devil moth Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I don't think I'm a really beautiful person. Honestly, I think I look like complete ****. I'll only ever post a picture online when I barely even recognize myself in the picture. (No matter how many pictures you see of me, you'll know how truly ugly I am when you see me on webcam or irl) The thing is... thinking so harshly of myself, no matter how many times people call me beautiful or how many times my boyfriend compliments me, I can't see myself in a positive way unless I have duct tape over my mouth and I look like a slut and am taking pictures for my boyfriend. I know I can't look like that all the time, so I'm stuck thinking I'm the ugliest girl in the world... I want to have more confidence in myself.. but I don't know how to look at myself in a positive way. I don't know how to make myself believe the things that people say about, even if I know they are lying to me. What do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Body dysmorphic disorder Link to post Share on other sites
silvermane187 Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Go to the gym. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I suggest that you consider that nobody is looking at you like you are looking at yourself and everyone is very much like you in worrying about how they are perceived by others. If you go out and look around at real people in real life, only a very small percentage of people will stand out to you as particularly beautiful. I don't know if you watch much TV or look at magazines but they falsely make it seem like everyone is gorgeous and ugliness is the exception. That's not true--it's the opposite. Advertising has a terribly big foot print on what people think and how they feel and some of that big foot print is very dysfunctional and hurtful. I don't know if this applies to you but in general I say come out to reality and see real people as they are. You will find out from real interplay how to do positive things to give you little advantages and maybe cease living inside your private hell of self-imposed contempt. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 You look pretty in your avatar. Link to post Share on other sites
EyesWideOpen Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 First of all...from your picture, I'm not sure why you would perceive yourself this way. And while I'm sure you're probably thinking "I said I only post good pictures in which I'm unrecognizable", I seriously doubt that you are nearly as horrible as you are perceiving yourself to be. Also, beauty isn't just about appearance...it incorporates everything about you: personality, confidence, mannerisms, etc. So while you may not be the physical "ideal", there are certainly some beautiful aspects of you that you're not accepting. I think you should consider seeking legitimate counseling on this. I'm not saying this to be mean at all. I grew up with a couple relatives who had self-perception problems. The mother was obsessed with how "fat" she was. The woman wasn't fat at all - she just believed herself to be. Her daugher grew up with the same complex - even though she was dangerously skinny, she perceived herself as "fat". It took years of counseling for her to fully come to terms with the fact that it truly was in her head. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I want to have more confidence in myself.. but I don't know how to look at myself in a positive way. I don't know how to make myself believe the things that people say about, even if I know they are lying to me. What do I do? Do counselling. Learn to love yourself.. You are adorable, though I doubt you'll believe me when I say that. Google cognitive behaviour therapy, it'll help you change your way of thinking and also get you talking as to why you're insecure can't see the beauty you have. Link to post Share on other sites
perfectlyunique Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 maybe try counselling for self esteem issues...ive been where you are and tbh still find myself to be ugly sometimes. Im going to counselling for self esteem issues im going to a place called mind...if your in the uk mind its free Your defo not ugly Link to post Share on other sites
thehead Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 Duct tape over youre mouth? Whats that all about? That doesnt sound healthy. Maybe stop allowing that kind of thing to start. Therapy and the gym also. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 You look pretty hot in your avvy. But yeah, sounds like you could have BDD. Link to post Share on other sites
