Friends with benefits.. inadaquate?

[Kissbang]

Hi everyone, I know It's LONG but!!!!! I need to hear your opinion regarding my personal story. I'd appreciate some advices on how to act and what to do.

 

I've been without a boyfriend for over a year (I'm 21), and recently I've met someone (he's 26) via the internet. We started talking, he shared (a lot) about himself and his personal story, we decided to meet up. Dunno as what (friends, optional partners, etc..) coz we didn't define ourselves.

Well basically, this guy has A WHOLE LOT OF ISSUES!!

 

A. He got out of a 4 year serious relationship with his ex, who cheatted on him.

B. Thus losing ALL trust in women and resulting in "hating" them.

C. Coz of what I wrote in A, he's planning on doing a 3 months trip to somewhere, in 7 months from now, which he didn't do before coz of his ex.

D. Hance he declares not wanting anything serious.

 

We met, I decided to go with the flow and see what'll happen. I once defined him as in my "friends zone" and he teased me about it.

We kept on talking over the phone, I purposely gave him the feeling that HE IS NOT IN MY FRIENDS ZONE ANYMORE, later we arranged to meet again and we did.

During that evening we were having fun, again, until we got into his car, he tried touching me and then kissing me, I refused at first. He tried again and again and I refused. Then he just told me straight out "You're seeing me as something serious, aren't you!?" I explained to him that I'm aware to the fact of him going on a trip and that I'm not counting on him as a serious boyfriend. Later he just melted me with his smile and charisma and I found myself having sex with him at the end of the night.....

Next morning he text-messages me, saying stuff like "I'm glad you enjoyed it" and "I hope you know that I'm not into anything serious" and "So we're **** buddies now, right?"

I said yes, the hell, why not!? A girl is allowed to have some non commitment fun sometimes!

We agreed on meeting again, he asked me to buy protection, we went to a cafe, then for a walk. He insisted on paying for everything (as a return for me buying protection) and the hell, I went on with it.

Later we went to the appartment of someone I know, and of course, as

planned, had sex.

 

I would've enjoyed it more, except that................

He treats me as a little girl, he insults me, I feel like I don't get any respect from him. He teases me, makes me feel inconvinience at times. I actually said to him to shut his mouth!! and to stop analyzing me all the time.

 

He enjoys it when I get mad. He keeps saying "I know you'll get attached to me sooner or later" over & over again. I got mad at him soooo much, but to EVERYTHING I say, he had the same answer "I don't care what you think, you know it doesn't work on me. that's just the guy I am. You can't change me, accept that".

He has those "rules" of not touching and hugging eachother, no kissing of course unless it's during the act; No staying over night, no sex right on the morning, no "couple's things" etc etc etc...

And if I start feeling something, or finding someone new, he wants me to tell him and cut it out, coz he wants us to be monogamous.

And on the other hand, HE STAYED OVER NIGHT, WE HAD SEX ON THE MORNING, HE PAYS FOR GOING OUT USUALLY, I mean.... WTF!?

 

I really want to cut it off, but I'd like try talking first. BUT I fear that he won't give a **** about what I say and truely feel regarding the whole matter. I know he's just acting up like the "tough guy" coz he's been hurt before, but I think that he's got to a point where he acts as a robot and would brush me off if I try talking to him. He'll probably say that "we're not friends. I'm not gay." like he said before. So what the hell should I do?!?????!?

 

Thanks in advance, could really use some good advices!! :\

[MistaDynamic]

I don't see what the problem is. You're f**kbuddies and he has laid down the rules. You either accept them or move on.

[Kissbang]

ok so.... he broke it off, claiming to realize that he want something serious, but not with me.

After comparing being with me to his ex he understands that it's a bad thing to do. and that having a **** buddy isn't for him.

When I asked what caused this sudden change of thought he said "never mind, that's irrelevant..."

like.. WTF!??!?!!?

And now I'm dying!!!!!! to know why he cut us off so suddenly.

I know he's not the guy for me and that we don't match, but...... I want him.

I want to talk to him, even though I know I shouldn't!! I want to speak to him, but I have nothing to say......

[Nebula]

He doesn't sound like a nice guy, it seems as if had he stayed he would have hurt you. Although it's bothering you now it's probably better that he's gone, now you can forget about him and hopefully meet someone who will commit.

 

If you're so troubled now it means you already have some sort of feelings, so the whole FWB would have end up becoming toxic and painful. I've been there, and it sucks, you kinda dodged a bullet.

[Tayla]

I read this story on here about a year or so ago. Same dynamics.

 

Still got the same advice though. Sleep with a dog, you are bound to get fleas. Now the poster is itching for answers. The answer is in the results.

[Tayla]

Kissbang, have you thought of going into Harlequin writing? Read your post dated January 30th and this smack dabs of that style. You are truly someone who in years to come can make a decent living ( fine tuning your style of course) for this type of repose. I personally wouldn't buy a book like this, yet I hear there is a market for this type of dribble.