My "I love you" letter to my ex. Thoughts? (long, but for a reason)

[Lilmisus]

Some of you may know that during my one year relationship, my ex told me he loved me a couple of times but I never told him it back. I did (and still do) love him very much, just the fear was overwhelming, and it never came out. Over the past three weeks, the regret has been eating me alive, making it to where I can't sleep, can barely eat, and it feels as though it's keeping me from moving on with my life. After talking to some friends, they told me that I need to tell him how I felt, even though I'm not trying to get back together with him, since if I don't, the regret probably wont go away. Plus, it's always better to say what you're feeling than not, they said.

 

So, I'm definitely going to give him this letter tomorrow or Monday (if he'll take it), though I tried telling him in person the other day and was unable to get it out in the hour we were talking. I'm just hoping that some people can tell me what to expect from him after he reads it. Will he ignore me? Treat me differently? Be mad? Be relieved? I really don't know, and I'm hoping someone can give me an idea as to what to expect, even if you don't read the letter (which I hand wrote after typing it).

 

Ex,

 

Although I know and accept the fact that our relationship is over, there were some things that I just couldn’t let go of and move on about. I’m not trying to win you back with this letter, and I’m not trying to change your mind, since I understand and respect your decision. But, I just have some regrets. The type of regrets that has been keeping me up at night and making me sick to my stomach to think about. These aren’t the type of regrets like you have where you regretted trusting me – though you have no reason to – these were regrets about how and who I was in our relationship, and regrets that I could have and should have done more; though I know both of us could have and should have done more. I know that telling you about this now wont change anything between us, but I feel as though it will help me to put it out there, and hopefully move on with my life, which is something that I think both of us agree is what I need to do.

 

 

When we first started seeing each other last year, I wasn’t looking for anything serious and I wasn’t looking for anything lasting. To me, I just wanted to try dating a little bit, and who better to do it with then this cute, great guy who asked me out in the sweetest way I’d ever heard that won me over. Needless to say, I wasn’t looking for someone to love, to share the rest of my life with, or to even share the rest of the rest of the year with, especially since I didn’t think our relationship would go on for as long as it did; I was just looking for someone to go on a few dates with who I didn’t think would end up meaning that much to me. But something happened, soon after we started dating, I fell head over heels in love with you, and it scared me, a lot. I didn’t want to be “that girl” who claimed to be in love after only a couple of months with their first boyfriend, nor did I want to make the mistake of thinking or telling you I was in love when in fact, it was a little crush or simply infatuation, especially if you didn’t feel the same way. It didn’t help at all when you accidentally told me you loved me that one night and took it all back and said that it was like a friend. It just scared me more, and it made it to where my feelings were never really said, though I wanted to say it.

 

 

The thing is, you meant the absolute world to me, and still do, sadly. Everything about who you are amazes me more than you realize, and though I wasn’t looking for it when we first started dating, I realized soon on that I at least wanted to spend a good portion of my life with you. Not just a year or two, but for as long as I felt as strongly as I do towards you and for as long as I thought that you at least may feel the same towards me. I wasn’t looking to spend the rest of my life with you though, since I knew from the very beginning that we are two very different people who are on two different walks of life, and that it was way too soon to tell if we were meant to be together for longer than we were. Especially considering the fact that neither one of us knows what we’re doing with our lives yet, at all. I don’t know if I’ll be in (here) till the day I die and will end up dropping out of college, or if I’ll move away to some foreign country to use my degree for more than just an accessory on the wall. You don’t know your future yet either, so to hear you give your argument was pretty much a huge shock for me since the future for either of us (especially together) is incredibly cloudy, and it made me wonder if you were looking for something much more serious than I had thought. To me though, as long as we were together, I was the happiest I could be. Now that we’re not, it feels like a nice sized part of me is missing, and it still hurts. You’re still the only guy I want to be with, and the mere thought of going on a date with anyone else yet just makes me sick to my stomach; which is what I meant when I said that I didn’t think I could go out with anyone else yet even though guys were asking. I know that given the right amount of time and to wait for the right guy though, that I’ll be able to again, and I’m hoping that by writing this letter it will help speed up that process.

