Comparing myself and my life with others

[Kristie16]

I tend to, especially when I'm having a down period in life, compare myself and where I am and what I'm doing in life with others. Facebook does not help this. My boyfriend just broke up with me, I'm at a temporary job assignment that I really don't like and feeling burnt out in the career that I've been doing for the past few years. I'm even thinking about changing fields.

 

I got on Facebook or hear through the grapevine what people from college are doing or the great jobs they have that take them all over the world and I get super jealous. I have to remind myself that I don't see the bad, stressful parts of their lives that everyone has. But, for example, there is one guy on Facebook that has my dream job, or so it seems. I was his boss in college and now he's doing what I want. I'm finding myself super jealous of him and I know it's not healthy.

 

This usually happens when I'm not happy with what I'm doing/where I'm at, so I get even more discouraged. Anybody do the same thing?

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I feel the same way. Although neither of us should compare our lives with others. Everyone has their own struggles, and just because it looks like someone is having a cakewalk in life, it doesn't mean they really are.

 

Everyone is flawed.

[Eve]

I don't compare myself to others.

 

I tell my kids that comparisons mainly bring about feelings of vanity or bitterness. For development sake, I think it is important to mainly be self aware and know who your heroes are..

 

At low points I re-evaluate my life but tend to concentrate on small things within the re-evaluation, to pick myself up, such as watching a sunrise and planning small events to look forward to.

 

There have been BIG shake up points in my life and these have followed on from a period of re-evaluation. So, I would say, pay close attention to the feelings you have right now. It really could be that you need a new direction.

 

For me mostly my reflections have been towards making sure I am present within my experiences and not just 'functioning' in order to get things done... but I do have a faith and believe that I have a purpose so all of that stuff is important to me.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[Pens55]

The only reason it seems people are doing better is because you're only comparing yourself when you're down.

 

When you're having a really great day/month/year, you dont need any type of validation, so you dont bother comparing. We all go through this, no worries!

[Ross MwcFan]

No matter who you are there'll always be some people who are better off in certain ways than you are, but there'll always be certain ways in which you're better off than them.

 

If you always compare yourself to others you'll probably never be able to be happy.

[orangelady]

I tend to, especially when I'm having a down period in life, compare myself and where I am and what I'm doing in life with others. Facebook does not help this. My boyfriend just broke up with me, I'm at a temporary job assignment that I really don't like and feeling burnt out in the career that I've been doing for the past few years. I'm even thinking about changing fields.

 

I got on Facebook or hear through the grapevine what people from college are doing or the great jobs they have that take them all over the world and I get super jealous. I have to remind myself that I don't see the bad, stressful parts of their lives that everyone has. But, for example, there is one guy on Facebook that has my dream job, or so it seems. I was his boss in college and now he's doing what I want. I'm finding myself super jealous of him and I know it's not healthy.

 

This usually happens when I'm not happy with what I'm doing/where I'm at, so I get even more discouraged. Anybody do the same thing?

 

 

Yeah, only worse. I feel that no matter how nice and practical I try to be, my friends who didn't have to be nice always have what I want. And it's not even materialistic things that I want e.g big car, fancy job, lots of $$. Just a guy I can spend my life with. That seems impossible for me. But for my friends, they didn't have to do a thing to have that.

 

Honestly, I think Facebook really doesn't help if you want to 'move on' in life. Especially when you are constantly bombarded with friends pics and updates of their wonderful life. I'd suggest this. Deactivate your FB where all your friends who are making you feel miserable and create another one where you are just you and maybe add only the ones that you don't feel down about.

[jean-luc sisko]

I never compare myself to anybody. I think modern society is too bent on equality, which never can be since life situations are never equal.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I never compare myself to anybody. I think modern society is too bent on equality, which never can be since life situations are never equal.

 

This is a healthy attitude.

[leisteredozcle]

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[SleeplessRomantic]

I know exactly how you feel and I agree with what others have written in this thread.

 

I don't use Facebook a whole lot. I have my family and close friends added and that's about it. I've never cared for it, as it was the supplemental cause of some of my downfalls last year at around this time.

 

We all might compare ourselves to others in our downtimes, but that's a natural reaction because we grasp for ways to validate our negativity.

 

Think about what you want to do with your life and think about all the ways that you acquire your goals. Can't think of any? Create ways and improvise. Success is achieved by those who are willing to break through uncomfortable obstacles standing in their way.

[Kristie16]

Thanks everyone. I've seriously considered deactivating Facebook. I've been on it for six years, starting my freshman year of college. I recently read a story about how a student of teenagers shows looking at FB caused depression. I can believe it. Lookingat FB, everything seems to rosy. I have to remind myself that one amazing photo album or great statue update does not show the whole person's life. We all have our different struggles. Unfortunately, with my job, I move around a lot so I like to keep up with people that way. And I also have to reach out to people and FB is a great way to do that, so I fear dropping it could affect my ability to do my work in certain ways. I've just really been focusing on not fixating on others. It's funny, just the other day a girl message me and said it looks like I'm doing awesome with my job and get to travel so much. Little does she know how I feel inside.