Cactus Jack Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 [color=black][/color]Hi Please help!!!! How do you cope if you know the person that you love with all your heart and soul wants to be friends only because the strenious tension in the relationship is just not worth it and she is waiting for God to steer her dream man to her. We fit so well together and things always goes back to a relationship and it is not that I am not good to her. I will give the world and more if I could and it is not about money because I am well off. These feelings are to real and I cant escape them everytime I see her I try and be as friendlike as possible but every time she needs help she wil never ask untill I find out and then when I try to help she doesnt want to. This is not because she doesnt love me it is because she has had all the setbacks in life with a non caring father and a very posesive mother that screens all her boyfriends and grades them. I admit I am not perfect and is trying damn hard to curb my bad habbits such is going way out with friends and has done so same with my very aggresive behaviour. Now I am at the end of the road. I will change my whole life for her but she doesnt want to see this. C Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 How do you cope if you know the person that you love with all your heart and soul wants to be friends only Sometimes you can mange to be friends because to be without them entirely would be unbearable. Other times, not being more than friends becomes unbearable and you have to cut off contact and try to move on. I will change my whole life for her but she doesnt want to see this. It's a cruel fact of life that people fall for people who don't fall back. If somebody put me in charge, I'd fix that. Unfortunately, I'm not. You will have to decide for yourself whether life without her is more painful than life with only a partial relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cactus Jack Posted April 5, 2004 Author Share Posted April 5, 2004 We havent spoken several times for months on end but we keep on thinking of each other every day when we were apart. so there is no win/win situation here. I have even thought about enlisting in the uk royal marines as we are part of the common wealth just to get away. She has fallen for me so many times and every time I let her down. Like it was her birthday on Saturday and I forgot, but not intentionally. I gave her the present that I bought with all my heart on Tuesday and we had such a great time. I was working shifts so I go out of one day into another and my time table is such a mess. When I forgot on Saturday she sent me a message "are you joking with me?" I replied as no and she said " so you did forget?" I felt so bad got up from my 3 hour sleep bathed and went to visit her. Her mother sister and her sisters husband was there and I felt ashamed. It is like she keeps on testing me and I fail everytime - she bombards me with questions about the bible and if I cant answer it is like in her head she fails me as a person. We were chatting over the text message now before this post and I still get a good night and all sweat dreams. I cant understand!!! Link to post Share on other sites
yekcoh Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 A lot of times when religion plays such a big role in one person's life it is the most important trait for a mate for them. If you are not religeous, or religous enough, it may not be worth it for you in the long run. Can you see yourself sitting in church, listening and taking in the preachers sermon with all your heart, without the girl by your side? If not, it probably wouldn't work. As far as changing your entire life to be with her..... People are who they are. From beginning to end. You can change what you do, or when you do it, but you can't change how. You shouldn't have to change your most fundamental self for anyone. Not your parents, not your friends, and certainly not your girlfriend. Usually what happens is you'll go on a (insert whatever you gave up for her here) binge, and over-indulge yourself, after that first major fight you have. She'll find out either by your confession, or by someone who saw you, and you'll be right where you are today. My situation is similar to the fact that I have to make a decision whether I'm happy with a part-time lover, or if I want more from him. Fact is I'm not. I'm ready for more with him, or someone else. It's just hard to break it completely off. I know it's going to end, and my only option is to cherish what we had, and know that it was nobody's fault we ended. You'll get to the point where I'm at sooner or later, probably because she'll find a boyfriend. You'll hang around in hopes that they'll break up, like I did, but in the end you need to do what's right for your well being. Good Luck Y Link to post Share on other sites
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