 

 

But, this is what I meant when I said I had regrets. You were not a regret at all, nor was anything we did together. In fact, I still think of our relationship as a huge positive even though I know it wasn’t nearly as great as it could have and should have been. There were a lot of things that were missing from it, and because of that, our relationship that we had isn’t one that I’m willing to fight to get back, since you’re right, I do deserve better than that. I regret though, not letting you know just how much you meant to me, and not telling you I loved you, even if you hinted that you may have felt the same towards me. I just feel that I led you on to believe that you didn’t mean nearly as much to me as you did, and that by doing so, I hurt our relationship and what could have been. Part of me wonders if our relationship would have played out differently if I didn’t get sucked into my own fear of rejection from you and just let you know just how strong my feelings were, but I guess we’ll never know. I know it’s too late to make a difference or to have my feelings have any impact on you or our relationship, and like I said, this isn’t my way of trying to get you back or change your mind. I wanted to say something many times to you about my feelings, but each time I over thought it, for one reason or another, and it just didn’t come out. I was planning something special for the second since it was an important day to me, but we both know why that didn’t happen. Thinking that, and just wondering what “could have been” hurts a lot, and may just end up being one of the biggest regrets I’ll ever have.

 

 

I know and accept that you don’t feel the same towards me as I feel towards you though, though it does hurt, obviously, and like I said before, I’m not trying to fight that. If it’s not there, it’s not there, and there’s nothing I can do or say that will change that fact if it’s the truth. I just hope and pray that you will put yourself on the right track to find true happiness, and that nothing will get in your way of that. I also hope that you find someone who you love as much as I love you, and that if and when you find her that you don’t let her go. No matter if you think you’re going different ways or that she deserves better or whatever reasons you can think of to talk yourself out of being with her. I know you have it in you to give someone all they deserve and a “fairytale ending” if you truly want to. I wanted you to give that to me, and a nice sized part of me definitely still does honestly, but I know I’ll find someone else who can, who does want to give me that, it will just take a matter of time before I find him.

 

 

Though of course, I still want to at least try to be friends with you, like you said that you wanted when you broke up with me. I want to be able to talk and joke around with you when I see you, and to not let our relationship get in the way of what is a relatively new friendship. You became such an important person to me during our relationship and helped me so much, and became someone who I am willing to fight to keep in my life, and I don’t want to lose the friendship, too. So I only ask that if you hear that I say anything about you as you’ve heard these past couple of weeks, or any rumors that concern us, just to please let me know about it instead of just believing what you hear and giving me the cold shoulder because of it. It’s tempting to do, I know, but I don’t want to jeopardize any friendship we could have by spreading rumors or secrets like it’s everyone’s business. You’re the most important person to me there, and your feelings mean more to me than that. So please… please just remember how much you mean to me and never forget it, that’s all I’m really asking for.

 

Love always,

Lilmisus

 

P.S. Sorry for the length. I wanted to say everything that was on my mind and not hold anything back, so a six page letter (what it came to be when hand written) was the only other way to do it, though I really and truly wanted to tell you in person. Please don't consider my feelings any less true because of that.

[Fufu]

It's your decision if you want to send this letter or not.

 

Although in my opinion, I won't recommend you to send it.

 

Because, i sent the letter to my ex bf and this was what he told me,

"Oh, I read your letter, I understand where you are coming from, however I just don't see we can be together anymore, I can change my thinking to work things out with you but I cannot change my feelings our relationship is just destined to be failed again."

 

That was what I got from him and I ended up even more upset.

 

What is your objective of sending that letter to him?

 

1. He don't reply you

You will get all rejected again.

 

2. He replies you but said this is too late, we are over.

You will become more sad and rejected again.

 

3. Said thanks for sending him the letter and ask you to be him friend instead of being in a relationship.

You will start to get confused by him and start to think that there is a change to be together again. When in fact he just wanted to be your friend and nothing else.

 

You may write a letter, but don't send to it. After writing the letter, read one last time what you wrote and tear it away or burn the piece of paper.

 

He's the one choosing to give up on this relationship, you didn't make him to.

 

If he really wants to be with you again, let him be the one who realizes this in his own HEART and make sincere actions to be with you again.

