with insensitive bf

[crazyboutlove78]

I dont know what to do anymore i find myself googling things like (my bf is selfish) (how to communicate with my bf) I have been with this person for 4 years and i can say most of it has been a bliss, we have 4 kids together 2 are his and 2 are mine, so there is a lot we have been through in this four years. now i fell in love because of how caring and loving he was, i myself have some daddy issues and for me to be caring and loving has taken practice and time, but when i love i love with everything. I have a problem with his communication skills which are nearly non existent and for me that is key i need to be able to express my self to be able to breath ( if anyone know what i mean) i wear my heart on my sleeve and my emotions often show on my face. so we can talk about anything, he wants to talk about and over the course of our 4 year relationship i have started to loose myself, I notice how i dont tell him how i feel often out of fear of getting him mad basically ( he is not violent and has no temper) but it really bothers me when he gets upset because i had a feeling he doest approve of.. just recently i have been having medical issues and think i might have MS and he has been more distant than ever. just when i need him the most. I m scared, and alone and want to cry a lot and. i started crying in the hospital and he told me " babe stop letting your emotions get the best of you" i was so hurt that i couldn't even get upset, but im becoming numb and i refuse to do that.

any advice?

[creighton0123]

Tell your partner this:

 

"When you say 'don't let your emotions get the best of you', I get upset. I have emotions and cannot not feel them when they occur. You agreed to be with me, emotions and all."

 

If he sucks at communication, you can always ask him to replace communication with touch.

 

It's important to make him realize that the emotions people feel are genuinely innate and beyond their ability to control. Sure, you can temper them, but you cannot prevent yourself from feeling them.

 

There's nothing wrong with you.

There's nothing wrong with him.

 

You're two people together, two individuals who are different. Don't you love and care for one another because of both similarities and differences/likes and dislikes?

 

If so, you can agree on some things. If he has no words, he can give you a hug. Let him know that when you're emotional - whether happy or sad - you just need him there and engaged.