Women, could you be with an uncircumcised man?

[jane100]

He shouldn't smell like anything down there. And if he does, it should smell of cologne or baby powder.

 

As for me, I always use body sprays, baby powder and lotion on my vagina, it always smells like Victoria Secret down there. When my mother taught me good hygiene she told me to always use baby powder and other sweet scents to stay clean & fresh. I do not stink down there.

 

Is this a spoof??! In what way is baby powder sexually interesting? Who is Victoria Secret, who cares? What your mother taught you is weird and wrong. The way I smell "down there" as you put it is fine and dandy.

[MissJoness]

I had phimosis and frenulum breve from puberty. This made erections painful. I blocked out the pain by not having full erections. I wanked by lying on my front and rubbing against the sheets. This worsened the phimosis as did using my foreskin to capture the spunk when I would cum.

 

At 23 I lost my virginity. Within a month, and lots of great sex, I split my foreskin during drunken sex. I went to A&E the next day and had 8 stitches. I was embarrassed and used a false name.

 

Since then, until last year, I basically avoided sex. But the urge and desire was still there. I had mentally blocked out the problem, but was still attracted to women. I suffered premature ejaculations and very low self-esteem. My erections were more often than not, semi-limp.

 

This combination of pain when excited and shame at my own shortcomings made me very angry inside. I never blamed anyone else, but I went from one dysfunctional relationship to the next. I can easily imagine how hopelessly frustrating it must have been for a number of women to be emotionally, socially, mentally and physically with me, but for me to avoid sex.

 

I was dying inside. Why was sex such a big deal to me? I had enjoyed it when I was twenty-three, and I have a liberal, loving attitude to it, but I kept missing the cues, the prompts, the handing on a plate marked "let's have sex". I couldn't work it out. Why did I keep missing the opportunity?

 

Last year I tried to kill myself after having an extremely abusive relationship with someone who also had lots of unresolved issues. After that, and three weeks on a mental health ward, I tried lots of things to get to the root of my unhappiness. By this point, I had not had an erection is about 4 months.

 

I struck lucky with a therapist who is half Dutch, a mother of four, and a very good artist who specialises in scenes of love making and the nude form. Her open yet respectful attitude to sex was just what I needed - someone who was comfortable with it and stable at the same time.

 

We tried hypnotherapy to help me let out whatever pain and fear I had locked away, as that was what was holding me back.

 

Shortly after that session, I took some Viagra, lay on my back, watched some porn and just relaxed. I got an amazing erection. The hardest I had ever had. I was then that I

came to terms with having a foreskin that was too tight.

 

A couple of months later, I saw a urologist who diagnosed phimosis and a lot of scar tissue in the frenulum. I was circumcised a month after that.

 

I am a much, much happier person now because of that simple operation. Since then, having spoken to many people about it, it's become apparent to me that many angry, unstable men also have phimosis. My cousins' ex-husband being a prime example. A man who has excelled in this career, yet gambled himself into tens of thousands in debt, who projects his car crash love life problems onto any woman who gets close to him (and as they are a trigger for a confusing and scary pain, it makes it understandable that he gets angry at them, even though the cause is not them).

 

All the counselling and restraining orders in the world are not going to give him the peace and love he's looking for. A simple operation is what will do that. It's a pity that men's health is such a taboo subject in society and with men especially that we end up with so many hurt, angry, miserable men who end up hurting so many other people when a simple operation to remove some skin can end their pain.

why were you 23 when you finally lost your virginity?

[Velociraptor]

Europeans and British are known to have bad breath, and musty underarms. In some countries, being funky is considered the norm, some places they don't even wear deodorant-- but in America we cannot stand any type of body odor, it's absolutely offensive and can make you a social outcast. That is just how it is. And I love men who smell good, and I expect him to have a clean, circumcised fresh smelling penis too

 

It's pretty obvious you've never been to Europe.

[ASG]

Most dudes are not gonna wash themselves down there several times a day especially if they have a job. How are you going to do that if you are at work for 8-10 hours a day? You shoulnd't have to being scrubbing yourself all day just to stay fresh...get the skin cut off. I say all men should be circumcised because he will develop a bad reputation for having a smelly penis and that rep is hard to shake...

 

You just have had bad luck with men, it seems.

I'm european, so appart from a couple of guys who were cut for medical reasons, everyone else I've been with has been uncut.

And there's no smell. Not more than the regular smell that we all have.