[Am4Real]

Lilmisus,

 

Good morning!

 

Read FUFU’s reply to you very carefully. There is some sound advice contained within.

 

After you consider that guidance take this into account: there are very few stories of a “sent” break up letter accomplishing anything with an EX. In almost all instances you will not get the reaction you are intending and come to regret sending it at some point either out of frustration or embarrassment.

 

Writing the letter for therapeutic reasons is excellent – you have a documented version of how you feel and why you feel that way. I suggest you put the letter away and perhaps pull it out in a few days and reread it. I’ll bet you feel differently as each few days and repetitive reading of your words passes.

 

Good luck.

 

Am4Real

[Lilmisus]

It's your decision if you want to send this letter or not.

 

Although in my opinion, I won't recommend you to send it.

 

Because, i sent the letter to my ex bf and this was what he told me,

"Oh, I read your letter, I understand where you are coming from, however I just don't see we can be together anymore, I can change my thinking to work things out with you but I cannot change my feelings our relationship is just destined to be failed again."

 

That was what I got from him and I ended up even more upset.

 

What is your objective of sending that letter to him?

 

1. He don't reply you

You will get all rejected again.

 

2. He replies you but said this is too late, we are over.

You will become more sad and rejected again.

 

3. Said thanks for sending him the letter and ask you to be him friend instead of being in a relationship.

You will start to get confused by him and start to think that there is a change to be together again. When in fact he just wanted to be your friend and nothing else.

 

You may write a letter, but don't send to it. After writing the letter, read one last time what you wrote and tear it away or burn the piece of paper.

 

He's the one choosing to give up on this relationship, you didn't make him to.

 

If he really wants to be with you again, let him be the one who realizes this in his own HEART and make sincere actions to be with you again.

 

My point is not to make us be together again, I've already told him that I'm not trying to win him back or convince him to be with me. I actually don't want to go back to our relationship at all, it was way too one-sided for me, and I agree with him when he told me that he wasn't in a place to be in a relationship. I know he needs to grow first, earn money, and get his life on the right track before he can even think about dating anyone serious again, and I've told him that.

 

My point of giving this to him, is the fact that he didn't know how much he meant to me, I never told him, and the fact that I never told him, hurts a lot. I feel like if I did, then things could have been different. Maybe he would have wanted me there with him while he got his life together. Maybe he would have treated me better, or chose me over his friends more, I don't know. All I know is that when he told me he loved me, and I didn't say it back, he started pulling wayyy back from me in the relationship, and that's when it started being more one-sided and when I knew that it would soon be ending.

 

I'm planning on telling him when I give it to him: "The point is NOT to win you back, if I was trying to win you back, I would be telling you this in person and trying everything I could, not just write a letter. The point is to get it out there, so that I can move on with my life and not have this regret eat at me anymore. I asked you before if you could change a regret would you, and this is me at least trying to change it. Just keep it in mind as you read it, please."

 

But I thank you guys for your advice, and I'm sorry your ex responded the way he did. I have though, written it out many, many times, and have thought about this for a while. This is probably the 15th letter I've written to him, but the first I'll be giving. Typically I would just burn it, or just throw it away after getting it off my chest..but I need him to know it, since unless he does, then the regret is going to keep eating me alive for I don't know however long.

 

And we're already friends, haha, so at least I don't have to worry about the third option..if that would be considered a plus side to this.

[Fufu]

Do what you feel is most comfortable for yourself

 

I do hope you start your own healing journey.

 

You are a mature person and I do believe you will be fine.

 

My point of giving this to him, is the fact that he didn't know how much he meant to me, I never told him, and the fact that I never told him, hurts a lot. I feel like if I did, then things could have been different. Maybe he would have wanted me there with him while he got his life together. Maybe he would have treated me better, or chose me over his friends more, I don't know. All I know is that when he told me he loved me, and I didn't say it back, he started pulling wayyy back from me in the relationship, and that's when it started being more one-sided and when I knew that it would soon be ending.

 

This was past, you don't have to blame yourself anymore.

[Lilmisus]

Do what you feel is most comfortable for yourself

 

I do hope you start your own healing journey.

 

You are a mature person and I do believe you will be fine.

