average guy Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 Ever since I saw “The Butterfly Effect” I have had this gnawing worry about a friend of mine “altering her reality”. In short, she’s 22, and had a first boyfriend who she never slept with, and then a rather quick unemotional (read: wham-bam-thank-you-mam) first sexual experience. Then a two-year relationship, and now, she is in love with a friend of hers who is a married man with three children, and the wife is bisexual (so I think they may all end up happy!) but I have been advising her NOT to act on her love (lust?) and just remain friends with the whole family. (By the way, we are just plutonic friends who have been discussing these issues a lot recently because of her current situation). Anyway, she has lately begun talking about her first sexual experience with her first boyfriend being wonderful – even though I know they never had sex. It’s like she is mixing the reality of her first unsexual loving experience with her first sexual unloving experience. Anyway, I know orphans create parents (sometimes more than two depending on their moods, etc.) and it is sometimes consider an acceptable healing/coping mechanism, but is it o.k. for people to “blend” or alter their history to make them feel better (she is obviously happy with her version of the tale). Anyway, should I call her on it? Should I be worried about her? Or is this a normal, acceptable rewriting of her past? It isn’t hurting anyone. It’s not like she’s lying about murdering someone, it’s just her past, but she is “rearranging” it and I’m a little worried about her, even thought it seems to have a good effect on her emotional well being and makes her seem happy when she “remembers” it. Thanks A.G. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 Anyway, should I call her on it? If you are deep in a discussion, you could ask a gentle question or two, but no, I don't think it's right for you to rub her painful reality in her face. I'm a firm advocate of rewriting my past for my personal benefit if I consider it helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author average guy Posted April 5, 2004 Author Share Posted April 5, 2004 Thanks SoleMate When do you think it gets dangerous? I can't help thinking about this movie ("The Butterfly Effect") and it's put the spooks into me. Is rewriting your past a little in a harmless way that doesn't hurt anyone ok? Or is it the beginning of mentally slipping into some sort of psychosis or nerosis? Or is it just like telling yourself a "harmless little white lie" that makes you feel better so it's o.k.? Thanks A.G. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts