I can't get any guy I'm attracted to to bleep me.

[DreamerGirl27]

seriously, no joke. I can get ugly guys to, but nobody I'm actually attracted to. Probably, because if I'm attracted to them, I usually want more than just sex. But if some hot guy was around, I might do him. But I can never get them to do me. I'm a cute girl, too. What the hell is wrong with men? don't they usually jump at the chance to have sex with a cute girl? Or am I aiming too high in the looks department?

 

I tend to go for stick thin, rocker guys with long hair and baby faces.

 

I'm pretty thin myself, but I could prolly lose a few, I'm definitely more than I was in high school, but that was all due to medication I was on and I've lost it all before and slowly losing it all again.

 

I'm 5'6" about 140lbs (I was at 130, but gained due to the same friggin' meds again), long brown hair, blue eyes...etc.

 

In high school I was 120 and still couldn't get attention from the guys I liked. I just like skinny rocker dudes with long hair and bad boy attitudes. I'd be perfectly fine hooking up with one, too. They just refuse to give me the time of day.

 

I think I put off this vibe that I'm some sort of Christian, goodie goody and the fact is, I'm not.

 

 

There IS however, a guy that I'm super interested in as far as a relationship is concerned, but he has me friend zoned.

 

But it's the fact that he can be just my friend that has me so smitten. Every other guy is so judgmental and when I try to talk to them, it's like they think I've asked them to marry me.

 

the fact that my friend is just so chill with me and can look at me as more than just a chick that's after him (even though I am) and he STILL talks to me. He's relationship material to me.

 

Every other guy I just want to bang and be done with it. I don't think they get that.

 

then of course, the ugly guys want relationships and I don't even want to bang them, much less get into a relationship with them.

 

I just want a few hot men, dammit. lol

[somedude81]

I can get ugly guys to, but nobody I'm actually attracted to.

That's because you think that 99.9% of men are ugly...

[Feelin Frisky]

You may be favoring the type of guys who are hansom and over-confident who think 140 pounds is a porker and can dismiss you right away as not on their radar. These are shallow players. Either lower your sights or go on a campaign to reinvent yourself and be everything you can. You are so close to being an ideal weight for a woman you're height. In three to six months you could be that ideal. Got a health club membership? If not get one and work a serious serious program for a while. When you start fitting perfectly into smaller sizes and exude confidence yourself you will FEEL the interest in guys "prick up" if you know what I mean.

[Leigh 87]

Frisky is spot on! Look, weight does not determine how attractive a girl is; it is about your personality and vibe you exude, and also how pretty your face is. Furthermore, a girl can work out and be fit and toned at 140 or 150 or more lbs; a good body is made thruogh healthy diet and working out, not being 110 lbs and skinny fat, eating fast food.

 

The thing is, if you want guys who are very attractive, they have more options; they can get to know girls, and be more picky with the girls they choose to spend their time with; naturally, they will go for girls who they like, and who also are sexy to them.

 

If your standards are high, or if the TYPE of guys you go for ( who may not necesarily be super hot, but their style and personality types do not find u appealing enough to date), you just have to; BE YOURSELF, and if guys do not go for you, BE YOURSELF still, but just improve your appearance a little:)

 

I know it sounds nasty, but simply being yourself may not be enough to land you the type of guys u want; perhaps going for a run or finding cardio u enjoy doing almost every day, will get your body into better shape.

 

Sorry, a guy does want a girl who he loves being around, for the girls personality; however, good looking guys who ar epopular with the ladies, like many thin rocker types are, come across plenty of girls with nice personalities; so it is human nature to pick a girl that has a nice personality, and is ALSO good looking, opposed to picking a girl with a nice perosnality, who is not physically attractive.

 

Cute is good; but it is not enough to get the guys you want, so work on it. I did, I am in better shape now, and can get guys. It sounds vain, but the guys I get DO have to LIKE my personality, it is NOT just about my looks; however, my body attracts them to begin with, so they GET to know my personality:)

[BeginAgain]

seriously, no joke. I can get ugly guys to, but nobody I'm actually attracted to. Probably, because if I'm attracted to them, I usually want more than just sex. But if some hot guy was around, I might do him. But I can never get them to do me. I'm a cute girl, too. What the hell is wrong with men? don't they usually jump at the chance to have sex with a cute girl? Or am I aiming too high in the looks department?

 

I tend to go for stick thin, rocker guys with long hair and baby faces.

