Heartfelt Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 (I just posted this as a reply in another thread but figured I should make a seperate thread so the other one doesn't go off topic.) I was feeling so down in the dumps the past 3 weeks until last week. When we stopped seeing each other, she told me on a friday that we should just stop talking on the phone and everything (but she's the one who called me btw, lol), but I hadn't talked to her in about 4 days and was really depressed. I started telling her how down I was and she said she feels that way too and she wants to move beyond it. I must have said something wrong because all of a sudden, she starts saying "I just want you to forget about me and forget any of this happened" then she said she had to go and hung up on me. I was shocked she said that. But suddenly I started to feel angry about it and realized how much I had been hurting over the last few weeks and couldn't believe she would say something so hurtful like that. So I was like, well, guess I need to try and "forget". Easier said than done right? But somehow that started lifting me out of my depression. I went out that night, went out saturday night, met this girl and went on a first date with her on sunday. It was a fun respectable date, neither of us rushing anything. But then I got a call tuesday and miss "forget me" who just wanted to "talk". I was very short with her and had an attitude and told her I just came home to change shirts and was on my way back out. I've never been short with her and was always eager to talk to her. So I could tell she was confused and surprised. She asked "Are you going out by yourself?" and I said "No, I've got a date...bye" and then I hung up. Well, she called the next day crying her eyes out and telling me how much she loves me and asked me if I kissed that girl. I told her yes but it wasn't anything passionate, just a little goodnight kiss. It drove her crazy, and the part of me that had been hurting and pining over her got some satisfaction from it (bad stuff, I know, it's wrong but I couldn't help it). So now all of a sudden she wants to try to work things out again (this would be the 3rd time now). I don't know how much I'm up to it because of all the hurt and pain I suffered. I've never done "on again, off again" before, so I'm inexperienced at it. I told her we could do it but she better never talk to me like she did that friday night and she needs to stop this leaving me, then wants me, then leaves again, then comes back. I told her my heart can't handle it. So right now, I'm just going through the motions. I'm not near as depressed as I was. I'm happy she wanted to try things out again, but my heart isn't getting into this too deeply this time. I can't take much of a risk until I see how serious she is. Any advice from any of you experienced with this 2nd, 3rd chance type of stuff? What should I do? I gave in to her but I'm really worried she will change her mind some point down the road again and I really don't want to be hurting bad again like I was before. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
zephyr Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 Hearfelt, It seems that I was in your girlfriend's place just a few days back, although I didn't do the whole 'calling again and bawling-let's-get-back-together-I-miss-you' thing. I now realize how I must have hurt the person I pushed away. From that perspective, I can assure you that the girl is most likely crazy about you, but you are absolutely right in not letting her torture you again. Play it cool for a while and if she seems to be serious about sticking it out with you, take her back-otherwise, don't set yourself up for heartbreak. I hope this helps. You sound like great guy and I'm sure you have girls lined up around the block for a date. Link to post Share on other sites
Heartfelt Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 Originally posted by zephyr Hearfelt, It seems that I was in your girlfriend's place just a few days back, although I didn't do the whole 'calling again and bawling-let's-get-back-together-I-miss-you' thing. I now realize how I must have hurt the person I pushed away. From that perspective, I can assure you that the girl is most likely crazy about you, but you are absolutely right in not letting her torture you again. Play it cool for a while and if she seems to be serious about sticking it out with you, take her back-otherwise, don't set yourself up for heartbreak. I hope this helps. You sound like great guy and I'm sure you have girls lined up around the block for a date. Thanks for the compliment Well they're not lined up, lol, but I usually don't have problems meeting other women. Something is about to happen that is really gonna test her. In 2 weeks, I'll start a new job bartending at one of the most popular spots where I live. I've never been a bartender but I've got friends who do it and they told me to be prepared to meet a lot of women. I'm single with no kids so I guess that's good, I couldn't imagine doing this if I was a family man. I'm just doing it for some extra $$ till I finish college anyway. I'm sure she's not going to like hearing that once I tell her but she had my heart and had her chance and then stomped on it so I'm not going to let anything she has to say about it influence a decision to not work there. She hasn't called me in 3 days so I'm feeling like I'm wasting time and emotions on her again. I feel like a fool. I took her back and now I think she feels she can just treat me however she wants. I still love her but she's really losing me. Actions speak louder than words and she isn't doing much since I gave in to her again last week. Guess we'll see. Link to post Share on other sites
callie Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 She will break up with you again. I have done this before and with my current relationship. I would break up with the guy because I was confused or not really into him. Then I would call him if I was feeling lonely. None of this was intentional or malisious. At least on my part, I just didn't know how to control my emotions. She will end up dumping you again!!!!! Especially, when she realized you were with another girl that made her crazy. But once things settle down again, she will dump you!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Heartfelt Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 If I don't do it to her before she does it to me again. And I don't mean this like it's some contest between us. I already told her that I've stepped back a lot. Each time she's called things off, I've pulled my heart out some more. She comes back within a week though. So I told her this is the last time I'm dealing with it. I'd like for us to at least stay friends because she tells me how much she needs me in her life and we are great friends. She's under a lot of stress right now and she's said that it scares her how close we are. But I'm thinking of telling her I want to do the no contact thing if this happens again. At least for a month or two. I told her the other day that I'm taking my heart back and she said "no I'm not giving it back". We were laughing about it while saying some other things, but she knows I'm serious. I would just hate to completely cut off all contact because she's going through a lot right now and she says I'm one of the few bright spots in her life. She gets depressed pretty easily. Link to post Share on other sites
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