 

My point of giving this to him, is the fact that he didn't know how much he meant to me, I never told him, and the fact that I never told him, hurts a lot. I feel like if I did, then things could have been different. Maybe he would have wanted me there with him while he got his life together. Maybe he would have treated me better, or chose me over his friends more, I don't know. All I know is that when he told me he loved me, and I didn't say it back, he started pulling wayyy back from me in the relationship, and that's when it started being more one-sided and when I knew that it would soon be ending.

 

This was past, you don't have to blame yourself anymore.

 

Thanks , and I know. It's just easier said then done ya know? I've tried to move on from it, tried talking to other guys and not thinking about it, but it's hard to let it go. Like I said, I want to at least try to change a regret since I have the chance and well he's still in my life. I know that if something happened to him and I never let him know..then it would kill me even more than it's doing now, since I still can let it be known now, even though it wont change anything. It's just hard seeing him 4 times a week (or more) and knowing that all that I was feeling was left unsaid. I'm hoping that this will just allow me to sleep in peace at night again. Hopefully it will.

[Am4Real]

After re-reading your post and the replies through the thread I’m of the opinion you do want him back and this “letter” is a ploy to open up conversation about you both.

 

Look...the relationship is over (supposedly) so who cares what you could have said or what you should have said? If you’re that worried and filled with regret, take it as a lesson learned; in the next relationship perhaps you’ll speak up accordingly.

 

Next, why on earth would you care how he reacts to your letter? If you’re that hell bent on delivering your news and embarrassing yourself just give it to him and walk away.

 

I have no idea of your entire story but if an EX of mine had decided to go separate ways whether by their choice or my circumstance, the last thing I want to receive is a letter covering what they could have done to fufill the relationship. Its' over...move on!

[Art_Critic]

IMO... he will never read the letter...

Heck.. even if a guy is in a relationship with a girl and she sent him a letter with that kind of length the chances are he wouldn't even read but the beginning and the end...

 

and you so soooooooo not over him and you are soooooooo trying to win him back

 

Please don't send the letter.. it was great that you wrote it though.

I will say though that you can save it and if he makes aplay for you then you could rewrite it hope it goes well...

[betterdeal]

I've sent and received letters in the past. The one I received, I kept for a long time but they didn't have as much impact as the one I wrote. Saying that, the letter I wrote said lots of things I was unable to express at the time. It still brings a tear to my eye reading my own letter (made a copy).

 

I think letters can be useful in two ways: you can express a lot of feelings by writing a letter and organise your thoughts better as a result, and you can express things things you found too difficult or didn't have the words for previously.

 

You sound like a very sensitive and caring person. The only advice I'd give is to reconsider that last paragraph regarding remaining friends. At this point in your life, I think you will do better to say something like, "I wish you well" and not try to define how you will know each other from now on. Give yourself some space to breathe and any friendship will come naturally if you guys feel friendly towards one another.

[Lilmisus]

After re-reading your post and the replies through the thread I’m of the opinion you do want him back and this “letter” is a ploy to open up conversation about you both.

 

Look...the relationship is over (supposedly) so who cares what you could have said or what you should have said? If you’re that worried and filled with regret, take it as a lesson learned; in the next relationship perhaps you’ll speak up accordingly.

 

Next, why on earth would you care how he reacts to your letter? If you’re that hell bent on delivering your news and embarrassing yourself just give it to him and walk away.

 

I have no idea of your entire story but if an EX of mine had decided to go separate ways whether by their choice or my circumstance, the last thing I want to receive is a letter covering what they could have done to fufill the relationship. Its' over...move on!

 

I didn't hold ANYTHING back in the letter. I didn't want to fall asleep tonight thinking "crap..I should have added..." or "I wish I could tell him..." so I put it all out there. How I felt, how I feel, and what I want. I want to move on, and I want to find someone who could treat me right, but for a year, he meant the world to me, and I wanted him to know that. I know it wont make a single difference between us, and that he may think that it's me still trying to pine for him and that I want to be with him still.. but that's not it at all. If he asked me to take him back tomorrow, I wouldn't because he can't give me the type of relationship I want and deserve. Sure, I would be tempted to, but he'd have to change first in order for that to happen..which change doesn't occur overnight.

