Okay, I've asked before or similar - What does a woman have to do to be good in bed

[Toodamnpragmatic]

I am naive to think all a woman needs to do is be enthusiastic, enjoy sex and orgasm to be a good partner???? Dan Savage says it best - You have to be GGG (Good, Giving, Generous)....

 

From a man's pov, we have a whole lot more to live up to... We need to read a woman's reactions, know what she wants subconsciously, need to control the rhythm and hell control our urges.... To be able to bring a woman to orgasm in 2 minutes and then start her up again is wonderful..... For a man to be done in 2 minutes is not so good......

 

Am i out of left field to think men are the ones generally doing the vast majority of the heavy lifting in the bedroom? When women do more in the bedroom, then usually men compete and certainly raise their game too.... Those that don't are lazy, lousy lovers and should be kicked to the curb.....

 

Maybe belongs in another section of LS..... But again this is one of those chasms between men and women that is both fascinating and frustrating too....

[carhill]

1. Put down the romance novel

 

2. Wash the cooch

 

3. Pay attention to the going's on

 

4. Don't say 'are you done yet?'

 

My needs are simple

[xxoo]

Great thread! I'll be interested in reading responses from marriage-minded men

 

If you don't mind me asking--what would make a woman GREAT in bed?

[Toodamnpragmatic]

I thought I answered it above. Not much;)... Just be receptive and ggg....

 

I always have thought men need to do the heavy lifting and make sure she is satisfied and enjoying it.....

[threebyfate]

Why are you so competitive tdp? Relationships aren't a competition or a power struggle and once they become as such, they're over.

[xxoo]

I thought I answered it above. Not much;)... Just be receptive and ggg....

 

I always have thought men need to do the heavy lifting and make sure she is satisfied and enjoying it.....

 

What is generous, in Savage's GGG? One man's "generous" might be another man's "inhibited". What is "good" and "giving"? I need to know!

[giotto]

First, initiating, occasionally... secondly, be a bit more inventive, occasionally (why do I keep using the same word? )... having sex for 20 years in the same bed, same room, same routine is a bit, erm, deja vu? Some dressing up would be good, too. Actually, I would be quite happy to have more sex, full stop...

[Toodamnpragmatic]

Why are you so competitive tdp? Relationships aren't a competition or a power struggle and once they become as such, they're over.

 

This is no power struggle..... I was stating an opinion and my thoughts as the genesis for a thread. Maybe I just don't know any better, but I think males have to do more in bed.... Sorry us males feel a responsibility to get you females to the finish line rightly or wrongly.... So yes I think there is more required of a male.

 

As my example above has a male ever been upset with a female having an orgasm in under 2 minutes???? Same go if a male comes in under 2 minutes??? Is the female proud? The male is embarrassed and apologizing.

 

xxoo - very simply if the female is not just lying there, is a little (usually not too) adventurous, wears lingerie once in a blue moon, initiates sometimes (as Giotto intimates), is willing to try different positions and is into the act, enjoys sex at a decent level and orgasms, you would have a hard time getting rid of 90-95% of males.....:p

 

BTW look at Giotto's response and the little he wants from his wife..... Sorry doesn't seem as if he is asking the world of her when it comes to sex...... Yep more is all he really would want to be happy......

Edited April 11, 2011 by Toodamnpragmatic

[threebyfate]

This is no power struggle..... I was stating an opinion and my thoughts as the genesis for a thread. Maybe I just don't know any better, but I think males have to do more in bed.... Sorry us males feel a responsibility to get you females to the finish line rightly or wrongly.... So yes I think there is more required of a male.

 

As my example above has a male ever been upset with a female having an orgasm in under 2 minutes???? Same go if a male comes in under 2 minutes??? Is the female proud? The male is embarrassed and apologizing.

The only reason why a guy's embarrassed is because of the refractory period. If he didn't have any delays, there shouldn't be any problems.

 

One of the hottest rounds of sex ever with a partner was when he made it 3 times in 15 minutes. HOLY HOTNESS!