 

I'm pretty thin myself, but I could prolly lose a few, I'm definitely more than I was in high school, but that was all due to medication I was on and I've lost it all before and slowly losing it all again.

 

I'm 5'6" about 140lbs (I was at 130, but gained due to the same friggin' meds again), long brown hair, blue eyes...etc.

 

In high school I was 120 and still couldn't get attention from the guys I liked. I just like skinny rocker dudes with long hair and bad boy attitudes. I'd be perfectly fine hooking up with one, too. They just refuse to give me the time of day.

 

I think I put off this vibe that I'm some sort of Christian, goodie goody and the fact is, I'm not.

 

 

There IS however, a guy that I'm super interested in as far as a relationship is concerned, but he has me friend zoned.

 

But it's the fact that he can be just my friend that has me so smitten. Every other guy is so judgmental and when I try to talk to them, it's like they think I've asked them to marry me.

 

the fact that my friend is just so chill with me and can look at me as more than just a chick that's after him (even though I am) and he STILL talks to me. He's relationship material to me.

 

Every other guy I just want to bang and be done with it. I don't think they get that.

 

then of course, the ugly guys want relationships and I don't even want to bang them, much less get into a relationship with them.

 

I just want a few hot men, dammit. lol

Post a pic of yourself and I'll give an honest opinion of your attractiveness.

 

Also guys don't have friend zones. That's something only women do and those guys aren't really friends but people for her to string along for some attention.

[BeginAgain]

That's because you think that 99.9% of men are ugly...

Pretty much. She's being way too picky.

[Mrlonelyone]

Could it be that you are un attracted to any man that expresses an attraction to you?

 

It's all in your head.

[BeginAgain]

Could it be that you are un attracted to any man that expresses an attraction to you?

That's pretty much any girl ever especially here.

[orangelady]

That's because you think that 99.9% of men are ugly...

 

She just said there are some she'd like to bang.

[orangelady]

That's pretty much any girl ever especially here.

 

Where? You mean as in this forum?

[Kamille]

I've seen pics (in another thread) and what I can say is this: Physically, Dreamergirl has what it takes. She's slim, tall, she has killer legs, a great smile, she has long brown hair (which, if I were to nitpick, I would say could use more layers, but I don't think guys notice that kind of stuff as much as women would).

 

I'm guessing what you need to learn to do Dreamer is learn how to flirt. How do you approach the guys you like?

[somedude81]

She just said there are some she'd like to bang.

No, there is one guy. Dreamergirl has made many posts explaining how picky she is.

 

She's the type of girl who wants a male model and nobody else is good enough for her.

 

Right now her problem is that she is not hot enough for the guy she wants and she's obsessing over him.

 

The easy solution for her would be to lower her standards a few notches and go for the guys that want her. But nope, they disgust her because they aren't perfect.

[Duckduckgoose]

Hmm... only attracted to one specific "type" of guy.

 

That might be your problem there. Obviously they are not very attracted to you "type" or you would be getting some.

 

I have been with a few guys. None of them were the same "type". This might've just be my explorations when I was younger. I find myself attracted to several different "types" of men. If someone asks what my dream guy looks like the answer will be... "Ummm....."

 

That is just my $0.02 though.

[DreamerGirl27]

Post a pic of yourself and I'll give an honest opinion of your attractiveness.

 

Also guys don't have friend zones. That's something only women do and those guys aren't really friends but people for her to string along for some attention.

 

Wanna bet?

[Ross PK]

Stop being so picky picky picky.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

This "ugly guy" is happy that you're getting rejected. Maybe you need to stop being so shallow?

[Nebula]

I kind of understand the OP.

 

In my case, I don't necessarily want a particular type, just someone who's not ugly. I don't need him to be "this tall" or anything in particular, just the thought of the guy touching me not to bother me. Is that really SO bad? (We're only talking about physical requirements of course, personality is obviously important! Just sticking to the topic).

 

I had this bf who I found average to begin with but as I fell in love with his personality, I saw him as the cutest hottest guy ever.

 

Nowadays it's hard to even spot that. I'm not looking for a freaking model! And yet I find nothing, and the few I spot don't notice me. The guys who have showed interest are just really not attractive. And these in particular I've even checked to make sure it's not me and others have agreed it's not me exaggerating!

 

It does seem I am picky, but I don't think you can force yourself to be attracted to someone when you think they're ugly.

