PollyIvy Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Was that angry, desperate, panicked, hysterical, heart-broken mess of a woman really me? When my H told me he didn't love me anymore, and that he was done with me, and all sorts of horrible things... I just went to pieces. I had NEVER imagined that our marriage would end - we have kids, we never fight about sex or money.... Well. So he has a new contract and we have to move. I had to confront all my fears - honestly, I have never cried so much in my life, or been SO pathetic (weeping, clinging, "why? why don't you want me?") - it was so painful and went on for two years - and I am finally accepting my reality. I told him the kids and I aren't moving with him. And then I kicked in the 180, and it has been helping me. To hide my broken heart and pain, and show respect to myself. It just feels better. And it's actually starting to change. I feel better. I feel more empowered - I finally said 'no more'. I finally said, 'It's ok if you don't love me - there's nothing either of us can do about that, but I'm not going to stay by your side'. But between the LS community and me - I love that man so much and am so heartbroken. I hate the way he treats me, but he's my man and I don't want to be away from him. (it's almost embarrassing - but we are a family and have been together 15 years). But we will be very far apart. I still hope that this separation will end up being temporary, altho I know the statistics. Maybe he will calm down and stop being so angry (about what?)... Thanks - this community is so helpful and supportive xo Link to post Share on other sites
KineticsEng Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Wow, I dont know what to say..... even if I did Im so messed up with my own issues any advise I could give wouldn't be worth the time it took me to type it. I really wish you the best and sorry I couldn't be of any help. Link to post Share on other sites
Soxfaninfl Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 I heard the same thing too. I don't love you anymore. We've been married for 11 years and together for 13 years. That was 14 months ago when she told me that she didn't love me anymore. It does get easier. Trust me when I say this. There were points in my life after my wife told me that she didn't love me anymore that I wanted to die, but I have to be strong for my 7 year old son. I too have also cried so much in my life that I never thought possible in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PollyIvy Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 Thanks. I actually have good days and bad days - but now more good ones than bad ones. I'm doing the 180 - it helps me sooo much. I've noticed that my H is very very slightly beginning to de-escalate some of his anger. Maybe he'll realize what he's losing - who knows. I am no longer in a panic and starting to look forward to the excitement ahead.... This is all an unbelievable emotional roller coaster... Link to post Share on other sites
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