a problem, or if you have a past of being hurt, as most of us LS's posters have, and you now see red flags in others actions and use them to predict the future. If we don't study our pasts we are doomed to repeat our mistakes, unfortunatley I know I do.

[Kelemort]

ComputerJock makes a good point - was your ex a big flirt who ended up in bed with other people, or making open, obvious passes at other women? You may just be noticing those traits in your new beau, which is a warning sign equipped to protect you from encountering the same problem again.