 

A friend once told me I've only been with people who are above average, the type that most girls would like, which I hadn't even thought of, I figured they're just ok.

 

At one point in life I did feel shallow and gave a chance to this not-so-good-looking guy I wasn't that attracted to, and it just never felt right. Although we were together it felt more like we were close friends, even though I really cared for the guy.

 

Then to another who was kindaaa average (though he attracts lots of girls!), and kinda the same, felt like a friend.

 

Last guy I was somewhat involved with I always thought to be really good looking, I'd known him for a while and he was closed off, but seemed like a good guy. We had a thing, he never committed to me and in the end turned out to be a jerk. So obviously looks aren't enough. And I felt like crap because at first I really liked the guy as a whole and he used me and blew me off (funny enough, now he's with an ugly girl).

 

This might sound bad, but the times I've been to other countries I stumble upon a lot more attractive people (who don't notice me either ). But at least it's something.

 

Maybe I should relocate lol.

 

It's just hard because if it's really my fault I've tried to be as open-minded as I can but there's so much you can do. And right now I'm feeling particularly lonely so it sucks.

[Floridaman]

Was gonna send this to you in a PM, but think others may benefit.

seriously, no joke. I can get ugly guys to, but nobody I'm actually attracted to. Probably, because if I'm attracted to them, I usually want more than just sex. But if some hot guy was around, I might do him. But I can never get them to do me. I'm a cute girl, too. What the hell is wrong with men? don't they usually jump at the chance to have sex with a cute girl? Or am I aiming too high in the looks department?

 

I tend to go for stick thin, rocker guys with long hair and baby faces. ,

.....

Every other guy I just want to bang and be done with it. I don't think they get that.

 

then of course, the ugly guys want relationships and I don't even want to bang them, much less get into a relationship with them.

 

I just want a few hot men, dammit. lol

Looked up some of your myriad of other threads, Dreamer.

Wanted to address something you posted in one of those threads, but I can't reply to it bec. the thread is closed.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=241178&page=2

Originally Posted by Green

how am I even psychic. I through out like 4 months and would be suprised if some man didn't find you by then. I don't neceseraly mean your husband... just a guy who you will have great memories with.

 

1% of the male population is pretty high statisicaly speaking thats like over 30 million men out there in the world who you would find attractive...

 

Plus as a guy I think that its the mans job to make the girl find him attractive. So for instance my gf didn't like me right off the bat. She was a little unsure of me... but I won her over by being myself and showing her who I was. I think it also makes women feel good to be wanted.

 

You are being dramatic... just get over it. You're going to be fine so many people go through what you are going through right now and come out fine.

mmm....no guy has ever been able to "make" me like him. If I don't right off the bat, I never do.

DG,

I think one of your problems is you're going too much on looks and your "type."

Truth is, there isn't any single type for each person.

 

I met my wife on a blind date. Though she was attractive, it wasn't her looks that got me interested in her.

 

In fact, that dinner date with another couple was what most would consider a disaster.

During it, I sensed it wasn't going so well and thought to myself,

"I'll get through this and find someone else to date...."

 

However, we got a chance to talk later on that eve. and she seemed nice.

 

Wasn't planning on calling her later. But within the next week or so, something kept gnawing inside me that I needed to call her friend who set up the date and get her number....

 

We've been together for nearly 20 years now.

 

mmm....no guy has ever been able to "make" me like him. If I don't right off the bat, I never do.

The point is, you seem to judge too quickly on looks.

What if my blind date shut me down simply bec. she may not have thought I looked good?

Or maybe she didn't think I was her "type?"

 

Or same me with her?

 

I would rate her a 6-8, me a 4-7, so no problems in the looks dept.

 

Think how you could be shutting-down men that could turn into relationship opportunities.

[DreamerGirl27]

Was gonna send this to you in a PM, but think others may benefit.

 

Looked up some of your myriad of other threads, Dreamer.

Wanted to address something you posted in one of those threads, but I can't reply to it bec. the thread is closed.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=241178&page=2

 

DG,

I think one of your problems is you're going too much on looks and your "type."

Truth is, there isn't any single type for each person.

 

I met my wife on a blind date. Though she was attractive, it wasn't her looks that got me interested in her.

 

In fact, that dinner date with another couple was what most would consider a disaster.

During it, I sensed it wasn't going so well and thought to myself,

"I'll get through this and find someone else to date...."

