In Love With Love

[Perhaps]

EDIT: Sorry, the title should say: In love with the IDEA of being in love.

 

Hey LS,

 

Hope you all are doing well!

 

I've been doing some thinking and I think I've figured out where I'm going wrong. I realize that I'm not as comfortable in my own skin as I'd want to be. Instead, I look to external sources of validation and happiness - I'm in love with the idea of being in love so I build up something in my head and it ends up doing more damage when things don't work out because I'd idolized the ex. What ends up hurting more than the rejection is that implosion of my idea of what the relationship would be like if the ex had stayed.

 

I have noticed that I'm the type of person who is happier, more confident, more optimistic and overall more fun-to-be-around when in a relationship. While I understand that one of the many benefits of being in love is that kick in your step, it is no excuse to limit myself now. I want to get comfortable with myself - I don't want to think "I wish x was here to share this beautiful day with me". I truly believe that what I put out into the universe will be reflected back to me. So, I want to be all those things that I am when in a relationship.

 

I want to have a relationship with myself - fully committed, and there for Me 24/7. For all my life, i've associated unrequited love and longing for an ex with true love. But I'm slowly realizing that pain and sacrifice do not necessarily equate to goodness.

 

I feel like I've done quite a lot of reflection but I know there is still a long way to go and I'm excited to see where this journey of personal development will take me. I'd love to hear some advice or some resources that I, and others who feel similarly, can use to get more comfortable being alone. I now understand that being alone and being lonely are two mutually exclusive things.

 

I'm a student so I doubt I can afford a psychologist? Maybe I can use my school's counselling services? But, yeah, any insight is greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks!

[orangelady]

EDIT: Sorry, the title should say: In love with the IDEA of being in love.

 

Hey LS,

 

Hope you all are doing well!

 

I've been doing some thinking and I think I've figured out where I'm going wrong. I realize that I'm not as comfortable in my own skin as I'd want to be. Instead, I look to external sources of validation and happiness - I'm in love with the idea of being in love so I build up something in my head and it ends up doing more damage when things don't work out because I'd idolized the ex. What ends up hurting more than the rejection is that implosion of my idea of what the relationship would be like if the ex had stayed.

 

I have noticed that I'm the type of person who is happier, more confident, more optimistic and overall more fun-to-be-around when in a relationship. While I understand that one of the many benefits of being in love is that kick in your step, it is no excuse to limit myself now. I want to get comfortable with myself - I don't want to think "I wish x was here to share this beautiful day with me". I truly believe that what I put out into the universe will be reflected back to me. So, I want to be all those things that I am when in a relationship.

 

I want to have a relationship with myself - fully committed, and there for Me 24/7. For all my life, i've associated unrequited love and longing for an ex with true love. But I'm slowly realizing that pain and sacrifice do not necessarily equate to goodness.

 

I feel like I've done quite a lot of reflection but I know there is still a long way to go and I'm excited to see where this journey of personal development will take me. I'd love to hear some advice or some resources that I, and others who feel similarly, can use to get more comfortable being alone. I now understand that being alone and being lonely are two mutually exclusive things.

 

I'm a student so I doubt I can afford a psychologist? Maybe I can use my school's counselling services? But, yeah, any insight is greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks!

 

Well I know what you mean but after a while, being with yourself all the time kinda sucks. It really depends on the invidual. Some people have no self esteem issues, they love themselves, but just desire to be with someone. Nothing wrong with that.

 

But I have been told to "Oh love yourself, who needs a partner!" bla bla bla and that is so 70s seriously. I mean I know of a lot of singles who sing that and good for them but no two person are alike.

 

I think though..if you don't love yourself, that's pretty hard, because guess who do you spend the most time with? Yourself.

 

 

I wish you well. Be open to opinions but you don't have to follow every one of them.

[VicJay79]

Hi,

 

I think everyone is in love with the concept of love. Its fun to make someone fit the exact mold of what you want, and its easy to find that extra kick in your step, when you have someone that appreciates all your steps.

 

That being said enjoy being in love with love. Its just a process until you find your real love.

 

 

 

EDIT: Sorry, the title should say: In love with the IDEA of being in love.

 

Hey LS,

 

Hope you all are doing well!

 

I've been doing some thinking and I think I've figured out where I'm going wrong. I realize that I'm not as comfortable in my own skin as I'd want to be. Instead, I look to external sources of validation and happiness - I'm in love with the idea of being in love so I build up something in my head and it ends up doing more damage when things don't work out because I'd idolized the ex. What ends up hurting more than the rejection is that implosion of my idea of what the relationship would be like if the ex had stayed.

 

I have noticed that I'm the type of person who is happier, more confident, more optimistic and overall more fun-to-be-around when in a relationship. While I understand that one of the many benefits of being in love is that kick in your step, it is no excuse to limit myself now. I want to get comfortable with myself - I don't want to think "I wish x was here to share this beautiful day with me". I truly believe that what I put out into the universe will be reflected back to me. So, I want to be all those things that I am when in a relationship.

 

I want to have a relationship with myself - fully committed, and there for Me 24/7. For all my life, i've associated unrequited love and longing for an ex with true love. But I'm slowly realizing that pain and sacrifice do not necessarily equate to goodness.

 

I feel like I've done quite a lot of reflection but I know there is still a long way to go and I'm excited to see where this journey of personal development will take me. I'd love to hear some advice or some resources that I, and others who feel similarly, can use to get more comfortable being alone. I now understand that being alone and being lonely are two mutually exclusive things.

 

I'm a student so I doubt I can afford a psychologist? Maybe I can use my school's counselling services? But, yeah, any insight is greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks!

[nana841121]

We are on the two ends of this spectrum. i am the opposite of you.

My problem is that i enjoy too much being alone with myself.

I'd rather wasting my time by doing some boring and trivial things than being with some tedious people.

everyone has his own problem.

Read some books