Lorelei_Lane Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 I love my in-laws. I tell my friends all the time that I'm one of the luckiest people in the world. My in-laws, from the day they have met me, have always treated me wonderfully. My mother and father in law treat me as if I am one of their own. They are there for me when I need it, talk some sense into me when I'm being silly and overall, are my second set of parents. I truly mean that. They keep an eye on me because they know how hard it is for my parents to be so far away. I chose to move so far away, but it doesn't stop me from missing MY parents and my parents from missing me. I have two sisters in law, one older than me and one younger. Other than a small family rift that happened and lasted for about a year, because of an argument between my husband and his family, they have always treated me with love and respect. When my husband had his affair, they were soooo mad at him! Anyway. I'm concerned for my younger sister in law. She's a couple of years younger than me. For the last year or two, she's been off and on with this guy that no one in the family likes. This guy has completely and totally destroyed my sister in law. She is a beautiful woman, attractive and funny. I love to be around her. This guy has her convinced she's just not good enough. She's not skinny enough or anything like that. I WISH I was as beautiful as she is. Guys turn their heads when she walks into a room/bar or wherever the hell we are. Now she's hardly eating and pushing herself too hard to work out. I worry so much for her, I'm scared she's hurting herself with what she's doing. She so unhappy and it's not fair to her. I hate this guy for what he's doing to her. I actually tried to talk to her yesterday, but she wasn't having any of it. I'm hoping her sister had better luck yesterday afternoon while they were out, if they DID go out and she didn't cancel on her. That's another problem I've seen with her, she doesn't follow through on any plans that are made. I'm so scared for her, and I expressed this to my husband last night. I suffered an eating disorder in high school that has completely screwed me up. There is a possibility now that I may never be able to have kids because of that eating disorder. I don't want my sister in law to go through the pain I had to go through. She's too wonderful of a girl to see this happen. Is there ANYTHING I can do? Or is it hopeless until she realizes this guy is destroying everything she has always been? Link to post Share on other sites
BeginAgain Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 She's in the relationship she wants to be in. There is nothing you can do or should do. She is an adult. Leave her alone. That is until you have evidence of a crime you can bring to the police, but in that case she might be the one who has to press charges for anything to be done. If there is a problem the first step is accepting you have a problem. Until then she can't address it and only she will be the one who can resolve it. Mostly you'll only be there for moral support when and if that time comes. I can't tell if there is even a real problem because people tend to overreact when it comes to anything about the bf of one of the girls in a family. Also she could be taking comments by her bf to an unnatural extreme. Too many girls go off the deep end if you say anything to them about anything as evidenced by the many posts on LS. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lorelei_Lane Posted April 8, 2011 Author Share Posted April 8, 2011 I understand completely what you're saying. The things he has said to her have been pretty extreme. At first I put it on the fact that she was overreacting but after the incident yesterday... I'm just worried about her. I told her a long time ago I will love her no matter what. I just see what it's doing to the entire family and unfortunately I feel bad because I can't help. We've all acknowledged that until she finally decides to realize what is happening, there's nothing we can do. I just don't want it to be too late. I know how bad eating disorders can get... I don't want there to be a point she gets to that she can't come back from, if that makes sense. She was so happy with herself, her looks, until this guy came along. Now the only person's opinion she cares about is his. But you are right. I have to let her be and she'll have to find her own way. Link to post Share on other sites
BeginAgain Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 I don't want there to be a point she gets to that she can't come back from, if that makes sense. It makes sense. Anorexia nervosa can lead to death and that's one point you don't come back from. Link to post Share on other sites
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