My Daily "No Contact" Journey Journal

[HeartsBroken]

It is hard when we go thru breakup. It is never easy but it will make me stronger. I am trying to patch things up, if possible and hoping that we can patch up. At the moment reading a book on making up and it really helps. Though we are not that close as before, we at least talk on casual terms. It is really a good start.

 

"http://be746niec5x2ts48khsjnezl78.hop.clickbank.net/"?tid=blogmay22011

 

Broken Heart but getting better...

[MrStinky]

Whoa, I think you missed a page in the NC instruction booklet if you're still hanging out and exchanging dirt with your ex's mom! What good is that going to do you? And your post is a little vague, is her mom lying about still working two days a week, or is your ex lying to her mother that she's still working?

 

Are you doing NC in the hopes that this girl comes back? Sounds like it.

 

Her mom asked me to get together.

 

I see no problem going to Starbucks with her mom to chat.

 

I did more listening than talking and simply pointed out what she was telling her mother was untrue when it came up.

 

She still works for my mom. Am I supposed to stop talking to my mom as well?

 

The ex is lying about the 2 days of work to her mother.

 

Am I going NC to get her back? To a certain degree but there are many, many things that would cause me to never take her back.

 

I am a devout Christian and forgiveness of people for anything they have done is a necessity to me so I am conflicted

[MrStinky]

Yes, he is. Definitely. It's pretty obvious.

 

Glad to see we have a fortune teller here on LS!

[Sassygirl2]

Mr. Stinky,

 

I don't think that you are only doing NC just to get her back. I think that you've made a lot of progress working on yourself physically and emotionally. I think you KNOW that it is very possible she will not come back and that you are NOW feeling SO good about yourself that it doesn't matter. Of course you still miss her.

 

I did good today as well, although I had the thought that I might go over to my exbf's house and try to talk to him. That would have been a really BAD idea. I have to stay cool and let him know that I'm OK without him. I keep thinking he's out with friends living it up when he is probably home sleeping on the couch.

 

I ordered the books you recommended and am really excited to get them. Thank you for the suggestion.

[PinkChic]

I must chime in here...

 

I COMPLETELY DISAGREE with people on here saying that you went NC to get her back...

 

I have been following you for inspiration and I actually think the complete opposite. I think you went NC and have made great strides in focusing ON YOURSELF...

 

I think we would all be lieing to ourselves if we went NC and didn't have a teeny weeny little bit of hope that they would miss us and come back...

 

Just thought I'd throw my two cents in

 

Keep up the great work!

[MrStinky]

Mr. Stinky,

 

I don't think that you are only doing NC just to get her back. I think that you've made a lot of progress working on yourself physically and emotionally. I think you KNOW that it is very possible she will not come back and that you are NOW feeling SO good about yourself that it doesn't matter. Of course you still miss her.

 

I did good today as well, although I had the thought that I might go over to my exbf's house and try to talk to him. That would have been a really BAD idea. I have to stay cool and let him know that I'm OK without him. I keep thinking he's out with friends living it up when he is probably home sleeping on the couch.

 

I ordered the books you recommended and am really excited to get them. Thank you for the suggestion.

 

Thank You!

 

You are spot on when you say "I think you KNOW that it is very possible she will not come back and that you are NOW feeling SO good about yourself that it doesn't matter. Of course you still miss her."

 

It's good that you didn't go over.

 

He will begin to see that you don't need him and in the process you will heal and become a stronger person!

 

When you say "he's out with friends living it up when he is probably home sleeping on the couch" it's very true. Read my other post about The Blair Witch Syndrome

 

No problem about the books. I have a number of other books that have helped me so once your done, just come here and ask and I will recommend some more

[MrStinky]

I must chime in here...

 

I COMPLETELY DISAGREE with people on here saying that you went NC to get her back...

 

I have been following you for inspiration and I actually think the complete opposite. I think you went NC and have made great strides in focusing ON YOURSELF...

 

I think we would all be lieing to ourselves if we went NC and didn't have a teeny weeny little bit of hope that they would miss us and come back...

 

Just thought I'd throw my two cents in

 

Keep up the great work!

 

Again, thank you! At least some people can see the true meaning of this journal!

 

I agree. I am trying to work on myself and whoever that attracts into my life (potentially my "ex") then so be it.

 

That does not in any way mean I will take her back.

