is my husband cheating

[aussielover]

well, there is a lot of stuff i could get into, I'l just stick to the basics, my husband and i haven't been married but for two months, we haven't established boundaries, etc. anyway, we got in a fight a few weeks ago because this girl that i really think is just a piece of ****, slept in his hotel room on a trip for school, there were other people in the room, but it's still inappropriate, anyway, we fought a lot about it, and he ended up talking to her about all of my insecurities and our problems with her on the way back, well, he lied to me about it though, i asked him if he had spoken to her about it, and he said no, it wasn't until a week later that i found her phone number in his wallet and confronted him, he said that he had spoken with her and that she'd given him her phone number "just in case he needed anything", dirty bitch, sorry, very bitter, so that threw us into a huge fight and he left for that weekend, when we made up and he came home i asked him if he had called her, he told me no, but i heard about her saying things about me, like that i accused her of sleeping with him, so anyway, i went to ask my husband for her phone number and he got really defensive and was bitching at me, he'd obviously done something wrong, I went to go drop a friend off and he took that oppportunity to go and call the girl and tell her not to tell me that they had spoken over the weekend, i don't know what else he told her not to tell me, anyway, the girl won't call me back, i made a list of things for him to say to her and he called and i was on the other line listening, she just apologized for stepping on my toes and obviously overstepping her boundaries, which woiuld have put my heart at ease, but he made it clear by his tone that he didn't want to say those things and made it pretty obvious that i was in the room listening.

[miz_barby]

Wow...well it does seem kind of strange that she slept in his hotel room but since there were other people in the room it doesn't seem they had much privacy however I agree 100% it is TOTALLY inappropriate! You could take all that has happened in a couple different ways.....it sounds to me like he has a female friend that may be more interested in him than he is in her...she probably pulled the "sweet innocent friend" thing lending an "ear" for him to talk about his problems

and obviously if he was feeling stressed about the relationship and having to defend himself to you (for obvious reasons on your part) he took her up and her offer to talk. She could have been waiting for an opportunity to "pounce" when he was feeling insecure and upset from an arguement with you...if he got defensive it could have been because he was hurt that you don't trust him...and if he had you talk to her then it doesn't sound like he was messing with her but only the 2 of them will know for sure..........OR it could be that he did have an affair with her and had others "cover" for him by claiming they were in the room with them and maybe he warned her ahead of time about you trying to get ahold of her and asked her to keep it on the down low. He could have been defensive because he did cheat....It sucks that the only way you can know for sure is if someone confesses however if he didn't cheat then there is nothing really to confess to. BTW where did he spend that weekend and can you confirm he really was where he said he was? Basically I feel that since there isn't enough "evidence" in this case you don't have enough to "convict" him but I would be more aware of his activities (but without letting him know you are keeping an eye on him) let him believe that you are trusting him more (that way if he didn't do anything wrong he won't feel so pressured by this) and then you'll be able to see how things go......this is all just an idea...anyway Good Luck in the future and I hope it works out for you!

[Fedup&givingup]

Here's what I think....

 

I think you asking whether or not your husband is cheating is not the issue, it's more about what you should do about it. Regardless of the fact that did he put his penis in this other woman is also irrelevant, because he's carrying on with another woman behind your back, period.

 

I have discovered that people who cheat often times do it when they know they've "got" you. You've just been married for two months, and I would be seriously considering if it is worth it or not.

 

My overall opinion-your husband is not committed to you. I'm also not amongst the masses that will tell you to go rushing out to a therapist, because what's the use. If a spouse seeks out someone else on the side of the marriage, what is there to salvage.

[Pookette]

Either stick with him knowing that he has and perhaps will have other inappropriate contact with "friends" or cut your losses and run. I would just leave him. If you have to bully him into doing the right thing then it just isn't worth the hassle.