whichwayisup Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 I could care less about the wife. If that's harsh, oh well, it's honest. And yes, I am absolutely positively certain I am the only one he talks to. Wow, harsh is right. So why did you tell her? In hopes that she'd kick him out and he'd be yours? Hmm, your MM is a skilled liar, so you're choosing to believe someone who lied to his wife, the woman he said vows to. You believe that he'd never lie or omit truths from you? She didn't know about you before, right? You don't know if he has another OW.. Unless you track his cell use and follow him around 24/7, listen and watch what he does, you don't know for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Breezy Trousers Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 I could care less about the wife. If that's harsh, oh well, it's honest. And yes, I am absolutely positively certain I am the only one he talks to. It's impossible for you to be certain. He's proven himself to be a liar. You can't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessica232 Posted April 8, 2011 Author Share Posted April 8, 2011 It's impossible for you to be certain. He's proven himself to be a liar. You can't know. Oh I know. My MM is not what you'd imagine as a cheating husband. He's not the dapper, sophisticated, handsome GQ man. To put it bluntly, he's nerdy. And his attractiveness is 100% in my eyes. He's also VERY nonsocial. He doesn't drink, doesn't have a lot of friends, and he keeps to himself entirely. The only reason I got to know him is because of work. And I'm pretty much the only girl at work. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 Oh I know. My MM is not what you'd imagine as a cheating husband. He's not the dapper, sophisticated, handsome GQ man. To put it bluntly, he's nerdy. And his attractiveness is 100% in my eyes. He's also VERY nonsocial. He doesn't drink, doesn't have a lot of friends, and he keeps to himself entirely. The only reason I got to know him is because of work. And I'm pretty much the only girl at work. I have no image of a MM man other than without legs and moving slowing in a diagonal pattern. So it sounds like the one you are with fits my image perfectly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessica232 Posted April 9, 2011 Author Share Posted April 9, 2011 I have no image of a MM man other than without legs and moving slowing in a diagonal pattern. So it sounds like the one you are with fits my image perfectly. lol...not my MM;) Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 lol...not my MM;) Sure. :lmao::lmao::lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 Oh I know. My MM is not what you'd imagine as a cheating husband. He's not the dapper, sophisticated, handsome GQ man. To put it bluntly, he's nerdy. And his attractiveness is 100% in my eyes. He's also VERY nonsocial. He doesn't drink, doesn't have a lot of friends, and he keeps to himself entirely. The only reason I got to know him is because of work. And I'm pretty much the only girl at work. But, he's still a cheating husband. Rich, poor, fat, skinny, GQ, or a geek, he's still lying and cheating on his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 (edited) =Jessica232;3330216How are his intentions not upfront (with me) if he's told me he needs to try to do what's right? no he's not doing what's right. his actions don't match his words = which means he lies. so you are connected to a liar. doing what's right would mean he's focusing all his time, attention and energy on his M - since that's what he's led his wife to believe he's doing... but he's not DOING that. he has no integrity, how could you respect him? I KNOW he's not doing that, but in his mind, he's staying and trying to make things work. no, he's not - read the above. He hasn't given me ANY false hope. makes me sad for you that this is enough for your happiness... it shouldn't be. I stay because I choose to stay. yes, you do. why are you willing to short change yourself for a man who offers you little? he's not leaving - he said so... you should want more for yourself than that. I definitely love him, and the bottom line is, it's fun for now! it won't be fun for long... it never is with a liar and a cheat. be honest with yourself...please! do that for you. stop allowing it. Edited April 9, 2011 by 2sunny Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 Oh I know. My MM is not what you'd imagine as a cheating husband. He's not the dapper, sophisticated, handsome GQ man. To put it bluntly, he's nerdy. And his attractiveness is 100% in my eyes. He's also VERY nonsocial. He doesn't drink, doesn't have a lot of friends, and he keeps to himself entirely. The only reason I got to know him is because of work. And I'm pretty much the only girl at work. So the cheating husband has to be suave or he just isn't a cheater enough? =Jessica232;3330216 no he's not doing what's right. his actions don't match his words = which means he lies. so you are connected to a liar. doing what's right would mean he's focusing all his time, attention and energy on his M - since that's what he's led his wife to believe he's doing... but he's not DOING that. he has no integrity, how could you respect him? no, he's not - read the above. makes me sad for you that this is enough for your happiness... it shouldn't be. yes, you do. why are you willing to short change yourself for a man who offers you little? he's not leaving - he said so... you should want more for yourself than that. it won't be fun for long... it never is with a liar and a cheat. be honest with yourself...please! do that for you. stop allowing it. Logic doesn't seem to be processable in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessica232 Posted April 9, 2011 Author Share Posted April 9, 2011 =Jessica232;3330216 no he's not doing what's right. his actions don't match his words = which means he lies. so you are connected to a liar. doing what's right would mean he's focusing all his time, attention and energy on his M - since that's what he's led his wife to believe he's doing... but he's not DOING that. he has no integrity, how could you respect him? no, he's not - read the above. makes me sad for you that this is enough for your happiness... it shouldn't be. yes, you do. why are you willing to short change yourself for a man who offers you little? he's not leaving - he said so... you should want more for yourself than that. it won't be fun for long... it never is with a liar and a cheat. be honest with yourself...please! do that for you. stop allowing it. I guess you missed the post where I said I'm seeing other people. I get what I want from MM, but I also keep my options open. I'm a pretty smart girl, I know how to get what I want. I always do. And right now, I'm getting MY cake, and it's fun!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessica232 Posted April 9, 2011 Author Share Posted April 9, 2011 So the cheating husband has to be suave or he just isn't a cheater enough? Logic doesn't seem to be processable in this situation. Sorry my logic doesn't coincide with your idea of logic. Link to post Share on other sites