 

As of tonight (with no relevance to the letter) he doesn't feel that we can be friends anymore (though I'm trying to be still). If you look at my recent post you'll see why (but it's long so I don't think anyone will willingly read it). But before I wrote this letter and before tonight we were talking all the time and trying to be friends. So, I had no issue being able to talk to him, about us or not about us, so this wasn't a way to open up that door. But I cared how he reacted to the letter because like I said..we're trying to be friends. I cared if he would give me the cold shoulder, be mad, or end our friendship..but now I don't honestly. I don't have a care in the world, and I'm honestly 100% glad I gave this to him. I don't have that regret looming over me any more, and I can finally move on with my life.

 

He told me that he'd talk to me about the letter tomorrow after he read it tonight. I told him that if he wanted to, he could, if not, then whatever, but he said that he wanted to. If our friendship is already gone, there's nothing more that we can lose, I just am glad that he can gain the truth and that I can get a load off of my chest.

 

So, I guess that my next update will be what happens tomorrow and what he says and his reaction is. If it's negative..right now, I don't care, don't have anything to lose. And if it's positive..then it won't really change anything anyway. But I feel that I made the right decision here, and I'm glad I followed my heart..even though I know you guys said not to do it (eh..most of y'all were too late on that anyway as I was already away from the computer ).

[WillSingForFood]

IMO... he will never read the letter...

Heck.. even if a guy is in a relationship with a girl and she sent him a letter with that kind of length the chances are he wouldn't even read but the beginning and the end...

 

and you so soooooooo not over him and you are soooooooo trying to win him back

 

Please don't send the letter.. it was great that you wrote it though.

I will say though that you can save it and if he makes aplay for you then you could rewrite it hope it goes well...

 

Youre right, most guys probably wouldnt read the letter. None worth while that is. If you meant as much to him as he obviously meant to you though, he'd read it. If he doesnt, then at least you have your answer now rather than worrying about it later on. So I think its a good thing you gave it to him.

 

I did find the letter a little sad and heartbreaking though. Ive read different posts that you made about him, and its sad to see all youve been through and how emotionally invested you are in him to have it end here. Youll find someone better though, much better who you will feel very comfortable saying I love you, to, instead of needing to write it in a letter after you broke up. Hang in there, and I hope to hear the best.

[Am4Real]

But I feel that I made the right decision here, and I'm glad I followed my heart..even though I know you guys said not to do it (eh..most of y'all were too late on that anyway as I was already away from the computer ).

 

 

So, I guess that my next update will be what happens tomorrow and what he says and his reaction is.

 

 

 

 

The thing is you asked the forum for opinions and ultimately that is all we are giving -- the choice is yours and if after due consideration you feel your choice is best then so be it.

 

It's evident you are hurting and for that I am sorry. I hope the best will come of this situation quickly but rest assured it always does for those that [highlight]believe in themselves[/highlight].

 

Keep us posted.

[Lilmisus]

The thing is you asked the forum for opinions and ultimately that is all we are giving -- the choice is yours and if after due consideration you feel your choice is best then so be it.

 

It's evident you are hurting and for that I am sorry. I hope the best will come of this situation quickly but rest assured it always does for those that [highlight]believe in themselves[/highlight].

 

Keep us posted.

 

You're right, I did, and I'm very glad I did. What y'all said prepared me for the absolute worst (I'll end up being more hurt than I was beforehand, and he'll hate it), which hopefully wont happen, but it easily can, so thanks for helping me prepare for that and to get the mindset in the right place, so that I didn't delude myself into thinking something great would probably come from it. I think it was better to hear "don't do it!" than it was to hear "awww, that's so cute, he'll love it and take you back and you'll live happily ever after!" If for no other reason than to not hurt me after he saw it.

 

My close friend who read it before giving it to him and who encouraged me to write it, felt it was more of a "happy ending" love letter, one that would be in a love story type book or movie, and the way she put it, made it seem as if we would end up riding away together under the sunset or whatever. I'm just glad that I didn't hold tight to her perception of it (I didn't hold onto it at all, didn't even consider it, honestly), and instead had y'all tell me what you did.