 

People should just relax and enjoy each other's bodies. Forget all the b/s anxiety and expectations. Just relax and it WILL...cum.

[betterdeal]

Being an active participant makes it much more fun. When it's two (or more) people playing together, it's a helluver lot more fun. That's not to say that I won't sometimes be dominating and driving home hard and deep, or that I want a bucking bronco porn star every night, but you know, a bit of variety is ideal. Lying there, waiting for sex to be done to her, every time, makes it feel like a glorified wank.

[xxoo]

As my example above has a male ever been upset with a female having an orgasm in under 2 minutes???? Same go if a male comes in under 2 minutes??? Is the female proud? The male is embarrassed and apologizing.

 

If the guy is willing to continue play until the woman is satisfied, him finishing in 2 minutes really isn't a problem. In fact, as TBF said, it can be HOT if he just can't hold back sometimes. No apology necessary--I'm flattered!

 

Yes, we expect you to stay involved and help us get there, too....but you expect the same from us. Can you imagine if the woman was just "done" after she came in 2 minutes? If she just apologized and got up to wash up?

 

xxoo - very simply if the female is not just lying there, is a little (usually not too) adventurous, wears lingerie once in a blue moon, initiates sometimes (as Giotto intimates), is willing to try different positions and is into the act, enjoys sex at a decent level and orgasms, you would have a hard time getting rid of 90-95% of males.....:p

 

Things that stick out to me are the men that have all this, but are unsatisfied because their spouse gained some weight....or the men that always seem to want one or two things beyond what the wife is comfortable with as far as adventure...but hopefully those guys are the exception.

[Toodamnpragmatic]

If the guy is willing to continue play until the woman is satisfied, him finishing in 2 minutes really isn't a problem. In fact, as TBF said, it can be HOT if he just can't hold back sometimes. No apology necessary--I'm flattered!

 

Yes, we expect you to stay involved and help us get there, too....but you expect the same from us. Can you imagine if the woman was just "done" after she came in 2 minutes? If she just apologized and got up to wash up?

 

 

 

Things that stick out to me are the men that have all this, but are unsatisfied because their spouse gained some weight....or the men that always seem to want one or two things beyond what the wife is comfortable with as far as adventure...but hopefully those guys are the exception.

 

One, very few are upset with some weight, but tbh, too much can be an issue for many (and probably would be for me)..... And as for the second thing I highlighted, yes they are the exception......

 

Oh yea and if a man is having trouble getting to the finish line or losing their erection, heck that too I imagine:D;) is embarrassing........

[ConfusedCarolina]

To me, it's good to talk about sexual fantasies & touching each other after sex not just before. And what's giving is both people to touch & kiss each other all over not just certain parts. Like touching all over a guy's back, not just his shoulders & kissing a woman's stomach not just her nipples.

 

If you both are still tingling afterwards, then it was mind blowing good. I've have guys lose erections before (mostly happens when they're stressed out) & I just tell the them that I guess I wore them out, so I'll give them a back rub or something. So that way they aren't feeling too bad about it. And I've had guys finish too quickly & yeah I tell them that they can't help it if I'm that good in bed . I look at it like this - there's times I'm too tired or stressed out to climax & it's got nothing to do with anything the guy does or doesn't do.

[Toodamnpragmatic]

To me, it's good to talk about sexual fantasies & touching each other after sex not just before. And what's giving is both people to touch & kiss each other all over not just certain parts. Like touching all over a guy's back, not just his shoulders & kissing a woman's stomach not just her nipples.

 

If you both are still tingling afterwards, then it was mind blowing good. I've have guys lose erections before (mostly happens when they're stressed out) & I just tell the them that I guess I wore them out, so I'll give them a back rub or something. So that way they aren't feeling too bad about it. And I've had guys finish too quickly & yeah I tell them that they can't help it if I'm that good in bed . I look at it like this - there's times I'm too tired or stressed out to climax & it's got nothing to do with anything the guy does or doesn't do.