 

I assure you all, my pictures of her changed drastically after she broke up with me. It's like she was a completely different person and I truly do not trust her at all.

 

And trust is foundational to me in a relationship

 

"I think we would all be lieing to ourselves if we went NC and didn't have a teeny weeny little bit of hope that they would miss us and come back."

 

I agree!

 

And thanks for the well wishes

[MrStinky]

Day Twenty

 

Woke up early.

 

Work till 3pm.

 

After work I went and got a really nice pair of shoes and they were on sale for $22.50!

 

I also picked up some alot of chewing gum so my breath will always be minty fresh!

 

Then I went to the gym.

 

Did an awesome upper body workout.

 

Came home to eat some diner.

 

A friend of my dad's (my dad passed away when I was 20) stopped by the house and my brother, him and I chatted for an hour or so.

 

After that I went on my bike ride, came home to have a bath and got my stuff ready for work.

 

I hoped into bed and fell asleep pretty quickly.

 

Sorry for the short entry, but I have to get to work now.

 

But at the end of the day, today was...

 

...a success!

[orangelady]

That does not in any way mean I will take her back.

 

 

Uh-huh............

[Sassygirl2]

I read the Blair Witch Project thread and I can see it going both ways. It's true we build up these ideas in our head of what our ex is doing and sometimes it's stuff we just can't fathom or handle. On the other hand, if we associate thinking about our ex with a negative thought like a big red STOP sign, then it could help us stop thinking about them a little more too. Everyone is different and what works for one person may not work for another.

 

I was thinking of contacting my ex's mom and taking her something small for Mother's Day later this week. She works close by and she and I have always had a great relationship. I am a little afraid to see her because I don't want her or my ex to think it's because of him. I don't think that she would feel that way because she is also a devout Christian and one of the greatest people I've met. She and I got along better than her son and I at times! It's hard to just cut off all contact with the family when they've included me and my kids in everything for the past year and a half. She had my kids calling her "Grammy". What do you think?

 

Hope you had a great day Mr. Stinky!

[Sassygirl2]

OK, forget that idea about taking my ex's mother something for Mother's Day. My sister set me straight today and said, "Don't!" She said to send her a card instead. She wants me to stay away so that I can heal. Thank God for sisters. Too bad she lives so far away. Today was another rough day for me. I thought it was suppossed to get easier? I think I've burnt out all my friends talking about it. I know we need to talk about it but we have to talk about other things too! Like work, school, kids, etc... I keep telling myself that I don't want to be with someone who can just walk away from the relationship with no warning. I don't want to be with someone who I repeatedly felt ignored me. I think right now I just miss the companionship. I get together with friends when my kids are with their Dad but it doesn't really help. I just wish I was with him all the time. That's not good.

 

How was your day?

[MrStinky]

I read the Blair Witch Project thread and I can see it going both ways. It's true we build up these ideas in our head of what our ex is doing and sometimes it's stuff we just can't fathom or handle. On the other hand, if we associate thinking about our ex with a negative thought like a big red STOP sign, then it could help us stop thinking about them a little more too. Everyone is different and what works for one person may not work for another.

 

I was thinking of contacting my ex's mom and taking her something small for Mother's Day later this week. She works close by and she and I have always had a great relationship. I am a little afraid to see her because I don't want her or my ex to think it's because of him. I don't think that she would feel that way because she is also a devout Christian and one of the greatest people I've met. She and I got along better than her son and I at times! It's hard to just cut off all contact with the family when they've included me and my kids in everything for the past year and a half. She had my kids calling her "Grammy". What do you think?

 

Hope you had a great day Mr. Stinky!

 

Just as I would not end a friendship because I met that person through the "ex," I would not do the same for a family member.

 

I don't know about your situation but the "ex's" mother contacted me and wanted to get together.

 

There was no reason for me to say no.

 

Plus, she does not tell her daughter anything more than "we ran into each other and decided to have some coffee."

 

Also, some people on here seem to think that there is some "NC Rulebook" that has infallible guidelines that you MUST follow.