 

However, we got a chance to talk later on that eve. and she seemed nice.

 

Wasn't planning on calling her later. But within the next week or so, something kept gnawing inside me that I needed to call her friend who set up the date and get her number....

 

We've been together for nearly 20 years now.

 

 

The point is, you seem to judge too quickly on looks.

What if my blind date shut me down simply bec. she may not have thought I looked good?

Or maybe she didn't think I was her "type?"

 

Or same me with her?

 

I would rate her a 6-8, me a 4-7, so no problems in the looks dept.

 

Think how you could be shutting-down men that could turn into relationship opportunities.

 

I'll shut down any man who refuses to talk to me and that's 99.9% of my friends. I can't get anywhere when I have no contact with any of my friends.

 

Well let me repeat for the 100,000th time...

 

I have no contact with any other men right now. They ALL ignore me. Except the really, really, really so far out there ugly you just wanna puke ones. Those are the only guys that give me attention, and probably because they're desperate. I mean, these guys are insulting ME by thinking they have a shot.

 

I have quite a lot of male friends on my facebook. The only decent looking one who pays me any attention is my one friend. Consistently. He's literally, the best I can do.

 

I added this guy off a dating site and he texted me for all of 3 days and then it slowly died.

 

So I deleted him.

 

I get turned off being ignored.

 

I actually have one other guy friend right now who IMs me in the morning, but he's engaged and another total player. He's NOT my type, but he's unattractive to me because of his personality.

 

The guy that continues to talk to me and be my friend. Is special, because any guy you're not having sex with who sticks around (who knows you like him to boot) is special. Plus, I don't believe he's the big a**wipe he claims to be. I think he's overcompensating for something. I think deep down, he's a really sweet guy.

 

I could be wrong, but anyone who sticks around me long enough are usually pretty decent people. Probably because I'm a pretty decent person.

 

Whew...I'm long winded. Anyway, I'll shut up now.

[DreamerGirl27]

I kind of understand the OP.

 

In my case, I don't necessarily want a particular type, just someone who's not ugly. I don't need him to be "this tall" or anything in particular, just the thought of the guy touching me not to bother me. Is that really SO bad? (We're only talking about physical requirements of course, personality is obviously important! Just sticking to the topic).

 

I had this bf who I found average to begin with but as I fell in love with his personality, I saw him as the cutest hottest guy ever.

 

Nowadays it's hard to even spot that. I'm not looking for a freaking model! And yet I find nothing, and the few I spot don't notice me. The guys who have showed interest are just really not attractive. And these in particular I've even checked to make sure it's not me and others have agreed it's not me exaggerating!

 

It does seem I am picky, but I don't think you can force yourself to be attracted to someone when you think they're ugly.

 

A friend once told me I've only been with people who are above average, the type that most girls would like, which I hadn't even thought of, I figured they're just ok.

 

At one point in life I did feel shallow and gave a chance to this not-so-good-looking guy I wasn't that attracted to, and it just never felt right. Although we were together it felt more like we were close friends, even though I really cared for the guy.

 

Then to another who was kindaaa average (though he attracts lots of girls!), and kinda the same, felt like a friend.

 

Last guy I was somewhat involved with I always thought to be really good looking, I'd known him for a while and he was closed off, but seemed like a good guy. We had a thing, he never committed to me and in the end turned out to be a jerk. So obviously looks aren't enough. And I felt like crap because at first I really liked the guy as a whole and he used me and blew me off (funny enough, now he's with an ugly girl).

 

This might sound bad, but the times I've been to other countries I stumble upon a lot more attractive people (who don't notice me either ). But at least it's something.

 

Maybe I should relocate lol.

 

It's just hard because if it's really my fault I've tried to be as open-minded as I can but there's so much you can do. And right now I'm feeling particularly lonely so it sucks.

 

I agree with you in that people look better in other countries. I've never been to another country, but I have noticed from seeing things on TV and the internet, that there are a lot more attractive people who aren't in the US. I think a lot of this has to do with our eating habits.

 

America is the fattest country in the world and this has always bothered me. I'm not stick thin, I'm definitely no 110lb little scrawny thing, but I am nowhere NEAR fat. All I can get attracted to me are really big, tubby guys. I refuse to date this. I'm constantly on my parent's case, too, because they both eat like absolute crap and they're gonna kill themselves one of these days. My dad has gotten a lot better about it, he's lost a lot of weight, but it was really disgusting the way he used to eat.

