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my boyfriend and his ex: they have a child


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I don't know how to deal with my boyfriends ex. They have a child together, but even after a year she will not give up trying to break us up. what should i do???

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Your BF should be a part of the child's life. As for the ex, ignore her. Focus on the BF. I will assume your BF doesn't want to be back with her and wants to be with you right? If so, then don't worry about the ex. She can only get to you if you let her. Good luck.

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You aren't alone. My boyfriend and his ex have a child together also. He had to call his ex last month about taxes and even after not talking for a year, she still was begging for him to come back and be a family just the 3 of them-when she knows that he's with me. Stay strong and if your boyfriend really wants to be with you, he will be. Let me tell you it's not easy but that's just the way it is. I know it's tough and sometimes I get down about things but even after a year and a half my boyfriend still doesn't hesitate to reassure me that he wants me and not her.

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The thing is, he has already broken up with me. His wife and him were communicating with each other at the same time as my relationship with him was going through some troubling moments. He has blamed the breakup partly on me. I didn't do anything wrong, it was all a perception of something that stayed in his head and he has never been able to shake off.

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I was in a situation like yours. It was horible when I got with the guy he was still living with her and she ended up moving out. Which I thought was a good thing at the time. He still saw her almost everyday as well as me and I hated it but I had no say in it because the baby was his and I wasn't gonna get in the way of him seeing his daughter.

 

The bitch also wanted him back as well. Got my phone number off my mobile and sent a couple of messeges to me trying to get me paranoid about things.

 

Finally the guy could'nt take the pressure of having two girls to worry about and eventually dumped me. He ended up really hurting me. (The first time I have ever been dumped). For a couple of weeks I was really down and a bit depressed. I did get over it though.

 

I don't have any kids myself. I didn't know what kind of situation I was getting myself into either.

 

I am glad I got out of that relationship now but. I am now with the most decent, greatest, wonderful guy I have ever gone out with besides the others and best of all he has no kids and not attached to any other ex's. As far as I know of. It's only been 6 weeks.

 

If he's dumped you it's not worth worrying about. Especially if you don't have kids of your own. You don't need all that extra stress. Find somebody that doesn't have kids who actually cares about you and deserves you. It will be hard at first but hopefully things will work out for you. :bunny: .

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  • 4 months later...

I know for the most part what you are going through....

 

I have been with this guy for 3 months, his ex wife hates me because she thinks i am gonna try to take her place with his 2 kids, i dont want to, im not even old enough to be their mom (maybe the four year old).

 

We have a good relationship, except for she still expects him to support her, and her new baby which is not his. I really think we could have something but she will always be there, i do "love" his kids but i am not exactly ready to deal with their mother.

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My H's ex is trying STILL, 5 years later to get back with him. The tactics that she has used have changed, but the bottom line is still the same: SHE wants ME out of the picture.

F**K her!

Just go on with your relationship as if she doesn't even exsist.

My H's ex will decide to tell people that I am abusing her kid, or that we fight too much, and proceed to take the girl away from him for a while.

Sooner or later, though, the bug will crawl out of her a** for a while and all will be calm again.

Don't worry too much about it.

If he wanted HER, he wouldn't be with you, and nothing she does will change that.

Good luck, and I hope your situation gets better soon.

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Seeing as he has a child with his ex, the ex is always going to be in his life. ALWAYS. I would assume that you knew this when you entered into a relationship with him. Focus on the fact that he chooses to be with you and things should go fine.

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Well, I just have to join in on this one. My bf has a child with his ex and she drives me NUTS too. Although, I try to ignore her, there are times when it's just too much! But since she live in the same boough he works (literally like 5 minutes away from his job) and me like an hour and a half away. I decided to go back to school and sooner than I know it I'm going to be working from home. So when she calls him and says your son needs or can you come over for this or that I'll be right next to him. :D

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  • 2 weeks later...

i am going through the same thing, only it seems that he tries to make sure that we dont talk or meet. he says he wants to marry me and we stay on the phone until early morning most of the time, but i recently found out that they just recently broke up three months ago, and that she still has a cell phone on his account and he takes her to school everyday. the baby goes to school around the corner from him which gives her access to him whenever she wants, and they call each other daily. I dont know what to think about this, and the fact that he doesnt even tell me that he loves me when hes around her bothers me. I addressed the issues with him and he has changed them around, but she has asked him for sex and for them to be together. he wont say anything to her about her behavior because he wants to make sure that he can see his child. hes moving down here with me so that we can get married, but she doesn't know this yet. I know that when she finds out that she will make his life hell when it comes to seeing his child. what should i do?

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