VicJay79 Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 DevilMoth: Congrats on getting a boyfriend. He at least thinks your beautiful and honestly that is the one person that should. I am not sure why you are so hard on yourself, you seem like a nice person from your posts. Its so sad that you put so much stock into just your looks. There is more then the physical image you project. Become more beautiful ont he inside, it shows through. I don't think I'm a really beautiful person. Honestly, I think I look like complete ****. I'll only ever post a picture online when I barely even recognize myself in the picture. (No matter how many pictures you see of me, you'll know how truly ugly I am when you see me on webcam or irl) The thing is... thinking so harshly of myself, no matter how many times people call me beautiful or how many times my boyfriend compliments me, I can't see myself in a positive way unless I have duct tape over my mouth and I look like a slut and am taking pictures for my boyfriend. I know I can't look like that all the time, so I'm stuck thinking I'm the ugliest girl in the world... I want to have more confidence in myself.. but I don't know how to look at myself in a positive way. I don't know how to make myself believe the things that people say about, even if I know they are lying to me. What do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 DevilMoth: Congrats on getting a boyfriend. He at least thinks your beautiful and honestly that is the one person that should. I am not sure why you are so hard on yourself, you seem like a nice person from your posts. Its so sad that you put so much stock into just your looks. There is more then the physical image you project. Become more beautiful ont he inside, it shows through. I would agree with this. Give out positivity and work on anything you perceive to be bothering you, like the fitness aspect. It is important to be a fair, balanced weight as when you get older you can end up looking as though you have been dug up. Seriously now. Not sure what you mean by pics for the bf.. sorry my Mum-ness was a bit concerned there. You come across as playful right now bordering on something a bit dark. Stick with the playful aspect. Invest in this. Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
Datura Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Gain some perspective and don't compare yourself to others. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartShineGirl Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 I don't think I'm a really beautiful person. Honestly, I think I look like complete ****. I'll only ever post a picture online when I barely even recognize myself in the picture. (No matter how many pictures you see of me, you'll know how truly ugly I am when you see me on webcam or irl) The thing is... thinking so harshly of myself, no matter how many times people call me beautiful or how many times my boyfriend compliments me, I can't see myself in a positive way unless I have duct tape over my mouth and I look like a slut and am taking pictures for my boyfriend. I know I can't look like that all the time, so I'm stuck thinking I'm the ugliest girl in the world... I want to have more confidence in myself.. but I don't know how to look at myself in a positive way. I don't know how to make myself believe the things that people say about, even if I know they are lying to me. What do I do? My dear... the only problem that you have is the thoughts in your mind that are constantly telling yourself "I'm ugly" over and over again. You live in a huge big beautiful world with so many people in it who are at some point in time going to want to pay you a nice compliment. Some of those people who say you are beautiful mean it. I've not known a person to tell another person "you're beautiful" and not mean it. The saddest part of all of this is that you don't even need people to tell you that you're ugly, you are doing it all by yourself every day. You have your own worst enemy right there in that brain of yours, and you have all the power in the world to change that right this minute. All you have to do is stop thinking that way. There is a part of you in huge denial that there is any possible way that you are pretty. That part of you is the part that wishes you looked like a super model, or something else, whatever it is your ideal "beauty" looks like. Stop tormenting yourself. Try this exercise, go around the mall or shopping center and go up to random people and just look at them, don't make a big scene but look at them, find people that are not particularly beautiful and look at them. Look at their 'average' faces. Do you think they're ugly? Now go around and find beautiful people. Look at them, do you see any flaws at all? Take a hard look, and look for flaws. Do you see any? Let me say why I want you to do this. People are on the whole "Average" their facial features are going to be beautiful to some of us, and not to others. Sometimes we might see a girl who we think is pretty but our best friend will think she's ugly. Now, how many times do you go to a shopping center and actually look at people and go "Ew, he's ugly, or Ew she's ugly, omg, so ugly!" do you do this? If you say no, then you must realize that other people are also just at the mall to have a good time, they're not sizing you up thinking anything negative like that. If on the other hand you are thinking that way then you are very judgmental and that right there is something you need to work on, right away less you never let yourself have a moment to feel beautiful in this world. Remember... every person deserves happiness, don't you think you do too? If you say yes, then please, by all means, start treating yourself better than you treat anyone else. And, stop being your own worst critic. Or, you will never be able to accept that you look nice. Remember, looks aren't everything... beauty is on the inside first and foremost, and my dear that way of thinking "negative" is a painful way to be thinking, you must get control of that. Go to the mirror and start saying you love yourself. You gotta do it. Do like this little girl does: and try. You can do it! Link to post Share on other sites
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