marqueemoon4 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 (edited) I thought up this analogy, sorry if its obvious. Basically.. when my wife left last May, she closed and locked the door. I sat outside the door banging on it begging for her to let me in (back into her life), panicking. This strengthened her resolve to NOT let me in, and she deadbolted the door. I wasn't going to be denied getting in though, against her wishes, and tried everything to take that door down-- tried to kick it down, C4, you name it, all in vain. "YOU PROMISED YOU'D NEVER, EVER LOCK ME OUT!!!!" I would scream. She continued to sit in there, gaining strength, taking care of herself. All this time I'm 100% focused on JUST GETTING IN and not paying any attention to how horribly I was taking care of myself. Of course, she has my son in there too.. and from time to time she'd send him out for me to hang out with him but after a short while she'd crack the door for me to return him to her. By this point I'm starving, freezing cold, and in bad shape in general. Mentally I'm spent, but still 100% focused on getting in that door. At some point, probably when I was curled up sleeping outside the door, she decided she needed some adult company and let some dude in a secret entrance (get your mind out of the gutter) and they're in there having a GREAT time, enjoying life. I still am outside knocking, but at this point she has completely blocked me out. They discuss how stupid anyone must be to STILL be out there after all these months trying to get into ONE LOCKED DOOR. So, finally, downtrodden, beaten, you shuffle away and try to take care of yourself. You return a month later and gently knock on the door. She responds because she'd surprised you're back.. you promise you've changed and you just want to have a calm discussion. And you know what, in any other circumstance you have changed.. but make no mistake, you're still very upset that this person has locked you out for months and in your opinion, left you for dead. Well, their opinion of you has not changed, and compared to the guy she has in there with her, you look like hell, and are not attractive in any way, shape or form. You try to bargain with her, tell her how the guy she has in there with her is a BAD guy.. he'll disappear soon enough, you'll see. At this point though, she is willing to hedge her bets, and you're not even an option anymore. So what do you do? Keep fighting or just GIVE UP? By now your confidence is gone.. you're a shell of your former self, and the more you continue down this path the worse you'll get. So you LEAVE once and for all and leave all your emotions for this person at the door. Hey, look at that-- there are UNLOCKED doors all over the place, you just couldn't see them due to the fog you were in. It might take some work to be invited inside these other doors, but if you're just yourself its just a matter of time. Everything is gonna be ok. Edited April 17, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
PollyIvy Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Nice one. Love it. Link to post Share on other sites
worlybear Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Quick! Give me a key! Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 The Key Came during the 3 weeks following me catching her in the arms of the pretty boy OM. Calling her a wh*re, at first totally POed her, but with the passage of time she began to reflect that of all of the men in her life, I was the only one who had treated her with respect and love. And that all of the other guys she had dated were only interested in her fold out body, and were treating her like a wh*re Then my lack on contact, and being civil when she came to get her personal things began to trouble her. After 3 weeks, she and the OM were invited by my neighbor (associate OM) for another BBQ and she paid me a visit. I again was civil, which troubled her even more, then she discovered an empty champagne bottle in the trash, and her world began to collapse, then a quick visit to our bedroom confirmed her worst fear She was 12 hours too late. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 The Key Came during the 3 weeks following me catching her in the arms of the pretty boy OM. Calling her a wh*re, at first totally POed her, but with the passage of time she began to reflect that of all of the men in her life, I was the only one who had treated her with respect and love. And that all of the other guys she had dated were only interested in her fold out body, and were treating her like a wh*re Then my lack on contact, and being civil when she came to get her personal things began to trouble her. After 3 weeks, she and the OM were invited by my neighbor (associate OM) for another BBQ and she paid me a visit. I again was civil, which troubled her even more, then she discovered an empty champagne bottle in the trash, and her world began to collapse, then a quick visit to our bedroom confirmed her worst fear She was 12 hours too late. nice. you locked her out. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldIsYours Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 nice. you locked her out. He actually meant he slept with someone else..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 He actually meant he slept with someone else..... yea I got that, but he emotionally locked her out. Link to post Share on other sites