 

Personally I like men to be uncircumcised. I have no problem if they are, though.

But wouldn't do it to a child, ever (unless there was a specific medical reason). But then again, I'm in Europe, where circumcision is completely the exception to the rule.

[betterdeal]

why were you 23 when you finally lost your virginity?

 

It's a long story, but the phimosis was part of it.

[sweetjasmine]

The question isn't if YOU are happy with your decision. The question will be if you SON is happy. Taking such a personal and important decision away from him is dead wrong.

 

Mutilating a baby in a way they cannot reverse is not raising him. I imagine people would get pretty upset if someone decided to cut off a baby's pinky finger or something else they decided looked good.

 

I absolutely agree. Although I've met some men who like that their parents decided to have them circumcised, I've met men who wish it had never happened to them. And it really does affect some men's sex lives. I guess that's what happens when you remove a piece of live tissue with a ton of nerve endings.

 

No one has mentioned STI's or HIV/AIDS yet! Isn't there a lower rate of transfer of disease or something?

 

There's a slightly lower rate of transfer, but that's if we're only talking about completely unprotected sex. That difference becomes absolutely irrelevant when people use condoms. So why cut off a piece of your body when a condom would solve the problem?

 

You are of course entitled to your opinion, same as people who cut off the foreskin (a removable and not mandatory) part of the penis, are entitled to theirs. Do you consider a parent removing a child's tonsils, to be a quack?

 

How can you determine what's "removable and not mandatory"? Is my pinky toe removable and not mandatory? It wouldn't prevent me from walking, so would it have been okay for my parents to have it sliced off right after my birth?

 

Tonsillectomies aren't performed as a matter of routine directly after birth. They're performed when there's a medical reason to do it. The two are simply not comparable.

[MissJoness]

Is this a spoof??! In what way is baby powder sexually interesting? Who is Victoria Secret, who cares? What your mother taught you is weird and wrong. The way I smell "down there" as you put it is fine and dandy.

Where are you from? I'm from USA and Victoria's Secret is a lingerie store that also sells body sprays, lotions, and perfumes. Many women use it to smell good & many men find a sexy scent attractive on a woman. I've never heard of someone not understanding the practice of using baby powder, lotions, and body sprays to stay smelling fresh. It's just an accepted practice in my culture. Men frown on women who stink and vice versa you can develop a bad reputation for it. At work a guy attempted to have sex w/ a woman but she didn't smell good down there, he went to work and told everybody about it, and she got a bad reputation for it. She was always known as the woman with a stank vagina. This stuff does happen.

[jane100]

but in America we cannot stand any type of body odor, it's absolutely offensive and can make you a social outcast. That is just how it is. And I love men who smell good, and I expect him to have a clean, circumcised fresh smelling penis too

 

 

I am laughing my socks off. Why don't you become a specialist circumcision surgeon? See the baby boys screaming but hold your nose?

[betterdeal]

Europeans and British are known to have bad breath, and musty underarms. In some countries, being funky is considered the norm, some places they don't even wear deodorant-- but in America we cannot stand any type of body odor, it's absolutely offensive and can make you a social outcast. That is just how it is. And I love men who smell good, and I expect him to have a clean, circumcised fresh smelling penis too

 

It's amazing anyone managed to breed at all until the invention of deodorant.

[Art_Critic]

bad reputation for having a smelly penis and that rep is hard to shake...

 

...........

[jane100]

Yes, ArtCritic, I know I should laugh, imagine that reputation all over town! Miss Jones is spreading the rumours though .... just be glad it isn't you!

[betterdeal]

Generally, I tend to side with the modern medical attitude that invasive surgery be avoided if possible, although personal choice for aesthetic reasons is entirely down to he individual.

 

I don't like fake boobies, but by all means, have implants if you wish. Similarly, if a man wishes to sculpt his penis, that is entirely his choice.

 

Educating parents of the issue of phimosis is a happy medium between chop em off at birth and never discuss it at all. In fact, greater awareness amongst the population of male health issues is a good thing. Otherwise, it's down to pornographers and preachers to educate men and women on the issue of men's bits.

Edited April 16, 2011 by betterdeal

[Velociraptor]

Generally, I tend to side with the modern medical attitude that invasive surgery be avoided if possible, although personal choice for aesthetic reasons is entirely down to he individual.

 

I don't like fake boobies, but by all means, have implants if you wish. Similarly, if a man wishes to sculpt his penis, that is entirely his choice.

