young adults who don't work because of social anxiety

[orangelady]

On Facebook, I came across many people mostly around the ages of 25-35 who have a story very similiar to this guy who wrote about his situation to me:

 

"I'm not surprised some people get more money to stay at home than work in the UK. It is a really screwed up system. I'm thankful for it on one hand, because when you are unemployed, you need all the help you can get, but at the same time i feel it is too easy/tempting to have several generations in one family that never work because they have no need to.

 

I'll be honest, i don't have a job and the closest i ever came to having one was a 1 month work trial. For me personally, i suffer from severe social anxiety disorder and if i am in an enclosed space with lots of people, i have panic attacks. I enjoyed working when it was quiet but when it got too busy, i couldn't handle it. However, that is something i am working very hard at trying to get over so i can move forward in life. I dislike the idea of not working. Financially, i am better off without a job but i feel so useless in not doing anything. Maybe i will get lucky and become a writer."

 

This guy, didn't go to University/College either. I mean, why would he want to if he has no plans to work?

 

Strangely enough, there was another guy that I was talking to also said he doesn't work because he has social disorder. Do you think this is a growing concern?

 

I can understand that oh yes, life is hard. There are mean people everywhere. It may cripple you. But is that why people don't want to work? Sometimes I just think it's an excuse. It also tells me that people don't want to change themselves. Like, "Look, I can't do this, that, etc. I have ADD." People don't want to take responsibility for themselves, from mortgage to personalities to work to everything.

 

Even if you don't like people, that doesn't mean you need to quickly get a diagnose and be labelled as having social disorder and it doesn't mean you can't work. Get a job where you work less with people then.

 

I think in progressive nations, they don't feel the need to work because they are financially better off than having a job. Their governments are rich. If you look at other countries that are not 'first world'. They seldom have the time to be depressed. It does not mean they do not face 'bullies' at work. It's even worse because it's so competitive. Everyone wants to be better than each other. Time is money. Some people even work 3-4 jobs just to have something to eat for the day and roof over their heads. So what is the purpose of life? You obviously don't need to go to school, because you don't need a job. So these people stay home and go online and that's about it. If this guy was your son, what would you say to him?

 

Is it life when you stay home everyday, not be a part of society and have a stable job to support yourself? Can this person even find a date in the future? Would someone love someone who refuses to work and just wants to live in his own world?

Edited April 4, 2011 by orangelady

[Dust]

Life isn’t about money. If you have a sustainable way of supporting yourself then that’s good. Even if I won the lottery I would work on things and have projects. If you want to be writer then you should do it. You’re already making a living so might as well write.

[Feelin Frisky]

To get out of work for something like that it should have to be severe to the point of suicidal ideation and/or real outward panic attacks where EMS has to be called IMO. Somebody has to work to pay others to stay home so it's not fair to them to carry the burden of those who can work but don't try. That's it in a nutshell.

[orangelady]

To get out of work for something like that it should have to be severe to the point of suicidal ideation and/or real outward panic attacks where EMS has to be called IMO. Somebody has to work to pay others to stay home so it's not fair to them to carry the burden of those who can work but don't try. That's it in a nutshell.

 

 

Exacto mundo. I think it's not fair when real people who CAN'T work for obvious reasons like a disabled body or something should be the ones who get financial aid. I see it as an excuse. I have ADD/ADHD, so I can't work. Geezus.

[betterdeal]

It's a poverty trap. If you want stable housing and income, and a peaceful life, relying on the state is often the only way to achieve that in the UK. Housing is the biggest problem that is often overlooked. It costs 3 times as much salary to buy property now than it did in the late 70s. At the same time, jobs are less secure and wage differences are much higher, so the real cost has risen even more than that for most people, and rental property rights have been eroded by successive landlord-friendly governments.

 

What social housing there is, with it's secure tenancy agreements and high standard of maintenance is prioritised to those deemed to be in most need. So they end up trapped. As soon as they have a label or a baby that gives them a roof over their heads and a steady income, they are several steps ahead of the majority of their generation.

