bluesky3081 Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I just want a voice.I have been with my wife for 9 years.We met at 15 and have been together sense.I love her,I just dont feel in love anymore.I feel like have no voice,She never cares about my day to much.I usually sit and listen to her speak about school and work.I conversation is always geared on whats happening in just her world.I have started to shut down and Im afraid soon I will stop caring.I didnt marry the type of woman you can really explain your feelings to.I feel like Im under appreciate and I always get blamed for the bad things that happen in our life.We are now planning to have a family and I want a family,but Im not sure if I want it with her.Someone please help:(Just talking to her at this point isnt helping,I can barley get a honest word in. Link to post Share on other sites
Irishlove Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I just want a voice.I have been with my wife for 9 years.We met at 15 and have been together sense.I love her,I just dont feel in love anymore.I feel like have no voice,She never cares about my day to much.I usually sit and listen to her speak about school and work.I conversation is always geared on whats happening in just her world.I have started to shut down and Im afraid soon I will stop caring.I didnt marry the type of woman you can really explain your feelings to.I feel like Im under appreciate and I always get blamed for the bad things that happen in our life.We are now planning to have a family and I want a family,but Im not sure if I want it with her.Someone please help:(Just talking to her at this point isnt helping,I can barley get a honest word in. See a marriage counselor please...PLEASE especially before you bring a child into that mess. She needs to listen to you. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I just want a voice.I have been with my wife for 9 years.We met at 15 and have been together sense.I love her,I just dont feel in love anymore.I feel like have no voice,She never cares about my day to much.I usually sit and listen to her speak about school and work.I conversation is always geared on whats happening in just her world.I have started to shut down and Im afraid soon I will stop caring.I didnt marry the type of woman you can really explain your feelings to.I feel like Im under appreciate and I always get blamed for the bad things that happen in our life.We are now planning to have a family and I want a family,but Im not sure if I want it with her.Someone please help:(Just talking to her at this point isnt helping,I can barley get a honest word in. BLue..Speak UP and be heard. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT have children with your wife. Not now! I suggest you talk to her and book an appointment for marriage counselling. See if your marriage can be fixed, if you two can learn to communicate and listen (her listen, you talk).. You GOTTA stand up for yourself and not let her treat you like crap! Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 It is a terrible and lonely feeling, to feel unheard, to feel like your thoughts go unvalued. You have my sympathy. It's possible you have a fundamental communication incompatibility with your wife. You met and married so young, you could hardly have been expected to know how to figure such things out. However, it's also possible you're just in a rut that neither of you knows how to break out of. Like the others, I'd advise you to seek professional help before doing anything drastic. Give your marriage one last shot by hiring a qualified marriage counselor to help your and your wife learn how to talk to each other, AND how to LISTEN. Do not, DO NOT continue to plan for a family at this time. You need to INSIST on the marriage counseling, even if your wife doesn't want to hear it, doesn't want to think about it. And until your marriage is on much healthier ground, wear a condom whenever you engage your wife sexually. Please trust me that children, while wonderful and amazing, are a LOT of work and a LOT of stress and a child would be a major complication to your situation right now and make everything five times harder if you end up dissolving your marriage. You are both young, you have plenty of time to figure this out one way or another before bringing new lives into the picture. If your marriage is coming to an end, at least you will know that you gave it your best effort and that at least a family is not breaking up in the process. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck1979 Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 You're both young and can both have a fresh start. If I were in your shoes, I would cut my losses and stay single and date for a bit before entering into another long-term relationship. Good luck with whatever path you choose. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Light Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I just want a voice.I have been with my wife for 9 years.We met at 15 and have been together sense.I love her,I just dont feel in love anymore.I feel like have no voice,She never cares about my day to much.I usually sit and listen to her speak about school and work.I conversation is always geared on whats happening in just her world.I have started to shut down and Im afraid soon I will stop caring.I didnt marry the type of woman you can really explain your feelings to.I feel like Im under appreciate and I always get blamed for the bad things that happen in our life.We are now planning to have a family and I want a family,but Im not sure if I want it with her.Someone please help:(Just talking to her at this point isnt helping,I can barley get a honest word in. Talking at people and not listening is pure selfishness. It sounds like your wife is really self-centered. I would start talking over her. If she is sitting there talking about her day start talking about yours at the same time but only more loudly. Could get the point across. Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyLeigh Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I think that you should give it a chance and get some help before just chucking it all in the trash. Do some self-reflection while you are at it. Then, if things are not changed or improved, make your decision. But, please do NOT have a child until you resolve your issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Baroness67 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 It sounds like you got into a marriage for all the wrong reasons. It sounds like a bad marriage, and the only way to make it a permanent mistake is to get pregnant ... please don't let that happen. It almost guarantees basic unhappiness in 3 lives. You can count them. Decide what you want. If you love the person you married, then make the effort. If you think you made a mistake, get out before there is a pregnancy. Get out now. Link to post Share on other sites
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