1956peace Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 jessica232, Honey, why are you letting this all happen, this is not going to end well for you, look what kind of man you are involved with he is willing to hurt all of you. Is this really someone you want to end up with? And think about what you are doing to another woman, as a woman you need to respect her and her children, he certainly won't...... You have a chance to set this straight and really go out and meet someone that can fully commit to just you, that feeling jessica is unbelievable and as long as you allow this man to be in your life you will never have that.......... you want someone who wouldn't hurt others for his own selfish needs........ you deserve this........stop kidding yourself...... Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 Sorry my logic doesn't coincide with your idea of logic. Sorry that your logic includes being in an affair with other's spouses for your own "fun." It may be wise to consider preserving your dignity and the dignity of others first instead of pursuing fun first. Link to post Share on other sites
Heart On Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 I guess you missed the post where I said I'm seeing other people. I get what I want from MM, but I also keep my options open. I'm a pretty smart girl, I know how to get what I want. I always do. And right now, I'm getting MY cake, and it's fun!! It's fun to play games with someone's marriage? If you don't LOVE this man with all you are...step BACK!~ Give him the chance to see it if he can forget the sex you used to hook him with fades from his mind enough to remember his vows! My gawd.You give OW a bad name! Shameless.It's obvious he isn't using you, you have some sort of agenda here and he seems like easy prey to me.What happens when he DOES leave his marriage? Where will you be then? On a date? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessica232 Posted April 9, 2011 Author Share Posted April 9, 2011 It's fun to play games with someone's marriage? If you don't LOVE this man with all you are...step BACK!~ Give him the chance to see it if he can forget the sex you used to hook him with fades from his mind enough to remember his vows! My gawd.You give OW a bad name! Shameless.It's obvious he isn't using you, you have some sort of agenda here and he seems like easy prey to me.What happens when he DOES leave his marriage? Where will you be then? On a date? I love him more than I've ever loved anyone, and there's nothing I want more than to be with him. I said I know how to get what I want....which is him divorcing. My dating other people is helping, quite a bit, with that agenda. And if he doesn't leave, sooner or later I'll meet someone else that I'm into. That's why I keep my options open. I'm a very pretty girl, and I definitely have many opportunities. Either way, it will end well for me.....he leaves the marriage and we're together, or he doesn't, and we keep our emotional connection until I meet someone else and forget him. And if the latter happens, well hey, he deserves the hurt! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 Perhaps you should show him this thread so you both are on the same page for what you are getting into. I don't mean that maliciously. Link to post Share on other sites
Heart On Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 I love him more than I've ever loved anyone, and there's nothing I want more than to be with him. I said I know how to get what I want....which is him divorcing. My dating other people is helping, quite a bit, with that agenda. And if he doesn't leave, sooner or later I'll meet someone else that I'm into. That's why I keep my options open. I'm a very pretty girl, and I definitely have many opportunities. Either way, it will end well for me.....he leaves the marriage and we're together, or he doesn't, and we keep our emotional connection until I meet someone else and forget him. And if the latter happens, well hey, he deserves the hurt! Why even put him,his family or yourself thru all this when there are plenty of single men out there? What attracts you to unavailable men? I could tell you why I fell into a MM arms had nothing to do with having healthy self esteem or a good sense of worth about myself. Nor was it because the man I fell for was in anyway trustworthy with my heart. You do realize that it is more than probable that he will cheat on you one day too,right? That is to say,what makes you anymore special than his wife was the day he chose to marry her only to cheat on her when he got bored sexually. I have to say that your agenda is manipulative and that karma is a bitch! I assume you have no intention of stepping away and allowing him the chance to actually work on his marriage,without you influencing his choices in anyway.That to me says this has nothing to do with loving him, but of wanting to "win" over his wife.And if you think about it,is her life the kind you would want? You are engaged in a triangulation and someone WILL get hurt and it will most likely be you. But from your justifications and rationalizations it's obvious that you are blind to what the outcome could be. I can tell you the aftermath is about as humilating and ego blowing as it gets and it has taken me years to heal from my mistake in trusting a MM. but hey......it's your life to ruin. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 It's fun to play games with someone's marriage? If you don't LOVE this man with all you are...step BACK!