Rightlymia Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 Ok the guy I'm with said his fantasy was to have a threesome so I went along with what he was saying and made it sound like it was cool but now I'm starting to think he is REALLY serious.I read a book where they said if your partner has a fantasy support them in it even if it's a little off the wall. Now threesomes are fine for some people but I couldn't do it.Not sure how to handle this one.I'm scared he is going to show up with another person one day and expect something.Am I just being paranoid maybe? Link to post Share on other sites
Sundaymorning Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 if you dont want to do it, dont. if he shows up with someone one day against your wishes, leave him. Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 I'm scared he is going to show up with another person one day and expect something I would say any guy that would just show up with someone else one day and expect you to have a threesome without consulting you, is a little off. You probably are being paranoid. Talk to him about it! If it's not your thing (it's not mine, either) let him know how you feel. I read a book where they said if your partner has a fantasy support them in it even if it's a little off the wall. Supporting someone's fantasies does not necessarily mean making them a reality. What book was this? Threesomes can cause serious problems in relationships. You don't have to be ok with them. If he doesn't understand, or is angry with you for not wanting one, move on to someone else. Good luck with what you decide. -Deranged Link to post Share on other sites
Pookette Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 A threesome is a fantasy that is more easily obtainable now, so it's not so much a fantasy as a kinky sex act. Explain to him that you were trying to support his fantasy but you don't feel comfortable with the idea. Or better yet, tell him you'll give him a 2 girl 1 guy deal if he lets you bring another guy home. That stops 'em cold! Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted April 6, 2004 Share Posted April 6, 2004 When I first heard of threesomes, I just assumed it was 2 guys, 1 girl. Much later, I heard about the 2 girl version, and my internal reaction was "Why would anyone want to do that????" And I STILL can't figure it out. Two guys might be cool though. They both have to be hunky. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 I believe you are wise to be a little concerned over the idea of a threesome. Threesomes tend to ruin relationships in quite a few different ways. If you do not feel comfortable with this idea, do not consider it. Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 i think the alure of the 2 girl 1 guy threesome is the fact that you were able to get 2 girls to both hook up with you at once. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rightlymia Posted April 7, 2004 Author Share Posted April 7, 2004 I can see why people might dig it and I admit I have thought about it but actually doing it would be a whole other ball game.I haven't even slept with that many people so I think I wouldn't handle it very well.I wouldn't want to see my man giving it to another chick. Link to post Share on other sites
Dug Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 Personally.....I'd tell him to go hire 2 professionals if you're not enough for him, because I suspect if you don't "support" his fantasy he might just find 2 skanks anyway and not invite you to his party. Exactly what are you supposed to get out of this little adventure anyway.......let me guess ....he says..."but if you Love me Baby, blah, blah, blah........" (LOL) Link to post Share on other sites
du Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 ooh, ooh, ooh...better yet.... explain to him that you have 3 available "openings" and could handle 3 guys, so you want to try a 4 some. No...of course he won't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rightlymia Posted April 7, 2004 Author Share Posted April 7, 2004 I'm not thinking he is so wonderful anymore..It's amazing how you think you know someone but then you find out you don't know them at all.. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 i think a lot of guys have that fantasy, but can be content to leave it as a fantasy. there is nothing wrong with him fanatasizing about this - but to bring it into real life requires your explicit, informed, consent. you alone make the judgment call on this - it sounds to me as though it's not an option you would like to explore at this time. can you incorporate the idea of it into some of your dirtier pillow talk repetoire, if you are comfortable with that? Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 Originally posted by Pookette Or better yet, tell him you'll give him a 2 girl 1 guy deal if he lets you bring another guy home. That stops 'em cold! Actually, I would prefer a 2 guy 1 woman threesome with my wife. I don't want to touch the other guy; we would both do my wife. Link to post Share on other sites
appygrrl927 Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 I had a threesome with my friend and her husband. It did put a strain on everyone involved in their relationships. My boyfriend at the time broke up with me and then her husband found out that we had had a threesome with his best friend before we had one with him and they about got divorced.Luckily now everyone is still friends and nothing like that has ever happened again but we still get picked on and it still gets brought up alot. I don't recommend having a threesome especially if it involves your boyfriend and another girl.... what if this is someone he just wants to hook up with and figures that this is one way he can't get in trouble or lose you for acting on that urge? I mean if he's bringing up a threesome than he probably has someone in mind to fill the third spot already. Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted April 7, 2004 Share Posted April 7, 2004 I think the only way a married couple or a couple in a commited relationship can successfully have a threesome is if the 3rd person is a stranger. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rightlymia Posted April 8, 2004 Author Share Posted April 8, 2004 That is exactly what I would be afraid of too.The weirdness it would cause between all of us.He probably does have someone in mind but I just don't think I could act on it.It's a good fantasy and stuff but I don't think it would be a good situation. Link to post Share on other sites