 

But, an update will come tonight, we'll see what will happen

[Flgirl44]

Apologies for coming off insensitive but why are you investing so much time and thought into a relationship you don't want to rekindle? The closure you are looking for can only be found in yourself. Unless you broke up over not saying I love you back I don't see the point in letting it be known. It's not his responsibility to set your mind at ease. It's up to you to iron out all the what-ifs on your own, that's what breaking up is.

 

I know of a few guys that would keep letters like this from their exes to pump up their ego at a later date. And a couple of them actually told me to read some, and usually they come off really desperate and sad. Don't do that. Goodluck!

[timchambo]

I am all for sending a hand written letter as your last statement to him. I dont know how long its been since you broke up as I only skimmed the rest. I did something very similar shortly after I split with my ex. If all you hope to accomplish is let him know your true feelings about him, I think this may be the best way. You don't have to hear his voice, which is nice if your trying to get over him. There is no 'reply' button for him to quickly reply to. Its also something he may pull out when hes feeling nostalgic.

[Lilmisus]

Apologies for coming off insensitive but why are you investing so much time and thought into a relationship you don't want to rekindle? The closure you are looking for can only be found in yourself. Unless you broke up over not saying I love you back I don't see the point in letting it be known. It's not his responsibility to set your mind at ease. It's up to you to iron out all the what-ifs on your own, that's what breaking up is.

 

I know of a few guys that would keep letters like this from their exes to pump up their ego at a later date. And a couple of them actually told me to read some, and usually they come off really desperate and sad. Don't do that. Goodluck!

 

I'll be honest and say, yea I'm not over him at all. Like I said in the letter, I still love him and the thought of dating anyone else makes me sick to my stomach still. Though I know that we wont be together now..part of me still hopes and wonders if a few years from now when he's got his act straight that we could try it again. That's not why I wrote it, but there's the truth for those who've wondered.

 

But with a recent turn of events, that hope is now out the window. But honestly, it just feels better to know he knows how I feel, and that I did all that I can do. Last night, it gave me a peace of mind that I haven't felt in the past few months (even though I was angry at him) and it felt great to not have it nagging at me.

 

Really..that's what I was trying to accomplish mainly. Getting rid of that nagging feeling that just wouldn't go away. It's gone now, and I feel great. (plus, I asked him to keep it between us, and he said he understood. He's great at doing that, so I'm hoping that he doesn't do what those friends of yours did and show it to everyone who wants to see it). Have yet to see him though, will do so in an hour...so hopefully he doesn't consider me a "psycho" for giving it to him. If he does..eh, whatevs.

[ASG]

Apologies for coming off insensitive but why are you investing so much time and thought into a relationship you don't want to rekindle? The closure you are looking for can only be found in yourself. Unless you broke up over not saying I love you back I don't see the point in letting it be known. It's not his responsibility to set your mind at ease. It's up to you to iron out all the what-ifs on your own, that's what breaking up is.

 

I know of a few guys that would keep letters like this from their exes to pump up their ego at a later date. And a couple of them actually told me to read some, and usually they come off really desperate and sad. Don't do that. Goodluck!

 

Sometimes, for you to achieve closure, you have to let it all out. If it's in letter form, so be it. You're right that closure comes from within, but if she felt she couldn't move on without saying what she felt, then ultimately, there will be no harm in sending a letter.

[Lilmisus]

So, tonight sucked. I had to leave early and decided to put in my two weeks notice since I can't take it anymore. My manager refuses to put it in yet though..so I'm not sure if I'll be working there any longer or what.

 

We didn't talk at all tonight, I guess he's sticking true to the whole no longer friends thing, I dunno. But, his best friend who I'm friends with told me something that hurt. He told me that I'm so much prettier and better and smarter than my ex's new girlfriend. Apparently he thought he told me that last night when we were talking (and when I gave him the letter), but my ex told me that nothing was going on between them and that he wasn't looking to date anyone. When he broke up with me he said it was because he couldn't be in a relationship right now and he had to get his life on track and all this sh*t to make it easier on me. But according to his friend, he left me for her, and that my ex's sister said that that's his girlfriend (who is my coworker..read my other thread, I wont go into details). He said that my ex was lying to me, and that I must be a real good girl to believe him.