 

I am forced to pay National Insurance, supposedly to give me a state pension. However, the state has said that pension will be nugatory by the time I get it. The state has even decided to interfere in my private pension and say that I cannot retire at 50 if I choose to with my own private pension. The entire pension industry - state and private - is a massive pyramid scheme and I'm at the bottom, with a f*ckload of baby boomers determined to squeeze every penny out of me to afford the lifestyle they choose.

 

The same baby-boomers are the landlords. They are the people who gained most from the housing bubble as first time buyers bought from them. The state is doing all it can to sustain the housing bubble as rent and equity release is a major source of income for the baby boomers.

 

I earn twice the national average and cannot afford a reasonably nice place in a reasonably nice area. I can only do a job I don't like for so long. 14 years in this industry is enough for me. I'm quitting. I doubt I will go on benefits - I have a new career I'm working towards. I just won't be part of this ridiculous charade to keep on pampering the baby boomers.

 

Don't blame the player - blame the game.

Edited April 4, 2011 by betterdeal

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I have severe social anxiety, and have panic attacks. I've quit every job I've ever had, because I've not been able to handle the anxiety.

 

That being said, I was turned down for financial support by the state, because they said I didn't have social anxiety.

 

It's not so easy to get state support. Unless you walk into the office, and you're showing severe signs or symptoms, people write you off as being "normal." My panic attacks come out of nowhere, I can't control when they occur.

[tinktronik]

What I think is that all of you claiming that it should be "more severe" or "shouldn't qualify" have never dealt with the terror of panic attacks or what it is to have a social anxiety disorder or have a close loved one with it. I think it's sad that you feel it okay to make judgements on people without any real idea of what you're talking about.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

^ Agreed.

 

Walk a mile in my shoes. Then maybe you'd understand.

[Jonesonaboat]

I hear a lot of this on my facebook.

I think some people just need a kick up the backside. They use it as an excuse to be lazy and do nothing all day every day. You didn't see people doing it back in like the day of my grandparents, because people had no choice BUT to go out and work to provide for themselves and their family. You give people the opportunity to do nothing but sit infront of a TV/computer all day every day and have everything payed for them, and there will be people who take it.

 

I have every bit of respect for people who haven't got a job but are genuinly trying as much as they can. These are tough times for jobs. But really, people who work the system and give nothing back make me sick. Also, people who do have genuine issues, I totally understand. My rant is aimed at the people who just use these social issues/illnesses as an excuse to avoid having responsibilities.

 

My sisters on/off fiance is a prime example which mainly where all the anger for people like that stems from. In and out of prison (he's actually been to court today) and always in some trouble. He keeps coming up with dumb schemes like buying/selling cars (and expecting money from other people to get him going) fixing game consoles or breeding birds at home. JUST GO OUT AND GET A REAL JOB! He faked being depressed and suicidal just so he can claim an extra £10 a week. He does nothing all day but sit in front of the his big flat screen tv, smoking weed, playing games on his brand new laptop and hey, the best part of all that is I work 40-50 hour weeks to pay for that!! I work at Burger King. I hate it but hey, I'm proud that I go to work 5 days a week, work my ass off and earn every penny I make!

 

Okay, rant over!!!!!

Edited April 5, 2011 by Jonesonaboat

[tinktronik]

I hear a lot of this on my facebook.

I think some people just need a kick up the backside. They use it as an excuse to be lazy and do nothing all day every day. You didn't see people doing it back in like the day of my grandparents, because people had no choice BUT to go out and work to provide for themselves and their family. You give people the opportunity to do nothing but sit infront of a TV/computer all day every day and have everything payed for them, and there will be people who take it.

 

I have every bit of respect for people who haven't got a job but are genuinly trying as much as they can. These are tough times for jobs. But really, people who work the system and give nothing back make me sick. Also, people who do have genuine issues, I totally understand. My rant is aimed at the people who just use these social issues/illnesses as an excuse to avoid having responsibilities.

