Popondetta Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 maybe you guys are right maybe i would be better leaving it and just seeing what happens. it worries me though sometimes, cos i think 'what if i dont meet anyone else?' I'm not the most stunning girl ever, and i know my ex adored me - what if that was my chance for happiness? Shouldn't i work on it? You will find happiness elsewhere for sure!! I know how you feel as I am heartbroken myself (like everybody here on LS), but I think that both you and I know that we will meet someone else if we don't end up with our ex'. I just don't want you to contact him if it is just because of the fear of being alone. But if you geniunly love him then contact him since you were the dumper. Worst case scenario is that he doesn't reply or doesn't want to try again. Well at least then you'll know and you can move on. You know this person and all of us on LS doesn't, so do what you think is the best for you right now. If you really need to get an answer in order to move on then go for it Link to post Share on other sites
Popondetta Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Personally I think the dumper should initiate contact. The dumpee has probably already made it clear that they didn't want the relationship to end so the onus is on the dumper to make things right. In my case, she was stringing me along for 3 months and I just decided to cease all contact. I wrote a hand written letter, gave it to her, and basically rode off into the sunset. While leaving I did stipulate that we would not have anymore contact (emails, calls, sms) and if she wanted or was ready to have a normal relationship with me, she'll know what to do (ie. call/contact me). So I did leave the door a little open for her. That was approximately 6 weeks ago and I have not heard from her at all. I removed anything that reminds me of her in my place and put it in storage. I removed her phone from my mobile as well. I do not ask about her, nor do I go to the places she hangs out at. Basically, I have disappeared entirely. I have also begun dating again and guess what? It's so nice and refreshing to be going out and actually having a good time without any drama. Ultimately, I will end up with the person I am supposed to be with. I cannot force the issue, not with her or anyone else for that matter. If we are meant to be together then somehow, someway, and sometime our lives will cross paths once again. Ugh! That sounds a lot like my situation. Being strung along for 3 months and then I had to force him to make a decision. He wasn't able to, but broke up with me when I forced him... He would like for me to wait for him another couple of months. Sick bastard! Hang in there! All we can do is wait for someone to come into our lives (a new person or an ex....someone who truly wants to commit to us and loves us for who we are) Link to post Share on other sites
1784 Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Yeah, eventually you really do get to the point where you say to yourself "This REALLY shouldn't be so much work, cause me so much stress, take so many tears", etc. Then when you meet someone new you realize you went through all this crap for way longer than you ever should have. I realize it's hard and you want to always make sure you see things through but GOD I wish I could check my heart into a hotel for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Heidi89 Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Hey, sorry to hijack! I'm having this problem myself and I'd love some insight. My ex broke up with me over text 7 weeks ago after an argument where I said some really hurtful things to him. I thought he would cool down after I apologised and we'd be okay. I spent a couple of days begging and crying, but I didn't really realise that there were issues in the relationship beyond just this argument that needed addressing. I saw him once just after the break up where I cried but didn't make much sense. I tried just being friendly with him for a week or so..hit and miss. Anyway, I went NC after that because I literally didn't know what to do. We've spoken over swapping stuff since, but haven't seen eachother. I've had time to think and I realise I took him for granted, I see that now. I didn't treat him the way I should have and I am filled with regret. I feel like I should go and speak to him and tell him that I know the mistakes I made and that I want to put them right. I'm worried in case not trying to fix things with him will confirm what he may be thinking that I never cared enough about him. His sister said that if I have it in me I should try and tell him how I feel one last time. Is this wise even though I am the dumpee? He truly loved me, he treated me amazingly and I was just selfish and stupid. I want to make things right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noleaf Posted April 21, 2011 Author Share Posted April 21, 2011 Hi Heidi Sorry to hear about the situation you are in..... I think some people on here would advise you to keep nc - and say if he wants you back, then he will come to you I think its upto you. If you really feel you have been in the wrong and you want to make it work with him, then i would approach him and explain you have not treated him right and would like to give it another chance. The only thing i would say is, be prepared for him to say no. And make sure that if he does you walk away with your head held high and dont look back. It's one thing to take a risk for love, but trying to make someone want to be with you will ultimately make you feel awful about yourself. Let us know what you decide and how it goes x x x Link to post Share on other sites
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