 

At the end, after having a good cry, I went up to my ex and asked him why I heard something different than what he told me. He asked who told me what, and I told him that I couldn't say, since his friend told me not to. He yelled and said that he was tired of all this bullsh*it. I asked if he was lying to me and if he had been and he said no, he hadn't and said that he was done after I told him that I heard differently.

 

The letter was never brought up..but it may have had something to do with the way he was acting, I don't know. All I know is that I am 100% over him now, even though I'm not sure what to believe. I know his friend has been flirting with me and even suggested that we could be together, so I'm wondering if this is his way of getting with me and getting me over him or what..I don't know. Everyone else is saying the same thing though: he's lying. I'm just so f*cking sick of liars..and I told him that the only way I'd ever hate him was if he lied to me..and I'm pretty positive he has been.

 

I still am 100% glad though that I gave him that letter. Best decision I could have made.

[Am4Real]

So, tonight sucked. I had to leave early and decided to put in my two weeks notice since I can't take it anymore. My manager refuses to put it in yet though..so I'm not sure if I'll be working there any longer or what.

 

We didn't talk at all tonight, I guess he's sticking true to the whole no longer friends thing, I dunno. But, his best friend who I'm friends with told me something that hurt. He told me that I'm so much prettier and better and smarter than my ex's new girlfriend. Apparently he thought he told me that last night when we were talking (and when I gave him the letter), but my ex told me that nothing was going on between them and that he wasn't looking to date anyone. When he broke up with me he said it was because he couldn't be in a relationship right now and he had to get his life on track and all this sh*t to make it easier on me. But according to his friend, he left me for her, and that my ex's sister said that that's his girlfriend (who is my coworker..read my other thread, I wont go into details). He said that my ex was lying to me, and that I must be a real good girl to believe him.

 

At the end, after having a good cry, I went up to my ex and asked him why I heard something different than what he told me. He asked who told me what, and I told him that I couldn't say, since his friend told me not to. He yelled and said that he was tired of all this bullsh*it. I asked if he was lying to me and if he had been and he said no, he hadn't and said that he was done after I told him that I heard differently.

 

The letter was never brought up..but it may have had something to do with the way he was acting, I don't know. All I know is that I am 100% over him now, even though I'm not sure what to believe. I know his friend has been flirting with me and even suggested that we could be together, so I'm wondering if this is his way of getting with me and getting me over him or what..I don't know. Everyone else is saying the same thing though: he's lying. I'm just so f*cking sick of liars..and I told him that the only way I'd ever hate him was if he lied to me..and I'm pretty positive he has been.

 

I still am 100% glad though that I gave him that letter. Best decision I could have made.

 

One thing for sure is you are one-hundred percent mad – you are definitely not one-hundred percent over him. When you are over him and you will be in time, you wouldn’t get into a “he says” or “you said” confrontation; frankly you just will not care.

 

Stop worrying about the situation and for heaven’s sake, STOP TALKING to him. Time to move on.

[Lilmisus]

One thing for sure is you are one-hundred percent mad – you are definitely not one-hundred percent over him. When you are over him and you will be in time, you wouldn’t get into a “he says” or “you said” confrontation; frankly you just will not care.

 

Stop worrying about the situation and for heaven’s sake, STOP TALKING to him. Time to move on.

 

True, I guess I should have worded differently. I just know that I wouldn't go back to him no matter what now. It's hard to not talk to him..we freaking work together. Tis the reason I'm trying to quit.

[Fufu]

NC still works even if you are working with your ex.

 

If it is work related only, then sometimes communication has to go on with no choice.

 

But you don't have to talk to him that is not related to work anymore.

[love is dangerous]

you should not have sent that letter, he knows his got a hold on you now

[Flgirl44]

So, tonight sucked. I had to leave early and decided to put in my two weeks notice since I can't take it anymore. My manager refuses to put it in yet though..so I'm not sure if I'll be working there any longer or what.