 

And parents who circumcise their baby boys don't let them have that choice later in life.

 

A circumcision is permanent, it's not like you choose when the kid should go to bed or cut his hair(those are normal decisions parents should make for their kids).

[betterdeal]

And parents who circumcise their baby boys don't let them have that choice later in life.

 

A circumcision is permanent, it's not like you choose when the kid should go to bed or cut his hair(those are normal decisions parents should make for their kids).

 

For some reason I get the impression you think I am disagreeing with you, or are you just labouring your point and quoting me at random? As you can see from the post you quoted, I said I favour invasive surgery as a last resort for medical conditions, whilst at the same time agreeing with personal choice on aesthetic grounds.

 

I think post-pubescent boys should have the choice of elective surgery, with suitable guidance and probably parental consent, as well as adults having the choice.

[oaks]

Europeans and British are known to have bad breath, and musty underarms.

 

Did you get that from the same source that told you that men over 30 rely on viagra? It's about as accurate.

[Enchanted Girl]

You don't understand the rules of the game, or you don't like them? You don't have to play the game, you know. I said that women compete among themselves for the best of mates ,and yes, they go to great pains to become good looking enough to attract those guys.

 

And? Do you want to write a book about how women suffer because they have to work hard(at their looks) to get the man they want, or the man they want should instantly be smitten by them because the woman/women want them to be like that, to them?

 

Even among the average men there's competition for the average woman. A man, just by being a man, is not automatically given a woman to be interested in him. In several cases they have to up their quality if they are to have the average woman they want.

 

An example is a friend of mine who is 5'8'' but had to grow muscles to have a 5'3'' skinny woman.

 

Another guy is 6'3'', body is defined, metro sexual, spends money on women, and the only women he attracts, despite all of his work, are obese women.

 

Every time a friend of his wants to introduce a woman to him, he knows that she's obese.

 

Hey, and still he has to pull iron, and take care of his looks and his fashion, if he wants to get some.

 

That still has nothing to do with anything I said.

 

I said beauty is pain for both genders. How does any of that change that?

[elaina]

How can you determine what's "removable and not mandatory"?

 

Ask a surgeon. They remove both mandatory and not necessary parts everyday.

 

Is my pinky toe removable and not mandatory? It wouldn't prevent me from walking, so would it have been okay for my parents to have it sliced off right after my birth?

 

Your above quote is extreme exaggerating. The foreskin is skin, not a separate appendage.

 

Tonsillectomies aren't performed as a matter of routine directly after birth. They're performed when there's a medical reason to do it. The two are simply not comparable.

 

Removing tonsils could be performed earlier (like vaccines are given to prevent diseases when children are young) if scientists noticed a definite advantage to doing so. However, now thankfully even removing tonsils at a later age is not shown to be necessary, though there is no extreme adverse reason to not remove tonsils.

 

That is interesting how you consider it comparable to cut off a finger and cutting off the foreskin of a penis, while you do not consider removing the tonsils (which are not proven to be mandatory for the body to have) to be comparable to removing the foreskin of a penis.

 

Personally I do not see how cutting off a part of the body with bone or cartilage is comparable to cutting of the foreskin of the penis. If however you compare cutting off of a finger or ear with cutting of the penis, that is much more comparable, hmm? Removing tonsils is comparable because both tonsils and foreskins can be removed without horrible consequences to the person.

[elaina]

I said beauty is pain for both genders. How does any of that change that?

 

 

I agree. Working out is painful sometimes and challenging, but actually it feels good too and also the results are lovely.

 

Not eating fattening food is also painful sometime. I hate Easter candy cause I love it so much and I have to avoid it like the plague!

 

Waxing is not fun though my friend who does it helps me by talking and getting my mind off the pain, which I am really grateful to her for, but at the same time, I love the feeling of having smooth, hairless skin. It makes me happy AFTER it's done. I have heard that in Europe, many women do not shave or wax? I do not know if this is true or not, but if it is true, then it's obvious there is a difference in what is considered beautiful.

 

But yeah, I agree with you, beauty is pain for many people, but at the same time, it's also worth it. (I think.)

[anne1707]

At work a guy attempted to have sex w/ a woman but she didn't smell good down there, he went to work and told everybody about it, and she got a bad reputation for it. She was always known as the woman with a stank vagina. This stuff does happen.

