I view a virgin man the same a man views a virgin woman

[Floridaman]

Of course not. You obviously haven't seen any of my posts.

 

For if you did, you would know that I'm talking about myself.

Respectfully,

Somedude, you need to place some smileys:laugh: at the end of your sentence if you're speaking tongue-in-cheek. Or reference your own experience.

 

I recognize your screen name but am not as active on LS as I used to be. I haven't viewed your past posts.

[somedude81]

Eh, it's not really something to smile about, as I am referencing my own experiences.

 

I know what it's like to be a guy who has a very hard time getting women. The previous post of mine that you quoted, were questions that I wonder about myself, and what I think a women would wonder.

[Floridaman]

Eh, it's not really something to smile about, as I am referencing my own experiences.

 

I know what it's like to be a guy who has a very hard time getting women. The previous post of mine that you quoted, were questions that I wonder about myself, and what I think a women would wonder.

Somedude,

I meant no disrespect for you. I took your posts seriously, as if you were mocking guys or gals who weren't as lucky as others.

 

Self-depreciating humor is usually a good sign.

Look at Rodney Dangerfield or Bob Newhart. Those comics made fun of themselves.

 

Okay, I quickly scanned some of your past threads.

Sorry to hear you're 30 and haven't had a successful relationship. You can't say you haven't dated, judging by your posts, just not been fortuante to have been in a long-term relationship.

 

Hey, I've been in your shoes and definitely know what it's like not being successful landing women.

 

Remember I said I was like a semi-virgin throughout most of my 20s? I had religious reasons during college but a big reason was I couldn't get past the first or second date !!!!

I was more introverted back then. And it killed me that I flopped with women.

 

Sure, I dated, but by my late 20s, I just began to "...have my hopes down" and not get too excited that this new woman I found myself dating would be "the one..."

Been there. Done that. At 26, I got my heart broken by a NEAR-fiance.

 

Remember crying to my mom, "What about me repels women?"

I wasn't unattractive, I'm told. Even in my late 40s, women tell me I look "good" and have "kept my looks from HS." A woman at the HS reunion unsolicidly told me that. Thank God for women like that.

 

Funny. 3 mos. after I turned 30, I met my future wife through a blind date.

**********

At 25, I had just about had enough of the loneliness and not getting into relationships. Wasn't gonna be passive anymore. I was gonna take things into my own hands. No way was I just gonna sit there or wake up one day and hope that "love will find me..."

 

Please chime-in on this thread. It may be of assistance to your situation:

For those who can't get dates in their late 20s, 30s and 40s

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t269779/

 

You may not believe this, Somedude, but in 1-5 years, you could find yourself

-in a serious relationship

-exclusive

-engaged

 

It's not too late to try to change things.

[Floridaman]

Want to add this:

 

Originally Posted by somedude81 An older involuntary virgin is not the norm in this society and a sign that something is off about the person. In almost all cases the involuntary virgin is a man who does very poorly with women. Which begs the question why does he do so poorly with women? What is wrong with him?

Quote:

Originally Posted by somedude81

Not having self-esteem or confidence is something wrong.

 

I'm also really surprised that a guy with low self-esteem and confidence even manged to get a girlfriend at all. How did that even happen?

There's no need to get down on yourself.

You're fine.

You're no less of a person bec. you're not successful at dating nor haven't ever made love to a woman.

 

Wait to lose your virginity with a woman you have feelings for -- one that you love -- vs. just "having sex."

 

Yes, I had sex- but never really ML -- until I met my future wife. See the difference?

Sex is just a physical act.

ML is where you put your heart and your soul into that other person (thanking her for loving you and saving you from the loneliness during the act). Yes, that's how grateful I felt for finding her at 30.

 

What I said about respecting virgins and non-virgins applies to you.

[BeginAgain]

There is nothing special about being the first, only in being the best. The first is just one of many rest stops on the highway. Down those many miles it won't matter toward the end who was first, second, third, and last.

[Floridaman]

There is nothing special about being the first, only in being the best. The first is just one of many rest stops on the highway. Down those many miles it won't matter toward the end who was first, second, third, and last.

Many people think it's special, esp. if they're in love, engaged or married...

 

If you mean, "best in bed," I don't think that's necessarily true.

If you two are in love with each other, your first time together is a wonderful experience, no matter how inexpreienced you are or awkard one or the other may be...

 

You may forget the names of some platonic GFs you dated, but

trust me, you will never forget your first.

Is it true that you never really forget the one you lost V to?

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=364670

There's nothing to erase the incident out of your mind, particularly if it's one years later you're not too proud of ... like in my case.

 

I know you're a virgin, BeginAgain, but please know the diff. between just "having sex" and "making love."

Yes, you deserve to find someone you can ML with... I am sure you will find her...

Edited April 13, 2011 by Floridaman

[Ross MwcFan]

De-virginizing a guy is ****ing awesome.

 

Plus it is wonderful to be special first.

 

Why is it so awsome?

[BeginAgain]

I know you're a virgin, BeginAgain, but please know the diff. between just "having sex" and "making love."

Yes, you deserve to find someone you can ML with... I am sure you will find her...

