Hurts like hell but there is light at the end of the tunnel & life does go on right??

[djj]

In October of last year my wife of 6 years told me that we were separating. I moved out Nov. 15 and speak to her almost daily. Our son just turned 3 in March and is my world.... My wife had some intimate encounters shortly after I moved out and then started dating someone for awhile.... for some unknown reason she told me.. partially because I wanted to know, somehow I convinced myself that knowing about her life would force/help/speed up my acceptance of the fact that our relationship had ended. When things went bad with her new boyfriend/relationship... who was there for her? Me. I even picked her up in tears from his house one day because they fought..... when she needs a friend, shoulder to cry on who's there? Me....

 

So I wonder how stupid am I for doing this? I actually feel like I have gotten to a good place in as much as I truly am okay with being her friend now and nothing else. When we first split I def. hoped things would work out and we would get back together but I am at the point where I know and am fine with the fact that we will never be back together and in fact don't want to.... My ex always tells me that she loves me and always will but with the good old "but we aren't right for each other" sometimes added on. I tell her I love her too.. which I do and I always will.

 

I have recently met up with on old.. old friend from school and find myself attracted to her and wonder if a relationship may start? Who knows...

 

Anyway my point is it is tough and your world may feel like it is falling apart but in the end everything works itself out. Maybe I'm just lucky... I tortured myself with knowledge of her live after me but have found myself in a good place and feel stronger for it. We are friends (I should maybe become less of one???) and my children are well.. luckily I can see them anytime I wish and my son spends almost every weekend with me without fail.

 

Sorry I babbled on, guess I still have a few things to get out! But hey anyone else hang in there, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, perhaps you just cant see it yet but when the tears dry it will be there and you will be better for it! Now if I can only figure out how to move onto the next stage of my life and start dating also!!!

 

Thanks for listening.

 

~djj

[Heartfelt]

That's the way to be strong! Glad to hear your son is your life too I know quite a few fellas who just don't care about their kids and it drives me CRAZY. It's great that you two are friends, especially for the little one. Theres no harm in being her shoulder to cry on right now since you don't mind it and you haven't met someone new, but once you do, she's going to have to understand that she can't rely on you to be there for her for when her heart aches. You will move on, you sound like a strong soul. Just be sure she respects your time and space when you have to devote it to someone else who DOES want you and isn't saying to you "we aren't right for each other". It sounds to me like you're ready to get invloved with someone new so take that chance. Good luck.

[sportsloving]

It is so much easier when you can be friends with the ex you have children with

 

I admire you for your post and hope you keep going as awesome as you obviously are! Congrats and good luck on the dating~