 

Actually I think that says more about him than it does her

[Lorelei_Lane]

On topic, the original question:

 

Personally, I prefer a circumcised penis. I know it's said that it desensitizes the head and things like that, but that has never been a problem for the guys I've been with. One of them didn't last as long as I would have hoped, but my husband is usually right on par with me where stamina is concerned. He has never had a problem and he's circumcised.

 

Although I understand both sides of the argument where it's concerned, my husband and I have talked about this at length for when we have kids... and we still haven't come to a decision. There are a few benefits to each side, I feel, and honestly the decision to circumcise a baby boy is up to the parents.

 

Does it hurt? Hell yes. Do they cry? Of course. But, the reason they say that humans go through the teething stage as babies instead of adults is because the pain would absolutely drive us to kill someone, our ourselves. Of course they feel pain at the time, but they don't remember it. That's the benefit of circumcising an infant. The same as them going through the pain of teething, they don't remember it when they're older.

 

But you can NOT judge a parent by the decision they make for their child. It's none of your business.

[january2011]

I'm in the UK and while I've not dated Brits exclusively, every guy I've been with has been uncircumcised.

 

I didn't know that circumcision was so commonly practised on guys in my generation in the US.

 

If I had a son, I would not want him to be circumcised.

 

Nonetheless, cut/uncut is not something I'd factor into my decision-making process when I'm attracted to someone.

[Velociraptor]

On topic, the original question:

 

Personally, I prefer a circumcised penis. I know it's said that it desensitizes the head and things like that, but that has never been a problem for the guys I've been with. One of them didn't last as long as I would have hoped, but my husband is usually right on par with me where stamina is concerned. He has never had a problem and he's circumcised.

 

Although I understand both sides of the argument where it's concerned, my husband and I have talked about this at length for when we have kids... and we still haven't come to a decision. There are a few benefits to each side, I feel, and honestly the decision to circumcise a baby boy is up to the parents.

 

Does it hurt? Hell yes. Do they cry? Of course. But, the reason they say that humans go through the teething stage as babies instead of adults is because the pain would absolutely drive us to kill someone, our ourselves. Of course they feel pain at the time, but they don't remember it. That's the benefit of circumcising an infant. The same as them going through the pain of teething, they don't remember it when they're older.

 

But you can NOT judge a parent by the decision they make for their child. It's none of your business.

 

I'm not gonna judge but I'm intrested as to why parents want to circumcise their babys. So why? Isn't it better to let the boy decide for himself when he is older and can actually have a say in the matter? And no I'm not saying parents shouldn't decide some things for their kids.

 

Stuff like when to go to bed or when to come home for dinner or take a shower... THAT are things parents should decide for their kids. But deciding to circumcise the kid which is permanent and irreversable is not on the same level as deciding when a kid should go to bed now is it?

 

Circumcising a boy has nothing to do with raising him either. Theres SOME things parents should NOT be able to decide for their kids, thats the way I feel about it.

[elaina]

And parents who circumcise their baby boys don't let them have that choice later in life.

 

A circumcision is permanent, it's not like you choose when the kid should go to bed or cut his hair(those are normal decisions parents should make for their kids).

 

 

You know what? Babies don't get all that many choices. I don't know about you, but I didn't have any of these choices when I was little, and it's very hard to reverse these. (Oh and my parents didn't have these choices either...)

 

1. I didn't get to choose who my parents are. Yeah, what a bummer. (Just kidding, I love my parents!!!) (My Dad by the way is circumcised.)

 

However, sad to say, there are kids who are born to parents who don't know how to be good parents and who abandon, hurt, and not love their kids. This has nothing to with circumcision. A circumcised dad can be a great father, and an uncircumcised dad can be a great father. A dad who gets his male children circumcised can be a great father, and a dad who doesn't get his male children circumcised can be a great father.

 

Anyways, who one's biological parents are is a permanent thing that nobody gets a choice about.

 

2. I didn't get to choose where I was born or in what ethnicity, religion, whatever other group you can think of. Though religion and location is not permanent, one's ethnicity is and affects life in many different ways. Sadly, many people around the world are victims of racism because people judge them by the color of their skin or by the circumcision of their penis or by other factors.

 

In Europe, as well as the USA, Russia, and other places around the world, there has been antisemitic hatred that has led to persecution and murder, just because people were different. Jews, who are the "main" group of people who practice male circumcision, due to their beliefs and as a way to show identity, have been victims of terrible persecution, as anyone who remembers the Holocaust and World War II history can tell you. Europe, in particular Germany, still has this wound of the horrible atrocities against fellow human beings. Most Germans now however realize this and work hard to not repeat history.

