should I cut off all ties with my abusive parents??

[Eugenie57]

My mother and I have always had a stormy relationship. Both my parents have physically and emotionally abused me in the past, especially my father. I have tried to repair my relationship with them but when I go to visit my mom she hands me my old mail and shuts the door on my face. She gets angry and annoyed if I call her to talk and my father hangs up the phone on me as soon as he hears my voice.

 

Should I walk away from the relationship untill they seek me out? It is very painful for me to try to have a relationship with them and my therapist said I should have "no expectations since they are suck in a prison that they created for themselves". I have had enough, and now I am seriously thinking about cutting off all ties with them forever.

They have played these love/hate games with me since I was an adolescent and are extremely controlling, intimidating, and cold. Prone to explosive tempers, always having led me to believe I was a bad person - not even allowing me to have phone calls,visitors, eat the food in the house, sit on the living room couch, use their bathroom, and other outrageous behaviors meant to demean me from the time I ws 15 years old. I am now 22. I have moved out for good and have a healthy relationship with all my other relatives, esp. my grandmother. Is it time to cut them out of my life for good??

[spencer]

yes cut them out of your life. associating with them is hurtful to you. I know you want to create that family atmosphere and your desire to keep trying to make one with them is normal, but no matter how much you love them, they will never give you any love in return. its so sad, but thats how they are and you cant change them, but by not involving yourself with them you can control how your affected. dont be surprised if they dont seek you out, they are both mentally ill.

read dave peltzer's "a child called it" his second book called "a lost boy"? if you havent already. I suspect you feel alot like he did.