this bachelor party thing

[Bunny]

i was shocked and amazed when i entered the private party room at the bar i worked at where a bachelor party was going on. i knew there would be strippers and i've heard the stories, but did i really expect to see my best friend's fiance receive fellatio in a room full of guys? 2 weeks before his wedding? and it wasn't just him-others did also....my boyfriend was there too, he swears he never "partakes" at bachelor parties-very hard for any woman to believe at face value. my bartender coworker sat me down and told me that most bachelor parties are like this, and that the "brotherhood" will never reveal anything...that they just all instinctively know to never speak of these acts again...so the problem is, every time there is one of these parties (there has been a rash of them lately since everyone is getting married it seems) I'm now going to believe that no one is innocent. will someone out there tell me what is normal behavior at a bachelor party for a guy who is in a serious 3+ year relationship? and also for the groom? by the way, for this next party coming up, it's MY boyfriend who is in charge of securing the "entertainment".

[Nina]

I think it depends on the man getting married. And the men involved. I'm engaged, bu my fiancee doesn't want to have a bachelor party and when he was a groomsman in his friend's wedding, he chose not to attend the bachelor party. He doesn't like to watch strippers, he says it makes him feel uncomfortable.

 

Some men enjoy this, though, although I don't know why. I could approach it from an evolutionary standpoint that men are more visually stimulated because there are certain physical signs of fertility that he responds to: large breasts, rosy cheeks, red lips, roundness and clear skin.

 

But on the other hand I think that society and social groups can warp a man's idea of sexuality into something almost fetishistic. He turns those signs of fertility that he resopnds to into something so extreme that it becomes grotesque. You can't tell me that huge breast implants that are like a double D are attractive. Ive seen them, they look grotesque to me.

 

Oh, well. Talk to him about how you feel. If you've been involved for over 3 years, he should take steps to preserve the trust and mutual respect that you've built up.

[BB]

i agree - it is quite shocking. my boyfriend/soon-to-be fiance claims that he never does this sort of thing as well - however, how can any of us be sure?

 

bachelor parties promote infidelity before the ultimate commitment of marriage and as an insitution do not help to further all that marriage stands for (i.e. honesty, fidelity, etc.).

 

moreover, if we as women went out and partook in the same night of debauchery, many of our fiances would probably call the wedding off.

 

trust is the backbone of any committed relationship - lets start a campaign to end this type of dishonesty!

i was shocked and amazed when i entered the private party room at the bar i worked at where a bachelor party was going on. i knew there would be strippers and i've heard the stories, but did i really expect to see my best friend's fiance receive fellatio in a room full of guys? 2 weeks before his wedding? and it wasn't just him-others did also....my boyfriend was there too, he swears he never "partakes" at bachelor parties-very hard for any woman to believe at face value. my bartender coworker sat me down and told me that most bachelor parties are like this, and that the "brotherhood" will never reveal anything...that they just all instinctively know to never speak of these acts again...so the problem is, every time there is one of these parties (there has been a rash of them lately since everyone is getting married it seems) I'm now going to believe that no one is innocent. will someone out there tell me what is normal behavior at a bachelor party for a guy who is in a serious 3+ year relationship? and also for the groom? by the way, for this next party coming up, it's MY boyfriend who is in charge of securing the "entertainment".

[Tony T]

Bachelor parties used to be a bit more tame than they are in the year 2000. There are no rules or conduct of behavior for such parties. However, the behavior has a lot to do with alcohol intake and mob psychology. If everybody's drunk enough and a few people are doing something the rest would enjoy, they all join in whether they feel it's right or not.

 

I think you are best just accepting that this is an aspect of male behavior that will be with us for years to come. It represents a night when the groom-to-be can experience all this pent up fantasies along with his buddies...and it can just remain a memory that will fade in the months ahead.

 

I have never heard of illegal acts at a bachelor party. Strippers giving blow jobs in front of people at a party in a restaurant would be a misdemeanor in most cities. This is not usual...but, again, if the parties are drunk enough almost anything could happen.

 

I seldom hear of any great harm done to a relationship due to a man's conduct at a bachelor party. I say leave it alone!!! Unless you had business in the private party room, you shouldn't have entered there.

 

The greatest trust you can show your boyfriend is to let him be free to go to bachelor parties and know in certain terms that he will behave himself. You do trust him that much, don't you???