 

About Europe, sure most Gentiles (Non Jews) in Europe are not cut, but if you ask European Jews, I bet most of them will tell you that they are circumcised.Maybe there are not as many European Jews anymore, since many fled to the USA and to Israel and to other lands in order to escape persecution and prejudice against them.

 

Back to ethnicity, people with darker skin have also been victims of prejudice and persecution, and many African Americans talk about the injustices that are very real. It hasn't been all that long since equality became a part of the USA. Before Martin Luther King Jr., African Americans were treated like second-class citizens.

 

Native Americans have also received horrible persecution and prejudice for their ethnicity. Thankfully, more and more people are understanding though that people should not be treated badly because of ethnicity, but should rather be treated as equals, because they are equals.

 

Should babies have a choice what ethnicity they belong to? Each ethnicity is a part of the one race, the human race, and we should all treat each other with dignity and respect and equality. However, babies do not have a choice as to which ethnicity they belong to... they might be able to change their skin color or act more like another ethnic group of people or not be circumcised by the decision of their parents, but really, every person of any ethnicity should be treated right, and no ethnicity is better than any other.

 

Long time ago, Abraham, who if anybody know anything about the history of the Hebrew people, was one of the first to have circumcision done to himself and to his boys (Ishmael and Isaac). Back then, they did not enjoy the wonderful medical advancements we know today, nor even hot water plumbing (as far as I know.) Circumcision very much could have prevented issues, plus was a way they identified themselves that other people around them did not do.

 

With female circumcision (mutilation) there is a lot of evidence of the consequences of this practice, and many people, particularly doctors and nurses, have and continue to help women who have been "circumcised", and educate in a polite way to the parents, so they will make an informed decision for their own daughters. Insulting them, calling them abusers, and so on is not the way to do this. Rather, having people make informed decisions with plenty of research is the best. Because of all the research and because of all the horrible consequences many women have suffered, now thankfully less girls are being "circumcised."

 

For those who paint male circumcision the same as female circumcision (mutilation), then by all means courteously present the research and give the testimonies to people who are considering whether to circumcise or not.

 

If people think male circumcision is horrible, you don't have to circumcise your child. There are Jewish groups that advocate not circumcising, and that is their decision and is fine. Circumcision does not equal being Jewish, and maybe that will change for more people. However, for many Jewish people who follow what they believe is true, they will continue to be circumcised, and making it illegal will basically be curbing their freedom of religion.

 

Male circumcision is not abuse. It is an operation that many men get if needed. Are they abused? Men get circumcised for health reasons and for many boys who have been circumcised, we actually (yet) do not know how many would have had medical issues which circumcision would help. Maybe someday medical research can pinpoint in DNA who would benefit from circumcision as an infant. Male circumcision is a legit operation which does have benefits for some people. For other people, it is considered a part of identity, like ethnicity/belief. As a person with Jewish friends, I do know Jewish mothers who very much love, care for, encourage, and want the best for their children. They are intelligent women (same as Non Jewish women are also intelligent), and yes, they have their male children circumcised.

[Jazzari]

That is interesting how you consider it comparable to cut off a finger and cutting off the foreskin of a penis, while you do not consider removing the tonsils (which are not proven to be mandatory for the body to have) to be comparable to removing the foreskin of a penis.

 

Personally I do not see how cutting off a part of the body with bone or cartilage is comparable to cutting of the foreskin of the penis. If however you compare cutting off of a finger or ear with cutting of the penis, that is much more comparable, hmm? Removing tonsils is comparable because both tonsils and foreskins can be removed without horrible consequences to the person.

So compare it to cutting off the extra skin around a clitoris. That is very similar, yet illegal in the USA.

 

Tonsils is NOT comparable. You don't remove the tonsils of a baby for cosmetic reasons.

[Pfiend101]

My parents chose not to circumcise me. For a long period of time I was embarrassed as I didn't look like most the other boys in the locker room. When I started having sex around 17 I would make sure my foreskin was rolled back so the girl wouldn't see it.

 

Later I realized most women don't care either way and I'm over it now. The head of an uncircumcised male is extremely sensitive. My ex used to touch the head in this area where it just drove me nuts.

 

Also people keep saying that it is unclean to be uncircumcised. That's a myth If you shower once a day roll the foreskin back and wash the entire area with soap it wont smell. No one has complained to me about any kind of smell down there.

Edited April 16, 2011 by Pfiend101