 

NC is based on:

 

• whatever works for you
  
• your best judgment
  
• common sense
  

Hope that helps make your mind up

[MrStinky]

OK, forget that idea about taking my ex's mother something for Mother's Day. My sister set me straight today and said, "Don't!" She said to send her a card instead. She wants me to stay away so that I can heal. Thank God for sisters. Too bad she lives so far away. Today was another rough day for me. I thought it was suppossed to get easier? I think I've burnt out all my friends talking about it. I know we need to talk about it but we have to talk about other things too! Like work, school, kids, etc... I keep telling myself that I don't want to be with someone who can just walk away from the relationship with no warning. I don't want to be with someone who I repeatedly felt ignored me. I think right now I just miss the companionship. I get together with friends when my kids are with their Dad but it doesn't really help. I just wish I was with him all the time. That's not good.

 

How was your day?

 

It will get easier but you need to find things to keep you both distracted and occupied.

 

When I did nothing - it was all I thought about!

 

The card is a good idea.

 

Keep posting on here to me ANYTIME! Keep venting on her to me ANYTIME!

 

I will try my best to write back ASAP

 

And it will help to get it off your chest

[orangelady]

It will get easier but you need to find things to keep you both distracted and occupied.

 

When I did nothing - it was all I thought about!

 

The card is a good idea.

 

Keep posting on here to me ANYTIME! Keep venting on her to me ANYTIME!

 

I will try my best to write back ASAP

 

And it will help to get it off your chest

 

Mr Stinky is very nice. He deserves a nice Mrs Stinky.

[MrStinky]

Day Twenty One

 

Today was a good day.

 

The weather stunk, but I made it through.

 

I woke up, worked and then after work went to my cousins restaurant.

 

After that I went to the gym for a grueling (but worth it) leg workout.

 

I went home, watched some TV and I assure you - I didn't want to go for my bike ride last nihgt.

 

I was tired and the couch was so comfortable.

 

But if I am to get better and work on myself I actually have to work on myself.

 

So I got up, did my bike ride and felt sooooooooo much better after it was done.

 

It felt like I accomplished something!

 

Had my bath and hoped into bed to get some sleep.

 

I found myself thinking about how far I have come and how if she was still with me, I would most likely be the same weight and have not changed anything about me.

 

Sometimes I think that if it were not for the heartbreak I endured, I would have still been stuck in something I knew (at times) wasn't good for me.

 

Only time will tell.

 

Today was...

 

...a success!

[Sassygirl2]

You have been exercising like crazy! I wish I had your motivation. Today was a good day for me too until I got off of work. I usually spend Wed. night with the ex-bf and it's hard to go home and be alone. I have lots of things to do and a gf invited me over for dinner but I didn't want to go. I am so tired because I haven't been sleeping well. I saw my ex-bf today at the stop light near our kids' school. He was dropping off his son and I was dropping off my daughter. I waved at him but not excitedly. He nodded his head at me but he was definitely starring at me even turning his head around as I drove by. Of course I'm reading into it I'm sure. I also got an email from him in the middle of last night (1:15am). He sent me pics of one of my daughter's events from last month that I had asked for last week. He said, "hope everyone is doing well" and then signed his initials. I don't know what the heck he's doing up at 1am (because he always sleeps thru the night). Anyway, do you think I'm reading into it? I'm trying really hard not to contact him and to tell myself that I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who didn't give me the love and attention I needed. Yes, I was a bit demanding which I realize now but he could have told me this and talked to me about it. Instead he just threw in the towel after we had two big fights and then said "it's over."

 

The crazy thing is that if he wants to come back I would probably say yes (well at least right now). I'm hoping that each day I will get stronger and realize that we are not good for each other.

[MrStinky]

You have been exercising like crazy! I wish I had your motivation. Today was a good day for me too until I got off of work. I usually spend Wed. night with the ex-bf and it's hard to go home and be alone. I have lots of things to do and a gf invited me over for dinner but I didn't want to go. I am so tired because I haven't been sleeping well. I saw my ex-bf today at the stop light near our kids' school. He was dropping off his son and I was dropping off my daughter. I waved at him but not excitedly. He nodded his head at me but he was definitely starring at me even turning his head around as I drove by. Of course I'm reading into it I'm sure. I also got an email from him in the middle of last night (1:15am). He sent me pics of one of my daughter's events from last month that I had asked for last week. He said, "hope everyone is doing well" and then signed his initials. I don't know what the heck he's doing up at 1am (because he always sleeps thru the night). Anyway, do you think I'm reading into it? I'm trying really hard not to contact him and to tell myself that I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who didn't give me the love and attention I needed. Yes, I was a bit demanding which I realize now but he could have told me this and talked to me about it. Instead he just threw in the towel after we had two big fights and then said "it's over."