~ Give him the chance to see it if he can forget the sex you used to hook him with fades from his mind enough to remember his vows! My gawd.You give OW a bad name! Shameless.It's obvious he isn't using you, you have some sort of agenda here and he seems like easy prey to me.What happens when he DOES leave his marriage? Where will you be then? On a date? Whoa, why such a harsh post? I think she is very rational and even minded about the situation. Why shouldn't she date others, remember he does have a wife. Why does the level of love dictate whether or not one should be in an affair? I am sure there are many who will greatly disagree that love "okays" an affair. He he wants the chance to "forget the sex" well he is a big boy and can put on his big boy panties and do it. Why is the OW needing to make those decisions for him? He is not powerless in this, in fact he holds a great deal of power and he is cake eating at this point under the guise that he isn't cake eating! I am sorry but I don't think the OP gives OW a bad name, what are the characteristics of a good OW then? I know my feelings for my MM but I do not negate others for having different arrangements. And dating others is actually a very good idea while in a EMR, it is very realistic approach. I think you are projecting your beliefs and feelings onto the OP. Jessica - if the arrangement makes you happy, and you have your boundaries in place so your are putting yourself as a priority then I think you are good to go. I have my concerns on him and his level of accountability. I think he sounds like a conflict avoider so please take care of you. But if you are happy then I am happy for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Carrot2000 Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 And if he doesn't leave, sooner or later I'll meet someone else that I'm into. That's why I keep my options open. I'm a very pretty girl, and I definitely have many opportunities. Either way, it will end well for me.....he leaves the marriage and we're together, or he doesn't, and we keep our emotional connection until I meet someone else and forget him. And if the latter happens, well hey, he deserves the hurt! Does MM know how manipulative and self-centered you are? This man has no idea of the $hitstorm he's getting into by dealing with you...I almost feel sorry for the poor sap. Almost. I suppose in the end you'll both get what you deserve. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessica232 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 Whoa, why such a harsh post? I think she is very rational and even minded about the situation. Why shouldn't she date others, remember he does have a wife. Why does the level of love dictate whether or not one should be in an affair? I am sure there are many who will greatly disagree that love "okays" an affair. He he wants the chance to "forget the sex" well he is a big boy and can put on his big boy panties and do it. Why is the OW needing to make those decisions for him? He is not powerless in this, in fact he holds a great deal of power and he is cake eating at this point under the guise that he isn't cake eating! I am sorry but I don't think the OP gives OW a bad name, what are the characteristics of a good OW then? I know my feelings for my MM but I do not negate others for having different arrangements. And dating others is actually a very good idea while in a EMR, it is very realistic approach. I think you are projecting your beliefs and feelings onto the OP. Jessica - if the arrangement makes you happy, and you have your boundaries in place so your are putting yourself as a priority then I think you are good to go. I have my concerns on him and his level of accountability. I think he sounds like a conflict avoider so please take care of you. But if you are happy then I am happy for you. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jessica232 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 Does MM know how manipulative and self-centered you are? This man has no idea of the $hitstorm he's getting into by dealing with you...I almost feel sorry for the poor sap. Almost. I suppose in the end you'll both get what you deserve. Yep, he knows me better than anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Bionic Me Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 \ Definitely disagree. I feel nothing but respect. I'm more secure now than ever. He's meeting my needs, while still(in his mind) trying to do what's right. I'm not pressuring him to get out of his situation, as I'm still in mine. He's not showing me disrespect, the disrespect is going to the W. He respects the boundaries I've set. Obviously, his path is NOT toward his wife. If it was, there would be NC. I encourage him to seek counseling because I know in his mind he's trying to do the right thing, but struggling greatly with it, and I know what the outcome will be. *facepalm* With all due respect, please seek some couseling for yourself. This is absurd and sounds like there are serious issues here. Doesn't ring any tone of a well balanced or kind hearted plot. Link to post Share on other sites
Bionic Me Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Definitely not bent out of shape. I post here for the feedback, and I expect most of it to not be "what I want to hear". It definitely helps in the moments I'm mad. But for the most part, I realize no one knows the situation, or the people we are. You're posting. We are reading. The people you are: He's a lying wothless MM. His W needs to be smacked to reality and leave this POS. You are believing all his nonsense and need some reality smack yourself. You actually have the best possibilities but you swear like you know the outcome. We'll sit back and wait for 4 months of your precious life to go by and you'll gives us the update, ok?! OK. Link to post Share on other sites
Bionic Me Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 I could care less about the wife. If that's harsh, oh well, it's honest. And yes, I am absolutely positively certain I am the only one he talks to. Honestly, the bolded speaks volumes of YOU. Not anyone else in this scenario. You get what you deserve and get treated as you deserve. Poor guy... Link to post Share on other sites
Bionic Me Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 It's fun to play games with someone's marriage? If you don't LOVE this man with all you are...step BACK!~ Give him the chance to see it if he can forget the sex you used to hook him with fades from his mind enough to remember his vows! My gawd.You give OW a bad name! Shameless.It's obvious he isn't using you, you have some sort of agenda here and he seems like easy prey to me.What happens when he DOES leave his marriage? Where will you be then? On a date?[/QUOTE] :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao: How sad. This starting to sound like a pure joke... *checks out* Link to post Share on other sites
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