sinkerswim Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 As I write this...my boyfriend./fiance/ex....whatever... Is also on the computer right now.... I am sooo sooo tempted to just IM him to see how he is. But I KNOW I cant. I have to stop myself. But I want him to see my name and think of me. I know it will hurt when he will just log off and not IM me. But, I dont expect him too. I know he is probably playing cards on Pogo or something...thats what he usually does... But I am sooo tempted to IM him. I am sooo sad. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 Why can't you? Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 if u dont want to tempt urself, take his name off ur buddylist. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sinkerswim Posted April 4, 2004 Author Share Posted April 4, 2004 I guess I am afraid of rejection...him maybe not responding or worse...blocking me. If he would be that mean. But I would doubt he would block me. Im the one who set up his account in the first place. I want to keep it on my list...I guess so I know when hes on the computer and home. I dont know...sounds bizarre. But, it gives me some weird kind of comfort..but in the same sense..I am upset. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 if your r/s is over, it's best not to IM him indeed. in fact, it's best to ensure you don't know if he's online or not - can you do that? then you'll simply forget abt it, after a while, trust me - been there!! good luck. getting over ppl takes time -yes Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted April 4, 2004 Share Posted April 4, 2004 I used to be like that. I'd delete my ex from my buddylist, but then I'd wonder if she was online and if she'd IM me, so I'd check to see if she was online. Useless cycle. Link to post Share on other sites
bella8464 Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 i know what thats like. everytime i heard someone sign on, id check my buddy list to see if it was my ex. if it wasnt, my heart would sink. if it was, id sit there and see if hed IM me. and when he didnt and signed off, id get all sad. i would add and delete him on my buddy list constantly. i found the best thing to do was not only take him off the buddy list, but avoid going on the computer when i knew he was likely to be on. Link to post Share on other sites
claudia Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 i'm still in that cycle of adding and deleting but i just left it on.In some sick way i wish he would delete me if that made any sense. Sometimes he would IM me with just a simple ello and sometimes nothing . I can't understand why i torture myself like that, well maybe in time I'll get over him . Link to post Share on other sites
tom_gbr Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 i would be really tempted to send my ex a message but i know for a fact that she has blocked me.... she used to be online all the time and now she ever is hurts even more though as its not like our relationship finished badly or anything...she said it would mean a lot to her coming out of this as friends so i feel like a big pile of **** Link to post Share on other sites
claudia Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 i feel like u tom maybe everyone got that we'll be friends after line . Its a lot of Bs even my breakup was not bad and now he can't seem to talk like friends its always strange . I pray everyday to be release of this pain Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 Change your identity....talk to him as someone else to see what he says about his PAST relationship. OKAY... BAD IDEA!! Hang in there Sink...you are doing great!!! I had to delete all my buddy/IM systems to keep from being tempted. Link to post Share on other sites
tom_gbr Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 im not even sure at all though that we come out of this as friends. for the last week and a bit we have spoken once which went ok but i told her that i wouldnt contact her for a while as im finding this all very hard. the next night in my drunken state i texted her saying that i was missing her....not good....the next night after that she texted me saying that she was missing me. this got 2 me as she was the one who finished it as she didnt want to be with me anymore so i thought it was very unfair her saying this to me as she knows how strong my feelings are. i text her saying this and asking whats going on inside her head. she replied very rudely and said that i told her to text me and tell me if shes missing me....which isnt true i said for her to text me if she felt like it to see how i was. she then said that she will never text me again! i knew she emant it at the time as she didnt put a kiss on the end of her message and she always has. she puts one on the end of her messages to everyone she knows. i didnt even get one and im her ex boyfriend of 6 months so she missed be pissed off. i text her back trying to explain how im not coping wiht all this and trying to explain that her contact me and saying that she was missing me wasnt a good idea as it messed my head up. she never replied. i had to text her today to find out if she was angry or hurt. she text back and said very abruptly ' no im not, never was, please stop sending me these messages' no kiss or anything and thats how its been left......i text back saying ' ok thats all i wanted to know, hope we still can be close friends, will take time x ' if like ****.....i know it sounds stupid but the thing that hurt the most is the fact that she has stopped putting kisses on the end of her messages to me....she puts them on the end to everyone....and now im not even worth it? Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 yes, you'll be looking him up to see if he's online, but after a while, you'll do it more rarely, and eventually one day, you'll simply forget to check. worked for me! just keep him deleted off your buddy list, girl. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
nikkilove Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 I'm with everyone who suggested to delete the name from your buddy list! Eventually, you won't think about it as much anymore. As long as the name remains, you'll be tempted. And that is not good. Link to post Share on other sites
lady104 Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 Omg I'm in the same situation as you. I know exactly how you feel, although probably obsessive. Do you find that if he's online you wonder what he's up to? Or if he's offline, whether he's out and checking out fit birds? Do you message him sometimes, and find yourself having palpitations, hanging onto his every word and thinking of all interpretations of the simple things he says? Is he like top of your buddy list, so you can't ignore? Is this a guy who probably wants nothing to do with you, so you sometimes feel you're stalking? Can you not resist clicking, or checking when you last messaged? When he's offline, do you sometimes check if he's really online and blocking you? (On MSN) - Sometimes, I WISH this was the case, that would give me a reason to block him too! Yes to all for me! It feels like you're close but so far apart. I was told to delete, but what if we become friends, when you add he'll get a message saying u just re-added him, which will look dumb. On MSN, you can find out if someone's blocking you. Probably some way with AOL too. Other options: (btw, I am a certified loser) I tried labelling him as "don't click", which helped for a while, but then I grew an attraction to that small phrase, still getting excited everytime "don't click" came online. I also tried making another Buddy Group called "He Dumped Me!" where he was the only member, placed right at the bottom of my list. I still kept scrolling down to see if he was online. Another thing, tried bulking up my buddy list, by meeting people on websites and chat - they all turned out to be big-time perverts/losers, eventually blocked and deleted, but they did distract me for a while. You can still stalk his online activities while chatting to someone else (possibly about him). Like you, I wish I was blocked, but in a way, I like to know we are still mates bothways. But you know what, just like we're having all these issues trying to forget, and stalking his online activities, maybe he has some attachment too. Maybe he likes the comfort of seeing our name online, but is too cool to message/admit it. I dunno, never will understand men. I have no solution so far, but will let you know as and when I find one. Link to post Share on other sites
tom_gbr Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 you said that u can check if someone has blocked you on MSN? how do you do this? im interested to know. as my ex girlfriend hasnt been online in ages....well since she finished it which is a coinsidence : ( Link to post Share on other sites
lady104 Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 Just to let everyone know out there, on MSN to check if someone's online when they appear offline in your friends list (ie. you've been blocked), Visit: http://www.mess.be (left-hand column "MSN BlockChecker") http://www.msnfanatic.com (Triople BlockChecker) Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 Seeing them online does not help you move on. I felt the same way you guys did. You feel much better when you delete their name. trust me Link to post Share on other sites
lady104 Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 Deleting is always going to be the best way! But WHAT IF... you're still in love, and feel it's too harsh a thing to do? What if you expect them to change their minds someday, and need to add them again? What if you want to do "the friends thing"? You wouldn't delete a friend, would you? Link to post Share on other sites
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