 

We didn't talk at all tonight, I guess he's sticking true to the whole no longer friends thing, I dunno. But, his best friend who I'm friends with told me something that hurt. He told me that I'm so much prettier and better and smarter than my ex's new girlfriend. Apparently he thought he told me that last night when we were talking (and when I gave him the letter), but my ex told me that nothing was going on between them and that he wasn't looking to date anyone. When he broke up with me he said it was because he couldn't be in a relationship right now and he had to get his life on track and all this sh*t to make it easier on me. But according to his friend, he left me for her, and that my ex's sister said that that's his girlfriend (who is my coworker..read my other thread, I wont go into details). He said that my ex was lying to me, and that I must be a real good girl to believe him.

 

At the end, after having a good cry, I went up to my ex and asked him why I heard something different than what he told me. He asked who told me what, and I told him that I couldn't say, since his friend told me not to. He yelled and said that he was tired of all this bullsh*it. I asked if he was lying to me and if he had been and he said no, he hadn't and said that he was done after I told him that I heard differently.

 

The letter was never brought up..but it may have had something to do with the way he was acting, I don't know. All I know is that I am 100% over him now, even though I'm not sure what to believe. I know his friend has been flirting with me and even suggested that we could be together, so I'm wondering if this is his way of getting with me and getting me over him or what..I don't know. Everyone else is saying the same thing though: he's lying. I'm just so f*cking sick of liars..and I told him that the only way I'd ever hate him was if he lied to me..and I'm pretty positive he has been.

 

I still am 100% glad though that I gave him that letter. Best decision I could have made.

 

I've heard the whole" gotta get my stuff together" line before. It's crap. I'm starting to think it's very common cop out amongst men. Almost like thinking out loud. Getting yourself together is not a reason to break up with someone because you could easily do that while with them if you really liked them enough. It's so ambiguous but the outcome after a person says this should be the same: RUNNNNN haha

 

Notice how he didn't say "No im not." right off the bat? He said "who told you?" That and his burst of anger--signs of lying. I know because I have had the EXACT same signs presented to me.

From your posts you seem like a really sweet girl with a lot of love to give. I think it would be best to stay as far away from him as possible, he sounds pretty insensitive.

 

As for the note, im glad you sent it too if it set your mind at ease. I respect that everyone grieves differently.

[Lilmisus]

I've heard the whole" gotta get my stuff together" line before. It's crap. I'm starting to think it's very common cop out amongst men. Almost like thinking out loud. Getting yourself together is not a reason to break up with someone because you could easily do that while with them if you really liked them enough. It's so ambiguous but the outcome after a person says this should be the same: RUNNNNN haha

 

Notice how he didn't say "No im not." right off the bat? He said "who told you?" That and his burst of anger--signs of lying. I know because I have had the EXACT same signs presented to me.

From your posts you seem like a really sweet girl with a lot of love to give. I think it would be best to stay as far away from him as possible, he sounds pretty insensitive.

 

As for the note, im glad you sent it too if it set your mind at ease. I respect that everyone grieves differently.

 

For his slight defense, he did say multiple times last night that they weren't together (calmly), both to me and to a couple of other friends. But, my one good friend told me that he had lied to me before about her, and that our friend yelled at her for telling me about them. Plus, with his best friend telling me he's lying, I just can't trust him. He at first said "No, I'm not" last night, but I think that since all these people are giving him all this crap for it, that he is just sick of it. I just wish I knew who to believe here since he swore up and down multiple times that he wouldn't lie to me, and really, that's what hurts the most here, just wondering if he is, and if so what else he lied to me about.

 

And yes, it was the easy way out. He said that he felt that he shouldn't be in a relationship right now and that he couldn't, and when I reminded him of that, he said that that's not what he said, but that's only what I got from it (not true). I just so wish that I could avoid him, her, all the rumors, and all these people telling me things that I honestly don't want to hear. But these people like to put their noses in other people's business, and honestly to them I just wanna say f.uck you.

 

God, I just want to move on with my life, but no one (especially myself) is allowing me to.

[Lilmisus]

you should not have sent that letter, he knows his got a hold on you now

 

Regardless, I'm glad that I did. I feel so much better about that now. That for sure will not be a regret of mine at all. Plus, I don't think he even cares. If he did, he'd of told me he did yesterday instead of saying that he was done with all of this.