capitald Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 I think it is not smart to bring another person in from the outside if you really care about the person. If they are doing someone on the side that might not actually be disrespecting you, i.e. what about people that travel alot and need sex and are away from their partner. BUT, if you bring a third person in for a threesome, prepare for quite a bit of heartache. Not only will you feel jealous because you are so close to the person and feel like what you have is special, but a host of other bad things will happen as well. Besides, there is only one penis and two vaginas. It doesn't add up. If you like drama and resentment, well then, a threesome might be the answer for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 Originally posted by fredrolin I think the only way a married couple or a couple in a commited relationship can successfully have a threesome is if the 3rd person is a stranger. even better, a prostitute. or a male gigolo. But very few relationships can survive a threesome. Rightlymia, don't! It might have some sense if *both* of you would like to act out the fantasy. But it is not the case. Your guy should feel lucky enough he can share his fantasies with you, you partecipate in his fantasies. Link to post Share on other sites
Dug Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 Rightlymia......I would be concerned also that at some point when it's just the 2 of you....your guy is gonna tell you that you aren't doing something as good as your 3rd person does.....or ask you to do somthing the way she does it. There would also be no good reason why just the 2 of them couldn't hook up without you once in a while too...and justify it because you've all become f*** buddies. You'll always wonder which of you he's thinking about when you're intimate. It takes a really strong confident person to deal with sharing partners, unless you are so beaten down as to not care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rightlymia Posted April 12, 2004 Author Share Posted April 12, 2004 It's not a good idea at all.The more you all talk the more freaked out I am about the whole situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Cy Posted August 14, 2004 Share Posted August 14, 2004 My current boyfriend and I are very serious and plan on getting married in the not-too-distant future. We went through a lot of discussion about the idea of a three-some (both MMF and FFM) and at first I was very hesitant and worried, even though the idea turned me on. As time went on though, I realized that we love each other too much for another partner to interfere with that. We are currently involved in a bit of an extended threesome with a friend of both of ours (whom I've only gotten to know better and like more through this) and I know that I don't begrudge him his time with her or his intimacy. HOWEVER, you, to begin with, don't even sound like the idea appeals to you and if you don't think you could share him with someone else without getting jealous or paranoid that he will leave you because she's better in bed (honesty is your best friend here. I asked my boyfriend to be truthful with me and have picked up some new tricks for giving a blow job because of it) then there is no way that you should go through with this, and don't tell him that you're willing if you're not. Just be upfront with him, tell him that you don't mind that he has this fantasy, but that it doesn't interest you sexually and you don't like the idea of sharing him. If he's not content to leave it at that, he's just after the sex and not worth your time. Link to post Share on other sites
RowanRavyn Posted August 14, 2004 Share Posted August 14, 2004 IMHO Threesomes are just trouble waiting to happen. Especially for a committed couple. I mean the "fantasy" of it has a certain appeal, but the "reality" of it could leave things in shambles. Maybe it would work if all three were single, and they met somewhere and never saw each other again. I for one do not want to have the memory of another woman touching my honey stuck in my head, and I guarantee you it would be. I wouldn't want him stuck with the image of someone else touching me. I fully confess to being a "cuddle whore" but in our little group of friends there are very clearly defined boundaries. No one feels the need to push them. My honey is a 3-D animator, and a great artist otherwise to boot. Inevitably people end up in our room to see his latest project (his computer is in there), and since the room isn't big enough to support a bunch of chairs, everyone piles on the bed. So often there are a bunch of us piled on the bed, and when I want to go to sleep, I just do. Link to post Share on other sites
eagle Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 I was asked by my boyfriend of 7 months to fullfill his fanatsy. I wanted to make him happy and possibly help him to ge tthus out of system, so that I would not have to worry abot this later. I did the threesome with him and a guy. I was very scared and nervous. He and the guy undertood and I was respected and not forced to do anything that was not comfortable with. But the guy became interested in me and started a spat between my guy and I, which caused us to break up. We stayed apart painfully for 4 long sad days. He contacted me and we talked and we are now together again and our relation is much stronger, but I bet he want ask me to do that again. Link to post Share on other sites
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