kthnunez Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 ok me and my ex gf dated as high school sweet hearts. we are both 21 now and in college and had plans to marry. it was a little bumpy but we still made it.. went to different colleges but then i transfrered to be with her. after dating 4 years things got rocky. she broke up with me 4 months ago. i have not talked to, kissed or had sex with another woman. but i know she has kissed and slept with people during this break up, and she talks to numerous men. she doesnt reply to any of my texts or call, and i am deeply in love with her and want to be with her and work things out. she only contacts me when she needs something knowing id be there. when i end up confronting her about sleeping around and going on dates she lies about it even though i know she has been.she claims to never want to be with me again, but if that is so why does she lie about sleeping around and these men? she has nothing to lose by being honest and telling me but still keeps lying.why is she doing this? is it because deep down she knows ill always be here and will eventually want to be with me once i mature more, but fears that admitting to these hurtful things will not allow that to happen and i will shut her out of my life? i dont get it ppl lie to hide or protect something but if we are not together and will never be (in her eyes) whats there to hide or protect...please help Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 but i know she has kissed and slept with people during this break up, and she talks to numerous men. Good enough reason for me to say BYE BYE and MOVE ON. =========================================================== she only contacts me when she needs something knowing id be there. when i end up confronting her about sleeping around and going on dates she lies about it even though i know she has been.she claims to never want to be with me again, The bold words, I've nothing to say. I only can ask you, is this what you want from a woman you want to spend with you the rest of the life? ========================================================= It doesn't matter why she lie, no matter what SHE'S A LIAR. Do you want to be with a woman who lies to you all the time? Please move on from her and start NC. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 She still lies to you because you still listen to her. No listening, no lies. Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 She's sleeping with other guys, says she never wants to be with you again, lies to you....why are you still hanging around? She's using you as a safety net in case she gets bored. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kthnunez Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 i totally understand what you guys are saying, but the thing is i have done this to her once before i walked out and didnt return for 3 months because i was tired of how she treated me.i didnt sleep with anyone but still left and talked to other women... thats y i still hold on...i have never given her NC because i am afraid id be forgotten and she wont come back which is all i want her to do....what shld i do? Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 What do you want to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 She is She. You are You. She chose to do this to you, you don't have to do this to yourself. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Gabari0219 Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 You need to stop being there for her. If you continue she will never respect you. And only see you as her safety net! She needs to hit rock bottom and realize, this is what she wanted when she left you. Unless she want to fix thing with you or be honesty. Than you can be there for her. Until than...you need to walk away and not look back. I kno it hard because you love her so much. But because you love her you need to do this! Link to post Share on other sites
Author kthnunez Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 What do you want to do? ultimately i want her to love me and be together Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 2 words: Dream. On. It's - not - going - to - happen. If it hasn't clicked by now - it really - never will. She has no respect for you, she's a liar, a user and a cheat. You aren't even off the bottom rung, she treats you so low..... Link to post Share on other sites
todd Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Technically she doesn't owe you anything. You guys aren't together anymore, she broke up with you, and she can do and say whatever she wants to you. If you guys were in a relationship it would be a different matter but you are currently letting yourself be lied to. She is probably lying to you about her personal life because she can tell how much you long to be with her still and doesn't want to deal with seeing you hurt more. Stop dealing with her if you do not like the lies, let her do her own thing while you move on and do your own thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kthnunez Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 Technically she doesn't owe you anything. You guys aren't together anymore, she broke up with you, and she can do and say whatever she wants to you. If you guys were in a relationship it would be a different matter but you are currently letting yourself be lied to. She is probably lying to you about her personal life because she can tell how much you long to be with her still and doesn't want to deal with seeing you hurt more. Stop dealing with her if you do not like the lies, let her do her own thing while you move on and do your own thing. well i do agree she doesnt owe me anything and is doing her, and ur right techinically its no ones business, but do you think she keeps lying to me even though she knows i know the truth because shes scared that if she gives in and tell the truth shell never be able to come back to me when i get my feet on the ground and mature?how do u think deep down she feels? Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 ultimately i want her to love me and be together Why not love yourself first. We will not know how she thinks deep down, maybe she herself also don't know what she thinks about herself. So why bother? Think for yourself now, focus on yourself now. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 ultimately i want her to love me and be together Then the way to achieve that in a long-lasting, meaningful and enjoyable way is to properly separate, go through a period of no contact. In that period you do not give or receive information about each other, and you heal your own wounds, take on the challenge of creating your own happiness, find out who you are, let go of past feelings and become a happier, better person. If you do all that, then you will be in a position to have a loving relationship with her or indeed someone else. Until then, you are not ready. Link to post Share on other sites
todd Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 You really need to just stop thinking of what she is thinking about or what she is doing. Focus on yourself. You can not heal if you are constantly thinking about how she is ruining a relationship with you that very well could never happen again. You need to move on and completely get her out of your head and any relationship she is currently in. The only time any of these questions you ask even matter the littleless bit is if she ever comes back to you asking for another chance, but you can not lean on this hope or be waiting for it. Move on, focus on yourself, meet new people, and get her out of your head completely. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 She is She. You are You. She chose to do this to you, you don't have to do this to yourself. Move on. WOW! I LIKE THIS STATEMENT!!!!! I might have to steal that one if you don't mind! @ kthnunez, Hell, I don't know why girls lie like that. My High School sweetheart cheated on me and she claims she didn't but I know better. Hell, if I contacted her today, she would probably still claim to be innocent!! Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Feel free to take, we are all here for one another Link to post Share on other sites
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