 

The crazy thing is that if he wants to come back I would probably say yes (well at least right now). I'm hoping that each day I will get stronger and realize that we are not good for each other.

 

I know. Exercise is one of the best stress reliefs and it gets my mind on positive things. A guy who lives in the building I work at asked me to send him my before photos the other day. When I saw him the next day he had a giant grin on his face and gave me a huge high five and said to me "All I can say is WOW!"

 

It felt good.

 

I was getting 2 - 4 hours sleep when she broke up with me. It stunk but I made sure I went out with friends.

 

You have to go out with friends! They will get your mind off everything, listen if need be (if they don't, they aren't good friends) and help you heal quicker.

 

I think he was probably missing you when he sent that email. I honestly don't think you're reading into it.

 

To be up at that time and send an email (HE is the one who is still trying to contact you) seems like you still care. Or he may have trouble sleeping (like you do) because of everything.

 

Initially, I would have said yes in a heartbeat (to taking her back) but you realize you CAN live without them and life DOES go on and things DO get easier.

 

Your life did not -and- should not revolve around him.

 

You will make it through all this!

[MrStinky]

Day Twenty Two

 

Today was nice.

 

I woke up, worked till 3 and then got....

 

...some RETAIL THERAPY!

 

I went and got a bunch of new t-shirts, 5 pairs of jeans, sunglasses, bracelet, shoes, henleys, tank top, etc!

 

It was great.

 

My bank account is dwindling but it's ok!

 

Then I headed right for the gym.

 

Did an upper body workout and it was awesome!

 

Came home and watched some American Idol with the mother.

 

I also ate some delicious food!

 

Again, didn't want to go for the bike ride. I was so comfy but I got up and did it and it was totally worth it.

 

Came home, had a bath and got my stuff ready for work the next day.

 

Didn't think much about her and had no urge whatsoever to contact her.

 

Today was...

 

...a success!

[Sassygirl2]

It must feel great having someone ask for your 'before' pictures! Awesome. I think it's really wonderful, Mr. Stinky. Can I ask if you struggled with weight for very long? I know you are fairly young so that's why I ask. Do you think your weight was an issue in your relationship at all? I have struggled with weight for many years and am now starting to do something about it. I guess it's better late than never. My exbf and exhusband both have some extra lbs to lose but weight never was a factor in our relationships for them anyway. It always has been an issue with me. In that I just never felt very good about myself and that isn't good when you are trying to love someone else. I see other women my age (45) looking really good in their jeans and tank tops and I feel envy. I am by no means obese or anything and am attractive otherwise but I could stand to lose 50 lbs. Friends have told me that I hide it well in my body frame. (I'm like, how the hell do you hide 50 extra pounds?) I used to be thin and I remember how I felt and how much more energy I had. Well, I am doing good on my eating and will get there soon. I just know it now. I'm not getting any younger and may need to be looking my best when Mr. Right comes along.

 

 

Hope you are having another great day my friend!

[MrStinky]

It must feel great having someone ask for your 'before' pictures! Awesome. I think it's really wonderful, Mr. Stinky. Can I ask if you struggled with weight for very long? I know you are fairly young so that's why I ask. Do you think your weight was an issue in your relationship at all? I have struggled with weight for many years and am now starting to do something about it. I guess it's better late than never. My exbf and exhusband both have some extra lbs to lose but weight never was a factor in our relationships for them anyway. It always has been an issue with me. In that I just never felt very good about myself and that isn't good when you are trying to love someone else. I see other women my age (45) looking really good in their jeans and tank tops and I feel envy. I am by no means obese or anything and am attractive otherwise but I could stand to lose 50 lbs. Friends have told me that I hide it well in my body frame. (I'm like, how the hell do you hide 50 extra pounds?) I used to be thin and I remember how I felt and how much more energy I had. Well, I am doing good on my eating and will get there soon. I just know it now. I'm not getting any younger and may need to be looking my best when Mr. Right comes along.

 

 

Hope you are having another great day my friend!

 

I have been over weight since 1997.

 

I only actually lost weight once in 2002 and then gained it all back + interest!

 

Do I think it was an issue? I think it played a role because the attraction most likely wasn't there.

 

And from the start to the end of the relationship I probably put on 40 - 50 pounds.