 

My sisters on/off fiance is a prime example which mainly where all the anger for people like that stems from. In and out of prison (he's actually been to court today) and always in some trouble. He keeps coming up with dumb schemes like buying/selling cars (and expecting money from other people to get him going) fixing game consoles or breeding birds at home. JUST GO OUT AND GET A REAL JOB! He faked being depressed and suicidal just so he can claim an extra £10 a week. He does nothing all day but sit in front of the his big flat screen tv, smoking weed, playing games on his brand new laptop and hey, the best part of all that is I work 40-50 hour weeks to pay for that!! I work at Burger King. I hate it but hey, I'm proud that I go to work 5 days a week, work my ass off and earn every penny I make!

 

Okay, rant over!!!!!

 

Yes, you did see it in your grandparents day. They called them recluses back them and there were plenty of people with anxiety disorders then too. Pshhh

 

This thread is basically just a rant against young people or lazy people (whether that was intended by the OP or not IDK) and it has somehow been couched as a way to bash people and downplay the seriousness of a very real mental illness. Shame on all of you. Why don't we open up a thread bashing people with diabetes or heart disease, after all, you can't SEE heart disease.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Jones, you don't have social anxiety.

 

Go get an anxiety disorder. Better yet, go have a severe panic attack, where you pass out and end up in the hospital, and then come back and tell me I don't have anxiety.

 

Wanker.

[Dust]

Jones, you don't have social anxiety.

 

Go get an anxiety disorder. Better yet, go have a severe panic attack, where you pass out and end up in the hospital, and then come back and tell me I don't have anxiety.

 

Wanker.

 

Do you also have rude disorder? Why get so angry at people who don't agree with you? The state didn't agree with you.

 

Don't feel sorry for yourself. I hear many people with this disorder went on to acomplish great things despite of it. We all have our challenges.

[orangelady]

What I think is that all of you claiming that it should be "more severe" or "shouldn't qualify" have never dealt with the terror of panic attacks or what it is to have a social anxiety disorder or have a close loved one with it. I think it's sad that you feel it okay to make judgements on people without any real idea of what you're talking about.

 

 

It's fine if you feel that way about me. I have all the symptoms of what a social anxiety disorder or panic attack person would have but where I live there is no such thing as public funds or disability or government aid for such conditions. There is also no medication for such conditions unless you are very wealthy to buy them. So with all my panics and fears, I still need to go into work or class or whatever it is that I have to do because our government doesn't have the money or time or law for all this. It's either I force myself to go into work or I live on streets.

 

I have a fear of speaking in front of a group and meeting new people and in my job, I had to do some things like that. I was so scared I peed in my pants a little. I also got sick the night before and after. This is just one example.

 

 

I'm just saying that I don't have the opportunity to just quit my job and stay home because of these symptoms. In a way, I am glad I don't get to. Otherwise, I don't know what will become of me.

 

I guess I would say if you were put in a situation like mine, where you didn't have a choice, things would be different.

[orangelady]

Do you also have rude disorder? Why get so angry at people who don't agree with you? The state didn't agree with you.

 

Don't feel sorry for yourself. I hear many people with this disorder went on to acomplish great things despite of it. We all have our challenges.

 

Yeah, that's true. Seriously, we ALL have our sh*t.......the best way is to just face it. It won't be easy, but one step at a time.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Do you also have rude disorder? Why get so angry at people who don't agree with you? The state didn't agree with you.

 

Don't feel sorry for yourself. I hear many people with this disorder went on to acomplish great things despite of it. We all have our challenges.

 

What Jones said was rude.

 

I suppose autism doesn't exist either. Or Bipolar, or Schizophrenia?

[tinktronik]

It's fine if you feel that way about me. I have all the symptoms of what a social anxiety disorder or panic attack person would have but where I live there is no such thing as public funds or disability or government aid for such conditions. There is also no medication for such conditions unless you are very wealthy to buy them. So with all my panics and fears, I still need to go into work or class or whatever it is that I have to do because our government doesn't have the money or time or law for all this. It's either I force myself to go into work or I live on streets.

 

I have a fear of speaking in front of a group and meeting new people and in my job, I had to do some things like that. I was so scared I peed in my pants a little. I also got sick the night before and after. This is just one example.