That's why I'm becoming a trucker. I've heard there are plenty of experienced teen love makers on the road at certain special stops. Wish me luck.

[BeginAgain]

Why is it so awsome?

It is all apart of the psychosis that a person can actually be truly the first. In other words they suffer from a Columbus complex. They completely ignore that their SO's romantic life started long before them.

[Floridaman]

Originally Posted by Floridaman I know you're a virgin, BeginAgain, but please know the diff. between just "having sex" and "making love."

Yes, you deserve to find someone you can ML with... I am sure you will find her...

That's why I'm becoming a trucker. I've heard there are plenty of experienced teen love makers on the road at certain special stops. Wish me luck.

That's not funny. You shouldn't think of sex and romance in that kind of unrealistic way. "Hooking up" with someone like that isn't gonna do you any good or help relieve your desire for a companion.

[BeginAgain]

That's not funny. You shouldn't think of sex and romance in that kind of unrealistic way.

It isn't unrealistic. It is quite practical. You are perturbed by how down to earth it is.

"Hooking up" with someone like that isn't gonna do you any good or help relieve your desire for a companion.

It will do good enough to hold me over until the next one. As shown by this forum one is never the be all and end all or enough.

 

I am too awesome for a woman to rise to my level to be my companion and too old to wait for one who might be born in the future. More and more after being here I understand that my needs are sexual and with a slight interest in an object of desire and affection.

[Floridaman]

I am too awesome for a woman to rise to my level to be my companion and too old to wait for one who might be born in the future. More and more after being here I understand that my needs are sexual and with a slight interest in an object of desire and affection.

BeginAgain,

You're in your 30s, right?

It really isn't too late.

 

I didn't meet my future wife until I turned 30. Married her at 33.

 

You have sexual AND companionship needs.

Getting into a good relationship, that should help solve your physical needs as well.

 

Seeing a whore isn't gonna help you emotionally as casual sex won't be fulfiling. Trust me.

It's more "in and out," you can't say "I love you" bec. you likely won't know the woman's name.

 

It will end before you know it (don't expect to be any good your first time, i.e. a "5 min. man") and you'll wonder why you expected it to be so great when in reality, it was disappointing.

 

All that will accomplish is show that you're not a virgin anymore.

What are you gonna do -- broadcast that fact to everyone you know?

 

Instead, invest all the worry and energy you're throwing away in this pursuit -- and use that passion to try to meet someone and get a relationship going.

Visit the thread I linked to earlier.

Who knows. You may meet a female virgin as well and be her first.

[oldguy]

There are more than just two views on this subject.

 

Oddly enough, according to an excepted study, approximately the same number of people who claim to have had more than twenty, (heterosexual), partners is almost the same percentage as those who claim zero or one. While the vast majority (of Americans, as in U.S.), aren't having sex with nearly as many people as "Hollywood" would have you believe.

 

So we have Virgins / soul mates in one corner & ... the other extreme in the opposite corner. But what about the vast majority? Its sort of difficult to comment in most of these discussions, I would think, because there stuck in the middle of having been in relationships with most of the sexual partners but then there are a few alcohol induced flings they'd rather not talk about. (keep in mind there is a lot of sarcasm thrown in here) :-)

[BeginAgain]

BeginAgain,

You're in your 30s, right?

It really isn't too late.

I am 29. According to the teen and early twenty something girls' profiles it is.

 

You have sexual AND companionship needs.

I've been told or it has been insinuated most of my life I hate people or am anti-social and that's probably true. I prefer being a loner except in sexual satisfaction. I am not sure I buy into the companionship needs.

 

Getting into a good relationship, that should help solve your physical needs as well.

From the many stories on the topic it doesn't for others. It would be ridiculous to believe I could be different.

 

Seeing a whore isn't gonna help you emotionally as casual sex won't be fulfiling. Trust me.

I am not looking for fulfillment or a spiritual experience. I am just looking for a little of the old in and out.

It's more "in and out," you can't say "I love you" bec. you likely won't know the woman's name.

"I luv ya, bitch" Solved that problem.

 

It will end before you know it (don't expect to be any good your first time, i.e. a "5 min. man") and you'll wonder why you expected it to be so great when in reality, it was disappointing.

I'm more likely to have the opposite problem, i.e. marathon man, since reaching climax isn't that quick and easy for me. Besides there is more to being good than duration if one can be good at all when a woman's orgasm is very temperamental. I won't feel disappointed. I'll be simply happy I got some.

 

All that will accomplish is show that you're not a virgin anymore.

What are you gonna do -- broadcast that fact to everyone you know?

I only believe in female virginity and don't have anyone to tell so it doesn't matter. Also I don't like talking about private matters irl too much especially sexual ones.

 

Instead, invest all the worry and energy you're throwing away in this pursuit -- and use that passion to try to meet someone and get a relationship going.

I'm not sure I care anymore about a relationship.

 

Visit the thread I linked to earlier.

Who knows. You may meet a female virgin as well and be her first.

It doesn't matter much if she is a virgin if she isn't gorgeous or at least petite and kind of cute. Legal virgin girls typically aren't the kind any man wants.

