need to accept this was just an exit affair, not soulmates

[autumnbethesda]

Here's my new struggle-suggestions?

My "guy" is very frustrating as (due to a myriad of work-travel issues which are true) he is unable to have actions match words. I understand being busy, and being male and not necessarily needing the constant dialogue. But, I've come to decide that I need that. If he's not giving that to me, regardless of why, then he's not right for me. The problem is that I've got this obscene case of hope-there's still the connection, chemistry, feeling of destiny. There's still a sense of this being poor timing. I'm trying to convince myself that this was just an Exit A. That he's served his purpose and I need to let go. However, still stuck. As annoyed as I am at certain behavoir, I still feel how I feel down in my core---suggestions on how to let go/give up on Fate and just say goodbye emotionally?

[BB07]

How can it be an exit affair if he isn't leaving?:confused:

[autumnbethesda]

No, but I did. Ie, my exit affair and therefore something where I have legitimate feelings down in the depths of my soul for this person.

[skywriter]

Hi Autumn,

 

You sound as if you have a very clear understanding of your situation and your needs.

 

To me, this covers alot of the battle in moving forward.

 

If it were myself I'd have to try to stay busy and have alot of support around me to stay focused. Girlfriends, confidants, positive minded people that keep me positive, until time to bathe and go to bed! LOL!

 

This way I'm more likely to succeed.

 

Autumn, do as much as you can to keep yourself on track to get past how you are feeling right now. Just keep telling yourself logical things. You sound like a very wise girl and so you know what is best here.

[26pointblue]

I hear you to be saying that you left your relationship because you weren't fulfilled & you found a deep fulfilling love with MM. But for him it is more of something on the side, & isn't enough compared to what you really want. If this is what you're saying then I say good for you! You deserve a full-time fulfilling relationship, & if you don't have it with MM, you can find it with someone else. I am saying this to you & to myself!! Ha ha I hope that's okay. Good luck.

[autumnbethesda]

Thanks all....I just can't implement-i find myself talking myself out of my needs in the delusion that this is true love and no one is perfect. I realize I spend more time thinking abt him, and waiting for contact, than I do thinking about me. He let me down Monday and I'm waiting to hear from him, when I will tell him that I'm opting out of this and going NC. The problem I've been having - and where I need help- is that even w my common sense, I feel love. I want him. I want a relationship in real life w him and I feel STUCK. How do I. Listen to my logic and start beleieving it instead of living in this obvious false reality???

 

Thoughts?

[OpenBook]

If you keep going back & forth between your logic and your heart, you will drive yourself straight to the loony bin.

 

So flip the script, and start listening to your gut instead... that small, still voice emanating from slightly underneath your solar plexus. It's self-preservation time.

 

I have been where you are. It makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE. Any of it. So don't even try to analyze it. Just keep moving. You don't have to figure out everything. Plenty of time for that later. Just keep moving.

 

Good luck! I am cheering you on.

[Kismetly]

If you keep going back & forth between your logic and your heart, you will drive yourself straight to the loony bin.

 

So flip the script, and start listening to your gut instead... that small, still voice emanating from slightly underneath your solar plexus. It's self-preservation time.

 

Great advice. K