 

 

I'm just saying that I don't have the opportunity to just quit my job and stay home because of these symptoms. In a way, I am glad I don't get to. Otherwise, I don't know what will become of me.

 

I guess I would say if you were put in a situation like mine, where you didn't have a choice, things would be different.

 

Or your anxiety disorder is not as severe as some other people's. There are people who live in absolute squalor because they are trapped by a social anxiety disorder and they do not have any access to public funds. Just because you think somehow that you have the ability to overcome your anxiety because you have to does not make that the case. It simply means that the severity is not as extreme. This is a population that I am very familiar with and work with. I know people without assistance who would literally starve to death because they CANNOT leave their homes. Others are able to overcome it or frame their lives in such a way to where they can function minimally. But more often than not the deciding factor to the life lived is severity of the disorder itself.

 

To suggest that they just won't do it or are lazy (as has been said by several posters here) or that there's nothing wrong... Well, it's just sad.

[orangelady]

Or your anxiety disorder is not as severe as some other people's. There are people who live in absolute squalor because they are trapped by a social anxiety disorder and they do not have any access to public funds. Just because you think somehow that you have the ability to overcome your anxiety because you have to does not make that the case. It simply means that the severity is not as extreme. This is a population that I am very familiar with and work with. I know people without assistance who would literally starve to death because they CANNOT leave their homes. Others are able to overcome it or frame their lives in such a way to where they can function minimally. But more often than not the deciding factor to the life lived is severity of the disorder itself.

 

To suggest that they just won't do it or are lazy (as has been said by several posters here) or that there's nothing wrong... Well, it's just sad.

 

I don't have the ability. And I have not overcome it AT all. I'm just as a loser as these people. That's what I'm trying to say.

 

I am no where near success or even overcoming all my anxiousness, anxiety, etc. But I am just saying, I have NO CHOICE. I'm not comparing who is faring better or who isn't or that *I* have overcome it.

 

I just think that, between staying home and just being out there, it's probably healthier to be out there..because it gives you hope. Maybe someday...someday, someone will be nice to me. But if I stay home all day, where is hope? I still get rejected and bullied..........but what can I do...............

 

You keep saying that's sad. It shouldn't matter what I think. It's just sad that people have to suffer all these disorders. It's sad that people have to be mean and bully others. But what's more sad is if the victim quits their job and social life because of these people.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It's clear that people don't understand people like me on here.

 

I believe this will be my last post on these forums. Goodbye.

[tinktronik]

I don't have the ability. And I have not overcome it AT all. I'm just as a loser as these people. That's what I'm trying to say.

 

I am no where near success or even overcoming all my anxiousness, anxiety, etc. But I am just saying, I have NO CHOICE. I'm not comparing who is faring better or who isn't or that *I* have overcome it.

 

I just think that, between staying home and just being out there, it's probably healthier to be out there..because it gives you hope. Maybe someday...someday, someone will be nice to me. But if I stay home all day, where is hope? I still get rejected and bullied..........but what can I do...............

 

You keep saying that's sad. It shouldn't matter what I think. It's just sad that people have to suffer all these disorders. It's sad that people have to be mean and bully others. But what's more sad is if the victim quits their job and social life because of these people.

 

Of corse it's healthier to be "out there". Social anxiety is not always about bullies or the world being hard, sometimes it's simply out of nowhere or unexplainable as to where it came from or why it is present.

 

What I find sad is that ignorance of the topic leads to downgrading the condition or the people with it to lazy.

 

What I'm telling you is that you feel like you function because you have "NO CHOICE" but there are others in your exact situation who have "NO CHOICE" and do not function, CAN NOT FUNCTION. Thus this suggests that your "NO CHIOCE" does actually have some choice involved in it whereas for others there really is no choice. It's like comparing someone who has fairly poor vision to the blind.

 

OP why would you chose to start a thread suggesting young people with social anxiety are just lazy or looking to live off the dole when you have any experience with this disorder at all? Why would you be willing to stand by while other posters state that people with this disorder are faking it or making it up?