 

But the "ex" also put alot of weight on during the relationship

 

It's good to hear you have a plan and you're sticking to it!

 

Good luck!

[MrStinky]

Day Twenty Three

 

Today, I was tired.

 

Yesterday I went to bed at 10:30pm, got woken up by mom my on the phone at midnight, got woken up again at 2am to the tv she fell asleep in front of, got woken up again at 3:30 am to a dog crying outside her door and once again to another dog crying at 4:00am.

 

Then I had to get up for work at 5:30

 

Anyways, worked until 3pm, went to the drugstore to buy some magazines and skin products.

 

After that I waled to the gym, got a leg workout in and went home.

 

When I got there I noticed my right knee was slightly sore and I was exhausted.

 

I decided to rest up (instead of making my knee worse) and skip the bike ride and go to be considering I was going on about 3.5 hours sleep.

 

Also, on Sunday I will do 2 instead of my regular 1 HIIT bike rides to make up for today's missed bike ride.

 

I just didn't want to overtrain and make my knee worse considering I have another leg workout on Saturday.

 

I want to give it all the rest it needs and this morning when I woke up I found it was already feeling 100% better!

 

Today was...

 

...a success!

[Sassygirl2]

I have been overweight since having my first daugher in 1999 when I put on the pregnancy weight. Yikes! It's a long time.

 

My mom had a biopsy of a tumor in her lung yesterday which is cancer but they don't know what type. (She had throat cancer last year.) She sent me an email last night explaining the procedures she needs to do, etc... I forwarded the email to my ex because he had asked me about her last Sunday. I didn't write anything to him. He wrote me back this am saying that he was so sorry to hear about that. He also wished me a "Happy early Mother's Day". I thought that was nice. It only made me want to call him though. I didn't call but I did send a text that said, "How are you doing? When do you want to take the dog again?" He hasn't answered and that was before lunch today. He may not have gotten it - I don't know. He usually answers me right away but maybe not any more. I will leave it alone for now but it's really hard. I am sad and want to run into his arms. How pathetic is that? How do people live their lives single for years and years without human touch? I couldn't do it.

 

How's your knee today?

[MrStinky]

I have been overweight since having my first daugher in 1999 when I put on the pregnancy weight. Yikes! It's a long time.

 

My mom had a biopsy of a tumor in her lung yesterday which is cancer but they don't know what type. (She had throat cancer last year.) She sent me an email last night explaining the procedures she needs to do, etc... I forwarded the email to my ex because he had asked me about her last Sunday. I didn't write anything to him. He wrote me back this am saying that he was so sorry to hear about that. He also wished me a "Happy early Mother's Day". I thought that was nice. It only made me want to call him though. I didn't call but I did send a text that said, "How are you doing? When do you want to take the dog again?" He hasn't answered and that was before lunch today. He may not have gotten it - I don't know. He usually answers me right away but maybe not any more. I will leave it alone for now but it's really hard. I am sad and want to run into his arms. How pathetic is that? How do people live their lives single for years and years without human touch? I couldn't do it.

 

How's your knee today?

 

It will get easier. Your desire to contact him will dwindle with every passing week.

 

It did for me and it will for you.

 

You can make it through this!

 

My knee is doing well today. Thanks for asking!

[MrStinky]

Day Twenty Four

 

Today was a good day.

 

First off it was Friday!

 

Secondly, worked seemed to zip by. I enjoyed that.

 

I got off work, went and bought 2 pairs of snazzy shoes and a bracelet that makes me look so hip

 

After that, I went to the gym and did an upper body workout that was so satisfying.

 

I am now down 75 pounds (265 to 190) and it is really starting to show!

 

After that I walked to my friends house where we just talked and surfed the internet.

 

I was hungry so I headed home (he had pizza... not too low carb )

 

I watched some TV and then went for my bike ride.

 

It was grueling and I wanted to quit so many times but I didn't. I completed all of my 15 up-hill laps.

 

I cam home, bathed and was exhausted so within the hour I was in bed.

 

I got a great sleep (almost 10 hours) and am off to the gym again now for my 6th weight room workout of the week.

 

My legs will beg for mercy but they will receive none!

 

Today was...

 

...a success!

[Art_Critic]

Hey MS.. you are quickly turning this NC journal into a how to move on, be happy with yourself and lose a ton of weight in the process Journal..

 

Good on you.. and congrats on the weight loss success....