[Disillusioned]

Say what you will, but I still maintain that if it wasn't for a smear campaign by a few promiscuous people, virginity wouldn't carry any stigma.

[EyesWideOpen]

Ya know what I just realized? The title of this thread says all that needs to be said.

 

"I veiw a virgin man the same a man views a virgin woman".

Funny...most of the guys I know wouldn't touch a virgin with a ten foot pole. Too much inexperience, timidness, baggage...yada yada yada.

 

 

I guess at the end of the day, people tend to seek their own. And the norm just happens to be somewhere between being a man or woman wh*re, and being that person who is holding out for this mystical magical "the one".

 

 

 

The entire debate is pointless though. Even if you hold out for the right person, there's a very high likelihood that years down the road the relationship will fail.

 

So you marry your first, sink a decade or so into that endeavor before it falls apart. And what then? You've already lost your virginity. "You can't get it back." So does that now make you worthless?

Nope.

Because it just doesn't matter.

[BeginAgain]

I find it hilarious those people who will only have sex while married and get judgmental about another's sex life but then go through a series of marriages fcking all the way.

 

If anyone is really concerned about being a whore freak your one and only SO after you are married and no one else. If it ends in divorce or death touch no one else. Otherwise get over your slut condemnation and obsessive virgin fetish.

[dreamingoftigers]

There is nothing special about being the first, only in being the best. The first is just one of many rest stops on the highway. Down those many miles it won't matter toward the end who was first, second, third, and last.

 

Well, if you view sex and lovemaking the way that you view rest stops then I agree....

[Ross MwcFan]

I find it hilarious those people who will only have sex while married and get judgmental about another's sex life.

 

I find it ****ing annoying. It's like these people speak for us, as though they think what they think is right for them is right for everyone, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong.

[Floridaman]

Where's all this judgement and condemnation coming from?

 

So you don't like married people and get all this attitude.

So what if a marriage doesn't work for two people who are each others' "firsts."

That's no reason to slam the whole system.

 

The OP didn't condemn non-virgins. Just said she views a virgin man the way many men view virgin women --- with respect.

 

Guys who chase every skirt in the wind don't deserve any special respect.

 

Virgin guys who cop negative attitudes and sit back and slam everyone under the sun for their choices -- then say how they'd like to pick-up sluts at truck stops -- reveal their ignorance as well.

Edited April 13, 2011 by Floridaman

[627]

I like equilibrium in things... my philosophy about the whole thing is, you have to be selective yes, even a guy should not sleep with everyone he gets the chance to...(in my opinion, everyone's free to do whatever) it's nice to make it meaningful. however, waiting until marriage is just too much, and I ask again, what if you never get married? and what if you date someone for more than 3 month, or more than 6 month, or even a year, don't you find it a bit weird that you'd still insist on not having sex with them?

[Floridaman]

That ultra-cynical, bitter and irrationally emotionally charged viewpoint I'm reading here from a certain virgin male will spill-out into real life and won't do that guy any favors in attracting members of the opposite sex.

 

But not to worry. He can just pick-up some whore. Won't do much to end the loneliness and desire for companionship, though. The "in and out" will suffice, I guess.

Edited April 13, 2011 by Floridaman

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I think you just need to meet someone who will be willing to look past it, and love you for who you are.

[Floridaman]

Seeing a whore isn't gonna help you emotionally as casual sex won't be fulfiling. Trust me.

I am not looking for fulfillment or a spiritual experience. I am just looking for a little of the old in and out.

It's more "in and out," you can't say "I love you" bec. you likely won't know the woman's name.

"I luv ya, bitch" Solved that problem.

Such a respectful attitude. No wonder you're where you're at now.

 

But you know better.

Don't dare listen to others' advice or try to change things.

 

While you're at it, drown yourself in a bottle and do other destructive things to screw your life up.

 

Your regrets will be your own.

Edited April 13, 2011 by Floridaman

[Floridaman]

I like equilibrium in things... my philosophy about the whole thing is, you have to be selective yes, even a guy should not sleep with everyone he gets the chance to...(in my opinion, everyone's free to do whatever) it's nice to make it meaningful. however, waiting until marriage is just too much, and I ask again, what if you never get married?

That's fine. No problem with your views.

 

I just don't like the bashing of virgins (of both sexes) and the frequent putting them down, like they're some kind of "oddballs" for their choices, which in many cases, are admirable...

 

and what if you date someone for more than 3 month, or more than 6 month, or even a year, don't you find it a bit weird that you'd still insist on not having sex with them?

The other partner always controls the sex. (You will find that to be the case in marriage as well).

 

So it's always up to the other what happens.

 

If you love the other person enough and can wait, better for the both of you.

 

If you're not on their wavelength or on the same page, that tells you something about the relationship.

 

EDITED TO ADD:

I will admit I would have found it hard to "wait" at 30 y.o. when I met my future wife.

If she insisted on waiting (she wasn't a virgin, neither was I but both had ltd. experience), I would have respected her wishes.

But then again, I likely would have pushed the wedding day up sooner...

Edited April 14, 2011 by Floridaman