torngirl Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 I am new. I never thought that I would be on a website talking about this, but I suppose neither did any of you. I am 26. I was married at 24 to a 34 year old man. I married him because he was safe. He was secure and he loved me more than anything. During our entire marriage I have been trying to fall in love with him. He is so amazing and so wonderful. He hasn't done anything wrong. In fact, on paper he is perfect. I have always followed my head and that is what I did when we were married. It all happened so fast and it seemed so right at the time. I feel like I am drowning. I love him and I want more than anything to feel about him the way a wife should feel about her husband. I have tried so hard (believe me when I say this). I have brought it up before and it didn't seem like a big deal to him. I never had any passion for him. I am not talking about the stuff that goes away after a couple of months. I am talking about wanting to be with him. The type of love that you know will last. To not hear your heart stop when someone reminds you that he is the man that you are supposed to grow old with. He said that he loves me and that he would do anything to make it work. Can you process a feeling that should have always been there? We are separating. I am not sure about counseling because I don't know if things would change. How do you make up a feeling that should have been there to begin with? He is so amazing that I don't want to prolong the inevitable and hurt him anymore than I already have. Since I am so young, I don't really have any married friends and my single friends don't know what to say. They can barely make out what I am saying between sobs to begin with. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
praying4answers Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 Although I do not condone separation or divorce for that matter, I think a separation might be a first step in realizing your true feelings for your husband. I would say if you feel a separation is the right thing for you then do it. It might we wise to also seek counseling for yourself as well as for your marriage. In the end, I think you will come to a better understanding of yourself and what you need in order to be happy. No matter what your final decision is. One word of caution from someone who made this mistake....Don't get involved with another man before you have brought closure to your current situation. My husband and I have been separated for almost two years but I can tell you that when I did leave I thought I had absolutely no feelings for him left in me at all. I was wrong! It is not possible for us to be together now due to circumstances I will not go into at this time. Start praying God will lead you where you need to be and to whom, if anyone, you are supposed to spend your life with. You might just be surprised. God bless you and your husband both! Link to post Share on other sites
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