 

My problem is with obesity. I have a lot of really big guys after me and I'm not a big girl. Again...I'm no 110lb stick thin little thing, (though if I really tried, I could be), but I am nowhere near "big boned" or "fat" by any means.

 

I actually had some people on OKC tell me I shouldn't list myself as thin. I figured, okay, maybe I should've been more modest and listed myself as "average", I'll agree with that, but they were callin' me fat and they were totally trolling. lawl

 

I look good for my age. Not gonna lie. There are areas I could work on, but that could be said about anyone.

 

so yeah...not dating Mr. Tubby...and not dating Mr. My Face Is So Horrible It Makes Your Skin Crawl Just Standing Next To Me.

 

These are the only 2 categories of men I can seem to attract.

 

 

and then...there's Mr. OMG You're So Hawt and Perfect and I Love Our Conversations and I Think I Just Wanna Jump Your Bones and I'm Totally In Love With You Stupid, but I Want You To Commit To Me Dam*it Boy...

 

I like to call him an idiot.

[DreamerGirl27]

Phew... where to start. I think that you see people as objects. Objects to use and accomplish a goal. Like women, men don't really want to be used for sex. Sure, we'll take it. But any 'decent guy' (like you claim to want) isn't gonna be down for your agenda.

 

Perhaps what's going on is that these dudes sense a kind of object vibe from you, and want nothing to do with it. I think the key is to look inward, and know that there is a deep dissatisfaction with self that turns outward, and projects onto others.

 

Whenever we criticize others, it is a manifestation of a dislike of self. And it hurts us, badly, without our realizing it.

 

This me vs. them mentality is a problem, IMO. My advice is to sit with yourself, and feel. Like seriously. Sit and feel where that tension is in your body. Feel that pain, that sadness.

 

-MF

 

lul, wut????

 

 

:confused:

[Leigh 87]

If overweight or very physically unnattractive men are the ONLY men who even LOOK at you, then it is because you are not physically appealing enough for average or attractive men to want to look at you. From a physical standpoint.

 

Of course, there are a LOT of attractive men who have average or even average women with chubby or un - fit bodies; I have seen football players in Australia with wives or girlfriends that are average.

 

It is only at first GLANCE that you are not attractive enough; this is only physical, and IT IS VERY possible for better looking guys, who would otherwise overlook you based on your appearance, to GET to like you very much. Enough to want a relationship with you, should you be the right person for them to be with.

 

The problem is for people like you, who are not physicall attractive enough to attract decent or average looking men ( you DID say you ONLY attract below average or overweight men), that you probably get disheartened and forget that people DO pick their partners based on their personalities.......

 

In short: be yourself, and you will have enough to offer at least SOME average looking men. At least SOME average looking men in the area you live in, should eventually liked being around you enough to want a relationship at some point; most men will not check you our right away if you are not hot, however, you can certainly GET men to like you as they get to know you.

 

Lastly, you probably already know this, however; how you act and who you are as a person will come accross and dictate a mans interest level. They need to be happy to be around a girl for them to want to be in a relartionship with them. Being attractive is not enough, but being average or below average and having a great personality will get you more men ( than the more attractive women who is a nasty person).

 

The more attractive women will get more men to notice them, and hence have far more opportunities than you do at MEETING men, but the men will NOT stick around them if they are not decent people; they would rather be with a less attractive girl like you. You have less options than attractive people, but you still have options.

 

I suggest trying to increase your chances of meeting people, if you havn't already. After all, the more guys that get the chance to know you, the more likely it is that one of them will be a good match for you.

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

You're either in a bad place to meet a guy, or you are unattractive.

[DreamerGirl27]

Trust me...I am not unattractive in the least.

[MissJoness]

I don't think the OP is unattractive because she has a lot of overweight/below average looking men pursuing her. Many overweight/ugly men tend to be the boldest b/c they don't have anything to lose so they'll hit on the hottest chick anyway because they figure why not take a chance? They already know they're ugly--some of them tend to act very arrogant and cocky to overcompensate for their unfortunate looks. and besides there are more overweight/below average looking men than attractive fit men in certain cities so that may be why she is getting approached more by them. Where I live, there is an abundance of out of shape, below average men so when I go out I am more likely to get hit on by them than good looking guys because there are less of 'em

 

Now, a good looking guy may not do this because he doesn't want to face rejection and have his ego bruised in the process.