Karala Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 To be honest, I don't even want her back, she is not good for me, I just want the hurt and memories to go away. I want to meet lots of new people. Like you I feel the trust is gone. I have a lot of anger at the moment too. I think that's good, and that you do have a lot to be angry about. I just read through this whole thread. Just my opinion, but I am pretty convinced that she just wasn't that into you. Anytime you tried to discuss things, she would avoid it, act non-commital and she probably knew she was confusing the sh*t out of you, but apparently she didn't mind leading you on. To me the most obvious bit that says "just not that into you" is when she repeatedly told you "I wish you'd move". Duh, did she ever actually ask you to move, or even try to discuss the matter in any way shape or form? Cause that's what commited couples do (I hear... not that I would know so much about them) What a great excuse for her. Sorry, but she annoys me. Commitmentphobes who can't commit to being with you, but can't either commit to not being with you. They'll drive you crazy if you let'em. Kudos to you for going back to NC and moving on, and best of everything to you :] Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ginger Beer Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 There were a few little things I noticed too though, like for example, I sent her a letter last year of all the things I loved about her. She sent me a picture to my phone a few weeks back and you could see a letter in front of the mirror. She said on the texted pic 'your letter is still there ' but the stamp was on the left hand side, there is absolutely no way I would leave a stamp on the left hand side of an envelope. I always left them on the right. I couldn't even be bothered to argue but I noticed lots of these sort of things. She also said the reason she couldn't love me when she dumped me back in September was because her parents split up and she was having a hard time coping, yet when we got speaking again this time around, she mentioned her holiday to Italy and said 'but when I came back my parents split up ' and this was at least 6 weeks before she dumped me. It didn't match up with what she said at the time. I kept it to myself but it's very strange. Link to post Share on other sites
Karala Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Oh gosh, if you have reasons to think she might have been dishonest with you on top of all the other stuff, you're definitely better off without her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ginger Beer Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 Am I allowed to use this thread to update? Link to post Share on other sites
Karala Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 Am I allowed to use this thread to update? I grant you permission. What's it about? I'm curious. ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ginger Beer Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 I grant you permission. What's it about? I'm curious. ^^ Nothing new has happened with her, was just going to post that today has been a good day, made some more money, rearranged my room, trying to change my surroundings so that it seems new and I forget about the old room. My eating is nearly back to normal although I've been trying really hard to fix it. I'll return to full training on Monday, I've only been doing bits since Sunday. In general, I'm still really hurt but forcing myself to try and do as many things as I can. Tomorrow I'll do everything I can. I've always wanted to read more books, now would be a good time to start. Link to post Share on other sites
Karala Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Good for you! As for books, they're one of my greatest joys in life, and I have to say lately when I was spending evenings reading for hours on end, I had moments when I would just think about how good and peaceful I was feeling, on my own, knowing that nothing would come to disrupt this peace. I do miss my ex enormously, but to be rid of the constant anxiety that was brought on by the toxicity of the relationship, and being able to spend quiet time on my own and not having to worry about it all, is an equally enormous relief. (lol, do I sound like a sad lonely person trying to make it sound like I enjoy being single? No, seriously, I don't like being single, but I do enjoy the tranquillity of being on my own and reading ^^) Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Thank you 0hpenelope. It's hard knowing if you're doing the right thing or not. I suppose I am. We sort of ended on bad terms yesterday, we didn't argue but this happened on messenger and I quickly said bye, explained it had to be good and blocked and deleted her before she could reply. She text ''Thanks for letting me say bye'' straight away. Does she like having the last word? For me, the right thing in a break up is to do something that I know will help me heal. You know, good things. I know that it's a good thing I don't talk to my exes, so I implement that sooner. When someone doesn't want to be with you, don't force yourself on the person. I saw your last update where you rearranged furniture and you're doing good stuff for yourself, so that's great! Amass a lot of positive things for yourself because the hard parts of healing will come in waves and you'll need as much of those good reminders about yourself, about how far you've come, about your goals, etc. as you can have to tide yourself over. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
1784 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 I had moments when I would just think about how good and peaceful I was feeling, on my own, knowing that nothing would come to disrupt this peace. I do miss my ex enormously, but to be rid of the constant anxiety that was brought on by the toxicity of the relationship, and being able to spend quiet time on my own and not having to worry about it all, is an equally enormous relief. I couldn't agree with your sentiments more. I certainly do miss things about my ex and do still think about her quite a bit. When I honestly look back at our relationship, though, I do have to say that a lot of the time I was stressed out about so many things in regard to our relationship. It's truly amazing what you can get yourself used to. Now that I have so much more free time I'm using it toward much more positive, worry-free and personal goals. I'm not filling my down time with relationship anxiety. When I was in my relationship I had a hard time simply reading a book because my mind was so distracted. I would read the same page over and over again, close the book, think about stuff, open it again, re-read that page, etc. It got to where I just stopped reading and I have always been quite the avid reader. with anything I do now I feel more like I'm living in the moment and enjoying it for what it is instead of for what it's not. Like I said, of course I do miss things about my ex but I definitely am basking in the calm that is my new life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ginger Beer Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 I agree with the peace thing. It feels nice to not be anxious all the time. I've not thought about her much, not as much as I thought I would anyway. It's her birthday today, I didn't text or anything, I was worried about today but I don't really care. Still having trouble sleeping but I'm alright. Link to post Share on other sites
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