WorldIsYours Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 yea I got that, but he emotionally locked her out. Yea that too. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 then a quick visit to our bedroom confirmed her worst fear She found the blow-up doll! (I'm kidding, I swear.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 (edited) wgw Actually I couldn't afford one. Last year I watched a couple of documentaries, one was on the BBC channel and the National Geographic titled "Taboo". Somebody is selling these life like dolls, moveable limbs, life like hair, the whole ball of wax. I had to admit they were gorgeous. The purchase price is in the thousands of dollars. They interviewed some of the owners, and the guys were totally in love with them. Edited April 18, 2011 by 2.50 a gallon missing line Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 haha, oh yes, "Real Dolls". Crazy stuff. Guys who like to f*ck hunks of plastic. Oddly enough though, the movie "Lars and the Real Girl" is a very sweet little movie about this odd kind of relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 just look what this thread has degenerated to 1 Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 I fully apologize, seriously! I started it with my stupid joke! In all earnestness, I have been thinking deeply about the analogy you drew: the idea of beating on this one locked door vs. a host of unlocked doors. It really bears some thought, as it could be a way to unblock ourselves from futile, repetitive behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 (edited) I fully apologize, seriously! I started it with my stupid joke! In all earnestness, I have been thinking deeply about the analogy you drew: the idea of beating on this one locked door vs. a host of unlocked doors. It really bears some thought, as it could be a way to unblock ourselves from futile, repetitive behavior. i was bored at work so I txt her a quote we used to think was funny.. still is actually. She responded back pretty quick with "ha! i just said that a few days ago!" I, of course, am so starved for her individual attention, couldn't just leave it at that. Oh well. I'd choke a fortune teller to find out if we'll ever be together again. Wth bro????? Edited April 18, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
Craig2425 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Sorry man! It's a lot easier said then done to not contact them. Today I haven't had one urge to contact her but the day is only halfway over and I'm sure tomorrow will be a different story. If you find that fortune teller let me know. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 i was bored at work so I txt her a quote we used to think was funny.. still is actually. She responded back pretty quick with "ha! i just said that a few days ago!" I, of course, am so starved for her individual attention, couldn't just leave it at that. Oh well. I'd choke a fortune teller to find out if we'll ever be together again. Wth bro????? I know, I know, trust me. (nodding vigorously) I texted her a photo of our son while me & the kids were out this weekend. Usually she ignores any 'emotional' things like this with me. Ah, but this time, she texted back, "That's a great picture of him!". I was so STARVED for contact that I almost felt like, "Yesyesyes, here comes the reconciliation!" Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 I'd choke a fortune teller to find out if we'll ever be together again. This is going to have me laughing the whole damn day, btw. Brilliant! Link to post Share on other sites
Craig2425 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 I do this too. I'll send pics of what were doing all the while I'm wishing she was there too. I'll get a similar response(she looks like shes having fun etc) but I'll want her to talk more and say dumb stuff. I've been told I shouldn't send her anymore pics of the stuff we do because that's our time and she doesn't want to be part of that anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 I've been told I shouldn't send her anymore pics of the stuff we do because that's our time and she doesn't want to be part of that anymore. Jeez, that's effin' COLD. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig2425 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Jeez, that's effin' COLD. Not by her. By people on this board.Like she doesn't want to be apart of our family anymore so since she wants to that she shouldn't get to know what kinda fun were having. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Not by her. By people on this board.Like she doesn't want to be apart of our family anymore so since she wants to that she shouldn't get to know what kinda fun were having. Oh, OK. Yeah, I don't subscribe to that notion by people on this board. I think in gentle ways (like this) she NEEDS to be reminded that a family is at stake here. My two cents. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig2425 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 I kinda do to that's why I would send them to her. But it seems like that doesn't work either so maybe i should stop that too Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Craig- at the risk of picking on a nerve (and you can ignore this if you want): you're a month out from divorce, right? Does she show any sign of pulling back from the brink? Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted April 18, 2011 Author Share Posted April 18, 2011 I do this too. I'll send pics of what were doing all the while I'm wishing she was there too. I'll get a similar response(she looks like shes having fun etc) but I'll want her to talk more and say dumb stuff. I've been told I shouldn't send her anymore pics of the stuff we do because that's our time and she doesn't want to be part of that anymore. oh man thats my latest tactic that of course, fails. when we're having a blast I send her a pic to show her how much fun we're having, thinking she'll be like oh man I wish I was there. I'll usually get something back like "great pic" and thats it. Its that whole ACCEPTANCE thing.. once they accept that there will be times they won't be with their kid it just really doesn't phase them. Women pretty much terrify me at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Women pretty much terrify me at this point. Women, fortune-tellers, and real dolls. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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