 

Your understanding and GGG.... Men are very lucky with you as a partner. Question is still unanswered. Guys what do you expect of a woman, outside don't be a cold fish in bed.......

[LittleTiger]

Your understanding and GGG.... Men are very lucky with you as a partner. Question is still unanswered. Guys what do you expect of a woman, outside don't be a cold fish in bed.......

 

What's to expect TDP? You keep saying it's up to the guy to do most of the work!

 

On this side of the Atlantic, young ladies were always taught to 'just lie back and think of England'

 

I would have thought, for most of the sex-starved male LS regulars, that would be enough to earn a woman a gold star! :cool:

[xxoo]

Am i out of left field to think men are the ones generally doing the vast majority of the heavy lifting in the bedroom?

 

I think the person who is more motivated to get things going will do more of the heavy lifting that particular session. If there is an imbalance of motivation, that will be reflected in the heavy lifting. I don't think men do more when the couple is equally motivated, though (not here, anyway).

 

I do think you underestimate what we women consider our responsibility in bed. We control rhythm and watch your signs when on top, or giving a hj or bj. We press through our urge to roll over and go to sleep after orgasm , because you haven't gotten there yet! (i think this is something guys take for granted--that we will keep engaging in sex after a huge orgasm that makes us want to pass out. How about some credit for that? )

[StoneCold]

- Dont act like its a chore

- Initiate

- KNOW YOUR MAN each guy is different

[LittleTiger]

I think the person who is more motivated to get things going will do more of the heavy lifting that particular session. If there is an imbalance of motivation, that will be reflected in the heavy lifting. I don't think men do more when the couple is equally motivated, though (not here, anyway).

 

I do think you underestimate what we women consider our responsibility in bed. We control rhythm and watch your signs when on top, or giving a hj or bj. We press through our urge to roll over and go to sleep after orgasm , because you haven't gotten there yet! (i think this is something guys take for granted--that we will keep engaging in sex after a huge orgasm that makes us want to pass out. How about some credit for that? )

 

100% agree with all this - especially the bolded bit!

 

'She comes first' is not always a 'good' thing for the woman. :p

[updown]

i agree with xxoo too!

 

i would think a woman who is actively engaged would be a good partner. that includes all that xxoo mentions.... thinking beyond ourselves even when we are completely spent!

[SincereOnlineGuy]

What does a woman have to do to be good in bed

 

 

 

Two words: "consensual vulnerability"

 

 

Instead of a woman worrying so much about "pleasing her man", a great game plan is for her to be less inhibited about letting on what would make herself feel good.

 

Most guys worth their oats are quite content with a woman who isn't afraid to describe what she wants and then pursue it. (that in turn turns men on plenty enough to {share the enthusiasm} )

[Toodamnpragmatic]

Two words: "consensual vulnerability"

 

 

Instead of a woman worrying so much about "pleasing her man", a great game plan is for her to be less inhibited about letting on what would make herself feel good.

 

Most guys worth their oats are quite content with a woman who isn't afraid to describe what she wants and then pursue it. (that in turn turns men on plenty enough to {share the enthusiasm} )

 

As I mused in the OP..... Not a whole lot except bring an enjoyment level and let us know what you want (including what we should do) every once in a while..... Oh yea and a good orgasm (or two, three, four.....)

[LittleTiger]

As I mused in the OP..... Not a whole lot except bring an enjoyment level and let us know what you want (including what we should do) every once in a while..... Oh yea and a good orgasm (or two, three, four.....)

 

Is that for you or her?

[Toodamnpragmatic]

how many should I be good for.....

[musemaj11]

Most women are terrible in bed because most men have low demand in the first place.

[Irishlove]

I like to tickle the mans body with my long hair, I like when he does things that no other guy usually does like lick or kiss behind my knees, bites the back of my neck, I like when he moans when he gives up total control, when I suggest something like ice and he's game to trying it. I like open mindedness. I like to do it every where. Standing in front of the vanity, outside where we might get caught, I just like him to be playful.